No Wonder Tyler Clippard Is A Met Killer

Tyler Clippard made his major league debut against the Mets on May 20, 2007 at Shea Stadium. The bastard child of Ron Howard and Sloth from "The Goonies" started the finale of the Subway Series, a series the Mets were attempting to sweep. The sweep did not happen, as Clippard pitched six tremendous innings, holding the Mets to just three hits and striking out six batters.

After making six appearances (all starts) for the Yankees in 2007, Clippard was traded to the Washington Nationals for the man whose name I love to yodel, Jonathan Albaladejo.

Sloth Howard made two uneventful starts for the Nationals in 2008 before Washington converted him into a reliever in 2009, a position in which he has flourished. Since his transition to the bullpen, he has pitched in 44 games and has a 2.43 ERA and a 1.09 WHIP in those games. He has also struck out 75 batters in 66.2 innings and held opponents to a .188 batting average (39 hits in 227 at-bats).

Yes, he has been good, but he has been exceptionally good against the Mets. In yesterday's game, he faced 10 batters and struck out seven of them. The seventh inning was Clippard's most impressive inning. He struck out the heart of the Mets order (David Wright, Jason Bay and Jeff Francoeur) on only 12 pitches. All three batters struck out swinging.

Is it steroids? No. Despite the fact that Clippard's balls are clearly enlarged (see photo, right), his body takes after Ron Howard's side of the family, not Sloth's side.

Is it the pitching coach? Please! The Nationals' pitching coach is Steve McCatty. He was a .500 pitcher when he played for the Oakland Athletics from 1977-1985 (63-63 career record).

McCatty was known for two things. He's known for his miracle 1981 season, when he went 14-7 with a 2.33 ERA and finished second in the Cy Young Award balloting. He's also known for the fact that he couldn't strike anyone out. McCatty struck out only 541 batters over a career that spanned 1188.1 innings. He rarely even got to two strikes on any batter. He had no problems getting to four balls, as he walked 520 batters. This is the man we're supposed to believe turned Tyler Clippard into the über-pitcher he has become? No.

The reason why Tyler Clippard has become the Met killer whose large balls strike fear into the bats of the orange and blue is simple. He studied at the academy with the quiet name, PSSST, which stands for Pitching School of Smiley, Smith and Tomlin. That's right, Mets fans. I'm talking about former Pirate pitchers and Met killers John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin.



The fearsome threesome was contacted by Tyler Clippard to help him strike fear into the hearts of the Mets. As any long-time Mets fan would know, John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin were three lefties all called upon by then-Pirates manager Jim Leyland to shut down the Mets offense. And shut them down, they did!

Here are the stats compiled by the founders of the PSSST Academy over their careers, followed by what they did against the New York Mets:

• John Smiley (career): 126-110 record (.550 winning pct.), 3.80 ERA, 1.23 WHIP
• John Smiley (vs. Mets): 14-10 record (.583 winning pct.), 3.11 ERA, 0.99 WHIP

• Zane Smith (career): 100-115 record (.465 winning pct.), 3.74 ERA, 1.34 WHIP
• Zane Smith (vs. Mets): 10-9 record (.526 winning pct.), 2.26 ERA, 1.10 WHIP

• Randy Tomlin (career): 30-31 record (.492 winning pct.), 3.43 ERA, 1.25 WHIP
• Randy Tomlin (vs. Mets): 9-0 record (1.000 winning pct.), 2.05 ERA, 0.95 WHIP

As you can see, the Mets appeared to be the one team that kept these guys in the major leagues. They were merely pedestrian against all other teams, but turned into Juan Marichal (who won his first 19 decisions against the Mets) whenever the Mets stepped into the batters box.

Apparently, the motto of PSSST (Beat the Mets, beat the Mets, step right up and defeat the Mets) was ingrained so well into Clippard's psyche that he decided to extend it to apply to other major league teams. He not only beats the Mets now, he handles every other team as well.

It is for this reason that PSSST kicked him out of their academy. They were upset that Clippard did not ONLY defeat the Mets. Their policy of pitching well enough to defeat the Mets but no one else apparently didn't sit well with Clippard and so he was politely removed from the academy and went back to the Nationals.

The Mets never did well against John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin. Now one of their former disciples is doing the same to the current team. Tyler Clippard is a Washington National, a division rival of the Mets. The Mets will face Washington 18 times this year. The Mets will have to make some noise against Clippard or the student of PSSST will continue to silence their bats.

Joey's Soapbox: No More Mr. Nice Bear

You may know me as the cute half of the Studious Metsimus staff. I'm the roving reporter and the culinary expert of the staff. I write about all the fun aspects of being a Mets fan, like meeting players and eating chicken nachos at Citi Field.

But I was at Saturday's game against the Washington Nationals and witnessed many things that made my fur crawl. That's why the poofball hat is coming off. It's no more Mr. Nice Bear!


Willy Taveras

If you look up the word "slap hitter" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Willy Taveras. He makes Luis Castillo look like Albert Pujols (a permanently limping Albert Pujols). Before Saturday's game, Taveras had accumulated 2,609 at-bats in the major leagues and had only driven in 124 runs. To say Taveras is a good run-producer is like saying Ted Nugent is a good spokesman for PETA.

So what did Willy Taveras do against Oliver Perez and the Mets on Saturday? He drove in all four Washington runs! Needless to say, it was the first time in Taveras' career that he collected four RBI in one game.

Willy Taveras batted eighth for the Nationals during the matinee. In 2008, Taveras led the National League with 68 SB (breaking Jose Reyes' three-year reign as NL stolen base king). Why would a team bat a speedster in the eighth spot? BECAUSE HE CAN'T HIT! Taveras is like the modern day Willie Mays Hayes. All flash and dash, but no hits and grits. On Saturday, Taveras showed some grit and came through in two different RBI situations. Because Oliver Perez wasn't more careful with the man batting directly in front of the pitcher, he was burned by the one-dimensional Taveras.

Strike one!


Tyler Clippard

In 2007, the Mets were playing the Yankees in an interleague series at Shea Stadium. The Mets were coming off their first season since 1988 that they were playing baseball after the Yankees had played their final game. After taking the first two games of the series, Mets fans were poised for a sweep of the hated Yankees.

When the Yankees announced that Darrell Rasner would not be making his scheduled start because of a broken finger, Mets fans salivated at the thought that some no-name by the name of Tyler Clippard would be starting. (Yes, I know it's a contradiction to say he's a no-name and then name him, but is this blog called "Studious Metsimus Reader Soapbox"? No, it's called "Joey's Soapbox", so I don't want to hear anyone correcting me!)

Of course, the Yankee Clippard pitched beautifully in his first major league start, giving up only three hits over six innings and the Yankees avoided being swept by the Mets.

On Saturday, Clippard (who was voted by his high school classmates to be the one most likely to play Sloth in "The Goonies" remake) faced the Mets again, this time as a member of the Washington Nationals.

Clippard faced them in relief of starter John Lannan, after Lannan pitched five shaky innings. Maybe he used some of One-Eyed Willy's treasure, (this is different than One-Dimensional Willy, who was mentioned earlier. Pay attention, people. That was just another "Goonies" reference.) but Clippard was outstanding against the Mets once again, pitching three scoreless innings and striking out seven batters.

Perhaps Tyler should change his last name from Clippard to Klippard, because he seemed to corner the "K" market at Citi Field. No Met batter struck out during the first four innings. Then Sloth came into the game and made the Mets whiff early and often. As if Citi Field wasn't windy enough, the Mets' bats had to generate more wind from all the swinging and missing!

Strike two!


Willie Harris

Even a casual Mets fan should know who Willie Harris is. He is the outfielder's version of umpire Angel Hernandez, meaning he lives to screw the Mets. First, he made this game-saving catch as a member of the Atlanta Braves on August 9, 2007.

The ninth-inning shot hit by Carlos Delgado would have been a dramatic game-tying home run. Instead, it became a long out and helped preserve a 7-6 Braves victory. In a season where the Mets lost the division title (and the wild-card) on the final day of the season, any additional victory could have sent the Mets into the playoffs. Willie Harris' catch might have been just as crucial to dashing the Mets' postseason hopes as any of the million games they lost after the "17 games to go" point of the season.

Then on May 15, 2008, Willie Harris made this catch against the Mets, this time as a member of the Washington Nationals, but also at Shea.

The catch on a ball hit by Ryan Church helped preserve a 1-0 win by the Nationals, spoiling a brilliant effort by Mike Pelfrey, and led to Billy Wagner's infamous "you should be talking to those guys over there...oh, they're not here...big shock" post-game comments.

By the way, the Mets lost the wild card to the Brewers on the final day of the 2008 season. One more victory during the season, yada, yada, yada...you know where I'm going with this.

Fast forward to Saturday's game against the Nationals. Josh Willingham had started in left field for Washington and had failed to make this catch on a ball hit by David Wright.

Since Willingham is not known for his defense, Willie Harris was inserted into the game as a late-inning defensive replacement. In the ninth inning, the Mets loaded the bases with two outs. Up came Rod Barajas, who had hit two home runs against the Nationals in the series opener on Friday night.

This time, Barajas smoked a line drive to left field that Gary Cohen immediately called as a base hit on SNY. The only problem was that it wasn't. Willie Harris was in left field, not Josh Willingham. There's no need to post a picture of what happened. I think you already know.

Why do I hate Willie Harris more than the average Mets fan? Perhaps the photo below will explain it for me.

That's right. I was at all three games where Willie Harris snatched potential victories away from the Mets. There are no words for how I feel about Willie Harris. In fact, I will say nothing else about him other than...

Strike three!


I want to be a nice bear. My fans expect that from me. But sometimes the Mets make it impossible for me to keep the cuteness façade up. Saturday was one of those days.

My Studious Metsimus colleague tells me that I should remember that the 1986 Mets also started out with a 2-3 record before they turned it around and ended up winning 108 regular season games and the World Series. He might be right, but those Mets never had to face Willy Taveras, Tyler Clippard and Willie Harris.

All I know is that if the Mets continue to lose games they should win, Mr. Nice Bear might never come back. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Joey's Soapbox: I Hate Renyel Pinto

This is Joey and yes, that is a picture of me pooping on Marlins' relief pitcher Renyel Pinto. I'm overdue for a Joey's Soapbox blog, so this piece will be entirely devoted to my newfound hatred for Pinto.

The Studious Metsimus staff arrived early at Citi Field on Wednesday night in the hopes of getting an exclusive interview with...well...anyone.

The Marlins were taking batting practice at the time and we settled in near the left field foul pole with our pencils and index cards ready for the interview. (Note: We would have used 21st century technological advances for the interview but our budget was limited in order to get chicken nachos.)

We spotted a crowd of Marlins players standing near the left field line, including the aforementioned Pinto and Leo Nuñez. Nuñez was more than willing to be interviewed and was going to come over for an interview (see photo, right), but Pinto called him back as a fly ball was approaching them. Nuñez never came back for the interview.

Later on, another Marlin hit a deep fly ball off the left field wall. (We're not sure who the player was, but we're sure he'll be traded before he's eligible for free agency.) The ball rolled near the foul line where we were standing. It seemed like the perfect time to get an interview AND a baseball.

I called out to Pinto to give us the ball and an interview and even did an embarrassing dance to get his attention. Pinto acknowledged us by attempting to do the same dance while facing in our direction. Truth be told, it looked less like a retaliatory dance and more like the Truffle Shuffle.

No. Not the Teufel Shuffle (although it is nice to see Tim Teufel show up in a Studious Metsimus blog). I said Truffle Shuffle. You know, Goonies...Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Joey Pants, Mouth, one-eyed Willy, Sloth, CHUNK! Oh, just click here and you'll see what I mean. I bet Bill Webb doesn't have to go through this with his behind the scenes crew!

Back to the story. Renyel Pinto did his foolish dance and appeared to be coming over to give us the ball and the interview. Then he threw the ball in our direction. It fell short by about five feet. He then picked it up and threw it again. Short. One more try. Even shorter. By this time, Pinto was laughing and it was clear he was doing this to mock me. This was made more evident when he picked up the ball and handed it to a young Mets fan sitting two sections over from where we were.

As you can see by the photo to the right of this paragraph, I was confused by Pinto's cowardice to grant an interview to a bear. Did he think I was going to bite him? Do you see any teeth in the picture?

I was about to start an "OFF THE FIELD" chant similar to the one Mets fans used last year when the Mets where preparing the Shea Goodbye ceremonies after the last game of the season and the Marlins refused to leave the field in a timely manner, showing their audacity by scooping up some of the dirt at Shea!

Instead, I decided on a better form of revenge. I used up the entire Studious Metsimus budget and went up to our fav'rit chicken nacho stand. I asked for extra beans and cheese so that the picture seen at the top of this blog would have a little extra kick for Mr. Pinto.

Pinto seemed unaffected by my flatulent follies as he relieved starter Ricky Nolasco with one out in the seventh inning and proceeded to retire the two batters he faced. Then again, Pinto was named after a car that also did not care about the foul odor that was always emanating from it (see photo below), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

The Marlins defeated the Mets Wednesday night by the final score of 6-3, but that wasn't the main story. The main story as far as I'm concerned was the lack of respect shown by Renyel Pinto towards me. By making fun of me, he also insulted the Mets and Mets bloggers as well.

It's okay. I'll get over it. There will be other interviews to conduct and I will bring home a baseball one day. For now, I'll just spread the word that Renyel Pinto is hated by this blogger and perhaps we can all come together when the Marlins visit Citi Field in 2010 with signs depicting a run-down Ford Pinto, assuming Renyel is still with the team.

Time to get off my soapbox. I've got some more chicken nachos to get through!