The Magic 8-Ball Predicts The 2013 Mets Season

Well, hello again, everyone!  In a few days, we'll be able to take the "off" out of "offseason", as the curtain will rise on yet another Major League Baseball season.  Over the past few months, the National League East has undergone some changes.

The Washington Nationals got stronger in the bullpen, adding Rafael Soriano, and the Atlanta Braves acquired every Upton not named Kate.  The Philadelphia Phillies got another year closer to the retirement home and the Miami Marlins decided to turn to Groupon to sell tickets to see Giancarlo and the Blowfish.

And the Mets?  They waved goodbye to Jason Bay, Andres Torres and the player who makes a guest appearance on the Wikipedia page of my wife's ass.  (Or is it the other way around?)  To replace those dearly departed outfielders, the Mets have auditioned everyone except Gary Matthews, Jr. and his old man.  The team has also added several future Hall of Fame pitchers, or at least they are in the Laffey, Marcum and Lyon households.

So will those additions and subtractions encourage a divisive fanbase to multiply in the Citi Field seats?  For the answer to that question and many more, we turn to our fav'rit spherical prognosticator.  Ladies and gentle-Mets, give it up for the Magic 8-Ball!

Thanks for stopping by.  So how do you feel about the team this year?  Can they compete for one of the five playoff spots in the National League?

Really?  That’s as optimistic an answer as I’ve ever gotten from you.  To what do you attribute this hope for the Mets in 2013?

I don’t understand.  Why the Astros?

And how does that affect the Mets?  They won’t be matched up against the Astros at all this year.

So you’re just optimistic because each team in the National League now has a 5 in 15 chance to make the playoffs instead of 5 in 16?

You sound like a GEICO commercial when you say that.

Okay, let’s move on.  With R.A. Dickey now knuckling for Canadian dollars, which pitcher in the starting rotation do you expect to have a breakthrough season?

My thoughts exactly!

You just can’t agree with me on anything, can you?
 

Whoa, there’s no need for that kind of language here.  This is a family-friendly site.  And the beginning of a new baseball season should bring out the best in everyone, including you.  Why are you always so hostile?

Shaking?  I don’t get what you’re trying to say.

Oh, you're the one that gets shaken.  Now I get it.

Sure.  Just two more questions and then you can do what Magic 8-Balls do when they’re not being shaken up.  Speaking of which, what exactly do you do when you’re not being asked questions?

Fine.  Anyway, how do you see the Mets’ outfield this season?

You know what I mean!

You think that highly of Cowgill?

I seriously have to get myself a new Magic 8-Ball next season.

Oh, so you don’t have eyes, but you’ve got ears tucked away somewhere.

Uh … well … you see … actually, I have no point.  Last question then.  What do you think the Mets’ final record will be and where will they finish in the National League East?

Wow!  You think they’ll be that good?

I knew your prediction was too good to be true.

And on that note, I'd like to wish all of you a very happy baseball season.  As the great Bob Barker would say, "please help control the snarky sphere population - don't forget to have your Magic 8-Ball spayed or neutered."  (I know I'm taking mine to get neutered right now!)

Have fun this season, and as always ... LET'S GO METS!!



Hey, kids!  The Magic 8-Ball has made predictions before.  To see what it said prior to each of the previous three seasons, please click on the links below:

2012 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2011 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2010 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

R.I.P. "My Wife's Ass Is On Scott Hairston's Wikipedia Page"

On April 9, 2011, my wife – a veritable Gal For All Seasons – was invited to take the field prior to the game against the Washington Nationals as part of the Mets’ season ticket holder appreciation program.  I was unable to attend the game because I was coughing up a lung, kidney, gall bladder, and I think a gerbil came up as well.  Therefore, my Studious Metsimus co-blogger, Joey Beartran, accompanied my wife on the field.

Each season ticket holder invited to partake in the pre-game festivities was assigned a position on the field where he or she would be met by the starting player at that particular position.  My wife was hoping not to get second base because Chin-lung Hu was starting there on that night (come to think of it, I think I might have coughed him up as well).  Fortunately, she did not get Hu on second.  Instead, she was sent out to left field, which would have led to a tête-à-tête with Jason Bay had he not been on the disabled list to start the season.  The player starting in left field that night was Scott Hairston.  And so began the “wife’s ass” craze.

I'd be smiling, too, if I went out to my position and found THAT waiting for me.
(Photo by Sharon Chapman)

According to my wife’s report, Hairston gave Joey a high-one (Joey doesn’t have fingers, hence the high-one instead of a high-five) and was quite engaging in the short amount of time they shared together in left field.  Friend of Studious Metsimus, Sharon Chapman, took the above photo of the meeting and submitted it to Wikipedia, where it has been ever since.  The rest, as they say, is history.

For the remainder of the 2011 season and the entire 2012 campaign, any time Hairston made a positive contribution to the team –and there were plenty – my wife would tweet about it and:

• remind us all of the online reader-edited encyclopedia where her derriere could be found
• occasionally add the hashtag, #MyAssIsOnScottHairstonsWikipediaPage

After two seasons in New York, including an unexpected 20-homer season in 2012, Scott Hairston is now a former Met, taking his powerful bat and Wikipedia references with him to the North Side of Chicago.  The Mets’ refusal to give Hairston more than a one-year deal led to his decision to abandon Citi Field for confines that are rumored to be friendlier.  The Mets, already lacking outfield depth due to the departures of Andres Torres to San Francisco and Jason Bay to Siberia (a.k.a. Seattle), now have to cope with the loss of their most consistent bat in the outfield, one that finished third on the team in home runs.  But that’s nothing compared to the loss my wife and her Twitter followers are experiencing.

Scott Hairston is now a Cub. The real question is, will my ass still be on his Wikipedia page?
— The Coop (@Coopz22) January 24, 2013

For the time being, my wife’s ass is still on Scott Hairston’s Wikipedia page.  But now that Hairston’s ass will be bombing Wrigley Field (as in home run bombs, not what your 12-year-old mind is thinking), it’s only a matter of time before his photo is replaced by one of him in a Cubs uniform.  It’s now up to the Mets to find themselves an outfielder that will approach the numbers Hairston gave the team in 2012.  If they can’t replace his 20 homers in the outfield, it’ll be the front office that’ll look like a bunch of asses.

Toronto Going Hard For Dickey

The deal for R.A. Dickey has not been consummated yet, but if you had any doubts whether or not Toronto's desires for Dickey were strong, this tweet by Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports should quell those doubts.

Two other executives who have asked on Travis d'Arnaud this offseason were told flat-out no. Shows you how badly Toronto wants R.A. Dickey.
— Jeff Passan (@JeffPassan) December 15, 2012

Yes, my fellow Mets fans.  The Blue Jays have a major hard-on for Dickey and are willing to go south of the border to grab him, even offering top catching prospect Travis d'Arneau when they weren't willing to do the same for those teams who did not have a Dickey to dangle.

I'm sure I'll have more on this potential pitcher-for-catcher deal involving Dickey and a B. Jay as we go deeper into the night.  Stay tuned!

Haven't I seen you on Scott Hairston's Wikipedia page before?

The Real Reason Why The Yankees Want Scott Hairston

Everyone is leaving the Yankees these days.  Whether it's a free agent departure (Eric Chavez), a convenient injury that explains a Jason Bay-like slump in the postseason (Alex Rodriguez) or because douches have to replaced every once in a while (Nick Swisher), the once-mighty Yankee offense is a little less mighty these days.

The team with 27 rings and no soul has been looking for a bat or three this offseason, and one player they've been considering is Mets outfielder Scott Hairston.

Hairston, who prior to this season was known to baseball fans only as the guy who has a hot chick's ass on his Wikipedia page, finished the 2012 campaign with 20 HR and 57 RBI for the Mets.  Hairston was an extra-base hit machine for the Mets, collecting 25 doubles and three triples in addition to his 20 homers, doing all this in only 377 at-bats.  He became the first player in Mets history to reach 20 doubles and 20 homers in so few at-bats.

And Hairston also did one more thing, which was so eloquently tweeted by yours truly back in October:

Scott Hairston (20 HR) had more homers this year than A-Rod (18) in 86 fewer at-bats. But A-Rod made $27.9 million more than Hairston. #Mets
— Ed Leyro (@Studi_Metsimus) October 11, 2012

Despite that revealing tweet, that's not the real reason why the Yankees have been coveting Scott Hairston.  The real reason is because they miss a certain someone.  That someone was responsible for leading the team to four championships, including one that we won't mention because it was clinched at Shea Stadium against the Mets.

Since that someone left town after the 2007 season, the Yankees have won one championship in five years, but that one was okay because it was over the hated Phillies in 2009.  In the other four seasons, they failed to make the playoffs (2008), were bounced in the ALCS by a team that had never advanced to a World Series (Texas - 2010), were dealt with quickly in the ALDS (Detroit - 2011) and left their bats at home in an ALCS sweep (Detroit - 2012).

Am I saying that the Yankees miss their old manager, Joe Torre?  Well, if they can't get Torre to come back, then why are they looking for someone who looks eerily like him?

The Yankees are not the same team they used to be, with hitters leaving the team via free agency rather than coming to New York in similar fashion.  Clearly, they need up an offensive upgrade and a less expensive one at that.  That's why they say they're targeting Scott Hairston.  But we know the real reason why they want the power-hitting outfielder.

If the Yankees can't get Joe Torre to come back to manage the team, then they'll just have to settle for his less hirsute doppelganger as a consolation prize.  After all, they did it before when they tried to sign a douche and settled for Nick Swisher, right?

Danger In The Outfield

Although the Mets bullpen was the worst in the majors this year, the top priority for Sandy Alderson this offseason (after resolving the David Wright/R.A. Dickey contract extension issues) should be to improve the outfield.  No Met outfielder has reached 70 RBI in a season since the team moved to Citi Field (Scott Hairston and Lucas Duda tied for the team lead in RBIs by outfielders with 57).  How sad is it that Angel Pagan's 69 RBI in 2010 represent the highest RBI total for a Met outfielder since Shea Stadium closed its doors for good?

Remember in 2000 when everyone said the Mets won the pennant despite having an offensively-challenged outfield?  Well, the trio of Benny Agbayani, Jay Payton and Derek Bell all hit at least 15 HR and drove in a minimum of 60 runs that year.  Believe it or not, that's the last time the Mets had three outfielders reach those numbers in the same season.

Bullpens are unpredictable from year to year.  As bad as the relievers were this year, they could be better than expected next year. But a revolving outfield of Scott Hairston, Lucas Duda, Kirk Nieuwenhuis and Mike Baxter (and perhaps Andres Torres if he's re-signed) just can't compete with the more powerful outfields in the league.  The Mets need a significant change in the outfield if they want to improve in 2013.

The Mets' competition in the division all have at least one, if not more, solid outfielders.  The Nationals have the best outfield in the NL East, with Michael Morse, Jayson Werth and Rookie of the Year Bryce Harper.  The Braves have 20/20 man Jason Heyward (betcha didn't know Heyward stole 21 bases to go with his 27 HR), while the Phillies have a tremendous outfield prospect in Darin Ruf, whose minor league numbers (.317, 38 HR, 104 RBI) carried over into the majors last September after he was called up (.333, 3 HR, 10 RBI in 12 games with the Phillies).  Even the depleted Marlins have a top slugger in Giancarlo Stanton.  The Mets have the guy whose Wikipedia page proudly features my wife's ass.  And that's only if the Mets can re-sign him.

It's been said that pitching wins championships.  That's true, as the Giants have won two of the last three World Series with a strong pitching corps.  But they had outfielders that came through more often than not.  In 2010, it was Cody Ross, Pat Burrell and Andres Torres (with Torres producing a career year for the Giants).  This past season, the names of the outfielders may have changed, but the productivity did not, as Angel Pagan, Gregor Blanco and Hunter Pence all contributed to the Giants' latest title.

The Mets did not have great outfielders when they advanced to the World Series in 2000.  But as a unit, they were more productive than any other outfield the team has put on the field ever since.  It's not a surprise that the Mets have failed to return to the World Series since the days of Agbayani, Payton and Bell.

Assuming the Mets don't trade R.A. Dickey before the beginning of the 2013 season, they'll have a formidable staff.  With Dickey leading the way, followed by the combination of a healthy Johan Santana, the ever-improving Jonathon Niese, the wünderkind Matt Harvey and the return of Dillon Gee (or even Mike Pelfrey if the Mets choose to go that route), starting pitching won't be a problem in 2013.

We know the Mets need to upgrade their bullpen.  But what the Mets truly need are dependable outfielders who are going to be out there 162 games a year.  The rest of the division already has them.  The Mets need to follow suit.  The 2000 pennant winners have been the team's most complete outfield for way too long.

Scott Hairston vs. Alex Rodriguez

It's silly to compare Scott Hairston to Alex Rodriguez.  One is a journeyman who is best suited to be a team's fourth outfielder.  The other could be the majors' all-time leader in home runs, runs scored and runs batted in before he calls it a career.  (I'll let you figure out which one is which.)

Clearly, Alex Rodriguez's career has been one for the books, while Hairston's career has been full of one-year contracts.  But baseball is a business where "what have you done for me lately" is just as important, if not more so, than "what did you do over the last ten years".  And when it comes to Hairston and Rodriguez, one player has done a lot more for his team lately than the other.

On Wednesday night, I posted this tweet about the two players, which got quite a response from my Twitter followers:

Scott Hairston (20 HR) had more homers this year than A-Rod (18) in 86 fewer at-bats. But A-Rod made $27.9 million more than Hairston. #Mets
— Ed Leyro (@Studi_Metsimus) October 11, 2012

But Hairston didn't just out-homer A-Rod.  The Met outfielder also collected eight more doubles and two more triples than Rodriguez, and had a .504 slugging percentage compared to A-Rod's .430.  That means Hairston had more of each type of extra-base hit in 86 fewer at-bats than Rodriguez.

Did I mention that Scott Hairston earned $1.1 million in 2012 while Alex Rodriguez had 29 million reasons to thank his lucky stars?  I did?  Well, it deserves repeating.  The following also deserves a mention.

Alex Rodriguez made $1.6 million per home run in 2012.  Hairston made $1.1 million.  Period.

Scott Hairston rounded the bases 20 times in 2012, a year after trying to hit a home run with my wife.  

(Photo by Sharon Chapman)

When Steve Phillips did not sign Alex Rodriguez prior to the 2001 season, he claimed it was because A-Rod would have been the "one" in a "24-plus-one" roster.  On the other hand, Scott Hairston has been the one who has complemented the other 24 members of the team perfectly since he signed with the Mets prior to the 2011 season.

Let the Yankees give their money away to fading stars.  The Mets can get similar production from players like Scott Hairston without having to break their piggy bank into 29 million pieces.  I'll take Hairston over A-Rod any day.