Song Parody: Ollie B. Gone

So have you heard that Oliver Perez was released today? Yes? Oh. Then I guess I don't have to put a spoiler alert on this blog. But yes, it's true. Oliver Perez is no longer a Met. El Perez-idente was finally impeached after spending the past two years in a position nobody elected him to.

Remember 2008? That was the year after Oliver Perez went 15-10 with a 3.56 ERA for the Mets. In 2008, Ollie's win total decreased to ten, while his ERA increased to 4.22. He also led the league in walks that season with 105. Still, the Mets felt it necessary to pay $36 million over the next three years to retain the services of the man who would probably find a way to walk Helen Keller if she came up to bat against him.

The year 2008 was also the fiftieth anniversary of one of the greatest rock n' roll songs ever written. In 1958, Chuck Berry recorded "Johnny B. Goode", a song that has one of the most recognizable opening guitar riffs and has been covered by dozens of artists over the year. Mets fans might also remember it as longtime reliever John Franco's entry music.

In "honor" of the release of Oliver Perez, Studious Metsimus would like to celebrate with its own version of Chuck Berry's classic. So let's stop talkin' and let's get rockin' to "Ollie B. Gone".


Way down in Port St. Lucie on a field of dreams
Look back up in the bullpen on the New York team
There stood a lefty pitcher whose career was near done
He was Oliver Perez; now he's Ollie B. Gone
He never ever learned to throw a strike so well
But he would give up ten runs every time he got shelled

Just go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Ollie B. Gone!

He had a bunch of teammates who would have his back
Like Endy in Game Seven on the warning track
But when those teammates noticed how much Ollie got paid
They knew he'd lose his rhythm and the Metsies would fade
So Mets fans passing by would just stop and say
"I hope the game gets rained out so that Ollie can't play!"

Just go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Go Ollie go!
Go!
Ollie B. Gone!

The Mets fans told him "Ollie, don't you make us laugh
By saying you will be part of a big league staff."
Many of us driving from miles around
Are hearing news that you were booted out of our town
So today we'll celebrate in joyous delight
Now that Ollie B. Gone tonight!

Just go!
Go Ollie go!
Go go go Ollie go!
Go go go Ollie go!
Go go go Ollie go!
Go!
Ollie B. Gone!