Friday, March 18, 2011

Song Parody: Cee-Lo Green Tells Mets Fans To "Forget Lou"

The Mets-osphere is burning up with today's news that second baseman Luis Castillo was released by the team, who still owe him $6 million for the 2011 season. Castillo, along with the not-yet-but-soon-will-be-released Oliver Perez, were the poster boys for everything that went wrong during Citi Field's first two seasons.

While most people are saying "it's about time", at Studious Metsimus we're not saying it, we're singing it. Or rather, we're letting Cee-Lo Green do the honors.

Last year, Cee-Lo had a huge hit (something Luis Castillo knows very little about) with a song that didn't have the most family-friendly title ("F___ You"). In order to give the song more exposure, he also recorded an alternate version called "Forget You", which he performed with Gwyneth Paltrow at this year's Grammy Awards while dressed like the San Diego Chicken on steroids.

To show our appreciation of this modern crassic, I mean, classic, we have decided to pay tribute to Luis Castillo with our own version of the song. Now that Castillo is no longer in the second base picture, it's time to "Forget Lou":

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Yeah, I'm sorry we gave that money to Ollie.
But Derek Lowe was no longer there.
Perez got his contract while you got less money.
You still signed for a reasonable share.
I pity the club that tries to take this scrub.
(You think that he's a winner?)
Well!
(Your odds to win got thinner!)
Ooooooh!
I've got bad news for Lou...
Yeah, you're done; your Mets career is at an end.

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Now you know that we felt no sorrow
What we felt was the agony of defeat.
We tried to keep ya, we tried to please ya.
Then we thought we'd give your @$$ its release.
I pity the club that tries to take this scrub.
(You think that he's a winner?)
Well
(Your odds to win got thinner!)
Ooooooh!
I've got bad news for Lou...
Yeah, you're done; your Mets career is at an end.

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Now Louie, Louie, Louie, why're you, why're you getting so mad?
(So mad, so mad, so mad)
We're tired of your drama so we're tellin' ya
You're gone like a fad
(A fad, a fad, a fad)
So if you ask "uh, why?"... (Ugh!)
"Why?" (Ugh!)
"Why'd you release me?"
Oh! We hate you!
Oh! We all hate you!
Oh!

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)


Special note: For your listening pleasure, here are Cee-Lo Green's "clean" and "not-so-clean" versions of the song. The first video is Cee-Lo's performance on the Grammy Awards. (That one's okay for the kiddies to watch.) The second video was taken from a performance on "Later...with Jools Holland", a British music television. That's the original (i.e. expletive-laden) version of the song. It's not safe for work, but it is safe for Mets fans who have often hurled those epithets at Luis Castillo. Enjoy!





4 comments:

Denise said...

This was unbelievably funny! Even better than the one you did that time about Tony Bernazard with that girl, what was her name?

Ed Leyro (and Joey Beartran) said...

Was it Jon Niese? Did her name rhyme with that? For some reason, Señor Solly's twin is coming to mind (or maybe it's just Señor Solly coming to mind. Who knows?)

Denise said...

Who told you?

Senor Solly said...

This was awe-some clap clap clapclapclap!