Thursday, March 10, 2011

Broken News: While We Were Away In San Francisco

As some of you may or may not have known, the Studious Metsimus staff (minus roving reporter/culinary expert Joey Beartran) spent the past five days in San Francisco, visiting the plethora of tourist attractions (see photo, left) and hoping to bring back some of that championship attitude that has permeated the Bay Area now that the Giants have finally won their first championship since leaving the Polo Grounds over half a century ago.

However, we were unsuccessful in our attempts to take that winning attitude aboard the plane. You see, the baggage check people at the airport noticed that we were dressed in our Mets gear. Since we're only allowed one piece of carry-on luggage, they claimed that as Mets fans, we have too much baggage as it is.

On that note, let's see what we might have missed while we were trying to find a place on Alcatraz for Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo to play their next game of catch.

The Mets dropped the ball on one of these guys. The other guy dropped the ball for the Mets.

Carlos Beltran suffered a setback on the road to becoming the 198th rightfielder in franchise history. Beltran will not play until next week, after it was announced that he is suffering from tendinitis in his left knee. With the prognostication of time missed due to injuries not high on the Mets' accuracy list, it would not be a surprise if Beltran was not ready for Opening Day.

For years, Carlos Beltran has been 85% healthy any time he has been afflicted with aches and pains. For now, it appears as if he's 85% sure that he's 85% healthy.

Yes, we still like Carlos Beltran...85% of the time.

There is still no clear-cut favorite for the opening at second base, leaving room for plenty of competition over the final three weeks of Spring Training. As sad as the situation may seem, it might be true that the best second basemen currently employed by the Mets are AA-Binghamton manager Wally Backman and AAA-Buffalo manager Tim Teufel.

If only former first round draft pick Reese Havens were not so injury-prone, perhaps this could have been the year for the second base prospect to make the jump to the major leagues. However, perhaps Ike Davis said it best when he spoke of the man who was drafted four spots ahead of him in the 2008 draft:

"All I know is that he plays 10 games a year, and hits 10 home runs."

Havens' power potential at a position where long balls are scarce (except for division rivals Philadelphia and Atlanta, who can boast Chase Utley and Dan Uggla as their second sackers, respectively) would have provided a big boost for the Mets in 2011.

Last season, the Mets used Luis Castillo, Ruben Tejada and Luis Hernandez at second base. The trio combined for three home runs in 507 at-bats in 2010, including the September blast hit by Luis Hernandez soon after an unnamed teammate wished him luck by telling him to "break a leg", which of course, was taken literally by the 26-year-old Hernandez.

Had Luis Hernandez chosen Wheaties instead of Rice Krispies for his pre-game meal, perhaps his leg wouldn't have gone "snap, crackle, pop" as he fouled a ball off it prior to hitting this home run.

Terry Collins, Dan Warthen and Sandy Alderson have decided to move Oliver Perez to the bullpen, thereby not allowing Ollie the opportunity to invade the Top 20 on the club's all-time list for games started. (Currently, the lefty ranks 23rd all-time with 91 starts over his 4½ seasons with the Mets.)

Perhaps a better idea would be to banish him from ever appearing in a Mets uniform again. That would give Ollie the opportunity to appear in Major League 3 (although it would actually be the fourth film in the Major League franchise of films, as Major League: Back To The Minors was released in 1998 to the delight of all five people who watched it).

Since Charlie Sheen is busy promoting his "Winning Is Everything" World Tour, he would have difficulty reprising his role as Rick Vaughn. What better role for Oliver Perez to make his film debut than in the role of "Wild Thing"? His performance on the mound since 2009 (100 walks, eight hit batsmen and six wild pitches in 112⅓ innings) should save the film production company plenty of money in casting costs. He'd be a natural for the role, and he could reunite with the unemployed Carlos Delgado, who'd be a natural to fill Dennis Haysbert's shoes in the role of Pedro Cerrano. Of course, Delgado would have to pry away Jobu from the hands of Carlos Beltran, who allegedly bought the icon as a means to improve his curveball hitting skills.

Pedro Cerrano and Carlos Delgado, or is that Carlos Delgado and Pedro Cerrano? Dang doppelgangers!

That's all for this edition of Broken News, where someone else breaks the story before us, then we break it some more. Remember, if you catch wind of a Mets-related story, send that wind over to us. We have no problem breaking that as well.

Enjoy the rest of Spring Training!

No comments: