Monday, June 10, 2013

The #MetsTwitterDraft Thank You Speech

Hello, everyone.  This is Joey Beartran, otherwise known as the more entertaining half of the Studious Metsimus blogging duo.  If you're on Twitter, then you're aware that today was the #MetsTwitterDraft.  The good folks at The Daily Stache decided to conduct a special draft today to honor the best tweeters, players, bloggers and Mets personalities who use the 140-character social media outlet.

My colleague at Studious Metsimus was selected by #TeamPresser as the 14th overall pick in the draft (7th round).  He was so thrilled by his early selection that he decided to compose a thank you speech.  However, as most of you know, he's a big chicken who has no public speaking skills whatsoever.  Therefore, he left it up to me to read it to you.  Here goes.

I dedicate this photo to my colleague, the chicken who couldn't even deliver his own thank you speech.

I can't tell you how honored I am to have been selected by #TeamPresser in the #MetsTwitterDraft.  Actually, I can.  It's something I never thought would happen, considering my humble beginnings.

As a child, I used to write Mets-themed anecdotes and was always fascinated by statistics.  I even won five bucks once for knowing that Cleon Jones' 52 RBI in 1972 was the lowest full-season total for a team leader in RBI.  And those five bucks immediately went toward the purchase of Mets tickets.

But there was only one problem with my statistical-driven stories.  They were too short.  It wasn't until the advent of Twitter (did Al Gore take credit for inventing that as well?) that I found the perfect outlet to share information that would bore the common man (i.e. Yankee fans who only know how to count to 27), but would pique the interest of the uncommon man (i.e. Mets fans).

Since I joined Twitter several years ago, I've created a number of memorable and recycled hashtags (#HakunaTejada, #BackToYouLaGAREs, etc.), made fun of Jason Bay and Ike Davis in ways no one knew was possible, and delivered as much Mets minutia as can be absorbed by the human brain.

Now, thanks to Mr. Matthew Falkenbury and Señor Jon Presser, all that hard work has finally paid off.  I'm now the 14th overall pick in the #MetsTwitterDraft, or the meat in a @marccarig / @RageWynn sandwich.  That's a pick that Mets fans don't take lightly.  After all, only two Mets have ever been drafted as a 14th overall pick - Lee Mazzilli in 1973 (you may have heard of him) and Rich Puig in 1971 (the most famous Puig in baseball until Yasiel showed up in Hollywood).

I promise I will be more like Mazz and less like this little Puiggy as I embark on doing whatever it is a 14th overall pick does.  And I promise, if anything unfortunate should happen to the lucky 13 taken before me by #TeamStache and #TeamPresser (i.e. getting permanently stuck in a Citi Field elevator, being part of a mass demotion to Las Vegas to keep Ike Davis company, etc.), I will gladly take over the top spot and treat it with the respect it deserves.

Thanks again to all my supporters, to the Daily Stache, and to #TeamPresser for taking a chance on a Mets blogger who needs a teddy bear to read his speeches for him.

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