Hey, Wilpons! Where's The Beef?

Watching the Mets go after free agent pitchers is like watching a game of musical chairs, except the Mets are the ones who are left without a chair when the music stops.

First came the announcement that free agent pitcher Ben Sheets had signed a one-year, $10 million (plus performance bonuses) contract with the Oakland Athletics. Now comes word from Corey Brock of mlb.com that Jon Garland has signed a one-year, $5.3 million deal to pitch for the San Diego Padres. The deal also pays Garland $6.75 million in 2011 if the Padres choose not to buy him out for $600,000.

After the John Lackey signing with the Red Sox, many of the remaining free agent pitchers on the Mets' radar have signed reasonable contracts FOR OTHER TEAMS! None of these contracts has been for the amount of money the team wasted on Oliver Perez to retain his impeccable ability to throw ball four.

Here are some of the deals given to players who were supposedly on the Mets' radar, but chose to sign somewhere else. The players are listed in alphabetical order to appease the fans who like organization amongst all the disorganization:

Doug Davis

Surprisingly leaves Arizona to sign a one-year deal with Milwaukee for $5.25 million.





Jon Garland

Takes his laundry from LA down the coast to SD for the next year and $5.3 million.



Rich Harden

Yawns his way out of the north side of Chicago to sign a one-year, $7.5 million deal with the Texas Rangers.




Jason Marquis

Gets off his Rocky Mountain High to sign a two-year deal with the Washington Nationals worth $15 million (with an option for a prosthetic right leg).







Joel Piñeiro

After a career year in St. Louis, he looks to the heavens and finds the Angels and their two-year, $16 million deal to his liking.






Ben Sheets

Celebrates his year off from baseball by signing a one-year, $10 million contract with the Oakland Athletics.




Randy Wolf

Takes the force with him from Los Angeles to Milwaukee for three years and $29.75 million.





Usually players sign with other teams for big money, for the security of a long-term deal or to play for a contender. Every player listed above signed for less money than Oliver Perez did in 2009. Other than Wolf, none of the players signed for more than two years. And other than Harden and Piñeiro, the rest of the players decided to sign with teams who finished the 2009 season with a losing record (Brewers, Padres, Nationals, Athletics).

So are you telling me the Mets couldn't afford these pitchers? Did they find the length of their contracts to be too much? To the Wilpons, I have one thing to say. Come close to the screen so you can see it clearly.

WHERE'S THE BEEF??

Are you aware that the fans are not going to accept a repeat fourth-place performance by the Mets in 2010? Do you think you can place a small patty inside a bun and hope that it satisfies your paying customers to come back for seconds? Surely you can't believe we're idiots!

But hey. Who am I? I'm just one of those paying customers who keeps coming back for that small patty inside that oversized (and overpriced) bun. The free agent pitchers who have chosen to sign with other teams are probably on to something that I've failed to notice.

As Mets fans continue to sit around hopelessly watching the latest free agent pitcher sign with another non-blue and orange team, I'd rather look on the bright side. At least Omar Minaya hasn't decided to re-sign Jose Lima (yet).

If The Mets Don't Sign Ben Sheets, Studious Metsimus Knows Why

On Tuesday, free-agent pitcher Ben Sheets showcased himself for a number of teams, including the Mets, who are interested in his services for the 2010 season. In his workout session, Sheets threw 20 fastballs to show his potential suitors that his velocity had returned. His fastest pitch was timed at 91 MPH.

Although Sheets missed the entire 2009 season because of elbow surgery, he has shown that he is a top-notch pitcher when healthy.

Since his breakout season for the Brewers in 2004, Sheets has compiled a 53-44 record, with a stellar 3.24 ERA and a 1.09 WHIP.

In 2009, Mets pitchers were at or near the bottom of the league in walks allowed. Since 2004, Sheets has walked only 152 batters in 128 starts, an average of barely over one walk per start. He has also struck out 785 batter over the same time period, giving him a strikeout to walk ratio of better than 5:1.

When healthy, Sheets has been a top of the rotation pitcher. However, his health concerns made pitchers like John Lackey, Jason Marquis and Joel Piñeiro the top names on the Mets free-agent radar. Now with Lackey in Boston, Marquis in Washington and Piñeiro in Anaheim, the Mets have turned their attention to the oft-injured Sheets.

Omar Minaya has messed things up before. I think he's about to mess things up again. Why do I think that? It's all because of Ben Sheets' son, Seaver.

It has come to the attention of Studious Metsimus that Ben Sheets has a son named Seaver. Of course, our resident GM will just assume that he was named after The Franchise, Tom Seaver, and will use that to coerce Sheets into signing with the Mets.

How does Omar know that Ben Sheets wasn't a big fan of the show "Growing Pains" when he was a little Sheet? Perhaps he laughed until he cried whenever he watched the Seaver Family from "Growing Pains".

Maybe he related to the youngest son, Ben Seaver. After all, they were both named Ben. It's also quite possible that he wanted to pay tribute to young Ben but his wife didn't want another Ben in the house to avoid confusion. Therefore, he paid tribute to his fav'rit sitcom character by naming his son after TV Ben's last name. Hence, Seaver Sheets.

I can imagine Ben Sheets being so offended that Omar Minaya just assumed Seaver Sheets was named after Tom Terrific that he ends up giving another team a blank contract (a la Andre Dawson in 1987 with the Cubs). He'll end up playing for millions less than the Mets would have offered him just to spite Omar.

Omar Minaya better not mess this up the way he botched the Lackey, Marquis and Piñeiro situations. If so, Studious Metsimus will have to feature a blog on how Omar's fav'rit show as a twenty-something was also "Growing Pains". However, it'll be obvious who his fav'rit character on the show must have been (see photo below).

Mr. Minaya, I beg you. Please don't be a Boner. Don't let Ben Sheets get away. Most of all, don't offend the man!

The Mets need pitching help badly. Johan Santana and four straight rainouts are not going to happen every week. The offense was helped with the signing of Sgt. Bay of The Yukon. Now it's time to get Seaver's Dad (No, not Alan Thicke) on the team. If the Mets let another free agent pitcher sign with another team for reasonable dollars, Omar Minaya will forever be a Boner in the eyes of Studious Metsimus.

Halladay To Phillies, Lackey To Red Sox, Jack Squat To Mets

On a day when a few extra coals have been added to the Hot Stove, the Phillies are close to trading for ace pitcher Roy Halladay, while Jon Heyman of SI.com is reporting that Studious Metsimus man-crush John Lackey will be signing a five-year, $85 million contract with the Boston Red Sox.

In related news, the Mets have announced the signing of Jack Squat. Squat hasn't done much in the past and might go unnoticed in the Mets clubhouse, but that is due to the fact that no one ever knows he's there. Since he wasn't a Type A or Type B free agent, the Mets pounced on Squat since they knew he would sign for next to nothing.

I have to joke about this because if I didn't, I'd be crying. The Mets are just twiddling their thumbs watching players they should have acquired not only sign with other teams, but get traded to teams that will have a great impact on where the Mets will finish in 2010 and beyond.

Not only are the top pitchers being signed and/or traded to other teams, but now the Mets might have to overpay for pitchers such as Jason Marquis and Joel Piñeiro so that they don’t sign with other teams. I have nothing against either pitcher, but what if Santana gets hurt again like he did at the end of the 2009 season? Neither Marquis nor Piñeiro is good enough to be the ace of a staff the way Halladay and Lackey were with the Blue Jays and Angels, respectively.

The 2010 Mets with a staff of Santana, Marquis/Piñeiro, Pelfrey, Maine and some $36 million pitcher looks a lot like the 2009 staff, meaning mediocre at best. Of course, on the bright side, the Red Sox might not be able to afford Jason Bay now that Lackey will be getting a couple of bucks from them. Unfortunately, Jason Bay can’t pitch and now that Halladay and Lackey appear to be off the radar, there is a dearth of ace-type starters for the Mets to consider.

The Citi Field press conference room is resembling a ghost town.

Let’s just put it this way. The way the Mets have gone about this offseason, it looks like they’re taking the “let’s take our time and see how this all plays out” approach. What might have worked in the past is not working this time around. Omar Minaya can’t let other teams, especially his main rivals, scoop up player after player while he waits intently in the Citi Field press conference room for the player introduction that’s not going to happen.

While teams like the Phillies and Red Sox are giving their fans awesome stocking stuffers, Mets fans are just getting lumps of coal in their stockings. At least we’ll be able to use that coal to heat up our stoves because it sure looks like the Mets’ hot stove isn’t using it.