Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Even Bruce Willis' "Unbreakable" Character Would Get Hurt On This Mets Team

To call the Mets injury-prone this season would be an understatement. Nearly half of the Mets players on the 25-man roster have spent some time on the disabled list. Most of the boo-boos have been traditional baseball injuries that have taken place on the field, such as Carlos Delgado's hip injury and Carlos Beltran's bone bruise. Now the injuries are just becoming freaky.

In the series opener against the Cardinals Tuesday night, Luis Castillo was walking back to the dugout after leading off the seventh inning with a groundout. As he made his way down the dugout steps, he took a tumble and had to be helped back to the trainer's room with what was later diagnosed as a mild sprain of his left ankle. His current status is day-to-day.

Today the Mets sent rookie pitcher Jonathon Niese to the mound. While covering first base in a failed attempt to complete a double play, Niese landed awkwardly. He was allowed to throw warmup pitches on the mound to make sure he could continue pitching. After his first pitch, he crumbled to the ground, agonizingly grabbing his right leg. After lying on the mound for a few minutes, Niese was helped off the field. He did not appear to put any pressure on his right leg as he was carried off the field with what was later diagnosed as a right hamstring strain.

If you recall, Niese was called up to replace Fernando Nieve in the rotation when Nieve got hurt. Nieve was called up to replace J.J. Putz on the roster when Putz got hurt. The Mets are now halfway to six degrees of ankle separation. Nelson Figueroa replaced Niese on the mound in the second inning and later hit a two-run triple in the bottom of the inning. Fortunately, Figgy did not get hurt while legging out his three-base hit.

It's gotten to the point where I truly believe that Bruce Willis' character in the movie "Unbreakable" would get hurt on this team.

If you haven't seen this movie by famed Chubby Checker fan M. Night Shyamalan ("Come on, baby, let's make a movie with a twist."), I'll give you a quick plot summary. Willis plays David Dunn, a security guard from Philadelphia (Boo, Philly!) who is the only survivor of a train crash. Not only does he survive an accident in which everyone else perished, he doesn't have a scratch on his body. He then meets Elijah Price (played by Samuel L. Jackson. The "L" stands for motherf**ker.), a comic book enthusiast who is on the permanent disabled list with osteogenesis imperfecta, a disease that causes his bones to break with ease.

Without spoiling the ending for you, Dunn discovers why he can't get injured. This leads to the stunning denouement (Keith Hernandez would probably say "that's French for 'denouement'.") that explains why Price has taken such an interest in David Dunn.

If Dunn were truly unbreakable, he'd sign a contract with the Mets. At the very least, he could become part of the team's medical staff. Then again, we're talking about the 2009 Mets here. He might be able to survive a train wreck in Philadelphia, but he'd probably get injured getting off the 7 train in New York while reporting for his first day on the job.

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