Which Prince Should The Mets Acquire In 2010?

As the Mets count down the days until the 2009 season is put out of its misery, we at Studious Metsimus would like to look forward to the 2010 season. Omar Minaya will have many holes to fill. One of these holes will be at first base.

Barring a Miracle on 126th St, Carlos Delgado will no longer be a Met in 2010. Daniel Murphy has performed well and has somehow remained healthy, but his offensive production leaves a lot to be desired for in a corner infielder. The Mets might have to look elsewhere for a new first baseman in 2010 if they went to become serious contenders in the National League East.

First base is a position of royalty. From Dave KINGman to the man whose glove was touched by King Midas himself to become golden, Keith Hernandez, to the one player special enough to be allowed to wear his special crown at first base, John Olerud, the Mets have not lacked royalty at first. Therefore, Studious Metsimus will undertake the dubious responsibilty of choosing the new Mets first baseman for 2010, keeping in mind that it's time for a new prince to man the position.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

You might know him as Will Smith, but he was once a prince that had been excused of his royal duties at around the same time that the Rico Brogna era began at Shea. One thing that you may not have known was that he could pick it at first base.

However, his place of birth and upbringing make him a questionable pick for the Mets first baseman job. In an exlusive interview with Studious Metsimus, Mr. Smith had this to say:

"In West Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some B-ball outside of the school."

The Philadelphia connections would not go over well with die-hard Mets fans. Also, his statement made it seem that basketball might be his preferred sport. The Mets would probably have to put a clause in his contract preventing him from shooting hoops in the offseason, especially after all the injuries suffered by the team in 2009.

Another thing working against Mr. Smith was suggested in this quote taken after the interview when he thought he was off the record. Mr. Smith was talking about his trip to the interview location.

"I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie, 'yo homes, smell you later'. Looked at my kingdom. I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air."

Mr. Smith would never be welcome in New York if he continued to use his Hancockian enhanced olfactory powers to disrespect New York City cab drivers. For as talented as he is, first baseman of the future for the Mets will not be added to his already impressive résumé. Besides, he was also spotted in clubs doing the Carlton Dance. No way he succeeds in New York after word of that gets out.

Prince Rogers Nelson

As Keith Hernandez would say, first base is a position that requires proper footwork to succeed. Anyone who has seen Prince on stage knows that his footwork is impeccable. He would have great range at first base and would not have to guard the line because he'd be able to get to many ground balls that most first basemen would never reach.

One little problem with the purple one...

HE'S ONLY 5'3"! First basemen should be at least a foot taller than that. Line drives over his head would be unreachable. Of course, being vertically challenged has its advantages. He doesn't have that far to go to reach for ground balls. He would also draw many walks due to his smaller strike zone, which is crucial for a team that needs as many baserunners as the Mets do. He's an option at first base that Omar will have to consider.

Prince Spaghetti

Okay, now Omar's options appear to be getting a little thin. (Get it? Thin spaghetti? To quote ALF, "Ha! I kill me!")

Prince Spaghetti wouldn't even work as a Sunday giveaway at Citi Field. Why? Because everyone knows that Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day! Next!

Prince Fielder

This move would make sense on so many levels. Mets fans would love him because he went after Guillermo Mota just like their beloved Mike Piazza once tried to do.

Vegetarians would love him because he decided to become one before the 2008 season.

Carnivores who don't approve of his new eating habits could use a Prince Fielder at-bat as an excuse to go out to Shake Shack. With any luck, they might even catch one of his home runs while standing in line for an inning or five.

Omar, you shouldn't have to look so confused. The answer should be simple. Since you can't seem to acquire any free agents (hence the ridiculous signing of Oliver Perez this past offseason), the trade route is the way to go.

In 2010, Fielder will be entering the final year of the two-year, $18 million contract he signed with the Brewers prior to the 2009 season. He will more than likely demand an average $15 million-plus salary when he becomes a free agent after his contract expires. There is no way the Brewers can ante up that chunk of change. Therefore, it would be in their best interests to trade Fielder.

With the impending departure of Carlos Delgado and the inability of Daniel Murphy to develop into a high-average, good-power corner infielder, the Mets will need a first baseman in 2010. Prince Fielder might have priced himself out of the Brewers' future. Come on, Omar! Take Ben Stiller's words to heart. Do it! Do it!

This Weeks' MOOKIE Goes To...

Greetings, my fellow SMFs * and welcome to our first player of the week feature, also known as the Mookies! The entertainment world might have the Emmy Awards, the Grammy Awards and the Tony Awards. Heck, they even have the Razzies and the Bammies.

Studious Metsimus will not be left behind! The Mookie was created in honor of the man responsible for the greatest at-bat in Mets history. In Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, Mr. William Hayward Wilson tantalized the baseball world with a ten-pitch at-bat. Pitch #7 resulted in the game-tying wild pitch and pitch #10 resulted in the "little roller up along first". As a result, it should come to no one's surprise that this award had to be named after him. Besides, the Keithies, Dwighties and Darrylies didn't have the same je ne sais quoi as the Mookies.

Honorable mention goes to George Costanza. After consulting with his good friend, the Bubble Boy during a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit, they agreed to disagree on the Moopies as a possible name for the award. George submitted his suggestion inside a folder marked "The Pensky File". We at Studious Metsimus did not know what to make of the folder it was sent in. However, we do thank George for his contribution, even though it's obvious that his suggestion must have been a typo and he really meant to say Mookies.

Here are the candidates for this week's Mookies:

Angel Pagan

Angel has been running wild on the bases over the past seven days. From August 21-27, he hit at a .345 clip. His ten hits included three home runs, including the first inside-the-park home run in Citi Field history. He also scored seven runs as the Mets' leadoff hitter, drove in four more and swiped two bases.

However, he was also spotted at a Clay Aiken concert (see photo, above left) in a drunken stupor (which probably explains why he was at a Clay Aiken show). The photo also showed some unnamed Mets in attendance with him. Clearly, this was an up and down week for Pagan.

Luis Castillo

Louie Louie continued his torrid pace over the past seven games. His streak of consecutive multi-hit games ended at six, but he still managed to hit .385 and remembered to use two hands on the field and on the dugout handrail.

All this was overshadowed by his decision to grow a goatee in the shape of a baseball (see photo, above left). He has said that he will not shave until the team reaches the .500 mark. Expect him to have a softball goatee by the time spring training opens. A Met who decided to remain nameless wondered aloud if Luis knew that he had a ball on his chin.

Jeff Francoeur

Frenchy was an extra-base machine over the past week. He hit .346, but more than half of his hits went for extra bases, resulting in a .654 slugging percentage. He smoked three doubles and a home run. He also added a triple to his extra-base collection.

However, the only triple Mets fans will remember was the triple play he hit into last Sunday. Representing the winning run in the bottom of the ninth inning, Francoeur lined the ball into the glove of Eric "E-4" Bruntlett, who was covering second since the runners were running on the pitch. Bruntlett's fortunate positioning led to the first unassisted triple play to end a game in National League history.

So who gets this week's Mookie for his performance on the field? How about...

NONE OF THEM!

At Studious Metsimus, we demand perfection from any recipient of the coveted Mookie. This week's nominees had fine offensive weeks, but were not perfect, especially Angel Pagan. His off-the-field exploits were simply unforgivable!

Therefore, Mookie Wilson will hold on to his award for the time being. Perhaps next week, we will have a worthier candidate. If any current Mets player expects to be given a Mookie without completely earning it, he's in for a rude awakening!

*By the way, you may have noticed a star at the beginning of this post. That was not a George Costanza-influenced typo. That was intentional. It was meant to lead you down here. You may have noticed the term SMF and wondered what it meant. No, it does not stand for Sexy Mother F [shut yo mouth], as Prince suggested in his song from 1992.

It's the new term coined for readers of Studious Metsimus. After all, you're here because you're fans of the site. Therefore, you're all Studious Metsimus Fans, or SMFs for short. Have a great weekend, my fellow SMFs! Don't do anything embarrassing like this week's Mookie nominees did!

...And The Winner Is: STUDIOUS METSIMUS

There you have it! It's a new era in Mets blogging, as Studious Metsimus has arrived! A new name, a new look, a new banner (...and what a gorgeous banner it is! I needed something that beautiful SOONER than later!)

This site has changed its name more times than Prince. We used to be known as "Zombies and Comics and Bears...Oh My!", then came "It's A Mets Mets Mets Mets World", followed by fifteen minutes of another name that I will not write here because silly me didn't notice that someone else already had that name.

However, I had brains on my mind and "Ed's Smart-Ass Mets Site" wasn't very kid-friendly, so I was thinking for a moment while watching the Mets game. I felt an itch on my brain so I decided to scratch my gluteus maximus.

That's when the cartoon lightbulb appeared over my head. I shut it off quickly because it wasn't a fluorescent bulb and I need to conserve energy. Going green is cool unless if you're Sean "No Neck" Green.

Before I shut off the light, I took my crayons and scribbled out the new name of the site. No, I did not choose Gluteus Maximus. Behold its rhyming cousin, STUDIOUS METSIMUS!

Studious Metsimus will be your new home for smart Mets commentary and silly little blogs. From game recaps to Joey's musings to the "I Hate Joe Orsulak" feature (I'm sure you can't wait to find out what that's all about. So do I! I haven't written one yet!), this will be your place when you want something a little different with your Mets fix!

Relax, have an adult beverage (I'm not talking about Metamucil, although that name would be appropriate for this site, wouldn't it?) and enjoy the blogs! I'll do my best to make sure you won't be disappointed. Thanks for visiting and LET'S GO METS!!