Sunday, November 21, 2010

Song Parody: "Tik Tok" Until We Know Who The New Mets Manager Is

With apologies to Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte, it appears as if we'll have to wait another 48 hours to know who will be the next Mets manager. There's been plenty of speculation as to who it will be, but no one has leaked who it will be. (Even the American Idol judges had no clue.)

Will it be Terry Collins, the man who has never managed a team to a postseason berth and was subsequently run out of Anaheim after losing the players in his clubhouse?

Will it be Bob Melvin, a nice guy from what I've heard, but who makes Art Howe look interesting?

Will it be Wally Backman, the fan-favorite, who has led the majority of his minor league and independent league teams to division titles and championships?

Or will it be someone else - someone who fans aren't expecting? The master lyricist/entertainer Ke$ha recently compsed a song that might apply to the Mets and their managerial search. With a few tweaks here and there, I have reprinted the lyrics (without permission, so don't tell anyone or else I'll be in more trouble than Francisco Rodriguez at a Peña Family Reunion) in the hopes that it will shed some new light on who the next manager of the Metropolitans should be.

Ladies and Gentle-Mets, I present to you the Studious Metsimus version of Ke$ha's "Tik Tok":


Wake up Monday morning; don't feel very giddy
Grab the paper, I check the sports; still no skipper at Citi
Gotta believe in this team; no, I'm not on crack
Just wish I knew if it was Terry, Bob or Wally Back...

They interviewed Hale and Oquendo-do
Their chances were probably low-low
'Cause Sandy knows where to go-go
He basically only considered these three
Collins, Melvin and Wally
Which one of them will it be?

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Tell us who's runnin' the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Who's managing David Wright?
Tik tok, look at the clock
Name your man, let's hurry up
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Tell us who's runnin' the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Who's managing David Wright?
Tik tok, look at the clock
Name your man, let's hurry up
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?

Ain't got a clue who it is, so don't know if I'll cheer
When Sandy tells us who our manager will be next year
Collins and Melvin are okay, but they both lack that swagger
The kind that Wally would infuse if the Mets showed a stagger

Wally wouldn't take anybody's junk-junk
None of his players have stunk-stunk
He'd smack 'em if they played like punks-punks
So Sandy, it's not hard to figure out-out
I don't even need to shout-shout
Put Wally in the dugout-out
Put Wally in!

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Tell us who's runnin' the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Who's managing David Wright?
Tik tok, look at the clock
Name your man, let's hurry up
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Tell us who's runnin' the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Who's managing David Wright?
Tik tok, look at the clock
Name your man, let's hurry up
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?

Build this team up
So it won't fall down
My heart still pounds
For Wally!

Time's almost up
Make your choice now
Mets will rebound
With Wally!

Not Moneyball,
But Wally Ball.
Play Wally Ball!

Now with Wally on board, the Mets will win!

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Make sure Wally runs the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Wally's ready for David Wright.
Tik tok, look at the clock
Promote Wally to the top
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?

Chop chop, yo, what's up?
Make sure Wally runs the shop
Tonight, be forthright
Wally's ready for David Wright.
Tik tok, look at the clock
Promote Wally to the top
Oh, who is the new man?
Who is the new man?



1 comment:

Denise said...

I sang it all the way through!!! Great job always!! (Dang, now I can't get that song out of my head...)