Monday, May 7, 2012

Joey's Soapbox: Cole Hamels' Mouth Is At It Again

After Sunday night’s game against the Washington Nationals, Phillies’ starting pitcher Cole Hamels inserted his foot in his mouth again, but this time he left enough room for another stupid comment to escape from it.

Hamels retired the first two Nationals to face him in the bottom of the first, but then he hit teenage wunderkind Bryce Harper in the back with his first offering to him. Harper then proceeded to go from first to third on a single and later scored on a steal of home. It was the first-ever steal of home by a Washington National and the first such theft by a teenager since 1964.

However, after the Phillies’ 9-3 win over the Nationals, Hamels candidly said to reporters,


“I was trying to hit him. I’m not going to deny it. It’s just ‘welcome to the big leagues’.”

So let me get this straight. Cole Hamels admitted to hitting the future of the Nationals’ franchise, an admission that earned him a five-game suspension from the MLB disciplinarians. To quote former Met motivational speaker, Billy Wagner, “[expletive deleted] shocker”.

Cole Hamels is off to a fine start for the Phillies this year. In six starts, Hamels is 4-1 with a 2.45 ERA, which includes a rare victory over the Mets (only his fourth in 14 career decisions against his daddies in New York). But the rest of his team is struggling, bringing up the rear in the NL East with a 14-15 record entering tonight’s series opener against the Mets.

Making stupid statements is nothing new for Hamels. In addition to his infamous “Mets are chokers” comment following the 2008 season, he also dropped some F-bombs during the Phillies’ once-a-century World Series celebration (educating the hoagie-eating youth on how to properly use that particular word against Mets fans). Then one year later, as the Phillies were in the process of losing the World Series to that other New York team, Hamels was famously quoted as saying that he was tired and couldn’t wait for the World Series to end. He made these comments as his team was ONE GAME AWAY FROM ELIMINATION!

Cole Hamels is not the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, he’s not even the brightest bulb in his own family (his wife takes that honor). But even he should know that when his team is missing some of its key players, which is the primary reason why the team is struggling, he shouldn’t say anything that will cause him to join them on the sidelines. But no. This is Cole Hamels we’re talking about. We shouldn’t expect anything less from someone who continues to drop the bar lower on the class and dignity pole every time he opens his mouth.

It’s a shame that a 19-year-old kid with a pompous history of his own had to school Cole Hamels on how to conduct himself properly. Then again, I’m Joey Beartran, an inanimate object with a soapbox, and I’m having no problem doing the same thing.

Stay classy, Cole Hamels. Even John Rocker had to shake his head at your comments last night.     

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