Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Mets Might Have The Solution To Stopping The Phillies' Supermen

After taking the first round of the Subway Series this past weekend at Citi Field, the Mets will look to continue their winning ways tonight when the division-leading Phillies come to town, fresh off an interleague series loss to the Boston Red Sox. The Mets were able to stifle the powerful Yankee bats over the weekend. How will they be able to stop the potent Phillies' offense? A trip to the local comic book shop might provide them with the answer.

Superman's powers come from the yellow sun of Earth's solar system, as opposed to the red sun that the planet Krypton revolved around; a red sun whose radiation inhibits the development of these powers and takes them away once a Kryptonian has them.

Red Sox starting pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka hails from Japan, the land of the rising sun. Have you ever seen the Japanese flag? There's a RED SUN smack-dab in the middle of it!

Matsuzaka must have used the radiation of Japan's red sun to zap the Phillies of their power on Saturday. How else would you explain the Phillies only managing one bloop hit against the Red Sox in their hitters' haven of a ballpark?

Another item that causes Superman and his powers to go berserk is red kryptonite. From changes in his personality to losing his invulnerability, red K's effects, although unpredictable, can neutralize Superman and reduce him to a jelly-legged fool.

Tim Wakefield's knuckleball was red kryptonite to the Phillies on Sunday. They flailed away at it, hitting the ball weakly if they hit it at all. No batter knew what the effect of Wakefield's knuckleball would do to their hitting ability, similar to our fav'rit Kryptonian not having a clue what red K will do to his superhuman abilities.

So how will this information help the Mets as they begin their three-game series against the Phillies tonight at Citi Field? A quick check of the Mets' starting pitchers for the series should provide the answer.

In tonight's series opener, R.A. Dickey will take the hill for the Mets. What's his pitching specialty? The knuckleball! That's the same pitch that served as red kryptonite to the Phillies on Sunday. The kind of Kryptonite that caused Superman to turn into a giant ant has already started to affect Phillies' starter Cole Hamels, as seen by these before and after pictures of the southpaw.

In tomorrow's middle game of the series, the Mets will trot out Hisanori Takahashi, who is a fellow countryman of Daisuke Matsuzaka. That's right, SMFs. Takahashi hails from the Land of The Rising Sun. That means he'll be firing the power of the red sun at the Phillies. As we witnessed last Friday, Lefty Luthor was able to use his ability to take the power away from the Yankees' bats. Now he'll try to use his gift to rob the Phillies of their superhuman abilities at the plate.

The series finale on Thursday will feature Mike Pelfrey and his 6-1 record. What state is Big Pelf from? Kansas! Where did Kal-El's rocket crash land when his parents, Jor-El and Lara, sent him away to Earth before Krypton exploded? You guessed it. The baby who became Clark Kent, who later became Superman, began his time on Earth in the town of Smallville in the state of Kansas! Clark Kent spent his formative years in Kansas, developing his superheroic craft there before moving to the big city of Metropolis, just like Pelfrey learned to pitch in Kansas before taking his talent to the big city of New York to pitch for the Metropolitans.

Now that the Mets know the Phillies' weakness, they'll need to exploit it if they want to move up, up and away in the NL East standings. They'll get their first crack against them tonight at Citi Field when R.A. Dickey opposes octogenarian Jamie Moyer.

The Mets were able to thwart the bats of the Evil Empire. Now they must face their arch-enemies for three games. Do the Mets have enough red kryptonite left in the tank for their division rivals? Tune in throughout the three-game series to see the Mets continue their never-ending battle for truth, justice and the Metsian way.

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