Gettin' Iggy With It: Up At The Crack of Ass To Talk About Trading One

"Hey, Cole Hamels!  What's that on your lip?"

Good afternoon, everyone!  This is Iggy Beartran, sister to Studious Metsimus roving reporter Joey Beartran and expert on all things Cole Hamels.  Normally, I like to sleep in on Saturdays, but upon hearing yesterday's news about the Phillies looking to trade their resident ass, I had to wake up early to discuss this news with our readers (assuming any of you are awake at this time).

On Friday, several reports had Hamels updating his no-trade clause, which currently includes 20 teams he cannot be dealt to without his consent (the Mets are on this list because he knows Citi Field is a "no ass zone").  Interim team president Pat Gillick acknowledged that he doesn't expect the Phillies to be competitive for at least three seasons.  Therefore, keeping a $24 million a year pitcher until the final years of his contract when he's in his mid-30s and not as tradeable - well, that would be (ahem) phoolish.  Almost as foolish as the team giving him a six-year, $144 million deal to begin with.  Not to mention Ryan Howard's albatross of a contract, which still has two years and $50 million left on it, plus a $10 million buyout for the 2017 season.

Let's look at what the Phillies' version of the "core four" has done over the past few years and see how tradeable those players are.

Jimmy Rollins

Jimmy Rollins is entering the final year of his four-year, $44 million contract.  His career numbers are excellent (479 doubles, 111 triples, 216 homers, 453 stolen bases, 1,325 runs scored), but his best seasons are behind him.  Way, way behind him.  Rollins has batted over .252 just once in the last six seasons and has a .318 on-base percentage and .397 slugging percentage over that same time period.  That means Ruben Tejada has a better chance of reaching base (Tejada has a .328 OBP in five seasons as a Met) and Daniel Murphy can outslug the former NL MVP (Murphy has a lifetime .419 slugging percentage in six seasons despite never hitting more than 13 homers over a full season).

Oh, and did I mention that Rollins has made the third-most outs in the National League since 2009?  I didn't?  Well, I am now.  In fact, let's compare him to some of those other "out-makers".

Player	Outs Made	From	To	Age	G	PA	AB	R	H	2B	HR	RBI	BA	OBP	SLG	OPS
Hunter Pence	2812	2009	2014	26-31	953	4056	3701	537	1042	183	143	537	.282	.338	.464	.803
Brandon Phillips	2703	2009	2014	28-33	877	3794	3468	482	960	180	100	470	.277	.326	.424	.750
Jimmy Rollins	2625	2009	2014	30-35	839	3724	3359	480	845	172	91	343	.252	.318	.397	.714
Justin Upton	2510	2009	2014	21-26	883	3745	3291	540	919	181	147	482	.279	.357	.482	.839

Provided by Baseball-Reference.com: View Play Index Tool Used
Generated 10/25/2014.

From 2009 to 2014, the top four out-makers in the National League include Hunter Pence, Brandon Phillips, Justin Upton and Rollins.  Rollins has put himself on this list despite playing the fewest games of the foursome and having the fewest plate appearances, at-bats, runs scored, hits, doubles, homers and runs batted in.  He also has the lowest batting average (by far), on-base percentage, slugging percentage and OPS.  And most importantly, Rollins is the oldest player in the out-making firm of Pence, Phillips, Upton and Rollins.

If any team wants a soon-to-be 36-year-old shortstop who can learn a thing or two about reaching base from Ruben Tejada and slugging from Daniel Murphy, and who's only consistent about one thing at his advanced age - making outs - then Rollins is the man that team should target.  The bottom line is that Rollins is practically untradeable, especially if his decline continues in 2015.

Ryan Howard

Ryan Howard was once known for being one of the most feared hitters in the league, averaging 44 HR and 133 RBI from 2006 to 2011.  But beginning in 2012 (the first season of his five-year, $125 million contract), Howard has been known for a few "s"-words - strikeouts, Subway sandwiches and suckitude.

Over the past three seasons, Howard has averaged 101 games played per year due to an assortment of injuries, but that hasn't stopped him from striking out at an alarming rate.  Howard has whiffed 128 times per season since 2012 despite missing 182 games.  He has also averaged 16 homers and 65 RBI per year since 2012, and hit just 23 homers in 2014 despite being healthy all season (153 games played).  Howard had a career-low .380 slugging percentage in 2014 and led the majors in strikeouts with 190.  That's what $25 million a year buys the Phillies these days.

But hey, at least that kind of green can buy Howard all the Subway sandwiches he can eat (or are those called hoagies in Philadelphia?).

(GIF courtesy of Bill Baer at Crashburn Alley)

Chase Utley

In 2014, Chase Utley played 150+ games for the first time since 2009, but his final numbers were nowhere near what he produced in the Phillies' last pennant-winning season.  In 2009, Utley produced a .282/.397/.508 slash line, hit 31 homers (his third 30-homer campaign) and set new career highs with 23 stolen bases and 88 walks.  Five years later, Utley's first injury-free season since 2009 saw him produce a .270/.339/.407 slash line, 11 home runs, 10 stolen bases and just 53 walks.

Looking at Utley's five-year peak from 2005 to 2009 and comparing that to his last five years shows that Utley is a shadow of his former self.

• 2005-09: 151 games, .301/.388/.535, 39 doubles, 29 HR, 101 RBI, 111 runs scored
• 2010-14: 117 games, .270/.355/.435, 23 doubles, 13 HR, 60 RBI, 65 runs scored

Because of Utley's injury-free season in 2014, his $10 million salary in 2015 jumps up to $15 million, as there was a clause in his contract that guaranteed the 50% increase if he did not spend time on the disabled list with a knee injury in 2014.  A similar campaign will cause a $15 million option to kick in for 2016.  The same option applies to the 2017 and 2018 seasons.  Utley will earn $15 million per year if he collects 500 or more plate appearances in his previous campaign.  For the record, Utley played in 115 games in 2010 and 131 games in 2013, but still reached 500 plate appearances in both seasons.  In other words, the Phillies might be rooting for a long stint on the disabled list for their second baseman just to get out of a contract that could pay Utley $60 million between now and his age 39 season in 2018.

How are the Phillies going to be able to trade a guy who hasn't had a great season since 2009 to a team that would have to pay him top dollar if he stays on the field?  Utley's staying, for better or for worse.  Probably for worse.

Cole Hamels

And that brings us back to Cole Hamels.  The smiling ass still has four years and $96 million left on a contract that will pay him until he's 34, which means he'll be younger at the end of the deal than Rollins, Howard and Utley are right now.

As much as Hamels sucks against the Mets (ha, ha!), he is very good against everyone else.  In 2014, Hamels produced a career-best 2.46 ERA, reaching 200 innings for the sixth time in seven seasons.  Over the last five years, Hamels has averaged a 3.00 ERA, 1.119 WHIP and 204 strikeouts per season.  He is one of six pitchers to have 1,000 or more strikeouts since 2010.  The others are Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, Justin Verlander, Max Scherzer and David Price.  You probably recognize those names as pitchers who have won the Cy Young Award.  In fact, there are only three pitchers in all of baseball who have produced an ERA of 3.00 or lower, a WHIP not exceeding 1.12 and 1,000 strikeouts over the last five seasons.  Those pitchers are Kershaw, Hernandez and Hamels.

In other words, Cole Hamels might be an ass, but he's a mighty fine ass.

And this is a mighty fine picture of Cole Hamels.

Cole Hamels is just 30 years old (he'll be 31 in December).  Unlike his older homegrown teammates, Hamels is still quite productive, meaning he's actually earning his exorbitant salary.  But all of his quality starts have done little to help the Phillies win.  Over the last two seasons, Hamels has allowed two runs or fewer in 39 starts.  The Phillies lost 18 of those games.

Here is a list of every pitcher since 1901 who did not reach double digits in victories during a year in which he made at least 30 starts and produced a sub-2.50 ERA.

Player	Year	ERA	GS	W	Age	Tm	Lg	L	W-L%	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	BA	OBP	SLG	OPS
Cole Hamels	2014	2.46	30	9	30	PHI	NL	9	.500	204.2	176	60	56	59	198	.235	.296	.345	.641

Provided by Baseball-Reference.com: View Play Index Tool Used
Generated 10/25/2014.

Not exactly a long list, is it?  In fact, since the advent of divisional play in 1969, only two pitchers have come close to matching what Hamels did, and both names might look familiar to fans of National League baseball in New York.

Player	Year	ERA	GS	W	Age	Tm	Lg	L	W-L%	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	BA	OBP	SLG	OPS
Cole Hamels	2014	2.46	30	9	30	PHI	NL	9	.500	204.2	176	60	56	59	198	.235	.296	.345	.641
Matt Harvey	2013	2.27	26	9	24	NYM	NL	5	.643	178.1	135	46	45	31	191	.209	.248	.282	.530
Craig Swan	1978	2.43	28	9	27	NYM	NL	6	.600	207.1	164	62	56	58	125	.219	.275	.321	.597

Provided by Baseball-Reference.com: View Play Index Tool Used
Generated 10/25/2014.

Both Craig Swan and Matt Harvey failed to reach ten victories in their outstanding seasons, but each pitcher had a sub-2.50 ERA.  However, unlike Hamels, who made 30 starts in 2014, Swan and Harvey started 28 and 26 games, respectively, leaving Hamels all by his lonesome in the 30-start, 2.50-or-under-ERA, single-digit-victory club.

Imagine what Hamels could do for a team that, you know, actually scores runs.  It would behoove the Phillies to trade Hamels now, while he's still in his prime and is still putting up All-Star numbers.

Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Howard, Chase Utley and Cole Hamels are the Phillies' version of the "core four", as the quartet was originally drafted by Philadelphia and have spent a combined 47 seasons in the city of Brotherly Love.  But Rollins, Howard and Utley are all past their prime years and are playing like it.  Hamels is not.

"We're not amused that Iggy Beartran thinks we're past out prime." (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

For years, Cole Hamels has never endeared himself to Mets fans.  From calling the Mets chokers following the Phillies' 2008 championship season to costing R.A. Dickey a chance to toss the team's first no-hitter in 2010, Hamels has been the textbook definition of an ass.

During the 2009 World Series against the Yankees, Hamels admitted that he couldn't wait to go home while his teammates were trying to win a second championship.  If he wants to win more games, perhaps home for Hamels should be in a city that doesn't serve up steaks on a hoagie or poorly-timed quotes from its star pitcher.

Escaping from Philadelphia can help both the Phillies on a team level and Cole Hamels on a personal level.  Hopefully, if Hamels does get traded, it's to a team that has the Mets on its schedule.  That 8-14 career mark versus New York needs a few more 'L's on it.

Gettin' Iggy With It: Mets Kick Ass In Philly

Hi!  This is Iggy Beartran, your expert on all things Cole Hamels.  On Friday, the Mets traveled to Philadelphia to face the richest ass in the world.  Naturally, they were on like Donkey Kong, scoring six runs on ten hits off the smarmy southpaw.  But that's nothing new for the Mets, who can be seen beating up on Hamels almost as often as Mo Vaughn can be seen at the head of the line at an all-you-can-eat buffet.  (Almost.)

Cole Hamels, who was gunning for his 100th career victory on Friday, has lost 13 of 20 decisions to the Mets in his career.  His 13 losses are the second-most defeats by a Phillies pitcher against the Mets.  Meanwhile, sixteen Phillies pitchers have defeated the Mets more often than that smiling ass has.

But wait, there's more.

• Including Friday's game, Hamels has been touched for ten hits or more in eight of his 243 career starts, meaning that he allows double-digit hits approximately once every 30 starts.  But of those eight games with ten-plus hits allowed, four of them have come against the Mets.

• Since the beginning of the 2011 season, Hamels has allowed six or more runs in a game half a dozen times.  Three of those six games came against the Mets.

• David Wright is one of three players with 40 or more career at-bats versus Hamels to have a batting average over .340 against him.  (In 63 at-bats, Wright is hitting .349 against Hamels.)  The other two are Wright's former Mets teammates, Scott Hairston (.395) and Jose Reyes (.393).

• Cole Hamels has never allowed more than five homers to any one batter.  He has also never allowed any hitter to collect more than 15 RBI off him.  What has Wright done against him in those categories?  Five home runs, 15 RBI.

The Mets have not performed particularly well over the past five seasons.  But that's just because they haven't been able to face Cole Hamels 162 times a year.  Because of his comments about the Mets being choke artists following the 2008 campaign, Hamels has been viewed as a gigantic ass by Mets fans.  But the Mets have done nothing but knock him around for loss after loss since then.  In essence, they have been quite literally kicking ass every time they face him.

It's enough to make even his identical twin brother smile.

Gettin' Iggy With It: The Iggy Beartran Experience

Hi!  This is Iggy Beartran.  You may know me as the younger sister of Joey Beartran, who recently wrote a recap of our tours of Safeco Field and CenturyLink Field in Seattle.  (If you didn’t read it yet, shame on you!  You’re either way behind in your Studious Metsimus reading or you’re a relative of the Safeco Field tour guide that Joey trashed because of her inability to share accurate Seattle Mariner facts.)   In today’s edition of Gettin’ Iggy With It, I’d like to share my thoughts on the Seattle trip.  In particular, I’d like to discuss why I couldn’t help but think of the Mets and a certain other “fishy” division rival while I was touring the stadiums and the city in which they were located.

As far as the tours went, I actually didn’t have a problem with the Safeco Field tour.  I’m not into the history of the Seattle Mariners so I didn’t mind the mistakes made by our tour guide.  The Safeco Field tour reminded me of the Mets tour at Citi Field, where I spent an hour visiting things I didn’t care about (suites I can’t afford to sit in, the press box I’ll never write stories from because bloggers such as myself don’t get the love we deserve, etc.) and a minute or two on the field.  As with the tour at Citi Field, I was told that security wouldn’t be very pleased with me if I touched the grass because apparently, billionaire owners can’t spend a few bucks on replacing a blade of grass that might have been damaged by my eight-ounce furry body.  Then again, what would you expect from the Mariners and the Mets?  They need to spend their money on better things, like Oliver Perez.

The CenturyLink Field tour guide actually allowed us to stand on the turf, albeit just one corner of it, but at least she had a good reason not to let us frolic on the field.  The Washington Huskies were going to play a game on that same field just four hours after we placed our paws on it, so they couldn’t let us claim it for ourselves.  No worries.  We found other places to frolic!

The city itself was lots of fun!  We went to many places in Seattle, such as the Public Market (where guys throw expensive fish around like the Marlins toss around their high-priced players –  I mean, Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Josh Johnson to Toronto?  Great googly moogly!) and the iconic Space Needle, which looks quite a bit like the big syringe Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria must be using on himself before making these head-scratching trades.

The food in Seattle was even better than the food at Citi Field.  I never got to try the Ichi-roll (apparently, the Mariners don’t open their food courts during the off-season – bad business move in my opinion), but in downtown Seattle, I had the tastiest New England Clam Chowder ever made!!  Unfortunately, I ate it so fast that I don’t have photographic proof of this tasty meal so all I can give you is this photo from my breakfast trip to Denny’s.

So to recap this … uh … recap, I had great food in places other than Denny’s, the Marlins are selling off their players faster than you can say “the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire”, CenturyLink Field is pretty cool and bear-friendly, and Safeco Field wasn’t as bad as my brother described it, even if the team that plays there gladly employs Oliver Perez.  At least they’re not proud of the fact that they once had Rip Van Winkle himself on the team.  Oh wait, never mind.

That’s all for now, Mets fans.  I hope you enjoyed this edition of Gettin’ Iggy With It.  Till next time, keep your feet on the bases and keep an eye out for flying fish.  After all, you don’t want to get hit by a former Miami Marlin.

Gettin' Iggy With It: The Richest Ass In The World

Hi, everyone!  This is Iggy Beartran.  You may know me as the cute sister to Studious Metsimus roving reporter and culinary expert Joey Beartran, but I'm more than just looks.  I also have a brain.  And today my brain is thinking about the asinine contract the Phillies just gave to starting pitcher Cole Hamels.  Or should I say ASS-inine, because they just made Hamels the richest ass in the world.

In case you hadn't heard, the last place Phillies agreed to terms with Hamels on a six-year, $144 million contract.  The deal will keep him in the city of No Brotherly Love through the 2018 season.  There is also a vesting option for 2019.

I'm not a numbers gal, but I'll give them to you anyway.  Since making his debut for the Phillies in 2006, Hamels is 85-58 with a 3.38 ERA.  However, he has never won more than 15 games in a single season despite the Phillies averaging just under 95 victories per year since his first full season in 2007.  Even Steve Trachsel won more than 15 games in a season for the Mets, winning 16 in 2003.

Now I know what you're thinking.  I shouldn't judge Hamels by the number of wins (or lack of) he has.  After all, Felix Hernandez won the Cy Young Award in 2010 despite a mediocre 13-12 record.  Rather, I should judge him by whether or not Hamels can keep his team in the game.  Fair enough.  I had someone who doesn't fall asleep when looking at baseball stats do the research for me (thanks, Joey) and came up with the Phillies' record in games started by Hamels over his career:

• 2006: 23 starts, 13-10
• 2007: 28 starts, 19-9
• 2008: 33 starts, 19-14
• 2009: 32 starts, 16-16
• 2010: 33 starts, 18-15
• 2011: 31 starts, 18-13
• 2012: 19 starts, 12-7
• Overall: 199 starts, 115-84, .578 winning percentage

Okay, so a record of 31 games above .500 over the past seven seasons is not bad at all.  I'm sure many teams, including my beloved Mets, would love to have a pitcher like that.

But let's look at what the Phillies have done over those seven seasons to make a comparison between the team's overall record and their record in Hamels' starts.

• 2006: 85-77
• 2007: 89-73
• 2008: 92-70
• 2009: 93-69
• 2010: 97-65
• 2011: 102-60
• 2012: 43-54
• Overall:  1069 games, 601-468, .562 winning percentage

The Phillies have a better winning percentage in games started by Hamels since he made his debut in 2006, but Hamels has been playing for a contract in 2012.  Prior to 2012, the Phillies were 103-77 in Hamels' starts for a .572 winning percentage.  Meanwhile, over the same time period, the Phillies' overall record has been 558-414.  That's a .574 winning percentage.

So in years when Hamels isn't playing for a contract, the Phillies actually perform better when he's NOT on the mound as opposed to when he is.  But according to them, it makes good sense to lock up a pitcher into his mid-30s with a contract worth an average of $24 million per season when he gives them a worse chance to win the game, especially when he's not being motivated by the prospect of a lucrative deal.  But hey, it's not my money!

The Phillies will now be paying Cole Hamels, Ryan Howard, Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee a minimum of $20 million each in 2013, not to mention the $15 million that Chase Utley will be earning to miss his usual month or two of action.  Haven't they learned yet that doling out huge contracts to aging, fragile players always come back to bite you in the ass?

Then again, the Phillies have plenty of experience when it comes to signing an ass.  They're paying for it now with Shane Victorino, who has been the talk of many trade rumors.  They're paying for it with the plethora of injuries to their aging sluggers (Utley, Howard) and thirty-something pitchers (Halladay, Lee).  And they will pay for it with the ridiculous $50 million deal they gave to closer Jonathan Papelbon prior to this season.  But that didn't stop them from giving the second-most lucrative deal ever given to a starting pitcher (after CC Sabathia's deal with the Yankees) to Colbert Hamels.

Billy Crystal said it best in When Harry Met Sally.  In the first of many famous restaurant scenes with co-star Meg Ryan in the film, Crystal discussed why one of her ex-boyfriends could never have done what she claimed he could do:

"A Sheldon can do your income taxes.  If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man.  But humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit.   It's the name.  Do it to me, Sheldon.  You're an animal, Sheldon.  Ride me, big Sheldon.  It doesn't work."

The same thing applies to Colbert Hamels.  A Colbert can fix your aluminum siding.  If you need someone to clean your septic tank, who better than Colbert?  But earning $24 million per season to be a top-notch starting pitcher?  That's not a Colbert thing.

That type of money should only go to pitchers who are locks for the Hall of Fame.  As much as it pains me to compliment a Yankee, CC Sabathia is that type of pitcher.  He has earned his exorbitant salary and barring injury, should be a 300-game winner before he retires.  (At age 31, Sabathia is 14 wins away from 200, averaging 19 wins per season since 2007.)

Cole Hamels is not a Hall of Famer.  He isn't even worthy of cleaning my septic tank.  But he is an ass.  He is also a rich ass, agreeing to terms with the Phillies on the second-highest dollar amount ever given to a pitcher in major league history.

Let the Phillies spend their money however they want.  Hey, if they need someone to figure out how much they're going to pay in luxury tax fees next year because of all their eight-figure contracts, they can contact Sheldon.  (I hear he's good for that type of thing.)  I'll just continue to be a Mets fan, watching our general manager do things wisely so that the team doesn't get saddled with bad contracts.  All the Phillies put saddles on are asses like Cole Hamels.  Giddy up.

Cole Hamels is smiling all the way to the bank.

Gettin' Iggy With It: Nieuwenhuis, Yes! Niese, Not Yet!

Hi, everyone! My name is Iggy Beartran, the sister of Studious Metsimus co-blogger and bear about town, Joey Beartran. Although I’ve appeared in a number of photos used in Studious Metsimus posts, I had never written a blog post before because … well … I hadn’t learned how to read anything other than menus. Obviously, that also meant I hadn’t learned how to write either. But now, with the help of Joey and my twin sister Angel, I’ve learned that there is more to reading than being able to order a Mex Burger at Citi Field on my own. And now I’m sharing my first written words with you on a topic that is sure to be on the minds of all of our readers. Well, most of them. Okay, some of them. At least a dozen of them. Two, for sure.

So tell me, what do you think of those Jonathon Niese T-shirts for sale at Citi Field? What? You haven’t seen them there? Well, hey, you’re not alone. In fact, you can’t find Jonathon Niese shirts for sale anywhere inside Citi Field or at any of the team’s Clubhouse Shop locations in New York.

For those of you who are not aware of it, Niese has been a Met since 2008, when the Mets were still playing at Shea Stadium. Meanwhile, Ruben Tejada, who didn’t become an everyday player until this year, has an orange No. 11 shirt for sale at Citi Field. You can also find Justin Turner’s No. 2 shirt and Lucas Duda’s No. 21 on the racks. Duda did not become a regular until after Carlos Beltran’s trade to San Francisco last July and Turner has never been more than a super-utility player, a latter-day Joe McEwing, if you will.

That brings us to Kirk Noowen … Neuwin … Nieuwenhuis. (I told you I’m still learning. Don’t judge.) The Mets’ rookie outfielder has made quite a splash in the big leagues, providing clutch hits and superb outfield defense since being called up to the parent team when Andres Torres was placed on the disabled list after the Mets’ Opening Day victory. Still, he has just 100 or so at-bats in the majors, but that didn’t stop him from getting a spot on the merchandise racks at Citi Field.

That’s right, Mets fans. Kirk Nieuwenhuis has beaten Jonathon Niese to the T-shirt rack, as shown by yours truly in the photo below.

I can understand that the Mets are trying to capitalize on Kirk Nieuwenhuis’ popularity. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to contact Madison Avenue advertising executives to get him his own shampoo commercial. But why does the team continue to snub Niese when it comes to T-shirt sales?

Jonathon Niese has shown steady improvement from year to year. The Mets acknowledged that by channeling Toucan Sam, following their nose on Niese and locking up their southpaw starter with a five-year contract, the first long-term deal given to a player in the Sandy Alderson era. Niese is the only player contractually committed to the team through the year 2016. But the way things are going in the merchandising department, it might take until then for the Mets to sell a Niese shirt to the masses.

The Mets are no longer selling K-Rod’s No. 75, Beltran’s No. 15 and Reyes’ No. 7. How about instead of trying to shove their surplus of Jason Bay’s No. 44 shirts down our collective throats, they realize that their homegrown pitcher who is going to be with the team for quite some time can probably sell a shirt or two in his own right?

Fans are excited with the team’s unexpected good start. They’re also excited that the team is succeeding mostly due to its homegrown players, like David Wright, Daniel Murphy, Ruben Tejada, Kirk Nieuwenhuis, and yes, Jonathon Niese. If the Mets are going to sell their homegrown players’ shirts in the team store, then they need to add the shirt of the player they’ve committed the most time to.

It’s time for the Mets to get Iggy with it and add Jonathon Niese’s No. 49 to their team store inventory, reducing the space they have for Jason Bay’s shirts. If they’re worried about Bay’s shirts going to waste, they can always use his No. 44 shirts as tourniquets to be used for his next injury. Problem solved.