Song Parody: 44 Ways To Say Goodbye

The next time Jason Bay stinks up the place, it will not be in a Mets uniform.

Jason Bay came to New York with plenty of potential and plenty of zeroes on his contract.  After three years of covering up his shortcomings with the phrase "but he hustles", the Mets finally decided to cut ties with the hapless hustler, deferring the rest of the money owed on his contract over the course of several years.

The Mets will now have millions of dollars available to sweeten potential deals for David Wright and R.A. Dickey, or perhaps they will use it on another outfielder.  (Shin-Soo Choo, anyone?)  After all, the Mets are now short by one at that position.

So as Jason Bay boards the train leaving from Citi Field, I decided to write a song parody of a popular song by the band Train.  The original song, called "50 Ways To Say Goodbye", has a mariachi band and David Hasselhoff in the video.  (The Hoff used to star in Baywatch; we watched Bay, who used to be a star.  How appropriate.)  I can't promise you mariachis or the Hoff, but I can give you my own version of the song, called "44 Ways To Say Goodbye", based on the number that Jason Bay will no longer wear for the Mets.  Enjoy!


I can't believe my eyes
Did Bay just compromise
To take a hike just like he should
'Twas never meant to be
Too many injuries
He's leaving now since he's no good

That's cool, 'cause all Mets fans have had enough of Jason Bay

Hit the wall back in L.A.
Got a concussion
Ended his season with little production
Help him!  Help him!  Flash light in his eyes!
Came to the park with his lumber
Nothing cured his slumber 
So imperfect, just like Philip Humber
Help him!  Help him!  Bay whiffs every time
He's under the Mendoza line

Fred's wallet feels the sting
Wilpon paid everything
He's kicking Bay out the front door (out the front door)
Thought he was Superman
Bay didn't stick to the plan 
Missing like Koufax on Yom Kippur

Not cool, but it's all true; I'm glad we're rid of Jason Bay

He was caught in a deep slide
Hey, but he was tryin'
Slumps stretched longer than Conan O'Brien
Helpless!  Helpless!  Now we say goodbye!
Bay got just what he deserved
He killed the ballclub
As worthless as a Citi Field ticket stub
Helpless!  Helpless!  Glad we realized
That Bay should go bye-bye

Don't wanna whiff a thousand times with you
Don't want another injury; we're through
Go on...we just don't want you

That's cool, 'cause all Mets fans have had enough of Jason Bay
That's cool, 'cause all Mets fans have had enough of Jason Bay...
 
Hit the wall back in L.A.
Got a concussion
Ended his season with little production
Help him!  Help him!  Flash light in his eyes!
Came to the park with his lumber
Nothing cured his slumber 
So imperfect, just like Philip Humber
Help him!  Help him!  Bay whiffs every time...

He was caught in a deep slide
Hey, but he was tryin'
Slumps stretched longer than Conan O'Brien
Helpless!  Helpless!  Now we say goodbye!
Bay got just what he deserved
He killed the ballclub
As worthless as a Citi Field ticket stub
Helpless!  Helpless!  Glad we realized
That Bay should go bye-bye...