The K-Rod Deal: Who Could The Possible PTBNL Be?

PTBNL. No, it doesn't stand for Perhaps Tim Bogar Needs Listerine. It stands for Player To Be Named Later. There will be two PTBNL coming to New York from Milwaukee in exchange for former Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez.

So who could the two players to be named later be? Sandy Alderson gave no hints in his conference call with members of the media earlier today. Of course, we have some ideas at Studious Metsimus. Who knows? Some of them might actually be right...

Bernie Brewer

The fun-loving Brewers mascot would come to the Mets and set up shop by the Beers of the World stand. While kids are having their pictures taken with Mr. Met, their parents could get a high four from Bernie (since he only has four fingers) and indulge in an adult beverage or three.

Bernie's slide from Milwaukee, which he rides down after every home run hit by the Brewers, would not come with him to Citi Field, as the Mets don't hit home runs there, making the slide nothing but an expensive dust collector.




Bob Eucker

Upon arriving at Citi Field, he’d say "great seats, eh, buddy" like in the old Miller Lite commercials, only to be reminded that his seat has an obstructed view. Then during a pitch, he’d utter "just a bit outside", before being corrected that the pitch hit the batter, to which he’d say "well, with all these obstructions at Citi Field, how can anyone be expected to call a game properly?"




Robin Yount's statue

Since the Mets either haven't thought about it or can’t afford to pay for a statue of Tom Seaver to be erected outside Citi Field, they figured they'd just trade for one and hope that their fans don’t notice the difference.

Of course, if the fans dress up as empty seats during the second half of the season, they probably won't have to worry about it.





Rollie Fingers' mustache

The Mets haven’t had a player with a killer mustache since the '80s when Keith Hernandez’s ‘stache patrolled first base at Shea Stadium. With the team trading away their closer and Brian Wilson’s beard being all the rage among ninth inning specialists, the Mets would give the lip hair to Bobby Parnell to make his 100 MPH fastball look all the more intimidating.

On a related follicle note, the Mets did try to trade Francisco Rodriguez to San Francisco for Brian Wilson’s beard but pulled the trade off the table when the Giants asked for a package of K-Rod, Carlos Beltran and a Shake Shack burger. Was the addition of Beltran the dealbreaker? Not exactly.

The Mets claimed that the state of California already has the In-N-Out Burger chain while New York doesn’t, so they felt the Giants asking for Shake Shack would be an embarrassment of riches.



For now, we'll have to wait and see who the players to be named later will be in the Frankie Rodriguez trade to Milwaukee. Perhaps they'll get a mascot. Perhaps it'll be Mr. Belvedere's sidekick.

Regardless of who the players are, the Mets had to make this trade if they wanted to have any chance of signing Jose Reyes in 2012. With K-Rod's vesting option no longer a concern, the Mets will need plenty of funds to have a chance of keeping Reyes in 2012 and beyond. After all without Reyes, it would take more than Bernie Brewer to bring Mets fans back to Citi Field.