World Series Turf War: Jay-Z vs. Big Willie Style

Rivalries. They exist everywhere. Whether it's the Mets and the Phillies, Tupac and Biggie or Sally Struthers and a truckload of Ring Dings, rivalries can turn former friends into sworn enemies (except Struthers and the Ring Dings; they're still on speaking terms).

Now we have a new rivalry forming. Because of the upcoming World Series between the Phillies and the Yankees, Philadelphia native Will Smith has entered into a war of words with noted Yankee fan Jay-Z. Here is the tale of the tape between Mr. Jada and Mr. Beyoncé:

Will Smith burst out of the West Philly scene with DJ Jazzy Jeff, had a string of Top 40 hits, but his time as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air changed him. His clean image took a hit when he was seen smacking Carlton behind Uncle Phil's back and he also never intervened whenever his supposed best friend, Jazzy Jeff was thrown out of the mansion. Big Willie Style left his brotherly love in Philly when he went out west.

Jay-Z rose from the projects in Bed-Stuy to become one of the leading entrepreneurs in hip-hop. He is the co-owner of the 40/40 Club and the New Jersey Nets, but he has also made some poor business decisions. For example, he attempted to sell his Roca-Pads tampons by using Chappelle's Show as his infomercial. Then, he made his wife Beyoncé angry when he attempted to be a backseat driver (see photo below). Not smart to go Big Pimpin' on stage.

Will Smith has since recovered from his Bel-Air brainwashing. With numerous box office successes (let's not talk about "Wild Wild West") and a successful marriage to Jada Pinkett-Smith, the former Fresh Prince has now decided to throw his Hancock into the ring by taking on Jay-Z as their cities are being represented by the Phillies and the Yankees in the World Series.

They have decided to battle on the mics. Smith began by laying down these fresh rhymes:

"I was once the Fresh Prince, but now my Phillies are regal.
The Yankees are endangered like my friend, the bald eagle.
Jay-Z might be living in his Empire State of Mind.
But I'm the one who's gonna tap his wife's lovely behind."

When Jay-Z was informed that Smith believed that he was ready for Beyoncé's jelly, he did not seem to be perturbed. However, things changed when he realized that Smith had also badmouthed the Yankees.

Without giving so much as a thought, Jay-Z freestyled his response to Smith:

"I'm gonna make sure you live a Hard Knock Life.
For dissin' on my Yankees and mackin' on my wife.
I'll savor our victory while you cry in defeat.
Welcome to the Bronx: the real nightmare on your street."

So the battle is on. The war will not only be fought between the foul lines; it will also be fought in the luxury boxes. Jay-Z and his Yankees vs. Big Willie Style and his Phillies. Who will live? Who will die? Who'll be crying like a baby when Suge Knight hangs him off the press box? (It'll probably still be Vanilla Ice.)

All of these questions will be answered over the course of the next four to seven games. Now excuse me while our combatants are getting ready to take the stage at Yankee Stadium. I believe their wives are in need of some company...

Which Prince Should The Mets Acquire In 2010?

As the Mets count down the days until the 2009 season is put out of its misery, we at Studious Metsimus would like to look forward to the 2010 season. Omar Minaya will have many holes to fill. One of these holes will be at first base.

Barring a Miracle on 126th St, Carlos Delgado will no longer be a Met in 2010. Daniel Murphy has performed well and has somehow remained healthy, but his offensive production leaves a lot to be desired for in a corner infielder. The Mets might have to look elsewhere for a new first baseman in 2010 if they went to become serious contenders in the National League East.

First base is a position of royalty. From Dave KINGman to the man whose glove was touched by King Midas himself to become golden, Keith Hernandez, to the one player special enough to be allowed to wear his special crown at first base, John Olerud, the Mets have not lacked royalty at first. Therefore, Studious Metsimus will undertake the dubious responsibilty of choosing the new Mets first baseman for 2010, keeping in mind that it's time for a new prince to man the position.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

You might know him as Will Smith, but he was once a prince that had been excused of his royal duties at around the same time that the Rico Brogna era began at Shea. One thing that you may not have known was that he could pick it at first base.

However, his place of birth and upbringing make him a questionable pick for the Mets first baseman job. In an exlusive interview with Studious Metsimus, Mr. Smith had this to say:

"In West Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school."

The Philadelphia connections would not go over well with die-hard Mets fans. Also, his statement made it seem that basketball might be his preferred sport. The Mets would probably have to put a clause in his contract preventing him from shooting hoops in the offseason, especially after all the injuries suffered by the team in 2009.

Another thing working against Mr. Smith was suggested in this quote taken after the interview when he thought he was off the record. Mr. Smith was talking about his trip to the interview location.

"I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie, 'yo homes, smell you later'. Looked at my kingdom. I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air."

Mr. Smith would never be welcome in New York if he continued to use his Hancockian enhanced olfactory powers to disrespect New York City cab drivers. For as talented as he is, first baseman of the future for the Mets will not be added to his already impressive résumé. Besides, he was also spotted in clubs doing the Carlton Dance. No way he succeeds in New York after word of that gets out.

Prince Rogers Nelson

As Keith Hernandez would say, first base is a position that requires proper footwork to succeed. Anyone who has seen Prince on stage knows that his footwork is impeccable. He would have great range at first base and would not have to guard the line because he'd be able to get to many ground balls that most first basemen would never reach.

One little problem with the purple one...

HE'S ONLY 5'3"! First basemen should be at least a foot taller than that. Line drives over his head would be unreachable. Of course, being vertically challenged has its advantages. He doesn't have that far to go to reach for ground balls. He would also draw many walks due to his smaller strike zone, which is crucial for a team that needs as many baserunners as the Mets do. He's an option at first base that Omar will have to consider.

Prince Spaghetti

Okay, now Omar's options appear to be getting a little thin. (Get it? Thin spaghetti? To quote ALF, "Ha! I kill me!")

Prince Spaghetti wouldn't even work as a Sunday giveaway at Citi Field. Why? Because everyone knows that Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day! Next!

Prince Fielder

This move would make sense on so many levels. Mets fans would love him because he went after Guillermo Mota just like their beloved Mike Piazza once tried to do.

Vegetarians would love him because he decided to become one before the 2008 season.

Carnivores who don't approve of his new eating habits could use a Prince Fielder at-bat as an excuse to go out to Shake Shack. With any luck, they might even catch one of his home runs while standing in line for an inning or five.

Omar, you shouldn't have to look so confused. The answer should be simple. Since you can't seem to acquire any free agents (hence the ridiculous signing of Oliver Perez this past offseason), the trade route is the way to go.

In 2010, Fielder will be entering the final year of the two-year, $18 million contract he signed with the Brewers prior to the 2009 season. He will more than likely demand an average $15 million-plus salary when he becomes a free agent after his contract expires. There is no way the Brewers can ante up that chunk of change. Therefore, it would be in their best interests to trade Fielder.

With the impending departure of Carlos Delgado and the inability of Daniel Murphy to develop into a high-average, good-power corner infielder, the Mets will need a first baseman in 2010. Prince Fielder might have priced himself out of the Brewers' future. Come on, Omar! Take Ben Stiller's words to heart. Do it! Do it!