To Survive 2010, Mets Must Follow Zombieland Rules

Way back when, Studious Metsimus was known as Zombies and Comics and Bears...Oh My! It wasn't a very catchy title and nothing about it suggested that it was a blog about the Mets. Therefore, the change was made to Studious Metsimus and this silly little blog grew in size and popularity.

Now we have a film in theaters that would be perfect to talk about if this blog still had its original name. You know what? That's exactly what I'm going to do.

For anyone who hasn't seen Zombieland, I won't give you any spoilers. One of the recurring themes in the movie is the "rules to surviving a zombie attack". These rules don't necessarily have to apply to zombies. They could apply to the Mets as well. Read on and you shall see what I mean.

Rule #1: Cardio

If the Mets had practiced better baserunning, they wouldn't have lost games to the Dodgers (see Ryan Church) and Angel Pagan would have been a lock for an everyday position next year. Also, Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado wouldn't have added a zero to the end of the 15 in 15-day disabled list.

Rule #2: Double Tap

Much had been made of Citi Field's dimensions as a reason why the Mets hit so few home runs there. They only hit 49 home runs in 81 home games. If that was the case, their opponents should have been equally affected. Not so, Cotton Eye Joe. Mets' pitchers gave up 81 HR at Citi Field. For the season, the Mets were out-homered 158-95.

A legitimate power hitter is a must for the Mets next season. However, more importantly, their pitching staff must give up much fewer home runs. If the Mets can turn those home runs allowed into doubles, they can tap into more success in 2010.

Rule #4: Seatbelts

Some injuries can be avoided quite easily. Just ask vehicularly challenged players from recent seasons, Duaner Sanchez and Tom Glavine. Also, using two hands when going down dugout steps can do the same for Luis Castillo and the Mets as seatbelts could have done for Sanchez and Glavine.

Rule #17: Don't Be A Hero

The 2010 Mets should learn from the mistake Jose Reyes made this season. There was no reason for him to come back in 2009. He tried anyway. Now his hamstring is worse than it was before and will require surgery. Reyes says he'll be 100% by Opening Day, but how sure can he be? Smiles will only get you so far. Not being a hero will get you further.

Rule #18: Limber Up

One should always be prepared when coming up to bat. Perhaps if David Wright had been more limber, he could've avoided Matt Cain's head-seeking missile. Perhaps if Carlos Delgado had worked out his hips a little more, he wouldn't have missed the last five months of the season. This may be the most important rule for 2010.

Rule #32: Enjoy The Little Things

Sure it was a lousy season. Even so-called experts could not have predicted a 70-92 season for the Mets. The team suffered through injuries and poor performances from certain players. But look on the bright side. No one died.

Seriously, Jeff Francoeur was a breath of fresh air, both on and off the field. The late season performances of Nelson Figueroa, Pat Misch and Tim Redding gave the Mets solid options in case of more injuries next year. Things will get better and we'll be able to enjoy them together. Let's Go Mets in 2010 (and go watch Zombieland, in theaters now)!