Remembering 9/11 With A Special Prayer

Studious Metsimus would like to wish the families of all the victims of the 9/11 attacks our prayers to comfort them and to let them know that they will never be forgotten.

In lieu of a Mets blog, we'd like our readers to share any thoughts they may have on what this day means to them and what they do to to honor the victims.

Here is a special poem that we have written for and dedicated to the families of the fallen. If any of those family members are reading this, know that you are always in our thoughts and prayers.



Stars above in the heavens
As we watch them from below
The innocent ones who left us
Before their time to go

Their lights will always shine bright
In the hearts and minds of us all
We will never give up fighting
We will rise up when we fall

In Pennsylvania and Washington
and New York, my hometown
We suffered a great tragedy
That threatened to keep us down

But we live in America
The greatest country of all
Where freedom is the reason
Our heads can stand up tall

We're proud for what we believe in
We'll stand up for our rights
For the police officers, the firefighters
The passengers on the flights

They left us far too early
But in the torch they passed
We'll carry it on for America
So our freedom will always last.



God bless the families of the heroes of 9/11. May their sacrifices never be forgotten. God bless America. May our flag always fly freely.

Fellow Mets fans, please put away your blue and orange for today and replace them with red, white and blue to honor our beloved country and all those who put their lives on the line to protect our colors.

Also, please remember to say a prayer for the fallen not only on 9/11 but every day. As Americans, it is our duty never to forget them. By remembering them, their light will always shine bright...

Joey's Soapbox: I Hate Renyel Pinto

This is Joey and yes, that is a picture of me pooping on Marlins' relief pitcher Renyel Pinto. I'm overdue for a Joey's Soapbox blog, so this piece will be entirely devoted to my newfound hatred for Pinto.

The Studious Metsimus staff arrived early at Citi Field on Wednesday night in the hopes of getting an exclusive interview with...well...anyone.

The Marlins were taking batting practice at the time and we settled in near the left field foul pole with our pencils and index cards ready for the interview. (Note: We would have used 21st century technological advances for the interview but our budget was limited in order to get chicken nachos.)

We spotted a crowd of Marlins players standing near the left field line, including the aforementioned Pinto and Leo Nuñez. Nuñez was more than willing to be interviewed and was going to come over for an interview (see photo, right), but Pinto called him back as a fly ball was approaching them. Nuñez never came back for the interview.

Later on, another Marlin hit a deep fly ball off the left field wall. (We're not sure who the player was, but we're sure he'll be traded before he's eligible for free agency.) The ball rolled near the foul line where we were standing. It seemed like the perfect time to get an interview AND a baseball.

I called out to Pinto to give us the ball and an interview and even did an embarrassing dance to get his attention. Pinto acknowledged us by attempting to do the same dance while facing in our direction. Truth be told, it looked less like a retaliatory dance and more like the Truffle Shuffle.

No. Not the Teufel Shuffle (although it is nice to see Tim Teufel show up in a Studious Metsimus blog). I said Truffle Shuffle. You know, Goonies...Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, Joey Pants, Mouth, one-eyed Willy, Sloth, CHUNK! Oh, just click here and you'll see what I mean. I bet Bill Webb doesn't have to go through this with his behind the scenes crew!

Back to the story. Renyel Pinto did his foolish dance and appeared to be coming over to give us the ball and the interview. Then he threw the ball in our direction. It fell short by about five feet. He then picked it up and threw it again. Short. One more try. Even shorter. By this time, Pinto was laughing and it was clear he was doing this to mock me. This was made more evident when he picked up the ball and handed it to a young Mets fan sitting two sections over from where we were.

As you can see by the photo to the right of this paragraph, I was confused by Pinto's cowardice to grant an interview to a bear. Did he think I was going to bite him? Do you see any teeth in the picture?

I was about to start an "OFF THE FIELD" chant similar to the one Mets fans used last year when the Mets where preparing the Shea Goodbye ceremonies after the last game of the season and the Marlins refused to leave the field in a timely manner, showing their audacity by scooping up some of the dirt at Shea!

Instead, I decided on a better form of revenge. I used up the entire Studious Metsimus budget and went up to our fav'rit chicken nacho stand. I asked for extra beans and cheese so that the picture seen at the top of this blog would have a little extra kick for Mr. Pinto.

Pinto seemed unaffected by my flatulent follies as he relieved starter Ricky Nolasco with one out in the seventh inning and proceeded to retire the two batters he faced. Then again, Pinto was named after a car that also did not care about the foul odor that was always emanating from it (see photo below), so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

The Marlins defeated the Mets Wednesday night by the final score of 6-3, but that wasn't the main story. The main story as far as I'm concerned was the lack of respect shown by Renyel Pinto towards me. By making fun of me, he also insulted the Mets and Mets bloggers as well.

It's okay. I'll get over it. There will be other interviews to conduct and I will bring home a baseball one day. For now, I'll just spread the word that Renyel Pinto is hated by this blogger and perhaps we can all come together when the Marlins visit Citi Field in 2010 with signs depicting a run-down Ford Pinto, assuming Renyel is still with the team.

Time to get off my soapbox. I've got some more chicken nachos to get through!

Meet The Mets (For Under A Dollar)

Good friends and fellow bloggers Squawker Jon and Squawker Lisa made their way to Citi Field tonight to meet the Mets (and yours truly)! They were able to get in for $0.97 a ticket. Despite those low prices, the stadium still looked more than half-empty. Even an optimist would have to say it was half not-filled. This got the writers at Studious Metsimus wondering (okay, just me and Joey) about other things you can still get for $0.97. We came up with an interesting list:

Two square inches of a ShamWow™. Hey, if a full size ShamWow™ can pick up cola just by laying it on top of the mess, two square inches should be enough. Plus, with two square inches, it won't take up much storage space. Besides, it's made in Germany. That's good enough for me.

Taco Bell! Why pay $9.00 for chicken nachos at Citi Field when you can spend less than $0.97 for similar fake Mexican food? Just remember that the sales tax in New York has gone up from 8.375% to 8.875%. That might make the 89¢ menu items cost more than the allotted 97¢ in our budget.

The original Studious Metsimus brain for the banner/logo thingie! The current banner is dy-no-mite! However, for 97¢, the old idea for the banner could be yours. Now that I'm looking at it, I think that's where they got the meat for the free hot dogs at Citi Field.

The Juan Samuel Grooming Kit. When Samuel was traded to the Mets in 1989 for Lenny Dykstra and Roger McDowell, he brought over his passion for hair care products. Now you can look your best for only 97¢ with this fantastic grooming kit. However, there are no longer free VHS copies of "Coming To America" included with this offer. Juan Samuel apologizes for the inconvenience.

A pitching lesson from Oliver Perez. Since he still has to feed his kids, he's going to need extra income. Therefore, 97¢ will get you and a friend pitching precision from Perez. It is not known whether Dr. James Andrews' cell phone number is included in the deal. For that matter, it is also not known if Ollie actually has kids. I smell a 97¢ scam!

There you have it, my fellow SMFs. If you can't get tickets to a Mets game for the low price that Jon and Lisa got them for, at least you can use that hard-earned cash and exchange it for something you need.

By the way, I'll give you two of those unused Studious Metsimus banner brains for less than 97¢. They were made in Germany, too. Try my product!

Beltran vs. Kobayashi: Wiener Takes All!

Carlos Beltran recently held a press conference thanking Cyclones fans for the love and support he received in Brooklyn during his rehab stint. To thank them, he announced a charity event where he would challenge World Champion Competitive Eater Takeru Kobayashi to a hot dog eating contest. Beltran was even photographed taunting Kobayashi at the official weigh-in (as seen in the Associated Press photo, above left).

Kobayashi accepted the challenge, feeling glad that he didn't have to go up against his main competition, Joey Chestnut.

The stage was set after the latest Cyclones game. However, there would be one change made to the contest, as per Omar Minaya. Kobayashi would be required to eat regular sized Nathan's Famous Franks while Don Carlos would be eating Nathan's Gummi Hot Dogs (see photo below).


The Kobayashi Kamp was furious at the development, but Minaya insisted on the change. He had been waiting for Beltran's return for nearly three months and was not going to let indigestion slow his return to the Mets. Plus, it was for charity. It was not going to be televised nationally on ESPN. Kobayashi was relieved when he was told that not even Studious Metsimus could get their cameras into the event. (He was lied to. We did. We're so evil like that.)

The contest began with Kobayashi scarfing down 10 hot dogs while Beltran was still having trouble opening the bag of gummi wieners. Frustrated at the unfortunate circumstances, Beltran was overheard saying:

"Why aren't these bags already open for me? Do they make Kamasutra boil his hot dogs himself before he eats them?"

Note: Studious Metsimus apologizes to the readers for what might be considered an off-color remark by Carlos Beltran. We know that Takeru's last name is Kobayashi, not Kamasutra. However, we are dedicated to being a serious site and will not alter anyone's quotes, even for the sake of political correctness. We have our integrity to uphold.

After some tense moments, the bag was opened, but not before the judges ruled that it was not against the competition's rules to have outside help in the opening of the bag. Therefore, thanks to the assistance of his eating manager, fluffy comedian Gabriel Iglesias (see photo left), Beltran began eating his gummies, sometimes by the handful in order to catch up to Kobayashi.

With seconds to spare, Beltran decided to make his move. He tried the hidden bun trick on Kobayashi. This is where Beltran adds another bun to his competitor's plate in the hopes that he eats it without noticing that there is no hot dog inside of it.

Well, (hot)doggone it if it didn't work! At the end of the competition, Beltran had eaten 55 gummi wieners to tie the 55 hot dogs that Kobayashi consumed. It appeared that the competition would be declared a draw between the two participants.

However, the judges noticed that Kobayashi had eaten 55 buns, not 55 hot dogs. He had only eaten 54 hot dogs, one short of the total number of gummi wieners eaten by Beltran. This caused obvious disappointment in the Kobayashi Kamp (see photo above right).

Therefore, due to the unfortunate "miscalculation" on Kobayashi's part, Beltran was proclaimed the winner of the charity event. For his accomplishment, he was given the coveted Mustard Belt and a lifetime supply of Nathan's beer battered onion rings.












Carlos Beltran has just about completed his rehab assignment in Brooklyn. If all goes well, he will make his return to the Mets next week during the series against the Florida Marlins at Citi Field. His Coney Island experience has included stops at Keyspan Park and Nathan's Famous Franks. All that's left is for him to ride the Cyclone and his visit will be complete.

However, I do have a word of advice to Don Carlos. Leave the Mustard Belt at home. You don't want to be knocked unconscious by it as you go up and down the famous wooden roller coaster. The Mets still haven't had a "disabled by bulky belt" transaction this year. We don't need you to be the first.

Special thanks to Efrain Rivera and Jason Bornstein for suggesting this topic. The readers can thank them for it, as does Studious Metsimus. Here's a Carlos Beltran bobblehead (sponsored by Nathan's of course) to thank you for your suggestions!

Phillies Happier About Mets Failures Than Their Own Successes

It's not enough for the Phillies to win a championship. They have to continue to shove it down the throats of Mets fans. I was looking for photos of Pedro Martinez in a Phillies jersey to include in a blog I was going to write about him and his great start for the city of Brotherly Hate. Instead I came across this website that sells their team merchandise. The page says that it's for Phillies World Series ring T-shirts. If you scan through the listings on the page, you'll find no such shirt, but you will find more shirts insulting the Mets and their fans than you'll find shirts praising the Phillies.

They even advertise the recent unassissted triple play turned by Eric Bruntlett against the Mets on a T-shirt, as seen on this link. They actually think a single play against a fourth-place team should be immortalized on a shirt. Do you think when they beat out the Marlins and the Braves for the division title this year, we'll be seeing shirts insulting them? No! It'll all be about the fact that they beat the Mets in the division.

If our fellow Mets fans were as classless as Phillies fans are, they would be proudly wearing T-shirts proclaiming the Phillies as the losingest team in baseball history or perhaps something featuring a design based on the photo shown here that Studious Metsimus fully approves:

I was just starting out as a baseball fan in 1980 when the Phillies won their only other championship. I don't recall any ill will or animosity towards the Mets then. The city reveled in their championship back then, as fans of any team should. The Mets won the World Series in 1986 and we celebrated our title without feeling the need to rub it in the noses of our competition.

I guess the Phillies and their fans are so accustomed to losing that even when they win, they have to be losers. The Mets and their fans will move on. We root for our team through good times and bad. The Phillies mean nothing to us.

The Phillies and their fans should stop focusing their attention on their rearview mirrors to look for the Mets and our fans. If they continue to do so, they might not notice what's on the road in front of them.

Separated At Birth: David Wright & Dark Helmet

David Wright returned to the Mets tonight, armed with his dangerous bat and his super-sized batting helmet. Keith Hernandez did not hide his distaste for the new protective chapeaus. He spent the first three innings of tonight's Mets-Rockies tilt giving the viewers his analysis of how the new batting helmets almost made him lose his appetite for Tootsie Pops.

Although the new protective headgear did look odd on David, it also looked awfully familiar. In fact, maybe these pictures will jar my memory a little:










Of course! The new helmets have been around since the 1980s! They were originally seen in the movie "Spaceballs". Rick Moranis wore the helmet in his role as the appropriately named Dark Helmet in the 1987 film, not that wearing it did him much good.

It's not the first time Rick Moranis has influenced a David Wright decision. Three years before "Spaceballs", he starred in "Ghostbusters", where the heroes were told "not to cross the streams" when combatting ectoplasmic poltergeists. It looks like David had no problems crossing streams with his mortal enemy, Derek Jeter, in this picture.

Rick Moranis and David Wright. No one has ever seen them in the same room. Separated at birth? Hey, stranger things have happened. Unfortunately, most of those things have taken place for members of the 2009 Mets. Welcome back, David!

DOs And DON'Ts For David

David Wright has been activated from the disabled list after spending the past two weeks there due to the old "fastball to the head" trick performed by Giants' pitcher Matt Cain. The failed trick gave Wright a concussion and sent him to the disabled list for the first time in his six-year career with the Mets.

Jerry Manuel will be cautious with his star player. He will play him every other day for the time being until Wright shows that his rhythm is back.

Wright must be very careful not to re-injure himself as concussions are nothing to be laughed at. Just ask former Met Ryan Church or John Rocker. I mean, all you have to do is look at John Rocker and you can see just how devastating the effects of a concussion can be.


Studious Metsimus would like to offer some advice to David. This "to do" list and "to don't" list for David will help him succeed upon his return to the lineup and will prevent him from injuring himself again. If you're reading, David, I hope you're paying close attention.

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Do celebrate with your teammates after they do well. Whether you celebrate with a congratulatory high-five or pat on the booty, this will show your appreciation of your teammates in a fun way and will build chemistry in the clubhouse.



Don't celebrate by choking the life out of each other. The Mets now have a no-choke clubhouse. The team should abide by the new rules and regulations. Besides, choking went out of style after the Yankees did it for four games in October 2004.

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Do come to bat and take your position on the field with a smile. If you look like you're enjoying your job, then you will be more relaxed. A relaxed David is a productive David. Relaxation is key to not aggravating symptoms of a concussion.


Don't make faces at the opposition, even if they are division rivals, unless if it's the Lollipop Guild (Jimmy Rollins and Shane "The Cryin' Hawaiian" Victorino). If you look like you're making fun of the team in the other dugout, they might take you out with a hard slide at third base.

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Do show off your sweet dance moves. Make Napoleon Dynamite jealous. Dancing is a good cardiovascular workout that will help the blood flow throughout the body. The more blood that gets to the brain, the healthier mind you will have. Healthy mind and body leads to healthy seasons on the field. Plus, you can register for "So You Think You Can Dance" so you can do something during the offseason.

Don't take up breakdancing. Ever. In fact, don't do anything that has the word "break" in it. That includes breakfast and bathroom breaks. Just have an early lunch and hold it in until then.

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Do show love for your equipment. These are your everyday tools that will give you success on the field. Just like plants, love makes them flourish. Of course, please watch out for splinters.

Don't show your bromance with Paul LoDuca on or off the field, no matter how many nineteen year olds he can introduce you to. The bromance and the comely co-eds will do nothing but distract you.

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Do your flying as close to the ground as possible. Higher elevations can affect concussions negatively due to the thinner air. It's best to stay as grounded as possible.

Don't join the Mile High Club. Because of your concussion, you might think you're up there with a beautiful woman but when you land, you'll realize that you were with Sloth from the Goonies instead.
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Do wear as much protection as you can on your head. Keith Hernandez might not like the new "pinhead" batting helmets, but in your case, any extra protection should be welcome.

Don't ever take pictures wearing scrubs again! It's bad enough we had to be without you for two weeks because Matt Cain decided to pick you out of the audience for his "fastball to the head" trick. We never want to see you in hospital attire again! Thanks for coming back to the Mets so soon and good luck for the rest of the season!

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The Very Late Recap: April 15, 2009

Studious Metsimus hasn't been around too long, so unfortunately, there have been games that could not be recapped for this site. We are doing our best to provide thorough Mets coverage for our SMFs. Therefore, we will take advantage of today's off-day in the Mets' schedule and present you with the recap of the April 15 victory over the Padres. It will be written as if the game was just played tonight. Enjoy!

The Mets played their second game at Citi Field tonight, after dropping the home opener two nights ago by the score of 6-5. Tonight's result was far better than Monday's, as the Mets showed why they are one of the best hitting teams in baseball with excellent starting pitching to boot!

Oliver Perez showed why he was worth his three-year, $36 million deal by shutting down the Padres in his six innings of work, giving up only one run and three hits, while walking only two and striking out four. He needed only 90 pitches to get through his night, showing how far he's come as a pitcher. Who needs Derek Lowe when the Mets can send out Ollie every fifth day?

The big four of Reyes, Beltran, Delgado and Wright all contributed to the offensive explosion. The always-healthy foursome combined to reach base nine times (five hits, four walks) and gave the Padres all sorts of problems.

The scoring began in the fourth inning when the Mets loaded the bases with no outs for Beltran, who proceeded to line an RBI single to plate the first run and keep the bases loaded for Gary Sheffield. Sheff grounded into a double play, which scored the second run of the inning. Brian Schneider ended the inning with a weak groundout to the pitcher. Although the Mets did not do more damage after loading the bases with no outs, this should not be the norm in 2009, as this lineup will produce many crooked numbers on the scoreboard.

The Padres scored a run against Perez in the fifth inning, but Ollie was able to use his newfound maturity on the mound to get out of the inning without any other runs scoring.

The Mets still had their 2-1 lead when Bobby Parnell took over for Perez in the seventh inning. Parnell looked like the real deal by pitching a 1-2-3 inning. It appears he will be a force on the Mets' staff for many years to come.

Seven was indeed the lucky number for the Mets as they added two more runs in the seventh inning. The key moment of the inning came when Jose Reyes used his speed to manufacture a run. With Reyes on first and Castillo on third, Reyes showed why he will be one of the top basestealers again in 2009. He stole second on a ball that got away from catcher Nick Hundley. When Hundley threw the ball away trying to unsuccesfully throw out Castillo at the plate, Reyes raced all the way around the bases to score the second run of the play. The two-run passed ball/error gave the Mets a commanding 6-1 lead, but they were not done yet.

J.J. Putz continued to dazzle for the Mets by pitching a scoreless eighth inning. The acquisition of Putz continues to prove the genius of Omar Minaya, who took a chance on the reliever who was injured in 2008, but is now paying great dividends for the Mets in their restructured bullpen.

The final blow was added by Carlos Delgado in the bottom of the eighth inning. He launched a long solo home run into the Pepsi Porch to give the Mets a 7-1 lead. In the last year of his contract, Delgado is poised for a big year, as the 500 home run mark is also within his reach. Fans should flock to the Pepsi Porch all year whenever Delgado comes up to bat as he will most likely deposit many home runs there.

After Sean Green got out of the ninth inning, giving up a meaningless run, the Mets left with their first victory at Citi Field, a 7-2 decision over the San Diego Padres. With more games like tonight, the Mets should have plenty of these wins at home.

With the win, the Mets improved to 4-4 on the season. They remain in fourth place for the time being, but do not expect them to stay there very long.

The combination of outstanding pitching by Oliver Perez and the hitters' ability to score early and often will keep the Mets in contention for a division title and supremacy in the National League. The one-two lefty punch of Santana and Perez will make the Phillies cower in the batter's box, especially when they face them down the stretch in September.

Ah, but we're getting ahead of ourselves. For now, it's only April, but fear not, Mets fans. The best is surely yet to come!

Billy Wagner Puts On His Sox

This is Joey and it's my turn to fill in on a Studious Metsimus blog. Today was a sad day for me as my beloved Billy Wagner made his debut for the Boston Red Sox.

After two final outings for the Mets at Citi Field last week, (two innings, no runs, no hits, one walk, four strikeouts), he brought his blazing fastball and deceptive slider to Fenway Park.

He has continued to dominate in the American League. Coming into the game in the top of the eighth inning today, Billy gave up a one-out double to Adam Lind. This did not faze the Sandman as he struck out the other three batters he faced.

How was he rewarded by Red Sox Nation for his dominant debut? By exiting the game to Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline". That never would have happened at Citi Field!

BFF Jonathan Papelbon did not come into the game in the ninth inning as the Red Sox held a commanding 7-0 lead over the Blue Jays, thereby negating a potential save situation.

The Red Sox had reported before the game that Papelbon would not be available for today's game because he had notched saves in each of the two previous games. However, our Studious Metsimus photographers were at Fenway Park last night and were able to take this picture of Papelbon (see photo, above right) punching himself in the groin after last night's save. We believe it was this crotch punching incident that kept him out of today's game.

With the acquisition of Billy Wagner, Boston has shortened the game to a seven-inning affair. Their bullpen is now one of the best in the major leagues and should fuel them in the hopes of securing a playoff berth.

This may be good for the Red Sox, but I'm still left with an empty feeling in my heart. Billy worked so hard to get back to the majors so he could help the Mets make a run in September. Unfortunately, that run never happened. I will continue to report on his outings, although my tears might prevent me from doing so occasionally.

For now, I will continue to remember Billy as the Mets' Sandman, the man whose bobblehead I will always treasure. You will always be a Met to me, no matter whose uniform you're wearing and the music that follows you when you leave the game. Neil Diamond? Meh!

Babe Ruth To Be Immortalized At Citi Field

Fred Wilpon has made it well-known that he grew up as a Brooklyn Dodger fan. His love of the Dodgers can be seen in the design of Citi Field. From the Ebbets Field-like exterior to the Jackie Robinson Rotunda to the Ebbets Club, Brooklyn Dodger references are everywhere at Citi Field. Even the '47 shop, which sells nostalgic apparel, is a reference to the 1947 Brooklyn Dodgers, a team that lost the World Series to the Yankees in seven games.

However, Fred Wilpon was born in 1936. That made him only two years old during the 1938 Brooklyn Dodgers season, which more than likely made him too young to immerse himself in Dodger blue. Imagine his surprise when he found out that Babe Ruth spent the 1938 season as a Dodger coach!

Wilpon has now decided to add a statue of Babe Ruth adjacent to the Taste of The City food court in center field to commemorate Ruth's one season in a Brooklyn Dodgers uniform. He has enlisted the experts behind the incredibly lifelike Craig Biggio statue in Houston (see photo, right) to design the Ruth statue. The uncanny resemblance to Biggio made Wilpon's choice that much easier. However, Wilpon has asked for mustard stains on the side of Ruth's Dodger cap instead of bird poop to better reflect Ruth's legacy. This also explains the positioning of the statue near the food court.

In addition to the statue, the Mets will be holding a Babe Ruth Day at Citi Field. In conjunction with the promotion, fans attending the game will receive a voucher for discounted hot dogs and beer. There will also be a barbershop quartet singing the National Anthem and God Bless America. They will be dressed in vintage Brooklyn Dodgers uniforms and will most likely look like this:


Will the fans approve of the latest Brooklyn Dodger reference at Citi Field? Will discounted hot dogs and beer bring them out to Babe Ruth Day? Will a bird leave a deposit on Ruth's statue anyway?

These questions and more will be answered at a later date. However, we at Studious Metsimus already have an idea since we're in tune with today's Mets fans. Brooklyn now has its own team to celebrate in the Cyclones. Dodger fans of yesteryear have now switched allegiances to the Mets. Therefore, there can only be one word to express what we think of the Babe Ruth statue and day at Citi Field and that word is...