The Magic 8-Ball Predicts The 2013 Mets Season

Well, hello again, everyone!  In a few days, we'll be able to take the "off" out of "offseason", as the curtain will rise on yet another Major League Baseball season.  Over the past few months, the National League East has undergone some changes.

The Washington Nationals got stronger in the bullpen, adding Rafael Soriano, and the Atlanta Braves acquired every Upton not named Kate.  The Philadelphia Phillies got another year closer to the retirement home and the Miami Marlins decided to turn to Groupon to sell tickets to see Giancarlo and the Blowfish.

And the Mets?  They waved goodbye to Jason Bay, Andres Torres and the player who makes a guest appearance on the Wikipedia page of my wife's ass.  (Or is it the other way around?)  To replace those dearly departed outfielders, the Mets have auditioned everyone except Gary Matthews, Jr. and his old man.  The team has also added several future Hall of Fame pitchers, or at least they are in the Laffey, Marcum and Lyon households.

So will those additions and subtractions encourage a divisive fanbase to multiply in the Citi Field seats?  For the answer to that question and many more, we turn to our fav'rit spherical prognosticator.  Ladies and gentle-Mets, give it up for the Magic 8-Ball!

Thanks for stopping by.  So how do you feel about the team this year?  Can they compete for one of the five playoff spots in the National League?

Really?  That’s as optimistic an answer as I’ve ever gotten from you.  To what do you attribute this hope for the Mets in 2013?

I don’t understand.  Why the Astros?

And how does that affect the Mets?  They won’t be matched up against the Astros at all this year.

So you’re just optimistic because each team in the National League now has a 5 in 15 chance to make the playoffs instead of 5 in 16?

You sound like a GEICO commercial when you say that.

Okay, let’s move on.  With R.A. Dickey now knuckling for Canadian dollars, which pitcher in the starting rotation do you expect to have a breakthrough season?

My thoughts exactly!

You just can’t agree with me on anything, can you?
 

Whoa, there’s no need for that kind of language here.  This is a family-friendly site.  And the beginning of a new baseball season should bring out the best in everyone, including you.  Why are you always so hostile?

Shaking?  I don’t get what you’re trying to say.

Oh, you're the one that gets shaken.  Now I get it.

Sure.  Just two more questions and then you can do what Magic 8-Balls do when they’re not being shaken up.  Speaking of which, what exactly do you do when you’re not being asked questions?

Fine.  Anyway, how do you see the Mets’ outfield this season?

You know what I mean!

You think that highly of Cowgill?

I seriously have to get myself a new Magic 8-Ball next season.

Oh, so you don’t have eyes, but you’ve got ears tucked away somewhere.

Uh … well … you see … actually, I have no point.  Last question then.  What do you think the Mets’ final record will be and where will they finish in the National League East?

Wow!  You think they’ll be that good?

I knew your prediction was too good to be true.

And on that note, I'd like to wish all of you a very happy baseball season.  As the great Bob Barker would say, "please help control the snarky sphere population - don't forget to have your Magic 8-Ball spayed or neutered."  (I know I'm taking mine to get neutered right now!)

Have fun this season, and as always ... LET'S GO METS!!



Hey, kids!  The Magic 8-Ball has made predictions before.  To see what it said prior to each of the previous three seasons, please click on the links below:

2012 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2011 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2010 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

Private Matthews Is Finally Given His Discharge

The Gary Matthews, Jr. Experiment is no more. Earlier today, the Mets decided to designate Private Matthews for assignment. To replace Matthews on the roster, the Mets called up catcher Omir Santos from Double-A Binghamton.

The plea by Mets fans and fellow bloggers to DFA GMJ ASAP didn't happen PDQ, but at least it happened. The outfielder was being booed mercilessly and failed to produce much during his short stay in New York.

In 36 games, mostly as the Mets' DAO (designated automatic out), Private Matthews hit .190 and drove in one more run than the Studious Metsimus staff has this season. For as much as David K. Wright has struck out this year, Private Matthews had a far worse strikeout percentage, whiffing 24 times in 58 at-bats.

Although Omir Santos hit .260 last year for the Mets last year, with seven home runs and 40 RBI, the acquisitions of Thunder and Lightning (Rod Barajas and Henry Blanco) made Santos obsolete. He was sent to Triple-A Buffalo before the beginning of the season to serve as a mentor to catching prospect Josh Thole. The only problem was that Santos didn't hit a lick at Buffalo. His .194 average (7-for-37) and two RBI earned him a first-class ticket to Double-A Binghamton, where he fared even worse, batting .074 (2-for-27).

However, with Blanco hurting, the Mets felt the need to have some insurance behind the plate, necessitating the Santos call-up.

So the Mets discharged Private Matthews and his .190 average from their battalion and promoted Omir-acle Whip and his combined .143 minor league batting average.

All I have to say is that Rod Barajas better stay healthy and hitting. I'm sure the Mets and their fans would rather see their power hitting Batman at the plate than having to settle for his new sidekick.

Pelfrey And Davis Could Make A Sweet Promotion

The Mets took the first game of their four-game series against the Chicago Cubs tonight by the score of 6-1. Ike Davis performed well in his major league debut, going 2-for-4 with an RBI. Tomorrow, the Mets' team leader in wins AND saves, Mike Pelfrey, will take the mound. Davis is expected to play first base again.

Here's a quick note to the Mets Promotions Department. Instead of giving away ski caps in late April as you're doing this Friday night, why not take advantage of the opportunity to promote one of your top starting pitchers and your promising rookie at the same time?

Everyone likes giveaways. Many people like candy. No one remembers Mike and Ike candy. Whenever Mike Pelfrey pitches and Ike Davis plays first, the Mets should give away Mike and Ike candy to the first 25,000 fans.

It wouldn't be a very expensive giveaway, so the team could still afford to buy excuses instead of free agents this coming offseason. Kids of all ages would love the sweet candies and the Just Born candy company (makers of Mike and Ike) would get more exposure than they would ever get on their own. Everybody wins (even dentists would win from the extra money they'd make from parents bringing in their kids for all the cavities they're going to need filled.)

Mike Pelfrey and Ike Davis. Mike and Ike candy. The Mets should jump all over this one like fans are jumping all over Gary Matthews Jr. Speaking of Private Matthews (who's this close to "earning" an honorable discharge from the Mets Militia), perhaps the Mets can have a giveaway honoring the Sarge's Son. It would also be sponsored by a candy company. Anyone remember Garbage Pail Kids?



Don't forget to support the Mets during this long homestand. This will be a key stretch of games for the team and they'll need Mike Pelfrey and Ike Davis to continue to play well and for Gary Matthews, Jr. to stay on the bench. Forever.

Stay sweet, my friends.

Too Much Coy And Vance, Not Enough Bo And Luke

The blogosphere is going crazy these days with all the news about Jose Reyes' hyperthyroid problem. From respected bloggers like Joe D and The Coop, there is no shortage of talk about Reyes and the fact that the Mets lack depth at so many positions.

Carlos Beltran will not be available to the Mets until May at the earliest. If Reyes misses the full eight weeks (has the timetable changed to two minutes to eight months yet?), he will also not register his first at-bat of the season until May. Of course, coming back at around the same time as Carlos Beltran might prevent the Jerry Manuel "Let's Bat Jose Third" Experiment from ever seeing the light of day. Of course, I'm trying to find a bright side to all this while the fluorescent bulb in my brain has fizzled out.

No Reyes, no Beltran. Who do we have waiting in the wings? How about Angel Pagan and Private Matthews for Carlos Beltran and Alex Cora and (shudder to think) Fernando Tatis.

Herein lies the problem for the Mets. They don't have capable backups to replace Beltran, Reyes, et al for an extended period of time. Case in point: In 2009, Alex Cora saw extended playing time due to Reyes' injury. In 271 at-bats, he batted .251 with 11 doubles, one triple and one home run. He also collected 18 RBI. Compare those numbers to the .279 average, seven doubles, two triples, two home runs and 15 RBI amassed by Jose Reyes. Now consider that Reyes did that in only 147 at-bats.

Let's put this into perspective. In 1984, the Mets' backup shortstop was Rafael Santana, a man not known for his hitting skills. As a backup, he only played in 51 games and collected 152 at-bats that season. In those 152 at-bats, he hit .276, with 11 doubles, one triple, one home run and 12 RBI. Those numbers are almost identical to the digits put up by Cora despite the fact that Cora collected 119 more at-bats than Santana did in 1984! Heck, if Johan Santana could play shortstop, I'd take his bat over Cora's.

The Pagan/Matthews combo is somewhat better in the offensive department. However, consider that Beltran was a consistent 20-20 threat and Gold Glove winner. Private Matthews has never hit as many as 20 HR in a season and Angel Pagan hasn't hit 20 HR in his CAREER! Also, neither player has stolen as many as 20 bases in a single season (Matthews' career high was 18 in 2007 and Pagan stole 14 last year for the Mets). That shows how much of a dropoff you're getting whenever Beltran is not in the lineup. They're both adequate fielders, but neither of them would win a Gold Glove over a full season like Beltran would. (And don't let me get started about fundamentals. Beltran puts the "fun" in fundamental, while Pagan brings home the "mental" part, as in he makes fans go mental watching him. I haven't seen enough of Private Matthews, so let's give him the "da" part of fundamental.)

What I'm trying to say in this lengthy diatribe is that the Mets are employing too many Coy and Vance Dukes and not enough Bo and Luke Dukes.

Bo and Luke Duke WERE the Dukes of Hazzard. They were the stars. They were the reason young fans tuned in on Friday night, at least until puberty hit and Daisy Duke became the main reason to tune in. In Season 5, Bo and Luke were "replaced" by Cousin Coy and Cousin Vance. Ratings went down faster than David Wright's 2009 home run output and Bo and Luke were written back in to the show before the season was over.

Alex Cora is Coy Duke and Pagan/Matthews are Vance Duke. They're not capable of carrying Reyes and Beltran's jock straps, let alone replacing them adequately on the field.

The Mets had their chances to sign Felipe Lopez, a younger and more productive player, to back up Reyes at short and chose to re-sign Cora. Lopez then signed a one-year deal with St. Louis for less money than the Mets gave Cora. The Mets could also have signed Jim Edmonds as a backup for Beltran in center and instead decided to trade for Private Matthews. Edmonds has since signed a minor league deal with the Milwaukee Brewers and is in camp with the Brewers trying to become their fourth outfielder. Surely the Mets could have signed him to a similar deal. After all, in his last stint in the majors, he collected 19 HR and 49 RBI in only 250 at-bats for the Chicago Cubs in 2008. We already know he's a Gold Glove-caliber centerfielder.

Are the Wilpons trying to become a modern day Boss Hogg and Roscoe P. Coltrane, trying to keep as much money for themselves while trying to screw the fans out of the team they deserve to root for?

After Jason Bay, the Mets did not address the issue of role-players. Re-signing Fernando Tatis was as far as they went. They chose to ignore the fact that players who are injured once tend to get injured again. Didn't they learn that the players from last year who were forced into everyday action were not capable of helping this team contend?

Coy and Vance Duke were not adequate replacements for Bo and Luke Duke. The fans never accepted them as Dukes. Similarly, Mets fans should not accept Cora and Pagan/Matthews as adequate replacements for Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran. It's like trying to replace moonshine with water. It might look the same in the bottle, but once you have a taste of it, you'll know the difference.

Cora, Matthews and Pagan will all be wearing the same Mets jerseys as their teammates, but they're not the New York Mets the fans are paying to see. If the Wilpons were Dukes of Hazzard fans, they'd pay close attention to what happened in Season 5. Then maybe they'd see that fans won't accept an inferior product when there are better Dukes on the pond.

Diff'rent Year, Diff'rent Gary?

By now, you're probably aware that the Mets acquired Gary Matthews, Jr. from the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim yesterday for reliever Brian Stokes. Are you also aware that the Angels will be paying $21.5 million of the remaining $24 million left on Matthews' contract? The Mets will only be responsible for $2.5 million of Gary's salary.

Does this sound familiar to you? It should if you remember what the Mets did with another Gary before the 2009 season.

Just days before the curtain rose on the 2009 season, the Mets acquired Gary Sheffield from the Detroit Tigers, who had released him just three days earlier. The Tigers still owed him $14 million so the Mets were able to sign him for $400,000.

As a 39-year old with Detroit in 2008, Sheffield hit a career-low .225 in 418 at-bats. Despite being able to sign him for next to nothing, many so-called experts criticized the move, saying Sheffield was washed up and would be a cancer in the clubhouse.

Instead, due to various injuries suffered by 66.6% of the team (but I don't think that number has anything to do with it), Sheffield saw extended playing time. He raised his average from .225 in 2008 to .276. In only 268 at-bats (roughly half a season worth of ABs), he hit 10 HR (including his 500th career home run; see photo right) and collected 43 RBI. How's that for only 400,000 semolians?

So now we have another Gary on the team. The former Angel is expected to compete with the current Angel (Mr. Pagan) for the center field job while Carlos Beltran is recovering from his well-known top secret arthroscopic knee surgery.

Have you ever heard about those nameless executives and talent evaluators who always have something negative to say about players when asked for their opinions? Well, according to Buster Olney, one of them had this to say:

"Matthews is a player to be avoided. Slow bat. Declining range. And above all else, a player who wants to be a regular and will be an unhappy distraction in your clubhouse when he's not in the lineup every day."

That's funny. If you substitute Sheffield's name for Matthews, wasn't that the same thing being said about the O.G. (Original Gary) last April?

For the Studious Metsimus readers who aren't feeling this trade, all I am saying is give Matthews a chance. Carlos Beltran should only miss a few weeks of the season. The Mets also have Angel Pagan who can play center field. A slump by Matthews will not destroy the team's chances to finish in fourth place (until the Mets get some starting pitching help, Studious Metsimus should not be confused with Optimist Metsimus).

The Mets' annual pre-season Gary of The Year acquisition hasn't hurt them yet. For the money the Mets are paying Gary Matthews, Jr., I don't feel the need to trash this trade (but I reserve the right to do so later). Now if the Mets were to announce the acquisition of Gary Coleman before the beginning of the 2011 season, it'll be time for all Mets fans to say "What you talkin' 'bout, Wilpon?"