Joey's Soapbox: My 2019 Not-At-All Biased LCS Picks

Please read my picks while I make a pit stop at Walgreens.  (Ed Leyro/Studious Metsimus)

What's good, kids?  This is Joey Beartran and we've reached baseball's final four.  And unfortunately, this year's pair of League Championship Series feature quite a few teams that I did not predict to advance this far.  In fact, the only team that did make it to the LCS as I foretold was the Houston Astros.

Batting .250 in the division series round means that I have some work to do to improve as a fearless forecaster.  But at least I can make myself feel better by saying I had a better chance of picking a winner in the last round than Hall of Famer and franchise legend Gary Carter had of collecting a base hit as a member of the New York Mets.  (He hit .249 while wearing the racing stripes and shooting Ivory Soap commercials.)

This year's National and American League Championship Series feature intriguing matchups.  In the Senior Circuit, we have the Washington Nationals, who are making their first NLCS appearance since moving to our nation's capital from Montreal and just the second final four appearance in the 51-year history of the Expos/Nationals franchise.  Their opponent, the St. Louis Cardinals, have appeared in 14 League Championship Series since the Expos/Nats last played in one.  The Redbirds are also making their 11th NLCS appearance in the last 24 seasons.

Moving over to the A.L., we have the New York Yankees, who are playing in their 1,000th League Championship Series in club history, according to what their fans say.  They'll be taking on the Houston Astros, a team which is appearing in its third consecutive ALCS.  This is also a rematch of the 2017 battle for the American League pennant, a series won by Houston in seven games.

Will the Cardinals win their 20th National League pennant or will the Nationals win their first?   Can Houston make its third World Series appearance of the 21st century and second in three seasons?  And how many times will Yankee fans remind us of their ringzzzzz?

You can either watch these four-plus hour contests that feature starters pitching in relief and 20,000 or so home runs (by coincidence, that's the same number of division titles the Yankees have, which must be true because I was assured of that fact by a long-time Yankee fan who said he knows everything about the team since he became a fan in 1996) or you can just read my predictions below while pondering just how many words I can fit in one sentence.  (Run-on sentence much?)

I'd take the "read my predictions" option if I were you.


National League Championship Series

Washington Nationals vs. St. Louis Cardinals

Although the Cardinals have home field advantage because they were a division champion, the Nationals actually finished with the better record (93-69, while the Cards were 91-71).  However, it was St. Louis that won the season series in this matchup, taking five of seven against Washington.

Nationals ace Max Scherzer was defeated twice by the Cardinals by identical 5-1 scores, while Washington's bats hit the snooze button in their regular season meetings with St. Louis, scoring just 17 runs in the seven games.

But that was a different Nationals team.  This group of Nats come back from two-run, eighth-inning deficits in wild card games instead of choking postseason advancement away as per the usual Washington script.  This group of Nationals erase two-games-to-one deficits in a best-of-five series and take future Hall of Fame pitchers deep on back-to-back pitches in the late innings of do-or-die games.  For everything this group of Washingtonians does now, there's one thing the team no longer does.

They don't pay Bryce Harper's salary.

These Nats don't choke.  (Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

Harper's .211 lifetime postseason batting average in a Nationals uniform is long gone, as he is now helping the Philadelphia Phillies underachieve.  But you know who is in Washington?  Anthony Rendon and his .412 batting average and 1.219 OPS in the just-completed series against the Dodgers.  So is Juan Soto and his 1.020 OPS in the same series.

Basically, all the Nationals had to do was cut ties with the hair-flipping Papelbonian punching bag and they were destined to win a playoff series and perhaps two.

The Nationals won't win this series because the pitching firm of Scherzer, Strasburg and Corbin will keep the Cardinals' already low .245 batting average in check.  They also won't win because their relievers won't get the chance to blow leads if they're hardly ever used.  Nope.  All they need is the knowledge that Bryce Harper is busy playing golf and getting another one of his managers fired (the 2020 season will see Harper playing under his sixth different skipper in nine seasons) and that'll be enough to advance to the franchise's first World Series.

Prediction: Nationals in 7.


American League Championship Series

New York Yankees vs. Houston Astros

The Yankees can only win when they outslug you.  It's true.  When they scored five runs or fewer, their record was 31-53.  We're not talking about being 22 games under .500 when they score no more than two runs.  We're talking FIVE RUNS OR FEWER.  And even when they scored half a dozen runs or more, they still managed to lose six times.

Considering that New York will now be facing a dominant Houston pitching staff that held its opponents to four runs or fewer in 112 games (for all you kids out there, that's more than two-thirds of the games they played), it's going to be very difficult for the Yankees to keep up with the Astros.

Oh, and since we're on the topic of pitching, allow me to remind you that the Yankees allowed five runs or more in nearly half of their games (72 out of 162) and will now be facing an Astros lineup that averaged 5.7 runs per contest.

The Yankees have a great past.  But it's the Astros who have a great present and future.  And looking a week into the future, I see the Astros playing in the World Series.

Predictions: Astros in 6.

If S.I. says it, then it has to be true.  (courtesy Sports Illustrated)

Joey's Small Bites: Crashing the MLB Food Fest II

Time to step up to the plate at the MLB Food Fest.  (Ed Leyro/Studious Metsimus)

What's cooking, everyone?  I'm Joey Beartran, roving reporter and culinary expert for Studious Metsimus.  And everything was cooking for me this weekend and the MLB Food Fest, which for the second straight year was held at Center 415 on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue.

Most of the bugs from last year's inaugural food fest were fixed (and I'm not just talking about the toasted grasshoppers from Seattle; those were still there).  There were 15-minute gaps between sessions so that everyone could enjoy their full two-hour window.  Departing guests also didn't have to use the same staircase to leave the venue as the arriving eaters were using to enter it, which allowed for a smoother flow of traffic.  The main difference from last year was that all guests could only sample a food item once.  No going back for seconds here.  Attendees were required to scan a bracelet before taking a food item which kept track of which food stands they visited.  That kept lines moving and prevented large gatherings of people by the most popular food stands.

As a culinary expert, I wanted to try as many foods as possible.  Also, my colleague never got me breakfast before we left for Center 415 so I made him make up for his obvious oversight by going around from stand to stand collecting the best items from all 30 ballparks.

Lights, camera, snack-tion!  (EL/SM)

Since it was lunchtime when our session began, I decided to lead off the eating game with a grilled cheese sandwich.  But it wasn't just any grilled cheese, it was a beer braised short rib grilled cheese courtesy of the Tampa Bay Rays.  Just like Brandon Nimmo or Jeff McNeil, this dish got things off to a flying start with its Budweiser braised short ribs, multiple cheeses, caramelized onions and horseradish cream.  It's too bad the Four Hands Nachos offering from the St. Louis Cardinals grounded into a double play.  Its diced chicken and typical nacho toppings were just meh.

Next up were by the Mahi Mahi Tacos from the San Diego Padres and the Philly Cheesesteak from the team that made a clown move by signing Bryce Harper because his history of losing when it counts fits in perfectly with the team's history.  Surprisingly, the tacos were nothing special and the cheesesteak was probably the best thing to come out of Philly since DJ Jazzy Jeff.

After washing down my food with several cans of the well-stocked Coke product coolers (they had 12-ounce cans this year, which was an improvement over last year's eight-ouncers), I moved on to two American League Central specials.  First, I tried the Fat Rooster from the Cleveland Indians and then I topped it off with the BBQ Burger from the barbecue-loving Kansas City Royals.  The Fat Rooster was surprisingly very hot, but I guess when you top off a fried chicken breast with Frank's Hot Sauce, habañero powder, cajun seasoning, Lawry seasoning, white pepper and garlic, that's to be expected.  The BBQ Burger had pulled pork on top of a steak burger patty, along with American cheese, world-famous Kansas City BBQ sauce and a large onion ring.  Both were a meat lover's dream.

Speaking of meats and love, I loved the meaty offerings from the Cincinnati Reds and Chicago Cubs.  The Reds' dish was a Bulgogi Beef Egg Roll, which had steak, rice, carrots, onions and scallions all drenched in Gochujang sauce, which is a Korean red chili paste.  Meanwhile, the Cubs served up a Beer Can Chicken Sandwich, which was grilled beer-can chicken, bacon and dijonnaise on a brioche bun.  Both were very different and both were very delicious.

Clearly, this food fest was not made for vegans.  (EL/SM)

After eating all of the above meals, I had to take a break to get the food down.  In other words, I had to make a run for the rest room.  Since we only had two hours to eat everything we could get our paws on, I allowed my sisters, Gabby and Iggy, to try some of the delicacies I didn't think I would like.  Since Gabby likes fried foods, she went for the Rocky Mountain Oysters from the Colorado Rockies, while Iggy sampled the Coney Egg Roll from the Detroit Tigers.

Gabby was intrigued by the breaded cowboy caviar and fries.  However, when she found out that cowboy caviar was mostly veggies, she just ate the fries.  Plus, the cowboy caviar was very tough to chew.  Iggy's snack was supposed to have chili on it, but it looks like the server forgot that part.  Despite the missing ingredient, she seemed to enjoy the hot dog and diced onions inside an egg roll.

My pinch-hitters came through when I needed it most.  (EL/SM)

After I returned from what turned into an extended bathroom break (don't ask; what happens in the stall stays in the stall), I didn't think I looked very photogenic so I let my Studious Metsimus colleague take photos of several other items I ended up trying, some of which were amazin' like the 1969 Mets, and some of which were reminiscent of the 1962 Mets, meaning they sucked pretty bad.

First, let's talk about two items that were like the '69 Mets.  The "See You Tater" Backyard BBQ Tots from the Washington Nationals and the Pulled Pork Pierogie Hoagie from the Pittsburgh Pirates were both truly scrumtrulescent.  The first dish had tater tots topped with some incredibly creamy mac and cheese, perfectly crispy onions and pulled pork shoulder covered in tangy BBQ sauce.  The latter sandwich was a repeat offering from last year, but I'm glad it came back because it was my favorite thing to eat in last year's food fest.  Both items had pulled pork, but only Pittsburgh had the smarts to add a pierogi to it.  Seriously, I could eat both of these all day.

Things I wouldn't eat all day included the Curveball Frites (Milwaukee Brewers), Shrimp Po' Boy (New York Yankees) and unfortunately, the Bases Loaded Dog (your New York Mets).  Look at the photos below for the Curveball Frites and Shrimp Po' Boy.  All I see is some tough-to-chew Andouille sausage from Milwaukee and pickles from the Bronx.  Let someone else have those.  And what about Citi Field's Bases Loaded Dog?  Let's just say no one's coming around to score after having that one.  Sorry, Mets.  I still love the team, though.

Now look at the offering to the left of the Bases Loaded Dog in the next-to-last photo below.  That's the Chicken and Bubble Waffle from the Miami Marlins.  Clearly, Derek Jeter had nothing to do with that dish because it was absolutely delicious!  The Marlins took a thick piece of breaded chicken, smothered it with maple aioli and stuffed it in a bubble waffle cone to create the best thing at Marlins Park.

Last, but not least, was the Smoked Pork Belly Bao Buns, courtesy of the Los Angeles Dodgers.  The extreme close-up below perfectly shows off the candied pork belly, corn relish, sriracha aioli and spicy mayo nestled within a soft bao bun.

In order, base hit, base hit, strikeout, strikeout, home run, strikeout, base hit.  (EL/SM)

There was plenty of food to be had at the MLB Food Fest, but for those with smaller stomachs than my own, there were plenty of other things to do to pass the time.

In one corner was a virtual reality home-run hitting game.  There were also TVs everywhere showing all of the day's MLB action as well as a free soft serve ice cream stand (okay, so that still qualifies as food).

There were also larger-than-life sculptures of pretzels and cotton candy, which many people posed for photographs with.  But my personal favorites were the French fry ball tank that I jumped into and the hot dog seesaw, which I hopped on with my siblings.

There was fun for everyone at the MLB Food Fest (EL/SM)

The Studious Metsimus staff had a wonderful time at this year's MLB Food Fest.  The delicacies were plentiful and the portions were bigger this year than they were in 2018, which made it easier to accept the fact that I didn't have time to try about half of the items from all the ballparks.  Sure, there were some things I could have done without (I probably wouldn't have tried what Gabby had), but I have faith that the teams that struck out this year will make up for it at next year's food fest.  And there will be a food fest next year, right?

On that note, it's time to say goodbye from Center 415 in midtown Manhattan.  I hope my report makes you want to visit some road stadiums in the near future.  I know I want to go back to Miami, Pittsburgh and Kansas City, to name a few.

Now it's time for me to collect my M.V.E. Award.  I was kind of expecting a trophy, but I'll take the napkin.  Besides, I think I have some barbecue sauce on my chin.  A trophy probably wouldn't do much good to clean up that mess.  Happy eating, everyone!

I always love being recognized for my work.  (EL/SM)

Yoenis Cespedes vs. Bryce Harper: Who's the Real MVP?

(Photos by Chris Humphreys/USA TODAY Sports, Jonathan Newton/Washington Post)

Bryce Harper has been the leader on the field for the Washington Nationals throughout the entire 2015 season.  He has been among the league leaders in almost every major offensive category and has put the team on his back when injuries have disabled several of his teammates.  Meanwhile, Yoenis Cespedes has only been a member of the Mets for three weeks, having spent the first two-thirds of the season playing for the underachieving Detroit Tigers.

Harper's full-season numbers dwarf the numbers put up by Cespedes in his limited time with the Mets.  So why do I think Cespedes could take a whole bunch of MVP votes away from Harper?  Former Met Mookie Wilson has a lot to do with it.  Allow me to explain.

Mookie Wilson played 12 seasons in the major leagues.  Although he had a solid career, no one would ever confuse him for a league MVP candidate.  However, after the Mets traded him to the Toronto Blue Jays at the trade deadline in 1989, he unexpectedly became one.

Toronto, which had a losing record at the time of the trade, posted an American League-best 37-20 mark after the trade, with Wilson setting the table for a recharged Blue Jays team.  Wilson started 54 games for Toronto in 1989, with the Blue Jays winning 36 of those contests.  The center fielder, who was batting .205 with the Mets before he was jettisoned to Toronto, went on to hit .298 for his new team, scoring 32 runs and stealing 12 bases during the season's final two months.

On August 14, with the Blue Jays still under .500, Wilson embarked upon one of the hottest stretches of his career and helped push Toronto past all of its division rivals.  During a six-week period, Wilson batted .349, reaching base a whopping 64 times in 37 contests.  The rejuvenated speedster scored 26 runs and went a perfect 11-for-11 in stolen base attempts.  More importantly, he helped his team post a 26-11 record during his baseball renaissance.

When the 1989 American League MVP results were announced, Wilson surprisingly earned support from a voter, despite having played four months in the National League.  The MVP vote for Wilson tied him with Chili Davis and Mark McGwire for 25th place.  Davis earned his vote by leading the California Angels to a 91-win season - just two victories shy of the team's then-franchise record - while McGwire blasted 33 home runs and helped the Oakland Athletics win the World Series.

For as little time as Wilson spent with the Blue Jays in 1989, he provided the spark that helped his team win a division title, and he was recognized for his efforts with MVP consideration.  He was the true definition of the most valuable player on a team that had underachieved until he got there and needed his best performance to rise to the top of the division.

That brings us back to the Bryce Harper/Yoenis Cespedes conversation.  Through Friday night's games, Harper has a .330/.457/.642 slash line.  He leads the league in home runs (31), WAR (7.6), on-base percentage, slugging percentage and OPS.  Harper is also second in the league in batting average, runs scored (85) and total bases (251).  Based on those numbers, Harper should be a leading candidate for the league's most valuable player.  But how valuable can a player be when his team has more losses than wins?

The Washington Nationals enter Saturday's action with a 60-61 record, five games behind the New York Mets in the NL East and several light years out of the wild card race.  The Nats have played horribly over the last 38 games, going 14-24 since July 6.  On that day, Harper was batting .347 with a .722 slugging percentage.  Since then, he's gone from superhuman to just slightly better than average, batting .295 with a .485 slugging percentage in those 38 games.  More importantly, Harper stopped driving in runs, racking up just 14 RBI in the 38 affairs.  And when he's driven in those runs, they've occurred mostly when the game was out of reach.  In fact, you have to go back to July 29 to find the last time Harper drove in a run in a game won by the Nationals.  That was two days before the Mets acquired Cespedes from the Tigers.

Since Cespedes became a Met, the team has gone 13-6 to overtake Harper's Nationals in the NL East.  Cespedes has played in 18 of those games, batting .316 and producing a .582 slugging percentage.  The 29-year-old Cespedes also has six doubles and five home runs during that 18-game stretch, while driving in 15 runs - or one more than Harper has driven in over his last 38 games.

Clearly, Harper's spark has faded in Washington.  At the same time, Cespedes has been the straw that has stirred the division-leading drink for the Mets.  The Cardinals, Pirates, Cubs and Dodgers would all qualify for the postseason if the regular season ended today.  But neither of those teams has a player that is putting up obvious MVP-caliber numbers.  And perhaps the best of all the players on those four teams is a pitcher (Zack Greinke) who only plays one out of every five games.  Here are the top everyday players on each of those four teams and their numbers:

• STL: Matt Carpenter (.264/.364/.465, 29 doubles, 18 HR, 63 RBI, 69 runs, 2.9 WAR)
• PIT: Andrew McCutchen (.295/.396/.505, 29 doubles, 18 HR, 78 RBI, 69 runs, 3.8 WAR)
• CHI: Anthony Rizzo (.292/.402/.537, 30 doubles, 24 HR, 74 RBI, 68 runs, 5.7 WAR)
• LA: Adrian Gonzalez (.287/.361/.514, 27 doubles, 24 HR, 73 RBI, 65 runs, 3.7 WAR)

They all look pretty much the same, with no one approaching the numbers being put up by Bryce Harper.  So if the voters went by the numbers alone, Harper would be the clear-cut favorite for the league's most valuable player.  But once again, is he really that valuable if his team loses more than half of its games when he's in the lineup?

Mookie Wilson didn't win the AL MVP Award in 1989.  Similarly, Yoenis Cespedes is not going to take home the NL MVP Award in 2015.  But history shows that players who switch leagues and only play two months for their new teams can become invaluable contributors that help their clubs reach success levels they hadn't approached before the mid-season trades were made to acquire these players.  That is why Mookie Wilson received MVP consideration with the Blue Jays in 1989 and that's also why Yoenis Cespedes is going to garner the same attention with voters in 2015.

Bryce Harper may end the season as the best player in the National League.  But the best player isn't always the most valuable player.  Yoenis Cespedes has changed the dynamic on the Mets since he arrived three weeks ago.  Opposing teams have to prepare differently when facing the Mets now than they used to, simply because of the presence of Cespedes in the lineup.  Harper has not contributed to Nationals victories as much as a person with his offensive statistics should.  Cespedes has been a game-changer and a potential season-changer for the Mets.

Harper may still take home the hardware at the end of the season, but Cespedes is without question the player who saved the Mets season.  And that is what a true most valuable player should be.
 

Citi Field Is Becoming Nationals Park North

Bryce Harper doesn't wear clown shoes as he rounds the bases at Citi Field.  (Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

On Thursday, the Mets dropped a 4-1 decision to the first place Washington Nationals.  It was New York’s 11th straight loss to Washington at Citi Field, a venue which has in essence served as a second home for the Nats.

It’s not just that the Mets are dropping decisions to the Nationals, it’s how they’re racking up the losses.  Let’s take a look at some of the horrifying numbers.  You might want to keep a barf bag nearby.

• Washington has celebrated a victory in each of its last 11 games at Citi Field.  That 11-game streak of success is the longest winning streak by any team at the park, including the Mets.  The Mets' longest skein in the ballpark built for them is just nine games, accomplished from April 22 to May 8, 2010.  The Nationals' streak is also the longest of all-time by any road team in the Mets' home venue.  That includes teams that visited all the awful Mets squads that played in the Polo Grounds and Shea Stadium.

• During the Mets’ eleven-game streak of ineptitude, they have been outscored by the Nationals, 74-21, with seven of the Mets’ 21 runs coming in one game - a 9-7 loss on March 31, 2014.  (Simple math lets us know that the Mets have scored just 14 runs in the other ten games.)  That March 31 game and last night’s 3-2 setback were the only times during the skein that the Mets lost by fewer than three runs.  I guess last night’s game would have to be considered a moral victory for the Mets, even if it was still yet another demoralizing defeat.

• The Mets haven’t just been stinking up the joint against the Nationals in their last eleven head-to-head matchups at Citi Field.  They’ve actually lost 25 of 29 games versus Washington since September 2011.  In that time period, the Mets have played nine series against the Nats.  They’ve won just one of those series and they’ve been swept six times.  Two of those six sweeps came in four-game series.  In the 29-game stretch, New York has been outscored, 150-66.  That means the Mets have scored eight fewer runs in their last 29 home games against the Nationals than Washington has scored in their last ten versus the Mets. 

• When Citi Field opened in 2009, the Pepsi Porch overhang was meant to evoke memories of a similar right field overhang at Tiger Stadium.  But the Nats’ bats are bringing back a different kind of Tiger Stadium memory.  Washington has outhomered the Mets, 29-5 during their 11-game rampage at Citi Field, numbers that are reminiscent of the Mets’ lone trip to Tiger Stadium in 1997, when the team hit no home runs and Detroit blasted 14 moon shots off Mets pitchers.  Are we 100% sure that Bobby Higginson isn’t the Nationals’ guest hitting coach when Washington plays in New York?

• Speaking of long balls, Washington has homered 47 times in their last 29 games at Citi Field.  These home runs have accounted for a total of 72 runs.  Meanwhile, during those same 29 games, the Mets have managed to cross the plate via any means just 66 times (as painfully detailed two paragraphs above).  That means Washington has had a better chance of scoring at Citi Field via the home run than the Mets have had of scoring … period.  The Nationals have also scored 78 runs without the benefit of the ball leaving the park, which is just them throwing salt on the Mets’ open wound. 

• Finally, in five of their last 15 games at Citi Field, the Nationals have smacked four homers or more.  The Mets, on the other hand, have played a total of 463 games in their home park.  How many times in those 463 contests do you think they’ve produced a four-homer game?  You guessed it.  Five times.  The Nats have done in 15 games what the Mets have struggled to do in nearly 500 affairs.

Before moving to Washington at the conclusion of the 2004 season, the Nationals/Expos franchise played its home games in Montreal.  The Expos played their inaugural game on the road at Shea Stadium in 1969.  Thirty-five years later, Shea Stadium bid adieu to Les Expos, hosting Montreal in the team’s final game before sending them off to our nation’s capital.  But apparently, the Expos/Nationals franchise still thinks of New York as its second home.  How else can one explain the Nationals’ dominance over the Mets at Citi Field in recent years?

Citigroup has the naming rights for the Mets’ home ballpark through the 2028 season.  But if you ask anyone associated with the Washington Nationals, Citi Field has already been re-christened as Nationals Park North.  After all, with 11 straight wins over the Mets in New York - the longest win streak by a road team at the Mets' home ballpark in the history of the franchise - the Nats have proven that they have a distinct road team advantage at Citi Field.

Joey's Soapbox: Cole Hamels' Mouth Is At It Again

After Sunday night’s game against the Washington Nationals, Phillies’ starting pitcher Cole Hamels inserted his foot in his mouth again, but this time he left enough room for another stupid comment to escape from it.

Hamels retired the first two Nationals to face him in the bottom of the first, but then he hit teenage wunderkind Bryce Harper in the back with his first offering to him. Harper then proceeded to go from first to third on a single and later scored on a steal of home. It was the first-ever steal of home by a Washington National and the first such theft by a teenager since 1964.

However, after the Phillies’ 9-3 win over the Nationals, Hamels candidly said to reporters,

 




“I was trying to hit him. I’m not going to deny it. It’s just ‘welcome to the big leagues’.”






So let me get this straight. Cole Hamels admitted to hitting the future of the Nationals’ franchise, an admission that earned him a five-game suspension from the MLB disciplinarians. To quote former Met motivational speaker, Billy Wagner, “[expletive deleted] shocker”.

Cole Hamels is off to a fine start for the Phillies this year. In six starts, Hamels is 4-1 with a 2.45 ERA, which includes a rare victory over the Mets (only his fourth in 14 career decisions against his daddies in New York). But the rest of his team is struggling, bringing up the rear in the NL East with a 14-15 record entering tonight’s series opener against the Mets.

Making stupid statements is nothing new for Hamels. In addition to his infamous “Mets are chokers” comment following the 2008 season, he also dropped some F-bombs during the Phillies’ once-a-century World Series celebration (educating the hoagie-eating youth on how to properly use that particular word against Mets fans). Then one year later, as the Phillies were in the process of losing the World Series to that other New York team, Hamels was famously quoted as saying that he was tired and couldn’t wait for the World Series to end. He made these comments as his team was ONE GAME AWAY FROM ELIMINATION!

Cole Hamels is not the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, he’s not even the brightest bulb in his own family (his wife takes that honor). But even he should know that when his team is missing some of its key players, which is the primary reason why the team is struggling, he shouldn’t say anything that will cause him to join them on the sidelines. But no. This is Cole Hamels we’re talking about. We shouldn’t expect anything less from someone who continues to drop the bar lower on the class and dignity pole every time he opens his mouth.

It’s a shame that a 19-year-old kid with a pompous history of his own had to school Cole Hamels on how to conduct himself properly. Then again, I’m Joey Beartran, an inanimate object with a soapbox, and I’m having no problem doing the same thing.

Stay classy, Cole Hamels. Even John Rocker had to shake his head at your comments last night.