Monday, May 17, 2010

...And Now A Word From Our Joey

Greetings, Mets fans! It's your roving Studious Metsimus correspondent, Joey Beartran getting a moment on the laptop. I have a few things to say, so BEAR with me as I get a few things off my hoodie.

Before tonight's victory against the Braves, the Mets had dropped five consecutive games. The rest of the NL East was putting New York in its rearview mirror, just like I was doing in the photo above.

No starter had won a game in May and Little Jeffy Wilpon thought it necessary to have tea and crumpets with Goofus and Gallant. (Omar Minaya and Jerry Manuel. I'll let you figure out which one is which.)

Then April's best pitcher took the hill in Atlanta and played stopper for the night. The Mets' Big Kahuna used his Big Cojones to pitch the Mets to a 3-2 victory over the Braves. The losing streak was finally over and the Mets were out of last place. Sounds like everything's peachy in Georgia, right? Not so fast!

The Mets still haven't had much contributions from their bottom three guys in the rotation. After Big Pelf and 'Han the Man, every other start this season has been made by Mr. Niese, Mr. Maine and El Perez-idente. Those three starters have combined for a grand total of TWO WINS this year!

Now Jonathon Niese is going to miss his next start due to his ailing hammy, John Maine is at the library searching for a copy of Throwing Strikes For Dummies and El Perez-idente has been impeached from the rotation.

R.A. Dickey and Hisanori Takahashi will be taking the spots of Niese and Perez, respectively and John Maine is going to have to speed read his way back to respectability. If the month of May ends with Pelfrey, Maine and the vultures in the bullpen continuing to pick up all of the victories, then the Mets and Braves might be renewing their rivalry, but this time it'll be to see who can stay out of last place instead of fighting for a division title.

Tonight's victory was great, but the Mets must do far more to get back in the good spirits of fans, similar to the way they felt during the eight-game winning streak in late April. Big Pelf put the Mets on his 6' 7" frame and carried them out of the cellar. Johan Santana will try to do the same tomorrow night. What will happen after that? It better be a victory or three from one of the other starters. If not, Little Jeffy Wilpon might be setting up the firing squad for Goofus and Gallant.

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But wait, there's more! If you can make it to the Two Boots location in the lower dining concourse of Grand Central Terminal at 7 PM on Tuesday, May 18 (that's tomorrow night!), you will be part of a Mets-tacular celebration! Some of the best Mets writers and bloggers will be on hand sharing their Mets-cellent views, stories and opinions on our beloved Metsies!

On hand will be Greg Prince (Faith and Fear In Flushing), Jon Springer (Mets By The Numbers), Josh Wilker (Cardboard Gods) and my Aunt Coop (My Summer Family)!!

If you bring a Mets baseball card, you can get a free beer. That's right! You'll be able to tell all your friends that Mets legends Tim Bogar and Mark Carreon paid for your beer. You can even bring in that Mel Rojas card that you threw darts at after he gave up that home run to Paul O'Neill.

Of course, yours truly and my Studious Metsimus colleague will be there. Hope you can be a part of Amazin' Tuesday at the Grand Central Terminal location of Two Boots!

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