Showing posts with label Nick Swisher Is A Douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nick Swisher Is A Douche. Show all posts

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Joey's World Tour: Cleveland Rocked

Hi, everyone!  This is your fav'rit world-traveling Studious Metsimus baseball correspondent, Joey Beartran.  While you were waiting for the football season to start, I was visiting Cleveland, Ohio.  I saw the Mets play the Indians, visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and sampled some of Ohio's finest cuisine.

Although my camera crew and I were only in Cleveland for 24 hours, we had a great time in the city by Lake Erie.  The only "Erie" thing about the trip was how Scott Kazmir completely manhandled the Mets' lineup.  Where had THAT been all year?

Anyway, I should stop with my endless chatter and just show you some pictures of our trip.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed bossing my cameraman around.


The day couldn't have been more beautiful for baseball.  The temperature was in the low-to-mid '70s with a light breeze coming off the lake.  Current Mets top prospect Zack Wheeler faced former Mets top prospect Scott Kazmir at Progressive Field.  It was the first time Kazmir faced the Mets since he was traded for Victor Zambrano in 2004.  And although he claimed he had nothing against his old team, he sure didn't pitch like it was any other game.

Kazmir pitched six innings, allowing no runs and striking out a dozen Mets without walking any of them.  It was the first time Kazmir had as many as 12 strikeouts in a game since August 25, 2007, when Kazmir had a 13-K, no-walk performance against the Oakland A's.

Wheeler, on the other hand, did not pitch well.  He allowed five hits and walked five batters in just five innings.  Perhaps it was Daisuke Matsuzaka sitting in the corner that spooked Wheeler into pitching the way he did.

Photo by Ed Leyro/Studious Metsimus

Although the game stayed close throughout, a late grand slam by the always annoying Nick Swisher turned the game into a blowout, causing my sister (Iggy Beartran) and I to drown our sorrows in hot dogs.

But what hot dogs they were!  We had our choice of $1 hot dogs (limit six per customer - six wouldn't have been enough to satisfy us after Swisher styled his way around the bases) or hot dogs with a choice of unique toppings, courtesy of the Food Network.  Since we're foodies ourselves, you can imagine which wiener was the winner for us.

Bacon, baked beans and bears.  Beautiful.

Our thick and juicy hot dog was loaded with baked beans and huge pieces of bacon.  The frankfurter also came with a large side of kettle chips.  It was quite delicious!

The Mets lost the game, 8-1, but at least we got to enjoy a gastronomical extravaganza.  We also got to see Heritage Park, which is located behind the center field area.  In the park are plaques devoted to Indians' Hall of Famers and the 100 greatest players in franchise history.  Those players included Bob Feller, Satchel Paige, Larry Doby, Gaylord Perry and some guy who played for the Mets.  You might remember him.


The only good thing about Carlos Baerga is that his failure allowed the Mets to trade for Robin Ventura, which in turn moved Edgardo Alfonzo from the hot corner to second base, where he became the greatest second baseman in franchise history.

Before I move on to the non-baseball portion of our trip, let me share some more pictures from Progressive Field, featuring several of my Studious Metsimus colleagues.










Besides the trip to Progressive Field, we also made two other stops in Cleveland.  One is quite popular with tourists (like David Wright) while the other is liked by only a very specific group of people (like Daisuke Matsuzaka).

First stop: the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Any lover of music, not just rock music, would enjoy this museum.  It's located on the lakefront and has seven floors.  The top two and a half floors were devoted to the Rolling Stones, who were the featured artists in a special exhibit.  Other exhibits detailed the origins of rock n' roll, hip hop as a form of rock, as well as sections devoted to the Beatles, punk rock and heavy metal, and one floor dedicated to the Hall of Fame inductees.

Although flash photography wasn't allowed in a number of exhibits, my cameraman was able to snap off a few shots, which I am happy to share with you here.















Just before heading back to the airport, we made another pit stop.  My Studious Metsimus colleagues have always been big fans of the film "A Christmas Story".  Although the film was set in Indiana, the house was actually in Cleveland.  That house has been preserved and has its own museum and gift shop.

Unfortunately, we arrived too late to go on an official tour of the house.  (We stopped at Cracker Barrel before going to the house - I like to take my time when I have my good ol' fashioned country breakfast.  Sorry about that.)  However, we did take plenty of photos of the house and visited its gift shop.  Here is the photographic evidence of our side trip.













So that does it for our tour of Cleveland.  To recap, Cleveland rocked.  It rocked at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  It rocked with its Christmas Story house.  And it rocked with its delicious food.

Unfortunately, Cleveland also rocked in a different way, as Cleveland rocked the Mets in the game we attended.

In the past, we've attended games and gone on ballpark tours in Seattle, San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Chicago and various cities all along the Eastern seaboard.  Now we can add Cleveland to our list.  It's just another stop on our never-ending world tour.  Where will we end up next?  I have no clue, but I do know that when we get there, you'll be able to read all about it right here on Studious Metsimus.


For more of Joey's World Tour, please click on the links below, where you will be entertained by Joey's wit, photos and love of ballpark cuisine:

World Tour Stop #1: Baltimore
World Tour Stop #2: Washington, DC
World Tour Stop #3: Pittsburgh
World Tour Stop #4: Texas
World Tour Stop #5: Los Angeles
World Tour Stop #6: San Diego
World Tour Stop #7: Toronto
World Tour Stop #8: Chicago
World Tour Stop #9: Milwaukee
World Tour Stop #10: Seattle

Monday, February 11, 2013

Bourn To Run (In Cleveland)

Maybe Justin Turner can play the outfield at Citi Field now that Michael Bourn will not.

It looks like the Mets will be keeping their 11th pick in the 2013 amateur draft after all.  Reports are flooding Twitter that former Braves outfielder Michael Bourn has agreed to a four-year, $48 million deal with the Cleveland Indians.  The deal includes a vesting option that could make the deal worth $60 million over five years.

Cleveland has been very active recently signing reclamation projects.  They have added Brett Myers, Daisuke Matsuzaka and Jason Giambi over the past few days, to name a few.  But Bourn is far from being a reclamation project.  Bourn will join new acquisition Nick Swisher in the outfield to give the Indians a nice blend of power, speed and douchiness.

The Mets will now be left with David Wright as the team's main speed threat and no outfielders with any significant major league experience.  But at least they got rid of Jason Bay, eh?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Real Reason Why The Yankees Want Scott Hairston

Everyone is leaving the Yankees these days.  Whether it's a free agent departure (Eric Chavez), a convenient injury that explains a Jason Bay-like slump in the postseason (Alex Rodriguez) or because douches have to replaced every once in a while (Nick Swisher), the once-mighty Yankee offense is a little less mighty these days.

The team with 27 rings and no soul has been looking for a bat or three this offseason, and one player they've been considering is Mets outfielder Scott Hairston.

Hairston, who prior to this season was known to baseball fans only as the guy who has a hot chick's ass on his Wikipedia page, finished the 2012 campaign with 20 HR and 57 RBI for the Mets.  Hairston was an extra-base hit machine for the Mets, collecting 25 doubles and three triples in addition to his 20 homers, doing all this in only 377 at-bats.  He became the first player in Mets history to reach 20 doubles and 20 homers in so few at-bats.

And Hairston also did one more thing, which was so eloquently tweeted by yours truly back in October:



Despite that revealing tweet, that's not the real reason why the Yankees have been coveting Scott Hairston.  The real reason is because they miss a certain someone.  That someone was responsible for leading the team to four championships, including one that we won't mention because it was clinched at Shea Stadium against the Mets.

Since that someone left town after the 2007 season, the Yankees have won one championship in five years, but that one was okay because it was over the hated Phillies in 2009.  In the other four seasons, they failed to make the playoffs (2008), were bounced in the ALCS by a team that had never advanced to a World Series (Texas - 2010), were dealt with quickly in the ALDS (Detroit - 2011) and left their bats at home in an ALCS sweep (Detroit - 2012).

Am I saying that the Yankees miss their old manager, Joe Torre?  Well, if they can't get Torre to come back, then why are they looking for someone who looks eerily like him?


The Yankees are not the same team they used to be, with hitters leaving the team via free agency rather than coming to New York in similar fashion.  Clearly, they need up an offensive upgrade and a less expensive one at that.  That's why they say they're targeting Scott Hairston.  But we know the real reason why they want the power-hitting outfielder.

If the Yankees can't get Joe Torre to come back to manage the team, then they'll just have to settle for his less hirsute doppelganger as a consolation prize.  After all, they did it before when they tried to sign a douche and settled for Nick Swisher, right?