Sunday, April 23, 2017

Mets Song Parody: Everybody's Hurt

If you were a Mets fan in 1992 and 1993, then you were a follower of "The Worst Team Money Could Buy" and the only triple-digit loss Mets team in the last half century.  If you were an alternative music fan in 1992 and 1993, then you probably stayed up to watch Kennedy host Alternative Nation on MTV.  That also means you were familiar with R.E.M. and their album, "Automatic For The People".

Before the band asked Kenneth for the frequency and after they lost their religion, R.E.M. released a single called "Everybody Hurts".  The accompanying music video depicted motorists in a traffic jam, alone with their thoughts until they decided to walk away from a situation that wasn't going anywhere.

The 2017 Mets have started slowly.  Unlike the last two seasons, when the Mets rolled off long winning streaks in April, this year's model is already 4½ games behind the first-place Nationals and struggling just to make it back to .500,  That's not the team's only struggle, as the team is being forced to deal with every injury known to mankind.

A quarter century ago, people walked away from a traffic jam as a popular R.E.M. song was playing in the background.  Today, no one's walking away without a walking boot attached to whichever body part is ailing them.  That's because on the 2017 Mets, everybody's hurt.  And not even a song parody is going to get them back on the field.  If only it could, though.  If only it could...

Mets fans will never be shiny, happy people as long as Ray Ramirez is the team's head trainer.  (SNY screen shot)

When your season's long
And the Nats, the Nats are in first alone
When injuries just pile up
And the limbs won't hang on

Don't let yourself go
Or your career will die
Everybody's hurt ... all the time

Sometimes a muscle isn't strong
And your D.L. stint is long
When your hamstring feels blown (you're gone, you're gone)
Ray Ramirez makes himself known (you're gone)
If you think you've felt his touch
Or his scythe, then you're gone 

Everybody's hurt
Discomfort never ends
Everybody's hurt

Don't cut your hand, oh no
Don't cut your hand
If you see protruding bones
No, no, no, your year's postponed

If you ache and moan, here's advice
The trainer's got to go
When you've torn your rotator cuff, and he tries
To splint your toe

Yeah, everybody's hurt all the time
Every career dies
Everybody's hurt ... all the time
Yeah, everybody's hurt

You're gone, you're gone, you're gone, you're gone...
Everybody's hurt...


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