Joey's Soapbox: My 2017 Not-At-All Biased World Series Pick

Pardon me for being a little distracted.  The Astros are trying to bribe me with food.

What's going on, everyone?  It's me, Joey Beartran.  After nearly a month of watching several opening acts, the band we came to see is finally taking the stage, as the Houston Astros and Los Angeles Dodgers will face off in this year's World Series.

As a Mets fan, I'm pleased that the Astros took care of business and got to the good part, eliminating the Yankees in the ALCS.  Of course, with Houston reaching the World Series, that means Carlos Beltran will once again be trying to win his first ring.  (YAY!)  But since he and his teammates are facing the Dodgers, that means Chase Utley is still playing, and that's never something to root for.  (BOO!)

But as you know, my postseason predictions are never biased.  Not at all.  Therefore, when I picked the Astros to win the ALCS, it was because I thought they were a better team than the Yankees (and I was right).  I also chose the Cubs to go back to the World Series because I assumed the Dodgers didn't have what it took to dethrone them (and I was wrong).

And now, I have the difficult decision of trying to figure out if I want the World Series champion to be the team that employs Carlos Beltran, is in search of its first championship and is a lot of fun to watch.  Or will I go with the team that still gives Mets fans nightmares when they think of 1988, is currently paying Utley's salary and kept head cheerleader Curtis Granderson off its World Series roster?

I'm going to be totally professional with this pick.  Just like annoying and predictable Yankee fans and their team's rings, you can count on it!


World Series


Houston Astros vs. Los Angeles Dodgers

In September 2010, the Philadelphia Phillies were on their way to a fourth consecutive N.L. East crown.  The Mets, meanwhile, were just playing out the schedule and trying to avoid having their division rivals clinch that title against them.

(Slocum/AP)

In the series opener, Ruben Tejada was upended at second base by Chase Utley, who slid hard and late into the neophyte.  Carlos Beltran, Tejada's teammate at the time, took exception to Utley's act and decided to go eye-for-an-eye, leg-for-a-leg the following day.  After the game, the normally soft-spoken Beltran shared his feelings on what Utley did and his attempt at payback.

"The way Chase Utley slid into second base, I felt like it was time for me to do the same thing he did - slide hard and try to hit somebody," Beltran said.  "He did cross the line.  Not only in that play, he has done things in the past, like blocking bases.  It's okay to play hard.  It's okay to get outs.  Once you try to hurt somebody, that's not fun."

Fast forward five years to 2015.  Beltran is long gone, having played for the Giants, Cardinals and Yankees since his close encounter of the turd kind.  (And by turd, I mean Utley.)  Meanwhile, Utley is now a Dodger and Tejada is still playing the middle infield for the Mets.  The two got reacquainted in October when Los Angeles and New York hooked up in the NLDS.  And five years didn't change Utley's penchant for ordering take out at second base.

As all Mets fans know, Utley broke Tejada's leg with a slide that was harder and more deliberate than the original 2010 model.  Beltran could only watch on television, as his Yankees were eliminated by the Houston Astros in that year's American League wild card game.

Now, Beltran is a member of the Astros, Utley is reading the latest Dodger Blue edition of "How to Get Away With Murdering a Middle Infielder" and Tejada is playing Musical Teams, having played for the Cardinals, Giants, Yankees and Orioles organizations in the two years since his leg fracture.  I wonder which player Tejada is rooting for in this year's World Series...

Seven years after Beltran defended his former Mets teammate and two years after he couldn't do a thing to help his fallen friend, Beltran can finally get the ultimate payback by denying Utley the World Series ring that has eluded Beltran for his entire 20-year career.  And you better believe he's going to go all out to get that ring, even if he has to take out Utley to get it.

Oh, I was supposed to pick a World Series winner, wasn't I?  And it was supposed to be my unbiased opinion as a professional prognosticator, right?  Okay, I can do that.

Houston will find a way to solve Justin Turner and his Dodger colleagues.  The Astros' mostly right-handed hitting lineup will tee off on southpaw Clayton Kershaw, also known as the guy with the most postseason losses in Dodgers history.  Yasiel Puig will go home without flipping his bat once, unless you want to count throwing the bat away in disgust after each time Dallas Keuchel and Justin Verlander strike him out.  Jose Altuve will be the World Series MVP.  And Carlos Beltran will come off the bench to deliver a key double, one that will require a slide into second base.  The Dodgers better hope Logan Forsythe is starting at second base that night instead of their other second sacker.

Take my unbiased opinion and shove it, Chase Utley.

Prediction: Astros in 7.

Like a knee to the face, the Astros will make things uncomfortable for the Dodgers.  (Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)