Friday, July 2, 2010

Beltran vs. Kobayashi: Wiener War II

Last year, competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi was taken down by Mets centerfielder Carlos Beltran in the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest, as reported by Studious Metsimus here. Beltran used the rare "hidden bun trick" to disqualify Kobayashi and claim the Mustard Belt for himself.

Carlos took advantage of his disabled list stint in 2009 to train for the competition and was able to stun Kobayashi, who was unfamiliar with Beltran's technique.

This year, Takeru Kobayashi might not be competing because of a contract dispute with the event's organizers. However, the Studious Metsimus staff has discovered the real reason why the man Beltran mistakenly referred to as Kamasutra will be a no-show.

Apparently, Kobayashi was trying to gain the upper hand on 'Tran the Man by coming up with a technique similar to the "hidden bun trick" that was used against him in 2009.

Frustrated by his inability to find a way to stop Beltran from repeating as the Wiener Winner, Kobayashi turned to the mortal enemy of anyone associated with the Mets. He enlisted the services of the Phillie Phanatic.

Takeru Kobayashi had seen footage of the Phillie Phanatic shooting hot dogs into the stands using the launcher seen above. He figured that if he could get the Phanatic to shoot the frankfurters at a high velocity into Beltran's mouth, it would injure his throat, hampering Carlos' chances to swallow the dozens of dogs needed to win the competition.

Of course, Kobayashi failed to realize one thing. Carlos Beltran has plenty of experience with objects being hurled at him at super speed.

When Beltran was in Kansas City, he used a machine that fired numbered tennis balls at 150 MPH. He claimed that by reading the numbers that were printed on the balls, it would enhance his vision and he'd be able to focus on pitches better. (He must not have used it the morning of October 19, 2006. Either that or Jose Reyes kept saying "I've got next" whenever Beltran wanted to use it.)

Carlos took the machine with him when he was traded to Houston in 2004 and had a clause put in his contract when he signed with the Mets in 2005 which obligated the team to lease the so-called "tennis ball machine" and hire a trainer to coordinate and supervise the drills.

Needless to say, a hot dog launcher would only help Beltran's chances of defeating Kobayashi on the Fourth of July. Deflated, Kobayashi decided to sit out this year's Wiener War and then conveniently blamed it on the so-called contract dispute.

Carlos Beltran will get to "relish" his victory over Takeru Kobayashi for another year. The "sauer" loser will have to come up with a different strategy to defeat Beltran in 2011. For now, the Mustard Belt will remain with the Mets' centerfielder while Kobayashi will have to wait until the next eating contest. Is Nathan's having a Beer-Battered Onion Ring Eating Contest soon?

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