Hark(ness), The Herald Davis Swings

If you were at Citi Field today as I was, you witnessed a thrilling conclusion to the Mets-Reds affair.  With the Mets trailing, 3-2, going into the bottom of the ninth, Juan Lagares, Anthony Recker and Ruben Tejada all reached base to start the inning.

Up stepped Ike Davis, needing a long fly ball to tie the game and a base hit to perhaps win it.  What he did was even more exciting.

Slam!  Let the boys be boys!  (Photo by Howard Simmons/NY Daily News)

Davis' long blast off the Subway sign in right-center turned a potential heartbreaking one-run loss into a scream-until-you-lose-your-voice three-run victory.  The walk-off grand slam gave the Mets a 6-3 win over the Reds and put them in position to sweep Cincinnati on Sunday.

But Ike Davis' game-ending homer was more than just a fantastic moment in this young season.  It also was one of the rarest moments in the 53-year history of the team.  Please allow me to elaborate.

Davis' walk-off grand slam was only the seventh such home run hit by a Mets player in franchise history.  Tim Harkness was the first Met to smoke a game-ending salami, accomplishing the feat against the Chicago Cubs at the Polo Grounds on June 26, 1963.  Just forty-four days later, Jim Hickman also victimized the Cubs for a walk-off grand slam at the Polo Grounds.  The killer H's were the only two players in team history to end games with four-run homers until 1980, when Mike Jorgensen took the Dodgers' Rick Sutcliffe deep at Shea Stadium.  Six years later, Tim Teufel hit a grand slam against Tom Hume of the Phillies at Shea, a feat that wasn't seen again at the Mets' former home until 1991, when Kevin McReynolds blasted a bases-clearing shot over the wall versus the Montreal Expos.  It took another 22 years before Jordany Valdespin became the sixth Met to end a game with a grand slam, taking the Dodgers' Josh Wall over the wall at Citi Field on April 24, 2013.  Less than 365 days after Jordany took a spin around the bases, Ike Davis became the seventh slammer.

Obviously, becoming the seventh player to hit a walk-off grand slam in Mets history puts Davis in select company, but four of the other six players who ended games by putting a four-spot up on the scoreboard did so when their respective games were tied.

Hickman, Jorgensen, Teufel and Valdespin each turned tie games into four-run victories with their powerful swings.  That means Harkness, McReynolds and now Ike Davis are the only players who can claim snatching a victory from the jaws of defeat by walking off with a grand slam home run.  And each player did so at a different home park, with Harkness turning a 6-4 deficit into an 8-6 win at the Polo Grounds, McReynolds blasting away at a potential 5-4 loss by slamming the Mets to an 8-5 victory at Shea Stadium and Ike Davis erasing a 3-2 Reds lead with one swing of the bat, giving the Mets a 6-3 win at Citi Field.

Harkness.  McReynolds.  Davis.  Three very different players playing in three very different eras.  But all produced one very similar result with three well-timed swings of the bat.  And it was a result that made Mets fans across the generations leave the ballpark feeling slam-tastic.

Will Jordany Valdespin Be a Met-Killer as a Marlin?

"M" is for malcontent.

Former Met clubhouse pariah Jordany Valdespin will bring his off-the-field sideshow to South Beach in 2014, as he signed a minor league deal with the Miami Marlins on Friday.

In two seasons with the Mets, Valdespin had as many big moments as a pinch-hitter as he took selfies of himself.  He also served as a human Whac-A-Mole for John Buck after hitting a walk-off grand slam to defeat the Dodgers this past April.  But he never got along with Terry Collins and was divisive in the clubhouse, complaining about his lack of playing time even as his batting average dipped below .200.

You can be sure that if Valdespin makes the Marlins team out of spring training, he will be gunning for the Mets whenever the two teams meet.  If he does, he will join a long list of former Mets who tormented the team as Marlins.  Here are five such players who were thorns in the Mets' collective sides after they left Flushing.

Chuck Carr

The dominant Mets teams of the mid-to-late '80s had plenty of speed in their lineup.  Players like Lenny Dykstra and Wally Backman were the team's table setters at the top of the lineup, striking fear in the minds of opposing pitchers whenever they reached base.  By 1990, both players were gone, and the Mets were more of a station-to-station team.  But they still had one player who could zip his way around the bases.  It's too bad they gave up on him before he got a chance to show the team what he could do.

Between 1989 and 1991, Chuck Carr stole 128 bases for the Double-A and Triple-A affiliates of the Mets' farm system.  But his blazing speed didn't get him much playing time at the major league level, as Carr could only amass 13 at-bats and two stolen bases for the Mets in 1990 and 1991.  In December 1991, the Mets traded Carr to the St. Louis Cardinals for a minor leaguer and one year later, Carr was taken in the expansion draft by the Florida Marlins.  And for the next three seasons, Carr showed the Mets what they were missing.

In 1993, Carr led the league with 58 stolen bases and finished fourth in the Rookie of the Year voting behind future Mets Mike Piazza, Greg McMichael and Jeff Conine.  Carr was headed for another great season in 1994, stealing 32 bases in 40 attempts before the players' strike ended his quest for back-to-back 50-steal seasons.  How much did the Mets miss Carr's speed that year?  Carr's 32 steals in 1994 were seven more than the amount of thefts registered by the entire Mets team.  (They were successful in 25 of their 51 stolen base attempts in 1994.)  Carr stole 115 bases in three years with the Marlins.  The Mets didn't record another 100-steal season until 1999, the year in which they ended an 11-year playoff drought.

Bobby Bonilla

Everyone's favorite self-proclaimed Bronx tour guide really socked it to the Mets after completing three-and-a-half tumultuous seasons in New York.  As a member of the division rival Pittsburgh Pirates, Bobby Bonilla recorded three 100-RBI campaigns during a four-season stretch from 1988 to 1991.  But after signing a lucrative free agent contract (that he's still collecting) to play in front of his hometown fans, Bonilla was a pretty big disappointment with the Mets.  In his final season in the Steel City, Bonilla hit .302 and led the league with 44 doubles.  In his first year with the Mets, Bonilla's average dropped to .249 and he produced just 42 extra-base hits (23 doubles, 19 homers).

Bonilla made the All-Star team twice as a Met, but never became a star in the hearts of Mets fans.  When he got off to a terrific start in 1995 (.325, 25 doubles, 18 HR, 53 RBI in 80 games), the Mets jumped at the opportunity to trade him, shipping him off to the Baltimore Orioles.  Two years later, he became a Florida Marlin and did with them what he couldn't do in New York.

After never hitting more than 25 doubles or driving in more than 87 runs in any of his years as a Met, Bonilla rapped 39 two-baggers and had 96 RBI as a member of the Marlins in 1997.  He also hit 17 homers and led the team with a .297 batting average.  But what most Mets fans remember is that he won a World Series championship with the Marlins in 1997 and was a key contributor to their success in the postseason, hitting two homers and driving in ten runs, which was two homers and ten RBI more than he had for the Mets in five playoff games when the team re-acquired him in 1999.  Even the strongest earplugs couldn't drown out the boos he heard that year.

Preston Wilson

Prior to the start of the 1998 season, Preston Wilson was primarily known for being the stepson of Mets legend Mookie Wilson.  When he was later traded to the Florida Marlins in May of that season, he was then known for being the key piece that netted the Mets a perennial All-Star and one of the most powerful hitters in the game in catcher Mike Piazza.  But five years after the trade, Wilson was just known for being one of the most complete offensive talents in baseball.

After a short eight-game career with the Mets, Preston Wilson was dealt to the Marlins with two other players for Mike Piazza.  Piazza went on to become one of the best hitters in team history, but Preston Wilson had himself a fine career as well.  In 1999 - his first full season in the major leagues - Wilson hit .280 with 26 homers and 71 RBI, finishing second in the Rookie of the Year vote.  Wilson followed that up with a tremendous 2000 campaign, a year in which he compiled 35 doubles, 31 homers, 121 RBI and 36 stolen bases.  If you recall, when the 2000 Mets lost the World Series to the Yankees, one of their flaws was a lack of power and speed in the outfield.  No Met outfielder had more than 18 homers, 69 RBI, or stole more than eight bases.  Wilson had 19 HR, 67 RBI and 15 stolen bases by the All-Star break that year.

Wilson continued to flourish after the 2000 campaign, recording two more 20 HR/20 SB seasons in his final two years with Florida before moving on to Colorado and putting up 36 homers and a league-leading 141 RBI with the Rockies in 2003.  And although most Mets fans might remember Yadier Molina's go-ahead two-run homer in Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS as the crushing blow of the series, it was Preston Wilson's go-ahead RBI double off Tom Glavine in the pivotal fifth game that sent the Mets back to Shea Stadium needing to win the final two games to advance to the World Series.  They didn't.  And Mookie's stepson got his ring, something Mike Piazza never got as a Met.

Armando Benitez

Unlike Bobby Bonilla and Preston Wilson before him, Armando Benitez never got the chance to earn a World Series ring after he left the Mets.  But he did get to exact his own personal revenge against the Mets when he became a member of the Florida Marlins in 2004, and that might have tasted sweeter to him than the best bottle of championship-clinching champagne.

Benitez actually had a great career for the Mets, as long as the stakes weren't high.  The flame-throwing right-hander saved 160 games as a Met and his 2.70 ERA is the second-lowest earned run average posted by a Met with at least 300 innings pitched behind only Tom Seaver.  But Benitez wilted under the pressure, allowing crushing hits in key September games and various postseason affairs.  By 2003, the Mets were done with Benitez, trading him to the crosstown Yankees.  One year later, Benitez became a Florida Marlin, and he made sure the Mets remembered who they parted with every chance he got.

Florida was just mediocre in 2004 after winning the World Series the previous year, going 83-79 in defense of their title.  But Benitez was one of the main reasons why they didn't finish with a losing mark, recording a league-leading 47 saves for the Marlins - a number that still stands as the team record.  In addition to his career-best 1.29 ERA, Benitez really stuck it to the Mets, posting a 0.68 ERA against his former team and recording a whopping 11 saves versus New York.  The boos may have had a negative effect on Benitez when he was a Met.  But the boos he heard as a Marlin in 2004 did nothing but make him smile.

Jose Reyes

As much as Armando Benitez was vilified as a Met, Jose Reyes was beloved.  Reyes played nine seasons in New York, leading the team in smiles and excitement, as well as triples and stolen bases.  But when Reyes approached free agency for the first time in 2011, the team decided to go the cheap route, allowing him to sign with their division rivals in Miami.  The Mets didn't offer him a $106 million box of chocolates, and have been left trying to pick up the crumbs ever since.

Since Reyes' departure two years ago, the Mets have used an assortment of players to fill in the void left by the dynamic shortstop.  Ruben Tejada, Ronny Cedeño, Omar Quintanilla and Justin Turner have all played at least 20 games at the position over the last two seasons, as the Mets have scrambled (and failed) to replace what was once a sure thing in terms of offensive production.

None of those four players had power or speed.  Meanwhile, Jose Reyes picked up his 100th career triple and 400th steal as a Marlin in 2012, while smacking his 100th lifetime home run as a member of the Blue Jays in 2013.  The quartet of Tejada, Cedeño, Quintanilla and Turner have combined for 28 triples, 58 homers and 65 stolen bases in a total of 26 big league seasons.  Reyes has made the Mets remember what they lost every time he's faced them, going 8-for-8 in stolen bases, while hitting two triples and a homer in just 18 games against his former squad.

Jordany Valdespin will need talent, determination and plenty of balls to join the five players listed above.

There have been a total of 29 players who played for the Mets before becoming members of the Marlins.  Many of them (such as the five listed above) have gone on to become better players, win championships, or just became thorns in the Mets sides for many years.

After signing a minor league deal with Miami, Jordany Valdespin is looking to become the 30th former Met to go on to play for the Marlins.  If he had his way, he'd try to become the latest Marlin to sock it to his former employers in Flushing, just like Chuck Carr, Bobby Bonilla, Preston Wilson, Armando Benitez and Jose Reyes did.  It's up to the men currently wearing the orange and blue to make sure he doesn't.

Bad Outfield? What Bad Outfield?

Mike Baxter and Lucas Duda were supposed to be part of a lousy Mets outfield.  Take that, non-believers!

Prior to the start of the season, the biggest weakness for the Mets was not in the bullpen, but in the outfield.  Lucas Duda was the only player assured of an everyday job in the outfield just one year after his inconsistent play in the field and at the plate got him demoted to the minors.

But less than two weeks into the season, the various outfielders jockeying for playing time have collectively surpassed the low expectations set for them.  Six players have played in the outfield for the Mets through the season's first 11 contests.  Of those six, all but Kirk Nieuwenhuis have played in at least eight games.  Below are those five players' hitting statistics in 2013:

• Lucas Duda (10 games):  .276 average, .655 slugging percentage, 6 runs, 6 RBI, 5 XBH
• Marlon Byrd (10 games):  .270 average, .432 slugging percentage, 5 runs, 7 RBI, 3 XBH
• Mike Baxter (9 games):  .294 average, .455 on-base percentage, 5 runs
• Jordany Valdespin (9 games):  .381 average, .458 on-base percentage, 6 runs, 2 SB
• Collin Cowgill (8 games):  .407 slugging percentage, 4 runs, 6 RBI, 3 XBH

Collectively, the five main outfielders for the Mets have hit .263 with five doubles, two triples, six homers, 20 RBIs, 26 runs scored and three stolen bases through the team's first 11 games.  The fearsome fivesome has also combined to post a .368 on-base percentage and .466 slugging percentage during the Mets' 7-4 start.

There are no Upton brothers in the Mets outfield this season, nor is there a disgruntled Miami Marlin, but there might not need to be.  With the surprising production the team has gotten from Duda, Byrd, Baxter, Valdespin and Cowgill, the Mets have been doing just fine with their jigsaw puzzle outfield.

Perhaps the Mets will need to add a piece here or there to fix whatever problems they encounter during the season.  But as of right now, the outfield is not in need of repairs.  Who would have thought that just two weeks ago?
 

What Should The Mets Do With Jordany Valdespin?

Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images

In 2012, Jordany Valdespin put his name in the Mets record book with one swing of the bat, crushing a three-run homer off Phillies closer Jonathan Papelbon on May 7 for his first major league hit.  The homer propelled the Mets to a 5-2 victory over their division rival in Philadelphia.

Valdespin had a knack for providing big blasts off the bench in 2012, as his five pinch-hit homers broke the Mets franchise record set by Danny Heep in 1983 and tied by Mark Carreon in 1989.  Overall, Valdespin hit eight home runs for the Mets last year.  But his ability to hit the ball out of the park wasn't his only talent.

The 25-year-old from the Dominican Republic produced a total of 18 extra-base hits, scored 28 runs, collected 26 RBIs and stole 10 bases for the Mets in 2012, all without reaching 200 official at-bats.  Do you know how many Mets in team history have produced 18+ XBH, 28+ runs scored, 26+ RBIs and 10+ SB in the same season, regardless of the number of times they came up to the plate?  The answer is quite a handful, with the majority of the players doing it in full seasons of 500 or more at-bats.  But how many of them did it in as few a number of at-bats as Valdespin collected?  The answer is zero.

Let's just consider those players who, in 300 at-bats or fewer, matched or surpassed the number of extra-base hits, runs scored, RBIs and stolen bases that Valdespin achieved for the Mets in 2012.

 

Player	Year	AB	XBH	Runs	RBI	SB
Joe Christopher	1962	271	18	36	32	11
Claudell Washington	1980	284	30	38	42	17
Daryl Boston	1992	289	27	37	35	12
Jose Reyes	2003	274	21	47	32	13
Jordany Valdespin	2012	191	18	28	26	10

Only four players in Mets history have been able to produce a season in which they matched or surpassed Jordany Valdespin's 2012 totals in extra-base hits, runs scored, runs batted in and stolen bases, while collecting fewer than 300 official at-bats.  But all of them needed at least 80 more at-bats to achieve the numbers posted by Valdespin in only 191 at-bats.

Valdespin's production in 2012 was not a fluke.  In 2011, his last full season in the minors, Valdespin collected 52 extra-base hits, scored 69 runs, drove in 60 and stole 37 bases in 511 at-bats between AA-Binghamton and AAA-Buffalo.

Although Valdespin hit .241 for the Mets in 2012 (he hit .294 in the minors in 2011), his ability to drive the ball, find his way around the bases, and swipe a bag or ten are invaluable to a team needing whatever offensive spark it can get.  In addition, Valdespin proved to be versatile on the field, playing all three outfield positions and the two middle infield spots.

His attitude and behavior aren't always exemplary, and sometimes his defense leaves a little to be desired, but there's no question that Valdespin can be dangerous at the plate and on the basepaths.  Like your favorite adult beverage, Valdespin might be harmful in large doses, but when he's used in reasonable amounts, he can create quite a buzz at Citi Field.  And if the Mets want to do what's best for the team, they'll use Valdespin in moderation in 2013.

National Crisis Averted

With a little help from the bats of David Wright and Ike Davis, plus the right weather conditions for R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, the Mets avoided being swept in Washington and the greater embarrassment of coming home after a winless road trip against the division rivals directly ahead of them in the NL East standings.

How bad was this road trip before Thursday’s finale?  I’ll tell you how bad it was.  Davey Johnson offered some of his traditional dugout snack food (Rolaids) to Terry Collins to help him deal with the heartburn, heartache and heart stomping going on between the foul lines since the All-Star Break.

Okay, so the sharing of the Rolaids between past and present Mets skippers might not be entirely accurate, but after watching and listening to the team before and after their games this week, perhaps it should be the fans who start raiding Davey Johnson’s medicine cabinet for some vintage 1986 antacid tablets.

For example, on Tuesday Jordany Valdespin put on his Air Jordanys and sent a Tyler Clippard pitch flying into the night.  Valdespin had come into the game as a pinch-hitter for Jason Bay.  So did Terry Collins reward the ‘Spinster for his late-inning heroics?   Nope.  The next day, Jason Bay’s name was once again on the starting lineup card, while Valdespin was once again keeping Bay’s seat on the bench warm.

Then, on Wednesday, after the Mets had cut Washington’s lead in half, Collins gave the ball to Saturday’s starting pitcher, Miguel Batista to keep the Mets within a run of the Nationals.  That’s not last Saturday’s starter.  That’s this coming Saturday’s starter, as in three days after his relief effort.  So of course, Batista allowed two runs to the Nats, which ended up being the winning runs after the Mets hit two solo homers off closer Tyler Clippard in the ninth.  But of course, when Batista was interviewed after the game, he claimed the Mets were not only better than the Nationals, but that they were THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL!

Let me rewind that.

Batista, who gave up the runs that proved to be the winning tallies, doesn’t think there is any team in baseball better than the Mets.  Now I know Batista is a published novelist and poet, but I don’t think his poetic license extends to post-game interviews.  I mean, was he waxing poetic or was he just a poet who gets waxed by other hitters?  Seems to me as if the latter has been true more often than not, and by Terry Collins giving him a start on Saturday on two days rest, perhaps Batista is writing the final chapters of his Mets career.

Let me set the record straight.  The Mets are not the best team in baseball.  They’re not even the best team in New York.  Heck, I think a little league team or two in Queens might argue that the Mets aren’t even the best team in their own borough.  But they are a good team.  And sometimes that’s all you need to crash the postseason party.   But when they lose five straight games to teams that are standing behind the velvet rope checking for their IDs … well … let’s just say the Mets are going to have a tough time proving they should be invited to their exclusive shindig.

Terry Collins has to make better decisions as the manager.  The relief corps has to stop being the relief corpse.  And they should stop making stupid statements when they come off the field.  The only statements fans need to hear are ones made by the bats, gloves and arms between the foul lines.  That’s it.

By winning the series finale against Washington on Thursday, a National crisis was averted.  For now.  The Mets could once again be in crisis mode when the Nats visit Citi Field for a crucial three-game series next week.  But only if they fail to play the way we know they can play.  With heart.  With cojones.  With a desire to win.  With the passion they showed during the first half.  Are those Mets still with us?  Let’s hope so.   

Hakuna Tejada! What A Wonderful Day!

Rejoice, all you Ruben Tejada lovers!  Your beloved shortstop is back!

The Mets' Opening Day shortstop has been activated from the disabled list (as was relief pitcher Ramon Ramirez) after being sidelined for the past seven weeks with a thigh injury.  Infielder Jordany Valdespin will be leaving 'Spin Citi to return to AAA-Buffalo to make room for Tejada on the active roster.

Tejada will be the starting shortstop and will bat second in tonight's rubber match against the Yankees, according to the Mets' official Twitter account.

#Mets Sunday lineup vs. Yankees: Torres-CF, Tejada-SS, Wright-3B, Hairston-LF, Duda-RF, Turner-1B, Cedeno-2B, Thole-C, Dickey-RHP
— New York Mets (@Mets) June 24, 2012

Since Tejada was injured on May 6, the Mets have started four different players at shortstop, with Omar Quintanilla (21 games), Ronny Cedeño (16 games), Justin Turner (6 games) and the recently-demoted Jordany Valdespin (1 game) all taking turns keeping the position warm for Tejada's eventual return.

That return will come tonight.  Prior to his injury, Tejada was hitting .305 with ten doubles in 27 games, all while playing a smooth shortstop (only two errors in 111 chances).  Sabermetricians will also be quick to point out that Tejada is one of only two Mets this year (David Wright is the other) to rank in the team's top five in offensive WAR (0.9, 4th on the team) and defensive WAR (0.3, 3rd on the team).  For those not into the advanced metrics, that's pretty darn good.

Hakuna Tejada!  Ruben is back, well-rested and (hopefully) fully recovered from his thigh injury and embarrassing face plant that kept him on the sidelines since early May.  His presence in the lineup and on the field can only help the Mets as they try to continue their improbable run to the top of the division.

Fix The Cigarette Lighter

The Mets have a 31-25 record entering tonight’s tilt against the Washington Nationals.  With more than one-third of the season behind them, the Mets stand only 1½ games behind the first place Nats.  However, they could have been all alone in first place had the bullpen been able to hold on to not one, not two, but three late-inning and extra-inning leads last night.

After Andres Torres gave the Mets their first lead of the game in the eighth inning, poor relief work and shoddy defense (I’m talking to you, Jordany Valdespin) allowed Washington to tie the game.  Once the game went into extra innings, Scott Hairston did everything he could to help the Mets win, singling, stealing a base and scoring the go-ahead run in the tenth inning (only to watch from right field as the Nationals tied it in the bottom of the tenth).  He then hit a home run off Ross Detwiler in the 12^th inning to give the Mets another one-run lead, but Elvin Ramirez allowed two runs in the bottom of the inning to hand the game over to Washington.

The poor defense might have been somewhat of a surprise, especially when the normally sure-handed Ike Davis bobbled a potential double play grounder in the tenth inning.  But the awful relief pitching was not a surprise, as the Mets have had no rhythm in the bullpen, giving fans the blues with every putrid performance.

The Mets’ bullpen has the worst ERA in the National League by far, as their 5.39 ERA is over a full run higher than the 4.33 ERA posted by the bullpen of the last place Phillies.  Despite their repeated failures in the pen, the team has gotten by, hanging around the top of the division.  But imagine where they could be in the division with just a mediocre bullpen instead of the worst.

Basically, the bullpen has been playing Rawhide at Bob’s Country Bunker over the past two months.  (Go watch Blues Brothers if you don’t get the reference.)  They’re not exactly the guys the fans paid their hard-earned money to see on the mound, but as long as the end result (i.e. the win-loss record) appeals to them, they won’t get glass bottles thrown at them.  Figuratively speaking, of course.

It’s great that the Mets are 31-25 and near the top of the division.  No one could have seen that coming.  But right now, they’re just a cop car with a souped-up engine and a broken cigarette lighter.  Everything else is working better than expected, but it’s that one broken component (the bullpen) that’s making the machine stall.  At 31-25, the Mets are 106 games away from the end of the regular season, they've got a full tank of gas (sort of), half a dozen starting pitchers, it's dark and they’re wearing sunglasses.  But they're going to need to fix that cigarette lighter.  If not, their season could fall apart before reaching their final destination.

I Have The Solution To The Mets' Bullpen Problem!

After the Mets' meltdown across the border in Toronto, where they allowed 14 runs to the Blue Jays (including six more runs given up by the bullpen), the team decided a change needed to be made.  As per ESPNNewYork's own Adam Rubin, the Mets are expected to call up Jeremy Hefner to fortify their tattered bullpen.  Although the Mets have made no formal announcement of this transaction as of this writing, the prime candidate for demotion/release/being sent to the principal's office is Manny Acosta (although the team is leaning toward demoting Jordany Valdespin and his "I own Jonathan Papelbon" shirt).

Acosta allowed five runs to the Blue Jays last night in two innings of so-called "work".  For the season, Acosta has allowed 27 runs (23 earned) in 19⅔ innings.  He has allowed more runs than any pitcher on the Mets' staff except Dillon Gee.  Yes, you read that correctly.  A relief pitcher is second on the team in runs allowed.  R.A. Dickey, who has thrown 30⅔ innings more than Acosta, has allowed five fewer runs (two fewer earned runs) than the man who has continued the tradition of putrid pitching in uniform No. 46.

Jeremy Hefner had a cup of coffee in the major leagues earlier this season, pitching three innings of scoreless relief in a loss to the Giants.  That's fine and dandy.  But it's still only three innings of major league experience.  He might not be the long-term solution.  But I might just have a better solution.

Earlier today, I had a discussion with Clayton Collier.  (Follow him on Twitter here, why don't ya?)  Clayton is a writer for numerous sites, such as Mets Merized Online, and is the founder/head baseball writer at Trifecta Sports, so it's safe to say he knows what he's talking about when it comes to baseball and the Mets.

In our discussion, we talked about some previous faux suggestions for bullpen help, such as Tim Tebow, whose erratic left arm would strike the fear of God into opposing batters.  Clayton also suggested Jeremy Lin, although his curveball isn't as good as his crossover.

That's when the eco-friendly light bulb lit up above my head (albeit dimly).  I know what the Mets have to do to strengthen their bullpen.  Cue up the video...





That's right, kids!  I'm throwing my own Mets hat into the ring.  I'm nominating myself to help the Mets' relief corps.

You see, when R.A. Dickey gave me tips on how to throw a knuckleball, I shocked him by not only throwing a perfect strike, but by knocking his ball out of the hole.  (Dickey threw a practice pitch and embedded it into the haystack that served as the strike zone.  My pitch hit his ball in the center of the strike zone and dislodged it.)

Hitters would be so confounded by my knuckleball, a stark contrast to the 100-MPH heat thrown by Bobby Parnell and the assortment of other pitches thrown by the rest of the crew, that they wouldn't know what to do with it.  Either that or they'd just laugh so hard at the out-of-shape noob on the mound that they wouldn't notice strike three fluttering by.

Think about it, Mets fans.  It makes sense on so many levels.  I have acquired pitching experience from my personal lesson with knuckleball guru R.A. Dickey.  I also own many personalized Mets jerseys, so I'd even save the cash-strapped Wilpons some money since they wouldn't have to make new uniforms for me.

It's time to get the campaign rolling!  Let's get some fresh blood into the Mets bullpen!  No more turning the relief corps into the relief corpse!

Put me in, coach!  I'm ready to play!  Look at me, I can be ... your reliever!