Joey's Soapbox: Top Ten Reasons Why The Texas Rangers Will Win The World Series

Greetings, everyone!  Can you believe the baseball season is coming to an end?  In two short months, it'll be winter and I'll be counting down the days till pitchers and catchers report while wondering how to unfreeze my behind from the frozen ground.  (I should probably wear pants under my Mets hoodie.)

Oh, who am I, you ask?  I'm glad you asked!  This is Joey Beartran, your fav'rit inanimate prognosticator.

In case you missed it, over the past month I've given you my Division Series predictions and my League Championship Series predictions.  I fared quite well with my first round picks, correctly picking the winner in three of the four series.  However, I didn't do as well with my LCS picks, losing both series.  Some of you might #BlameBeltran but I choose to place the blame on my excitement because both the Phillies and Yankees were eliminated within 24 hours of each other in their respective Division Series matchups.

So that brings us to the grand finale, the be all and end all, the salsa on the chicken nachos.  It's World Series time!  This year's Fall Classic will feature the two-time American League champion Texas Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals, who have won more pennants and World Series titles than any team who doesn't play in the House That Juice Built.

Instead of doing my usual prediction, I'd like to do something different in this piece.  I'm going to tell you who's going to win first (the Texas Rangers in 6) and then I'll give you my top ten reasons why they'll win.  Ready?  Let's go!

Top 10 Reasons Why The Texas Rangers Will Win The World Series

10.  The Rangers are the fifth team in the past 20 seasons to reach the World Series in consecutive seasons.  Each of the last four teams who have appeared in back-to-back World Series has won at least one title.  The '08-'09 Phillies (boo) won back-to-back pennants, winning it all in 2008.  The '98-'01 Yankees (double boo) appeared in four consecutive World Series, winning three of them (triple boo) from 1998 to 2000, before losing to Arizona in 2001 (ha ha).  The '95-'96 Braves also won two straight pennants, being crowned in 1995, and the '92-'93 Blue Jays had a mini-dynasty, but because Canada uses the metric system, it was actually a much longer dynasty than you originally believed it to be.

9.  The actor who played Rangers manager Ron Washington was really funny in Moneyball.  Cardinals skipper Tony La Russa has never been funny a day in his life.  Funny = Championship.  Just look what humor did to the Cleveland Indians in the first Major League film.

8.  Tony La Russa overused his bullpen (ya think?) in the National League Championship Series.  He plans to outdo himself in the World Series by using a different pitcher every time Nelson Cruz comes to bat.  After the first four homers, he'll make a pitching change after EVERY PITCH to Cruz.

7.  The Texas Rangers have never played a game in St. Louis.  Ever.  Their only interleague matchup against the Cardinals was in 2004, when St. Louis took two out of three from Texas at the previous Busch Stadium.  Who was the losing pitcher for the Rangers in the rubber match?  None other than R.A. Dickey!  The Rangers will adopt a "Do it for Dickey!" rallying cry in the World Series and exact their revenge on the Cardinals.

6.  The Cardinals need a rally squirrel to help them win ballgames.  The number one pastime in Texas after Cowboys football, college football and high school football is hunting.  That squirrel doesn't stand a chance.

5a)  This was our view in Texas:

5b)  This was our view in St. Louis:

5c)  The view in Texas was far better than the view in St. Louis.

4.  Chris Carpenter is 2-6 with a 7.26 ERA and 1.87 WHIP in 12 career games (11 starts) against the Texas Rangers.  It's his highest ERA and WHIP against any team (min. 50 IP).   He is also the only Cardinals pitcher to ever lose a game to the Rangers, losing to them in the middle game of their only interleague series in 2004.  (Do it for Dickey!)  In case you hadn't heard, Chris Carpenter is starting Game 1 of the World Series against the Rangers.

3.  The 21st century has been full of cities and/or greater metropolitan areas holding multiple championship parades for their victorious teams.  It happened in 2002, when the Lakers won in June and the Angels won in October.  The Boston area repeated the feat in 2004, with the Patriots winning the Super Bowl in February and the Red Sox reversing the curse in October.  It happened a third time in 2009, when the Steelers took home the Vince Lombardi trophy in February and the Penguins won the Stanley Cup in June.  The Dallas Mavericks won the NBA championship this past June.  The Rangers play just a few miles away in Arlington.  That's the definition of a greater metropolitan area, my friends.

2.  The American League and National League have alternated winning the World Series every year since 2005, with the White Sox (2005), Red Sox (2007) and Yankees (2009 - boo) taking home the trophy in the odd-numbered years and the Cardinals (2006), Phillies (2008 - hiss) and Giants (2010) taking that final champagne bath in the even-numbered years.  2011 means that it's time for the American League to pop the cork.

And the number one reason why the Texas Rangers will win the World Series is...


Two words:  Nolan Ryan.  It's been 42 years since he won his first World Series ring.  It's time for him to win a second after coming within three wins of doing it last year.  Tony La Russa has won six pennants (three in Oakland and three in St. Louis) and two World Series championships (one with each team).  He's got his rings.  Now Nolan gets his.  Period.


Enjoy the World Series!

...and do it for Dickey!

Bears On Film: Moneyball

Greetings to all!  We're Joey and Iggy Beartran and this is the premier edition of Bears On Film, which is not to be confused with Men On Film, the old skit starring Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier from In Living Color or Girls On Film, the classic song by Duran Duran.  In today's segment, we're going to review "Moneyball", a film based on the best-selling book by Michael Lewis.

(By the way, this review comes with a HEAVY SPOILER ALERT, so if you don't want to know what happens in the film, you should stop reading this now.  However, since we went through all this trouble to write it, you'll have to get us some popcorn so that we don't call your house and leave a voice mail with the entire synopsis of the film.)

The cast of the film includes Brad Pitt as Oakland A's general manager (and former Mets first round draft pick) Billy Beane, Academy Award winner Philip Seymour Hoffman as A's manager (and former Mets manager) Art Howe and Jonah Hill as assistant general manager Peter Brand (since Paul DePodesta was presumably too hard to spell).

The film begins with the 2001 ALDS between the Oakland A's and the New York Yankees, focusing on Johnny Damon (the opening shot of the film is of Damon batting against Roger Clemens in Game 5 of the ALDS) and Jason Giambi, two high-priced members of the A's who were free agents at the end of the season.  The A's fell to the Yankees in that deciding fifth game and Damon and Giambi signed free agent contracts with the Red Sox and Yankees, respectively.  (Former and current Met Jason Isringhausen was another free agent mentioned in the film who packed his bags following the Game 5 loss and took his wares to St. Louis.)

General manger Billy Beane was left with a problem after the departures of his star players.  How would he replace their numbers without breaking the bank?  Enter Peter Brand. (Or Paul DePodesta - if you're still calling it Shea, then we're calling him DePodesta!)

In a meeting with Cleveland Indians' GM Mark Shapiro (played by Reed Diamond), Beane attempts to trade for relief pitcher Ricardo Rincon.  When that fails, he decides to acquire outfielder (and future Met) Karim Garcia, a player Shapiro is originally open to dealing.  However, Brand/DePodesta, through a series a hand and head gestures, tells Shapiro not to deal Garcia.  Beane ends up with nothing from Cleveland.  However, he didn't leave empty-handed.  Shortly after the meeting, Beane convinced Brand/DePodesta to come work for him in Oakland as his new assistant general manager.

We missed the next few minutes of the film because we wanted some snacks.  It was really hard to pass up that freshly popped popcorn and the oodles of snacks on display, so we sacrificed a few minutes of the film to refuel (that's code for filling our tummies).  Eventually, we'll catch those missing minutes on DVD/Blu-ray.  For now, you'll have to either see the film or ask someone who saw it in its entirety and wasn't as tempted by the snack display as we were.

The movie continued with Beane and Brand/DePodesta bucking the system, while at the same time alienating the other members of the A's front office/talent evaluators with their new approach to evaluating players, namely through the use of on-base percentage as a way to properly replace Damon and Giambi without having to pay an arm, a leg and Rollie Fingers' mustache for it.  Billy Beane was down with OBP (yeah, you know me), while the old farts of the old regime were left with questions like "Who's Fabio?".  (Trust us, it's a very funny scene.)

Damon and Giambi were replaced by David Justice and Scott Hatteberg.  Justice had helped defeat the A's in the 2001 ALDS, but was considered to be over-the-hill and a liability on the field by all of the talent evaluators on the A's not named Beane and Brand/DePodesta.  Hatteberg had played all or parts of seven seasons with the Boston Red Sox, primarily as a catcher.  However, he could no longer throw the ball and was not being sought after by any major league teams.

Despite their shortcomings on the field, both Justice and Hatteberg did have one thing in common.  They walked more than Caine in Kung Fu.

So down came the Damon, Giambi and Isringhausen banners at the Network Associates Coliseum (that's what the ballpark was called in 2002) and up went a lone David Justice banner.  The 2002 A's were built to walk, and over the first two months of the season, they walked their way to the bottom of the AL West standings.

Manager Art Howe (Philip Seymour Hoffman) refused to play Scott Hatteberg at first base, going so far as to reminding his general manager that it was his (Howe's) job to manage and Beane's job to be the general manager.  Needless to say, Beane wasn't exactly fond of his manager, so he traded Howe's other options at first base, Carlos Peña and Jeremy Giambi, to the Detroit Tigers and Philadelphia Phillies, respectively.  This led to a classic scene in the film where Beane orders Howe to insert Hatteberg in that night's starting lineup, to which Howe steadfastly refuses.  Howe insists on starting Peña that night before finally being told by Beane that he can't start a Detroit Tiger at first base.

Philip Seymour Hoffman must be a great actor if he could effectively play the most boring manager in major league history in Art Howe.

The film continues with the ascension of the new "Moneyball" A's, as they rise from the ashes of last place (after Beane assures the owner of the A's that they would be within seven games of first place by the All-Star Break) and adds a story not seen in the Michael Lewis book, namely the relationship between Beane and his daughter, Casey (played by Kerris Dorsey).

Although the father-daughter relationship scenes seemed out of place at first and an unwelcome addition to the film, one particular scene in a music shop set the stage for future scenes involving Beane's ability to "enjoy the show" that was his ragtag group of players (and yes, the quotation marks in the previous sentence are intentional).

And what a show it was!  The A's climbed all the way to the top of the AL West, winning an American League record 20 consecutive games late in the season.  They returned to the playoffs after being written off by many after the fleecing of their high-priced free agents, but were once again eliminated in the ALDS, this time by the Minnesota Twins.


Moneyball showed off the fantastic acting chops of Brad Pitt and Philip Seymour Hoffman, but what surprised us the most was the portrayal of Brand/DePodesta by Jonah Hill.  Hill's dramatic turn in Moneyball was a complete 180 from his usual comedic roles and should not be discounted.  Speaking of comedic roles, Brent Jennings was hysterical in his role of A's infield coach Ron Washington, producing some of the movie's funniest lines (a scene in Scott Hatteberg's house comes to mind).

Finally, we can't imagine what's it like to be a GM in the major leagues, but one scene involving Beane's attempt to finally land reliever Ricardo Rincon from the Indians at the trade deadline was pure genius.  The scene involves a hectic back-and-forth exchange between Beane, the always-in-the-background Brand/DePodesta, Beane's secretary Suzanne, and a plethora of other major league GMs, including former Mets GM Steve Phillips.

And to think this was all for a 32-year-old lefty specialist who pitched a grand total of 443.2 innings in 11 seasons in the majors (which, you guessed it, ended with this time as a Met in 2008 - did everyone in this movie have a job with the Mets at some point?  Even Chad Bradford, who "prayed" for Billy Beane in another fantastic scene, played in Flushing.)

Brad Pitt will certainly garner attention from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences come Oscar time.  His portrayal of Billy Beane showed a man who was willing to think outside the box, but did so because winning was the most important thing to him.  His passion for the game, despite not being able to play it well enough to stay in the major leagues (seeing him in a 1984 Mets road jersey with the racing pinstripes was worth the price of admission), was evident throughout the film.  Losing was unacceptable.  Beane would not accept anything less, even from players who on paper weren't supposed to compete with the Yankees or other teams that bathed in their own money, and Pitt played the character perfectly.

Brad Pitt rallies the troops, which includes former big league shortstop Royce Clayton, who plays Miguel Tejada (clearly before Tejada's "alleged" steroid use).

Since we are also the Studious Metsimus culinary experts, we couldn't help but notice various scenes with Beane eating peanuts, popcorn and an entire Twinkie in one bite.  He never seemed to eat anything but junk food, which is a trait we'd like to incorporate into our lifestyles when we're not reviewing baseball films.

So do we recommend Moneyball to our faithful readers?  Let's just say we gave the film TWO BIG PAWS UP!!

It's got tremendous acting (Philip Seymour Hoffman put Iggy to sleep a few times, which means he played Art Howe perfectly), fantastic baseball drama (the A's-Royals matchup at the end of the 20-game winning streak was full of tension - we felt like we were watching an actual game being played), and enough junk food to make any bear happy.

At two hours and 13 minutes, the film might have been a tad lengthy (gotta love those father-daughter scenes), but then again, it was about as long as four innings of a Red Sox-Yankees game.  If you think of it that way, the film flew by.

Moneyball was worth the money we found in the Studious Metsimus petty cash tin.  Even the Oakland A's, with their penny-pinching ways, would shell out top dollar for this film.  The A's might not have won a championship yet under Billy Beane, but the performances in this film are most certainly of a championship caliber.  Go see Moneyball!

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's The Super Mets Friends!

Greetings, true believers! Unless you've been living under a Sally Struthers-sized rock, by now you know that the Mets have undergone a complete overhaul in the front office.

First, Sandy Alderson joined the team as their general manager. He was then followed by former Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi. Now comes the news that former Dodgers GM Paul DePodesta has joined the Mets as vice president of player development and amateur scouting.

All three new hires have ties to the Oakland Athletics teams that were the focus of Michael Lewis' book, "Moneyball". Alderson served as A's GM from 1983-1997. Ricciardi was a minor league instructor and scout for Oakland from 1986-1996, before being promoted to the front office as Alderson's special assistant. DePodesta was the analytical mind who brought sabermetrics into the equation when he became the assistant to Oakland's GM Billy Beane in 1999.

In addition, all three men have shown that they can create something out of nothing, as Alderson and the other two all had a part in the transformation of the A's from a sub-.500 team to a perennial contender. (It is not known whether they were the ones who encouraged Mark McGwire to utter "by the power of Grayskull" sometime between his 98-pound weakling Rookie of the Year season in 1987 and his days as an andro-fueled behemoth a decade later.



So what is a possible explanation for the past successes of the trio of Alderson, Ricciardi and DePodesta? It appears that the threesome were inspired by superheroes and Saturday morning cartoons. Absurd? Not at all.

The 1970s cartoon, "Super Friends", featured a brother/sister superhero combo, Zan and Jayna, who were also known as The Wonder Twins. They were always accompanied by their pet monkey, Gleek.

The heroes were known for their shapeshifting abilities that they used in their quest for truth, justice and the cheesy '70s way. To use their powers, they would utter the words "form of _______", where whatever form they chose, that would be what they would transform into.


Sandy Alderson initiated the "Moneyball" way of thinking in Oakland and it was Paul DePodesta's statistical analysis that was used by the front office to determine who to draft and who to trade for. When Alderson became the CEO of the San Diego Padres, he made sure to bring DePodesta along for the ride.

Clearly, Alderson and DePodesta have been studying the ways of Zan and Jayna to become the Moneyball Twins. They have been inseparable since the '90s and have found a way to combat the traditional way of thinking in the front office with their extensive analytical procedures. When Alderson exclaimed "form of Paul Bunyan", Mark McGwire appeared. When the on-base percentage-loving DePodesta shouted "from of treadmill", the walking machine appeared in the forms of Jason Giambi and Nick Swisher.

Alderson's pet monkey in those years was J.P. Ricciardi. He assisted him in the front office and was elevated to director of player personnel once Alderson's understudy, Billy Beane became the A's general manager.

Now the Super Mets Friends are members of New York's front office, where they will try to mold a contending team with their powers to shift things around, but they must be careful with how they approach things.

For example, when Alderson hires a new manager, he might choose to say "form of fireball" and Waly Backman will appear. Of course, he must be careful to say that and not "form of firestorm", because then Francisco Rodriguez will show up with his boxing gloves on.

If DePodesta suggests that the Mets will benefit more if their walks go up, he must phrase his "form of _______" carefully or else Oliver Perez might show up.

If Ricciardi says anything...well...he's Gleek, so he's only there as a special assistant to Alderson. Despite his relatively unimportant sounding title, Ricciardi can still contribute to the franchise just like Gleek did to Zan and Jayna. He can be there to clean up any messes left by the Moneyball Twins if they make a decision they thought would help the Mets and ends up backfiring.

Of course, no mistakes should happen at the Hall of Just Us. After all, the Mets now have superheroes in the front office. They will make fans forget that the Legion of Doom (whose members include Chase Utley, Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino and the Roy Boys [Halladay and Oswalt]) is still the four-time defending NL East Champion, won't they?

One thing Alderson and his Merry Men should remember is that Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, et al. are still fighting for justice. Where are the Wonder Twins and Gleek now? Perhaps the Super Mets Friends should have a sense of urgency to make this team better sooner than later. A five-year plan (a la the one Frank Cashen successfully implemented in the early '80s) will not work with this incarnation of the Mets.

The Mets must begin to turn things around now. If not, the Super Mets Friends might be visiting the Wonder Twins and Gleek in limbo soon.

Broken News: Alderson To Become Mets GM

Welcome to the latest edition of Broken News, where other people break the news and we break it some more to the point where forensics experts can't even identify it. In today's edition, we discuss the hiring of Sandy Alderson as the new Mets general manager.

According to numerous tweets, including one by Jon Heyman and one by Joel Sherman, the Mets have notified both Sandy Alderson and Josh Byrnes that a decision has been made and that Alderson is their choice to be their next GM.

Since Major League Baseball generally frowns upon major announcements on days when World Series games are being played, the Mets will more than likely not make this signing official until Friday. The Giants and Rangers have an off day between Games 2 and 3 as the Fall Classic moves to Texas over the weekend.

Alderson brings a decade and a half of GM experience to the Mets, as he was in charge of the Oakland Athletics from 1983-1997. Under his reign, the A's won four division titles and three American League pennants. Oakland won the World Series in 1989, when they swept the San Francisco Giants in the series known more for the devastating earthquake that struck the Bay Area before Game 3.

It was Alderson who introduced sabermetrics into the world of general managing, a system that he passed along to his successor, Billy Beane. By using sabermetrics, both Alderson and Beane were able to put together competitive teams while spending as little money as possible by focusing on statistics that help teams win ballgames, but don't necessarily lead to exorbitant contracts. (One such stat is on-base percentage, as detailed in Michael Lewis' book, "Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game".) It was this cost-effective system that helped Beane become one of the best and most coveted general managers in baseball.

So now Alderson will be on hand to help turn the Mets around from a fourth-place team to a contender. His plate will definitely be full at the start.

From Hisanori Takahashi's soon-to-expire contract to the search for a new manager to the acquisition of a starting pitcher (especially when you consider the uncertain status of incumbent ace Johan Santana), Alderson will have to make many key decisions early on in his tenure as general manager. It will be these decisions that will serve as the seeds for what Mets fans hope are a return to respectability and contention.

A change is in the air, Mets fans. Let's hope Sandy Alderson is the man who will bring it to us.