Showing posts with label Scott Atchison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scott Atchison. Show all posts

Friday, December 30, 2016

Studious Metsimus Presents The Happy/Crappy Recap For 2016

We've reached that time of year, Mets fans.  No, I'm not talking about the time when teams overpay for a .230 hitter because his lifetime WAR is higher than his team owner's IQ.  It's time for this year's Happy/Crappy recap, where I share what made Mets fans incredibly happy but also save space for what was indelibly crappy.

When the 2016 season began, the Mets were the defending National League champions.  When the season ended, the team the Mets beat in 2015 to earn the title of N.L. champs became World Series champions for the first time since Scott Atchison read the story of Rip Van Winkle in study hall.

The Mets got to see the Cubs win it all from the comforts of their own homes because they couldn't knock off the Washington Nationals for the division title and had to settle for a do-or-die wild card game against postseason pitching extraordinaire Madison Bumgarner.  Or in other words, a loss.

But the Mets gave us plenty to hope for in the near future.  They got everyone hurt in 2016 so that only half of those players will be injured in 2017.  (I mean, Ray Ramirez can't kill them all again, right?)  They held Daniel Murphy to no home runs against them in six September games between the Mets and Nationals.  (Never mind that Murphy failed to go deep against everyone in September; that's not important right now!)  And most importantly, they allowed Eric Campbell to export his .173 batting average to Japan, where he will most likely become this generation's version of Tuffy Rhodes.

But in all seriousness, the Mets are built to remain contenders for longer than anyone thought they would be when Sandy Alderson and Terry Collins first came on the scene in 2011.  And after six years of 70-something wins per season, the Mets are poised to be far more happy than crappy well into the next decade.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for the 2016 Happy/Crappy recap.


Just like they did in 2015, the Mets got off to a quick start in 2016.  By mid-May, New York had a 21-12 record and was in first place in the NL East.  The pitching staff was once again responsible for the team's early success, allowing three runs or fewer in 24 of the first 33 games.  But the most important pitcher in the first few months of the season wasn't a starter.  Rather, it was closer Jeurys Familia, who for most of the season was on pace to break the all-time National League single-season saves record.  He finished four saves short of the N.L. mark held by Eric Gagne and Hall of Famer John Smoltz but still set a franchise record by recording 51 saves.

The new double play combo of Neil Walker and Asdrubal Cabrera was solid in the field and absolutely spectacular at the plate.  Even Cabrera's 0-for-34 stretch with runners in scoring position couldn't take away from how valuable an acquisition he was.  The new second baseman and shortstop became the first double play duo in team history to each reach 20 homers and produce an OPS over .800.  (Walker had an .823 OPS, while Cabrera's was .810; both players smacked 23 HR.)  And that's with Walker and Cabrera each spending time on the disabled list and combining to miss 70 games.  The Mets retained the services of the two steady middle infielders to ensure more pop and circumstance in 2017.

After no one thought the Mets could do it, they signed Yoenis Céspedes not once, but twice in 2016.  The first time, they allowed him to opt out of his three-year, $75 million deal after the first season was complete, which he did.  The second time, he re-signed with the team for four years and $110 million.  And this time, he's not going anywhere after year one is done.  Céspedes led the Mets in home runs, RBI, on-base percentage, slugging percentage, OPS, parakeets, horses, spring training vehicles, Lion King tributes, ... You name it, he led in it.  And he'll be trying to do the same through the 2020 campaign.

'Member Wilmer Flores?  He didn't cry on the field this year, but he did start to hit right-handed pitching better.  And even though he had 175 fewer plate appearances this year compared to his 2015 folk hero campaign, Flores still put up 16 HR and 49 RBI.  How rare is that production for a Mets player with fewer than 350 plate appearances?  Flores became just the fifth Met in club history with that many home runs in a sub-350 PA season and the fourth with that many RBI.  And to think he just turned 25 and posted career highs with a .788 OPS and 108 OPS+.  Before too long, people might totally forget about his obsession with the show "Friends" and will only remember him for being a fine hitter who makes excellent contact (165 strikeouts in 1,220 career plate appearances).

Last, but certainly not least is the legend of Noah Syndergaard, which went off the charts in 2016.  From his bromance with Yoenis Céspedes and Bartolo Colón to his hilarious Twitter account to sticking a microphone up Steve Gelbs' nose, Thor became a fan-favorite both on and off the field.  The 14-9 record, 2.60 ERA, 218 strikeouts and three homers as a batter were pretty cool, too.  As was his memorable effort against that Bum in the wild card game.  All from a guy who hadn't been born when Nirvana was at its peak.  Mets fans hope Thor can lead the team to baseball nirvana in the near future.

Noah Syndergaard clearly wanted to hear if Steve Gelbs was breathing heavily.  (SNY screen shot)

Not all was happy in the last season for the Mets.  In fact, some of the happy is intertwined with the crappy.  Time to unroll the orange and blue toilet paper and share what was crappy with 2016.


Once again, a quick start was followed by a mid-summer dry spell, especially with a lethargic offense that counted on players like James Loney, Alejandro De Aza and others of that ilk.  From May 12 to July 30, the Mets scored two runs or fewer in 35 of 70 games.  For all you kids out there, that's half the time not scoring more than a couple of runs.  That's not going to win a lot of ballgames.  (That would also explain why, by August 19, the Mets had gone 39-50 over their last 89 games to go from nine games over .500 to two games under.)

What happened to the vaunted starting rotation?  Matt Harvey went 4-10 with an ERA approaching 5.00 and a WHIP just under 1.50.  That's almost Mike Pelfrey in 2009 territory (Big Pelf had a 5.03 ERA and 1.51 WHIP in that sad, sad season).  And Jacob deGrom never found his fastball.  He must have left it wherever he left his winning record, as he went 7-8 with a career-high ERA and WHIP.  Let's not even talk about Steven Matz, who couldn't lose early on, then couldn't even get his grandpa to jump out of his seat during an 11-start stretch in which he posted a Harvey-esque 4.81 ERA and allowed opposing hitters to slash .303/.353/.472 against him.  The most consistent starter other than Syndergaard was Bartolo Colón, and now he's an Atlanta Brave.  Let's hope Zack Wheeler's unexpected two-year vacation has him ready to replace Big Sexy on the big stage.

As of this writing, the Mets still have Jay Bruce on their payroll.  He is a lefty-swinging outfielder with power.  They also have Curtis Granderson.  He also swings from the left side and patrols the outfield.  And you may have heard of this Michael Conforto guy.  Guess which side of the plate is his favorite and where he plays on the field?  Here's another thing about those guys.  They make outs.  Lots of them.  In fact, Granderson's .237 batting average was the highest among the three, with Conforto batting .220 and a late-season hot streak propelling Bruce all the way up to .219.  But hey, at least Granderson can draw a walk, and walks put fannies in the seats, right?

Jeurys Familia did a bad thing this off-season.  Something that was even worse than allowing that home run to Conor Gillaspie in the wild card game.  And because he couldn't control his temper off the field, he'll have to stay away from the field for a significant portion of the early 2017 campaign.  So either the Mets will have to score a ton of runs in April and early May or they'll have to depend on people not named Jeurys Familia to hold a slim lead when the starters are taken out of the game.  I hope the Mets paid their phone bill, because that bullpen phone is going to get quite a workout early on in 2017.

Finally, how does Ray Ramirez still have a job?  Sometimes it seems as if he spends more time on the field than the players do.  The disabled list welcomed a ton of Mets players in 2016, which has been par for the course since Ramirez became the head trainer.  Having him as the head trainer has become a head scratcher for most Mets fans.  Just don't scratch too hard while pondering why the players never seem to come back after injuries that began as day-to-day aches and pains turn into season-long nightmares.  Your head might end up in a walking boot if Ramirez finds out.



That's all she wrote, Mets fans.  You've just read what was happy and crappy about the 2016 season just in time to start thinking about what could possibly go wrong (and right) in 2017.  Can the 2017 top the two-season run the Mets have been on?  Will the offense finally hit in June?  And how will Noah Syndergaard antagonize Steve Gelbs next?

The answers will all be here in the coming year, as brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Studious Metsimus staff.  And if for some reason, the staff is on vacation or at an all-you-can-eat buffet when breaking Mets news hits, you can be sure that other members of the blogosphere - those who don't take vacations or eat - will be there to fill you in.  Blogs such as A Gal For All Seasons, Faith and Fear in Flushing, Mets Merized Online, MetsMinors.Net, Amazin' Avenue, Metstradamus, Remembering Shea, The Daily Stache, Mets360, Rising Apple, Mets Plus, Mets Police, MetSilverman, Converted Mets Fan and Mets Daddy, just to name a few (or 15, to be exact) always have compelling stories to share, day or night.  Check them out some time.  I'd say "tell 'em Ed sent you" but I'm not sure they all know who I am.

From all of us here at Studious Metsimus headquarters (which is basically just a desk that's equidistant from the kitchen and the bathroom), we'd like to wish you and yours a happy New Year.  And by "we", that's yours truly (Ed Leyro), our roving reporter/culinary expert (Joey Beartran) and queen of all social media (Taryn "The Coop" Cooper).

And remember, Mets fans, it's not how you play the game, it's how you managed to stay on the field when your head trainer is Ray Ramirez.

Thanks so much for your support!

The Studious Metsimus staff raises a glass to our readers!  (That guy on the top right needs to shave.)



Thursday, November 24, 2016

A Joey and Iggy Beartran Thanksgiving (2016)

We missed the start of the parade because Mother Nature called.  After all, that's what bears do in the woods.

Greetings and salutations, Mets fans!  We're Joey and Iggy Beartran and today is our favorite holiday of the year - Thanksgiving!  While most people are thankful for their health, their families and whatnot, we're mostly thankful that this is the one day of the year we get to eat anything and everything we want, especially turkey!  Oh, and we're also thankful that we're one day closer to the beginning of the next baseball season.  That's also kind of important to us.

The Mets gave their fans so many things to be thankful for since the last time Thanksgiving came around.  They gave us a full season of Yoenis Céspedes.  They gave us Noah Syndergaard and his Amazin' social media skills.  (He also has a pretty decent fastball.)  They gave us Bartolo Colón's home run.  And they also provided us with a second consecutive postseason appearance.

All Mets fans can be appreciative of those things.  But what are Iggy and I most thankful for this year?  And what will make us feel better about the upcoming 2017 season?  We have all the answers right here.  All you have to do is sit back and relax.  But don't relax too much!  You don't want to end up looking like Keith Hernandez during a day game after a night of barhopping in Sag Harbor.



Video courtesy of YouTube user watchablethings


Joey:  I'm thankful Iggy and I got to enjoy several baseball road trips together, as we visited Denver, Detroit and Cooperstown for the first time.  And even though I didn't get to meet Steve Gelbs in Detroit, that trip to Comerica Park set off a chain of events that eventually led to our first meet-and-greet at Citi Field.

Iggy:  I'm thankful we never have to go to Detroit again.  Going there was like getting in line at Citi Field's Shake Shack, missing three innings of the game and then being told they're sold out of Shackburgers.  In other words, it was a total waste of time.  (And it didn't help that the Mets lost every road game we attended.)

Meeting Steve Gelbs was one of our off-the-field highlights of the season.

Joey:  I'm thankful that we got to see Mike Piazza go into the Hall of Fame wearing a Mets cap on his plaque.  He was one of the best players to ever play for the team and I'm glad he got to share the day in Cooperstown with another of the game's all-time greats, Ken Griffey Jr.

Iggy:  I'm thankful I didn't get in this picture with Joey at Cooperstown.  The last thing I would want is for two guys from the 1969 World Champion Mets to laugh at me while I was posing in front of them.

Do I amuse you?  Apparently, I amused the good fellas behind me.

Joey:  I'm thankful we were able to spend the past three seasons marveling at the work of art that is Bartolo Colón.  He was a gem to watch on the mound and at the plate.  And he's also an inspiration to those of us who consider the act of eating to be as much of a national pastime as baseball has been throughout the years.

Iggy:  I'm thankful I bought Bartolo Colón's workout video.  It really helped me become more flexible while burning off those extra calories we consumed last Thanksgiving and throughout the baseball season.

We'll certainly miss this world class athlete.

Joey:  Finally, I'm thankful the Mets are going to make a push for an unprecedented third straight playoff appearance in 2017.  With Matt Harvey, Steven Matz and Zack Wheeler hopefully back at or near full strength, and the continued improvement of Jacob deGrom and Noah Syndergaard, the pitching should overcome whatever the Mets lose in offense this off-season.  And if Yoenis Céspedes ends up signing that long-term deal to remain in New York, we'll have a whole lot more to be thankful for.

Iggy:  And I'm thankful we each only have four things to be thankful for.  Our Thanksgiving feast has been sitting around since the days of the dinosaurs.  Let's eat!

Is that you, Scott Atchison?

So that's what we're thankful for this Thanksgiving.  Hopefully, you'll have many things to be thankful for as well.  Which reminds us, we're also thankful that even though you could be watching NFL football right now or perhaps picking away at the turkey on the dinner table like a 21st century version of the Old Man from "A Christmas Story", you chose to take the time to read our annual Thanksgiving Day post.  Hey, it's the least you could do after not inviting us over to share in your turkey day feast!

From our family to yours, we'd like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving and may all your wishes for the upcoming baseball season come true, as long as those wishes all involve the Mets winning a World Series and Bryce Harper playing golf in October.  Ya gotta believe!

LET'S GO METS!!


When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.  We're greedy, so wished upon two of them.



Friday, November 11, 2016

Colón Blows Off Mets to Become Part of Braves' Quadragenarian Effort



Bartolo Colón will be taking his big sexiness down south for the 2017 season.  According to multiple reports, the fan-favorite former Met has signed a one-year deal worth $12.5 million to pitch for the Atlanta Braves.

This comes just a day after the Braves signed another 40-something one-time Met in R.A. Dickey, giving Atlanta the two oldest pitchers in baseball.  (The only non-pitcher older than Dickey is Ichiro Suzuki.)

The two signings also give hope to pitchers such as Scott Atchison (Atchison spent the 2016 season as a Cleveland Indians' advanced coach and staff assistant) that they can still play for a major league team, although in all honesty, Atchison may be out of the Braves' age range.

With Atlanta opening up its new ballpark next season, perhaps they're looking to put fannies in the seats with a bunch of quadragenarian players, especially now that soon-to-be 40-year-old catcher A.J. Pierzynski has retired.  But why stop there?  Why not bring back 58-year-old utility man Julio Franco, who in 5½ seasons with the Braves (2001-05, second half of 2007) put up an incredible .291/.363/.424 slash line in nearly 1,400 plate appearances - all while he was in his mid-to-late 40s.  Or better yet, how about franchise legend Phil Niekro?  He'll be 78 by Opening Day, but he's a knuckleballer, and you know that knucklers can pitch much later in life than their hard-throwing brethren can.  Plus, it would give Dickey a close friend on the team.

But in all seriousness, there was no way Sandy Alderson was going to commit $12.5 million to Colón in his age-44 season when he didn't give that to him in any of Colón's three seasons with the Mets.  As good and as entertaining as Colón was as a Met from 2014 to 2016, the Mets needed to pay him less than that amount if they wanted to keep players such as Yoenis Céspedes around.

The emergence of Seth Lugo and Robert Gsellman has given the Mets hope, albeit in a small sample size, that they still have some kind of depth in the starting pitcher department in the event that the Fab Five of Matt Harvey, Jacob deGrom, Noah Syndergaard, Steven Matz and Zack Wheeler never materializes because of their constant injury issues.

If the Mets use the money they would have given to Colón to sweeten the pot for Céspedes and he ends up re-signing with the team, then great.  We'll miss Bart, but we'd have missed Yo more.  If one or all of the starting five miss a significant part of the season, then oops, the Mets will have crapped their pants; Colón blowing off the team for the money in Atlanta will come back to haunt New York.

The Mets begin the 2017 season at Citi Field next year.  Their opponent will be the Atlanta Braves.  More than likely, the Opening Day starter for the Braves will be Met-killer Julio Teheran.  But don't be surprised if Bartolo Colón and R.A. Dickey start the other two games of the series.  And you also shouldn't be surprised if the fans give both pitchers the same kind of welcome that Mike Piazza received when he returned to Flushing for the first time as a former Met in 2006.

I just hope both pitchers don't become Met-killers themselves, regardless of their Atchisonian age.

I have faith that the Mets will not make these SNL references come true.  Ya gotta believe, right?

Sunday, March 29, 2015

A Very Special Scott Atchison Birthday Post

Scott Atchison is ready for his Geritol break.

Last year, the good folks at The Daily Stache produced a plethora of laughs with the site's daily #MetsTwitterRecap posts.  The concept was simple.  Take the best tweets from Mets fans about that day's game and string them together to give the readers a unique recap that didn't try to be politically correct and was occasionally NSFW.

The unoriginal folks at Studious Metsimus (that would be me) have decided to celebrate those posts while celebrating something else.  You see, today is the 39th birthday of one-time Mets pitcher and current Cleveland Indians reliever Scott Atchison, a man who looks old enough to be his own father.

And it's because of the "old man" jokes that Atchison is most remembered by Mets fans, Indians fans, even Mariners fans who remember that Atchison made his major league debut with Seattle.  (That would be the Seattle Mariners, not the Seattle Pilots.)

In honor of Rip Van Winkle's birthday, we've taken the best tweets from fans and put them together to show our favorite birthday boy just how appreciative we are that he's been with us for all these centuries.  Thanks again to the Daily Stache for inspiring this piece and to Scott Atchison for being the Abe Vigoda of the baseball world.  Enjoy!



Saturday, August 10, 2013

Some Trivia About Mets Walk-off Losses

On Friday night, the Mets dropped the opener of their four-city, 11-game road trip, losing to the Arizona Diamondbacks, 5-4.  They were defeated when MVP candidate Paul Goldschmidt hit the schmidt out of a Scott Atchison offering, leading the Diamondbacks to the walk-off win.

Walk-offs are nothing new against the Mets.  Friday night's defeat was the Mets' tenth walk-off loss of the season and the 421st against the team in franchise history, which includes three postseason walk-off losses.  (For the record, the Mets have won 387 regular season and postseason games via the walk-off, including eight such wins in 2013.)

Game-ending hits, walks, errors, wild pitchers, balks, etc. are common against the Mets, but I'm willing to wager a Scott Atchison autographed sundial (he still uses them to tell time) that you don't know everything there is to know about walk-off losses against the Mets.  So sit back, pop open a Rheingold, and enjoy a little bit of Mets trivia - Studious Metsimus-style - on those dang blasted walk-off losses.

Another day, another walk-off loss.  (Photo by Matt York/AP)

The Mets' first walk-off loss occurred on May 26, 1962, when Willie Mays took Jay Hook deep at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, turning a 6-5 Mets lead into a 7-6, ten-inning defeat.  However, by that time, the Mets had already experienced four walk-off victories, all of which came in a span of five days between May 12 and May 16.  Of course, by the next time the Mets won a game via the walk-off on July 7, 1962, the team had dropped five more games in this fashion.

The most walk-off losses registered by the Mets in a single season is 14, first accomplished by the 1974 Mets and then matched by the 1978 squad.  The fewest regular season walk-off losses in a single year is one, accomplished by the 1999 Mets (Armando Benitez allowed a game-ending homer to the Marlins' Mark Kotsay on June 30, 1999).  Unfortunately, the Mets' season ended that year on a walk-off walk by Kenny Rogers to Andruw Jones in Game 6 of the National League Championship Series.

Many players have delivered game-ending hits (or other type plays) against the Mets over the years.  Several players have been a triple threat, beating the Mets three times via the walk-off.  Those players include Hall of Famers (Andre Dawson, Tony Gwynn, Tony Perez), former All-Stars (Dusty Baker, Cesar Cedeño, Ron Cey, Jim Davenport, Jim Edmonds, Dale Murphy), several active players (Dan Uggla, Ryan Zimmerman), a journeyman slugger (Bob Bailey), a former Rookie of the Year (Jerome Walton) and two guys named Manny (Manny Mota, Manny Trillo).  But only one player has delivered four walk-off hits against the Mets in team history.  That would be one Michael Jack Schmidt, who hit walk-off homers to defeat the Mets in 1974, 1975 and 1978, then kept it in the park for a game-ending RBI single against Roger McDowell in 1987.

Of their 418 regular season and three postseason walk-off losses, the most common way the Mets have lost via the walk-off has been on a single (194 losses).  That's followed by home runs (123, including ten grand slams), doubles (23), errors (21), walks (17) and sacrifice flies (17).  The Mets have also been victims of the walk-off loss through uncommon plays.  They've lost three games on walk-off balks and have been witnesses to two game-ending triples.  But the Mets have suffered only one walk-off loss because of a passed ball.  That occurred on July 27, 1967, when Tommie Reynolds could not handle a pitch by Jack Fisher, allowing Nate Oliver to score the winning run for the Dodgers in the bottom of the 11th.  Although Reynolds played for four teams from 1963 to 1972 (including 101 games for the Mets in 1967), it was his first and last appearance behind the plate in a big league game.

What don't you see in this photo of Tommie Reynolds?  Catching equipment.  That's because he wasn't a catcher.

Including last night's affair, the Mets have now lost 123 times on a game-ending home run.  Two pitchers share the team record for most walk-off homers surrendered, as both Jesse Orosco and Randy Myers allowed six game-ending home runs during their time with the Mets.  But Myers is alone when it comes to walk-off homers allowed in a single season.  In 1989, Myers gave up four such blasts, as he watched Rey Quiñones, Von Hayes, Mark Grace and Chris James circle the bases into the arms of smiling teammates.  Although he only pitched three full seasons in New York (he had cups of coffee with the Mets in 1985 and 1986), Myers was on the mound for ten walk-off losses, making it more palatable for the Mets to trade him to the Cincinnati Reds for John Franco (more on him later).  But those ten walk-off losses are not the most in Mets history.  In fact, they were eight short of the record at the time.

Neil Allen pitched for the Mets from 1979 until he was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals for Keith Hernandez on June 15, 1983.  In his four-plus seasons with the Mets, Allen was victimized by the walk-off an incredible 18 times.  In 1980 alone, Allen walked off the mound six times while the opposing team celebrated their late victory.  Changing uniforms in 1983 did nothing to change Allen's penchant for the late-inning loss.  In the two seasons following the trade from the Mets to the Cardinals, Allen watched the Mets celebrate four walk-off victories against him, with the most memorable coming on Opening Day 1985, when Gary Carter took him deep in his first game as a Met.

Allen is no longer the team record-holder when it comes to being on the mound while the opponent is walking off with a win.  That distinction belongs to John Franco, who witnessed 25 walk-off celebrations from a distance of 60 feet, six inches.  Two players walked off against Franco twice.

Glenallen Hill hit a two-run homer off Franco on September 5, 1993 to give the Cubs a 2-1 victory over the Mets.  Hill then hit another game-ending homer off the longtime Met nearly two years later, giving the Giants a 6-5 win on September 1, 1995.

Steve Finley is the only other player to be at the plate against John Franco when Franco delivered the pitch that gave the opponent a victory.  However, one of those two walk-offs was made possible by an untimely error.  On September 7, 1993, just two days after he watched Glenallen Hill hit a game-ending two-run homer against him, Franco was on the mound for another walk-off celebration, although this one was created by poor defense.  A gaffe by Jeff Kent on a ball hit by Finley allowed the winning run to score in a 4-3, 10-inning loss to the Astros.  Nearly ten years later, Finley victimized Franco again, but this time the blame was all on Franco's shoulders.  On August 9, 2003, Finley became the first Diamondback to hit a walk-off home run against the Mets, connecting on a solo blast in the bottom of the ninth inning to give Arizona a 2-1 victory.

Steve Finley might have walked off against the Mets twice, but he couldn't prevent this walk-off from happening.

And that brings us back to last night and Paul Goldschmidt's game-ending homer.  Goldschmidt's bomb came on the ten-year anniversary of Finley's homer.  Those two homers are also the only times the Diamondbacks have defeated the Mets with a walk-off homer.  The only other time Arizona walked off with a victory against New York was on July 21, 2010, when Chris Snyder delivered an RBI single off Fernando Nieve to end a 14-inning marathon in the desert.

The Mets have lost thousands of games over their 50-plus years of existence.  But there is nothing more heartbreaking than a walk-off loss.  And the Mets have had their share of those.  Whether it be on a game-ending homer or a passed ball by a catcher who had never played the position before, it never gets easier to watch a team you don't root for celebrating a late victory against the team you do.  That's just baseball for you.

I hope you enjoyed this piece on game-ending trivia and related minutia.  By reading it, you will no longer be at a loss when you walk off to tell your friends about it.
 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

DJ Joey B Presents: A Scott Atchison Top Ten List

What's up, Mets fans?  It's time for our latest countdown.  Today, I'm spinning a special playlist for you.  You see, everyone's favorite AARP member, Scott Atchison, has been placed on the disabled list with bone spurs in his elbow.  He has been replaced on the active roster by Collin McHugh, a pitcher young enough to be his son. 

That's what the Mets want you to believe.  But this DJ knows better.

It's no secret that Scott Atchison has not been pitching well this year.  And after I reveal my special top ten list, it'll also be no secret what the real reasons are for the Mets reserving a room for Captain Graybeard at the DL Hotel.  Let's boogie!


Top Ten Reasons Why Scott Atchison Was Really Replaced On The 25-Man Roster:


10.  Julio Franco was upset that Atchison was about to pass him as the oldest player to ever don a Mets uniform.

9.  The Mets were afraid that the Geritol in Atchison’s locker would cause him to test positive for PEDs.

8.  Shaun Marcum felt uncomfortable that reporters were mistakenly calling him Scott Atchison.


"Hello, SNY viewers.  Please don't call me Scott Atchison.  I'm Shaun Marcum."

7.  There was no money in the budget for a Scooter to transport Atchison from the bullpen to the mound.

6.  Justin Turner was afraid he’d knock out Atchison’s dentures if Atchison ever did anything pie-worthy.

5.  Fred Wilpon found out that Atchison was the one stealing signs at the Polo Grounds when Bobby Thomson hit the Shot Heard ‘Round The World to take the pennant from his beloved Brooklyn Dodgers.

4.  When Jay Horwitz butt-dialed Scott Atchison, Atchison responded by saying he didn’t accept collect calls.


Scott Atchison doesn't accept collect calls?  He is a pitied fool.

3.  The Mets did not want turmoil in the clubhouse after Matt Harvey took offense to Atchison calling him a young whippersnapper.

2.  Atchison was taking up too much space on team flights by insisting on carrying his Betamax and 8-track tape players on every road trip. 



… and the No. 1 reason why Scott Atchison was really replaced on the 25-man roster is …



1.  Betty White kept calling the clubhouse asking when Atchison was getting off work. 


 "Scott!  Oh, Scott!  Don't you walk away from me!  I can hear your creaking joints all the way over here!"