A Double Dose of Dickeypedia

There are times when R.A. Dickey's words of wisdom cannot be contained. They can come at you from every direction, just like an Oliver Perez fastball. So it should come as no surprise that Bill Madden's article on the Mets' knuckler/wordsmith in today's Daily News touched upon a topic that made us consult Dickeypedia.

In 2005, R.A. Dickey was coming off his second consecutive poor season for the Texas Rangers. As a result, Dickey was asked by the Rangers to consult knuckleball guru (and former Ranger pitcher) Charlie Hough so he could learn the nuances of the nomadic pitch. In discussing Hough's influence on Dickey's career-saving pitch, the Mets' righty professed:

"Charlie taught me the rudiments of the knuckleball. He changed my grip to help with the consistency and make it mechanically more compact."

Later on, Dickey discussed how he went to Atlanta a few years after studying under Charlie Hough. There he met the Pai Mei of knuckleball instructors, Phil Niekro. After some time in the film room, Niekro made some minor changes to Dickey's delivery, evolving the pitch into what it has become.

Dickey came out of the meeting with Niekro as a new man with a devastating new pitch. So overjoyed was Dickey that he let his extensive vocabulary describe the feeling:

"Only a few people have the knuckleball vernacular. But as Phil told me, the one design of the pitch is to get people out."

R.A. Dickey learned how to throw the knuckleball so he could get people out. However, his penchant for spitting out SAT words as if they were sunflower seeds has gotten people's dictionaries out as well.

For those who only got credit on their SAT for spelling their names correctly, here are the definitions for the words "rudiments" and "vernacular":

rudiments:

• 1. the elements or first principles of a subject.
• 2. a mere beginning, first slight appearance, or undeveloped or imperfect form of something.

vernacular:

• 1. the native speech or language of a place.
• 2. the language or vocabulary particular to a class or profession.

R.A. Dickey showed us the proper way to use those words in sentences. To show you how NOT to use these words properly, we decided to contact former Met closer (and receiver of fan wrath) Armando Benitez to give us his input. In less time than he used to take to blow a crucial save, Benitez came up with these wild pitches of wisdom.

"I don't understand why Mets fans were always booing me. I always went out there and gave 100%. If that's not good enough, then tough. I won't be disrespected, so they better not be rudiments to me."

If that isn't enough for you, Benitez decided to reflect on one "disrespectful" moment in his Mets career. You might remember it as the ninth inning, game-tying, three-run homer he gave up to San Francisco's J.T. Snow in the second game of the 2000 NLDS.

"After that game, I was confronted by a Mets fan who was at the game, but couldn't get tickets. He decided to watch the game from across McCovey Cove. He told me that from where he was, he didn't even need vernaculars to see that I had just served up a meaty pitch for Snow to hit."

If only Armando Benitez had consulted Dickeypedia first, he might not have made a fool of himself when talking about Mets fans who weren't happy with his version of 100%. Then again, we are talking about the guy who put the "BS" in Blown Save...

That's all for this edition of "Dickeypedia Word of the Week". Be here next time as we proceed with your education while former Mets continue to suffer their humiliation.

Why We Can't Have A Yankees-Phillies World Series

The Yankees finished with the best record in baseball, swept the red-hot Twins in the ALDS and are now playing the Angels in the American League Championship Series. The Phillies won their third straight division title, were clutch in Colorado and are now trying to repeat as National League Champions. Both teams are currently three wins away from a World Series showdown.

I am a Mets fan. I hate the Yankees. I hate the Phillies. I hate the possibility of a Yankees-Phillies World Series, although I know it might very well happen. However, if the world is to continue spinning on its axis, we CANNOT have a Yankees-Phillies Fall Classic (or Fall Crassic, if you will). I'm Joey and here is why this matchup could be a potential disaster.


As Mets fans, how could we root for either team? Yay, Derek Jeter just struck out with the bases loaded! Oh wait, it was Cole Hamels who struck him out. Woohoo, Utley just let a ball go through his legs! Here comes A-Rod to score the go-ahead run. Ugh! See what I mean?

This potential World Series matchup would be like 1999 all over again for Mets fans. In 1999, Kenny Rogers roasted the Mets and their fans by walking every member of the Atlanta Braves in the bottom of the 11th.

Random thought: Perhaps this is where Oliver Perez learned his mantra of "walks are part of the game". If he was going to learn from a master, he should have learned from Pai Mei and not from the Gambler.










Because of Kenny's donations to the Atlanta Frequent Walker Club, we were subjected to a Yankees-Braves World Series. I was not alive then, but my colleague was. He told me that he did not watch a single pitch of that World Series because he couldn't root for the Bronx Bummers or the team that prevented the Mets from playing on.

Although the same teams faced each other in the 1996 World Series, the Braves did not have the same rivalry with the Mets in '96 as they did in '99 (the Mets were 71-91 in 1996). Therefore, that World Series wasn't as unwatchable as the '99 Series was.

If Studious Metsimus is going to cover the 2009 World Series, we would probably need to watch at least one pitch of it. I can be sure that if the Yankees play the Phillies, we'll be watching "Ghost Hunters" or the series premiere of "V" instead.

In addition to it being an unwatchable World Series for Mets fans, please recall that the Yankees and Phillies have played each other in the World Series once before. That was in 1950, when the Yankees swept the so-called "Whiz Kids", which was the stupid name the Phillies were playfully known as that season. What happened after that World Series? The USA entered the Korean War and the Yankees went on to win the next three World Series.

We do not need a repeat of that! As the movie "Team America: World Police" so succinctly stated, don't f**k with Kim Jong-il! America does not need more conflict overseas and Mets fans certainly don't need to see Alex Rodriguez finally win a ring or three, thereby becoming a "True Yankee".

Let's hope the Angels and Dodgers can pull out victories in their respective series to prevent our hated rivals from winning a pennant and playing for a World Series Championship.

I would like to watch baseball in November and not have to worry that a particular fan base will be spending the entire winter bragging about their pennant and/or championship. Besides, I'm getting the feeling those aren't real ghosts being recorded on the infrared vision and EVP recorders on "Ghost Hunters" anyway.