Tuesday, November 9, 2010

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's The Super Mets Friends!

Greetings, true believers! Unless you've been living under a Sally Struthers-sized rock, by now you know that the Mets have undergone a complete overhaul in the front office.

First, Sandy Alderson joined the team as their general manager. He was then followed by former Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi. Now comes the news that former Dodgers GM Paul DePodesta has joined the Mets as vice president of player development and amateur scouting.

All three new hires have ties to the Oakland Athletics teams that were the focus of Michael Lewis' book, "Moneyball". Alderson served as A's GM from 1983-1997. Ricciardi was a minor league instructor and scout for Oakland from 1986-1996, before being promoted to the front office as Alderson's special assistant. DePodesta was the analytical mind who brought sabermetrics into the equation when he became the assistant to Oakland's GM Billy Beane in 1999.

In addition, all three men have shown that they can create something out of nothing, as Alderson and the other two all had a part in the transformation of the A's from a sub-.500 team to a perennial contender. (It is not known whether they were the ones who encouraged Mark McGwire to utter "by the power of Grayskull" sometime between his 98-pound weakling Rookie of the Year season in 1987 and his days as an andro-fueled behemoth a decade later.



So what is a possible explanation for the past successes of the trio of Alderson, Ricciardi and DePodesta? It appears that the threesome were inspired by superheroes and Saturday morning cartoons. Absurd? Not at all.

The 1970s cartoon, "Super Friends", featured a brother/sister superhero combo, Zan and Jayna, who were also known as The Wonder Twins. They were always accompanied by their pet monkey, Gleek.

The heroes were known for their shapeshifting abilities that they used in their quest for truth, justice and the cheesy '70s way. To use their powers, they would utter the words "form of _______", where whatever form they chose, that would be what they would transform into.


Sandy Alderson initiated the "Moneyball" way of thinking in Oakland and it was Paul DePodesta's statistical analysis that was used by the front office to determine who to draft and who to trade for. When Alderson became the CEO of the San Diego Padres, he made sure to bring DePodesta along for the ride.

Clearly, Alderson and DePodesta have been studying the ways of Zan and Jayna to become the Moneyball Twins. They have been inseparable since the '90s and have found a way to combat the traditional way of thinking in the front office with their extensive analytical procedures. When Alderson exclaimed "form of Paul Bunyan", Mark McGwire appeared. When the on-base percentage-loving DePodesta shouted "from of treadmill", the walking machine appeared in the forms of Jason Giambi and Nick Swisher.

Alderson's pet monkey in those years was J.P. Ricciardi. He assisted him in the front office and was elevated to director of player personnel once Alderson's understudy, Billy Beane became the A's general manager.

Now the Super Mets Friends are members of New York's front office, where they will try to mold a contending team with their powers to shift things around, but they must be careful with how they approach things.

For example, when Alderson hires a new manager, he might choose to say "form of fireball" and Waly Backman will appear. Of course, he must be careful to say that and not "form of firestorm", because then Francisco Rodriguez will show up with his boxing gloves on.

If DePodesta suggests that the Mets will benefit more if their walks go up, he must phrase his "form of _______" carefully or else Oliver Perez might show up.

If Ricciardi says anything...well...he's Gleek, so he's only there as a special assistant to Alderson. Despite his relatively unimportant sounding title, Ricciardi can still contribute to the franchise just like Gleek did to Zan and Jayna. He can be there to clean up any messes left by the Moneyball Twins if they make a decision they thought would help the Mets and ends up backfiring.

Of course, no mistakes should happen at the Hall of Just Us. After all, the Mets now have superheroes in the front office. They will make fans forget that the Legion of Doom (whose members include Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino and the Roy Boys [Halladay and Oswalt]) is still the four-time defending NL East Champion, won't they?

One thing Alderson and his Merry Men should remember is that Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, et al. are still fighting for justice. Where are the Wonder Twins and Gleek now? Perhaps the Super Mets Friends should have a sense of urgency to make this team better sooner than later. A five-year plan (a la the one Frank Cashen successfully implemented in the early '80s) will not work with this incarnation of the Mets.

The Mets must begin to turn things around now. If not, the Super Mets Friends might be visiting the Wonder Twins and Gleek in limbo soon.

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