Meet The Mets (For Under A Dollar)

Good friends and fellow bloggers Squawker Jon and Squawker Lisa made their way to Citi Field tonight to meet the Mets (and yours truly)! They were able to get in for $0.97 a ticket. Despite those low prices, the stadium still looked more than half-empty. Even an optimist would have to say it was half not-filled. This got the writers at Studious Metsimus wondering (okay, just me and Joey) about other things you can still get for $0.97. We came up with an interesting list:

Two square inches of a ShamWow™. Hey, if a full size ShamWow™ can pick up cola just by laying it on top of the mess, two square inches should be enough. Plus, with two square inches, it won't take up much storage space. Besides, it's made in Germany. That's good enough for me.

Taco Bell! Why pay $9.00 for chicken nachos at Citi Field when you can spend less than $0.97 for similar fake Mexican food? Just remember that the sales tax in New York has gone up from 8.375% to 8.875%. That might make the 89¢ menu items cost more than the allotted 97¢ in our budget.

The original Studious Metsimus brain for the banner/logo thingie! The current banner is dy-no-mite! However, for 97¢, the old idea for the banner could be yours. Now that I'm looking at it, I think that's where they got the meat for the free hot dogs at Citi Field.

The Juan Samuel Grooming Kit. When Samuel was traded to the Mets in 1989 for Lenny Dykstra and Roger McDowell, he brought over his passion for hair care products. Now you can look your best for only 97¢ with this fantastic grooming kit. However, there are no longer free VHS copies of "Coming To America" included with this offer. Juan Samuel apologizes for the inconvenience.

A pitching lesson from Oliver Perez. Since he still has to feed his kids, he's going to need extra income. Therefore, 97¢ will get you and a friend pitching precision from Perez. It is not known whether Dr. James Andrews' cell phone number is included in the deal. For that matter, it is also not known if Ollie actually has kids. I smell a 97¢ scam!

There you have it, my fellow SMFs. If you can't get tickets to a Mets game for the low price that Jon and Lisa got them for, at least you can use that hard-earned cash and exchange it for something you need.

By the way, I'll give you two of those unused Studious Metsimus banner brains for less than 97¢. They were made in Germany, too. Try my product!