This Weeks' MOOKIE Goes To...

Greetings, my fellow SMFs * and welcome to our first player of the week feature, also known as the Mookies! The entertainment world might have the Emmy Awards, the Grammy Awards and the Tony Awards. Heck, they even have the Razzies and the Bammies.

Studious Metsimus will not be left behind! The Mookie was created in honor of the man responsible for the greatest at-bat in Mets history. In Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, Mr. William Hayward Wilson tantalized the baseball world with a ten-pitch at-bat. Pitch #7 resulted in the game-tying wild pitch and pitch #10 resulted in the "little roller up along first". As a result, it should come to no one's surprise that this award had to be named after him. Besides, the Keithies, Dwighties and Darrylies didn't have the same je ne sais quoi as the Mookies.

Honorable mention goes to George Costanza. After consulting with his good friend, the Bubble Boy during a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit, they agreed to disagree on the Moopies as a possible name for the award. George submitted his suggestion inside a folder marked "The Pensky File". We at Studious Metsimus did not know what to make of the folder it was sent in. However, we do thank George for his contribution, even though it's obvious that his suggestion must have been a typo and he really meant to say Mookies.

Here are the candidates for this week's Mookies:

Angel Pagan

Angel has been running wild on the bases over the past seven days. From August 21-27, he hit at a .345 clip. His ten hits included three home runs, including the first inside-the-park home run in Citi Field history. He also scored seven runs as the Mets' leadoff hitter, drove in four more and swiped two bases.

However, he was also spotted at a Clay Aiken concert (see photo, above left) in a drunken stupor (which probably explains why he was at a Clay Aiken show). The photo also showed some unnamed Mets in attendance with him. Clearly, this was an up and down week for Pagan.

Luis Castillo

Louie Louie continued his torrid pace over the past seven games. His streak of consecutive multi-hit games ended at six, but he still managed to hit .385 and remembered to use two hands on the field and on the dugout handrail.

All this was overshadowed by his decision to grow a goatee in the shape of a baseball (see photo, above left). He has said that he will not shave until the team reaches the .500 mark. Expect him to have a softball goatee by the time spring training opens. A Met who decided to remain nameless wondered aloud if Luis knew that he had a ball on his chin.

Jeff Francoeur

Frenchy was an extra-base machine over the past week. He hit .346, but more than half of his hits went for extra bases, resulting in a .654 slugging percentage. He smoked three doubles and a home run. He also added a triple to his extra-base collection.

However, the only triple Mets fans will remember was the triple play he hit into last Sunday. Representing the winning run in the bottom of the ninth inning, Francoeur lined the ball into the glove of Eric "E-4" Bruntlett, who was covering second since the runners were running on the pitch. Bruntlett's fortunate positioning led to the first unassisted triple play to end a game in National League history.

So who gets this week's Mookie for his performance on the field? How about...

NONE OF THEM!

At Studious Metsimus, we demand perfection from any recipient of the coveted Mookie. This week's nominees had fine offensive weeks, but were not perfect, especially Angel Pagan. His off-the-field exploits were simply unforgivable!

Therefore, Mookie Wilson will hold on to his award for the time being. Perhaps next week, we will have a worthier candidate. If any current Mets player expects to be given a Mookie without completely earning it, he's in for a rude awakening!

*By the way, you may have noticed a star at the beginning of this post. That was not a George Costanza-influenced typo. That was intentional. It was meant to lead you down here. You may have noticed the term SMF and wondered what it meant. No, it does not stand for Sexy Mother F [shut yo mouth], as Prince suggested in his song from 1992.

It's the new term coined for readers of Studious Metsimus. After all, you're here because you're fans of the site. Therefore, you're all Studious Metsimus Fans, or SMFs for short. Have a great weekend, my fellow SMFs! Don't do anything embarrassing like this week's Mookie nominees did!