Thursday, January 21, 2010

If The Mets Don't Sign Ben Sheets, Studious Metsimus Knows Why

On Tuesday, free-agent pitcher Ben Sheets showcased himself for a number of teams, including the Mets, who are interested in his services for the 2010 season. In his workout session, Sheets threw 20 fastballs to show his potential suitors that his velocity had returned. His fastest pitch was timed at 91 MPH.

Although Sheets missed the entire 2009 season because of elbow surgery, he has shown that he is a top-notch pitcher when healthy.

Since his breakout season for the Brewers in 2004, Sheets has compiled a 53-44 record, with a stellar 3.24 ERA and a 1.09 WHIP.

In 2009, Mets pitchers were at or near the bottom of the league in walks allowed. Since 2004, Sheets has walked only 152 batters in 128 starts, an average of barely over one walk per start. He has also struck out 785 batter over the same time period, giving him a strikeout to walk ratio of better than 5:1.

When healthy, Sheets has been a top of the rotation pitcher. However, his health concerns made pitchers like John Lackey, Jason Marquis and Joel Piñeiro the top names on the Mets free-agent radar. Now with Lackey in Boston, Marquis in Washington and Piñeiro in Anaheim, the Mets have turned their attention to the oft-injured Sheets.

Omar Minaya has messed things up before. I think he's about to mess things up again. Why do I think that? It's all because of Ben Sheets' son, Seaver.

It has come to the attention of Studious Metsimus that Ben Sheets has a son named Seaver. Of course, our resident GM will just assume that he was named after The Franchise, Tom Seaver, and will use that to coerce Sheets into signing with the Mets.

How does Omar know that Ben Sheets wasn't a big fan of the show "Growing Pains" when he was a little Sheet? Perhaps he laughed until he cried whenever he watched the Seaver Family from "Growing Pains".

Maybe he related to the youngest son, Ben Seaver. After all, they were both named Ben. It's also quite possible that he wanted to pay tribute to young Ben but his wife didn't want another Ben in the house to avoid confusion. Therefore, he paid tribute to his fav'rit sitcom character by naming his son after TV Ben's last name. Hence, Seaver Sheets.

I can imagine Ben Sheets being so offended that Omar Minaya just assumed Seaver Sheets was named after Tom Terrific that he ends up giving another team a blank contract (a la Andre Dawson in 1987 with the Cubs). He'll end up playing for millions less than the Mets would have offered him just to spite Omar.

Omar Minaya better not mess this up the way he botched the Lackey, Marquis and Piñeiro situations. If so, Studious Metsimus will have to feature a blog on how Omar's fav'rit show as a twenty-something was also "Growing Pains". However, it'll be obvious who his fav'rit character on the show must have been (see photo below).

Mr. Minaya, I beg you. Please don't be a Boner. Don't let Ben Sheets get away. Most of all, don't offend the man!

The Mets need pitching help badly. Johan Santana and four straight rainouts are not going to happen every week. The offense was helped with the signing of Sgt. Bay of The Yukon. Now it's time to get Seaver's Dad (No, not Alan Thicke) on the team. If the Mets let another free agent pitcher sign with another team for reasonable dollars, Omar Minaya will forever be a Boner in the eyes of Studious Metsimus.

7 comments:

Solly said...

I knew you were going to make a Boner joke, I just knew it.

Let Pineiro go, I wasn't sold on him anyway. Let's see how he pitches without Duncan.

Denise said...

"How does Omar know that Ben Sheets wasn't a big fan of the show "Growing Pains" when he was a little Sheet?" My fav'rit line of the entire blog!!! A little sheet....I know what you were REALLY calling him!! LOL

PS...wasn't Boner's real first name Eddie? I could be wrong, but something is telling me it was!!

Ed Leyro (and Joey) said...

According to Wikipedia, Boner's full name was Richard Milhous Stabone. Therefore, Boner was technically a Dick.

Anonymous said...

It was Sylvester. Sylvester Stabone.

Gary said...

That was 'Terrific'.....

Ed said...

Do you really think he botched the Marquis & Pineiro situations??? I sure as heck didn't want either of them.

JY said...

One of the creators of Growing Pains was Neal Marlens (see IMDB) who grew up on Long Island in Huntington. The Seaver's on Growing Pains lived on Long Island. Who were the Seaver's neighbors? The Koosman's!! Therefore, I think it is safe to assume that Mr. Marlens was a Met fan. (You don't randomly get the Seaver's and Koosman's living next to each other.)So even if Sheets Seaver is named after the Growing Pains Seaver, he is really named after Tom.