Song Parody: Cee-Lo Green Tells Mets Fans To "Forget Lou"

The Mets-osphere is burning up with today's news that second baseman Luis Castillo was released by the team, who still owe him $6 million for the 2011 season. Castillo, along with the not-yet-but-soon-will-be-released Oliver Perez, were the poster boys for everything that went wrong during Citi Field's first two seasons.

While most people are saying "it's about time", at Studious Metsimus we're not saying it, we're singing it. Or rather, we're letting Cee-Lo Green do the honors.

Last year, Cee-Lo had a huge hit (something Luis Castillo knows very little about) with a song that didn't have the most family-friendly title ("F___ You"). In order to give the song more exposure, he also recorded an alternate version called "Forget You", which he performed with Gwyneth Paltrow at this year's Grammy Awards while dressed like the San Diego Chicken on steroids.

To show our appreciation of this modern crassic, I mean, classic, we have decided to pay tribute to Luis Castillo with our own version of the song. Now that Castillo is no longer in the second base picture, it's time to "Forget Lou":

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Yeah, I'm sorry we gave that money to Ollie.
But Derek Lowe was no longer there.
Perez got his contract while you got less money.
You still signed for a reasonable share.
I pity the club that tries to take this scrub.
(You think that he's a winner?)
Well!
(Your odds to win got thinner!)
Ooooooh!
I've got bad news for Lou...
Yeah, you're done; your Mets career is at an end.

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Now you know that we felt no sorrow
What we felt was the agony of defeat.
We tried to keep ya, we tried to please ya.
Then we thought we'd give your @$$ its release.
I pity the club that tries to take this scrub.
(You think that he's a winner?)
Well
(Your odds to win got thinner!)
Ooooooh!
I've got bad news for Lou...
Yeah, you're done; your Mets career is at an end.

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)

Now Louie, Louie, Louie, why're you, why're you getting so mad?
(So mad, so mad, so mad)
We're tired of your drama so we're tellin' ya
You're gone like a fad
(A fad, a fad, a fad)
So if you ask "uh, why?"... (Ugh!)
"Why?" (Ugh!)
"Why'd you release me?"
Oh! We hate you!
Oh! We all hate you!
Oh!

I see you hobbling up and down
On the team I love, and I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)
We needed change since that pop-up
That you muffed; I'm like...
FORGET LOU!
(And forget Ollie too!)

He said "if I was a pitcher, I'd still be wit' cha".
Not when you played like sh*t. (You played like sh*t!)
And when you feel pain in your chest
From when you fell down the steps, uh...
FORGET LOU!
(Boo! Boo! Boooooo!)


Special note: For your listening pleasure, here are Cee-Lo Green's "clean" and "not-so-clean" versions of the song. The first video is Cee-Lo's performance on the Grammy Awards. (That one's okay for the kiddies to watch.) The second video was taken from a performance on "Later...with Jools Holland", a British music television. That's the original (i.e. expletive-laden) version of the song. It's not safe for work, but it is safe for Mets fans who have often hurled those epithets at Luis Castillo. Enjoy!

Beltran And Francoeur To Receive Awards

The Mets might not have been inspirational on the field in 2009, but off the field, they remain inspirational to many of their fans. According to Marty Noble, two-thirds of the Mets' outfield will be honored with well-deserved awards in January at a dinner held by the New York chapter of the Baseball Writers' Association of America.

Carlos Beltran will receive the Joan Payson Award for his community service. His philanthropical efforts, which include his contributions to the Harlem RBI Foundation and his own Carlos Beltran Foundation will be rewarded with this prestigious award, which was named after the Mets' first owner.


Jeff Francoeur will be presented with the Ben Epstein-Dan Castellano Good Guy Award at the Dinner. The award, which is named after two former sportswriters for the Yankees and Mets, respectively, is given to the player who's...well...a good guy. Or in this case, it goes to the best good guy of all the good guys who are qualified to be the best at being good. Is that good enough?

Members of the Yankees will also be presented with three awards at the Dinner, but that's not important right now. They've gotten enough attention recently. We wouldn't want all that attention to go to their overpaid heads, would we?

Congratulations to Carlos Beltran and Jeff Francoeur for their great play on and off the field. Enjoy your awards. They are well-deserved. Hopefully next year, you can both share one, perhaps in the shape of a World Series trophy!

Song Parody: Omar the Red-Faced GM

The baseball season is over and GMs everywhere are preparing for next month's Winter Meetings. They will be shopping for free agents to present as stocking stuffers to their fanbase. That reminds me of the upcoming holiday season. It also reminds me that Studious Metsimus hasn't "composed" a song parody in a while.

Paying homage to the classic Christmas song composed by Johnny Marks and sung by Gene Autry in 1949 (back in the year when Yankee fans were doing midnight shopping for T-shirts commemorating their 12th championship), here is my alternate take on "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer", focusing on our beloved general manager. After all, now that players have begun filing for free agency, Omar has to make sure he makes this team competitive and not load it up with guys from the Land of Misfit Players. Let's hope this song helps.

Omar The Red-Faced GM
Going into buying mode
Looking for a first baseman
Hope his name is not Ross Gload

All of the angry Mets fans
Pleading that he signs big names
They'll never forgive Omar
He's the one who gets the blame.

Then on Winter Meetings Eve
Wilpon came to say
"Omar, perhaps if you might,
Don't use up my funds tonight."

That's why no Mets fan loves him
As they live in misery
Omar the Red-Faced GM
Soon you will be history!

There you have it. Now doesn't that get you into the Christmas spirit? It's going to be an interesting three and a half months until pitchers and catchers report. As the days get closer, there might be more song parodies. Omar might inadvertently write some of the lyrics if he doesn't put together the right team to compete in 2010.

Omar's legacy will be decided during this offseason and the upcoming 2010 baseball season. Will he be the man who brought the Mets back into World Series contention or will he be the man who caused Studious Metsimus to win a Grammy Award for best song parody?

For Omar's sake, it better be the former instead of the latter. Those Grammy Awards can hurt once they're shoved far up a person's @$$!