Tim Horton's Thrilled That Jason Bay Is A Met

Once Larry Walker retired from baseball, Canada needed another superstar baseball player to represent the country in the major leagues. After all, someone had to be able to sing the lyrics to "O, Canada" whenever a team played in Toronto. Enter the New York Mets' newest leftfielder, Jason Bay.

Although originally signed by Canada's first major league baseball team, the Montreal Expos, Jason Bay bounced around from team to team in the minor leagues. He exchanged his XXL Property of Montreal Expos T-shirt for a Mets shirt, which in turn became a San Diego Padres shirt, which in turn became a Pittsburgh Pirates shirt. It was in Pittsburgh that Bay became a household name in a household not run by the Bay Family.

After hitting at least 20 HR in five consecutive seasons for the Pirates, Bay had his best season for the Red Sox in 2009, when he hit 36 HR and collected 119 RBI. Now that he has re-acquired his Property of New York Mets T-shirt (Thanks, eBay for helping your cousin Jason Bay out), Madison Avenue will be knock-knock-knockin' on Jason's door.

Apparently, Canada's answer to Dunkin' Donuts (Tim Horton's) is jumping into the Bay fray, eh. In addition to making some excellent coffee, Tim Horton's is known for their delicious donuts and Timbits (see photo at the top of this blog). It has become the largest restaurant chain in Canada and has now expanded into eleven states south of the Canadian border, including New York.

Left field was where legends played at Shea Stadium. From Benny Agbayani to Tsuyoshi Shinjo, there was no shortage of talent in left field for the Mets. It's no secret that it's because of Shinjo that David Wright chose to wore #5 to honor the great Mets leftfielder.

To honor those greats who patrolled the vast left field expanse at Shea Stadium, the Mets and Dunkin' Donuts erected a large iced coffee cup to stand beyond the left field wall near the foul line.

Unfortunately, thanks to the photo below by Erik Goldstein, when Shea Stadium was torn down, the tribute to the leftfielders wasn't brought along to Citi Field. (Dang you, Wilpons for failing to notice that this was an important piece of Mets history!)

Tim Horton's is now trying to right a wrong. They are trying to bring a taste of Shea Stadium back to Citi Field. At the same time, they wanted to honor their fellow Canadian.

It is with great Canadian pride that Studious Metsimus announces that through a joint venture by the Mets and Tim Horton's, a large box of Timbits will be placed in the left field corner at Citi Field.

Since Section 133 was complaining that they were one of the few sections at Citi Field that didn't have any unobstructed views of the field, the box will be placed there so that no Mets fan will miss out on that classic Citi Field obstructed view.

Construction is set to begin once the Mets Hall of Fame and Museum is completed. Now that's what I'm talkin' aboot!

Baywatch Canceled; Mets Fans Thrilled, Hasselhoff Still Drunk

The Mets finally got their man. The beaches of Flushing are now safe thanks to Jason Bay patrolling its shores.

With a four-year, $66 million offer, the left field problem has now been solved and the Mets can move on to filling their other holes now that the Baywatch is no longer on the air.

Reactions from fans to the Bay signing has been mostly positive. Here are samples from some of them:


Joey B. from the Bronx: It's about time the Mets fixed their leak in left field. I'll be sitting in Section 138 next year and look forward to seeing Jason Bay up close and personal. I just hope he doesn't do anything special while I'm standing on line at Shake Shack for three innings or so.

Jerry S. from Long Island: Did you ever notice that Omar Minaya waits for holidays to acquire big names? Johan Santana was signed on Groundhog Day in 2008 and Pedro Martinez was acquired after Thanksgiving in 2004. Does that mean we should expect Bengie Molina on New Year's Day and another starting pitcher will be a Met on Martin Luther King Day? It looks like I'll be having a Happy Festivus indeed!

Tim R. from Hollywood: I'm glad the Mets made this acquisition. It takes the sting away from my breakup with my long-term partner, Sue. Did you know that we were together since 1986, the last year the Mets won the World Series? By the way, I heard the Mets are also looking for a pitcher and a catcher. My buddy, Crash, and I might be what you're looking for. You bloggers have some pull with the team, right?


Jay and S. Bob from Leonardo, NJ: My hetero-lifemate and I once smoked a fatty with Jason Bay before he came to the states from Canada. We were standing outside a Tim Horton's, he came by and bickety-bam. Before you know it, he was making waves in the majors, Berserker-style. Snoogans. Dude still owes me an Egg-A-Mooby Muffin, though.

David H. from the Betty Ford Clinic: Why is everyone making such a big deal about this? Is he big in Germany? No. I am! All this talk about Baywatch being canceled is making me sick. Now get me another burger and a beer! Hiccup!


There you have it, my friends. To recap, Jason Bay is a Met. Fans from Section 138 to some guy who asks too many questions to a few stoners who made a Quick Stop to talk to Studious Metsimus even though they weren't supposed to be here to a drunkard who claims to have been big in Germany all have their opinions on the signing. At least we finally have something to talk about!

Now excuse me while I calm down that David H. guy. Apparently, he's saying something about some Pamela A. chick and her beach volleyballs. At least, that's what I think he's saying.