Song Parody: Will R.A. Dickey "Smash Mouth" His Way To Being An "All-Star"?

R.A. Dickey is having a tremendous season for the New York Mets.  With the help of his trusty knuckleball, Dickey has fluttered his way to a 7-1 record, helping the Mets remain in contention in the uber-competitive National League East.

His start has caused some people to ask if Dickey should be rewarded with his first selection to the National League All-Star team.  I don't get to vote on that since I'm not a player, coach or manager.  But I do get to write song parodies on the topic.  (And I recommend that all players, coaches and managers keep their day jobs, as they should just not join me in the song parody business.  That's my thing.  You keep spitting out sunflower seeds and grabbing your crotches, as that's what you have experience in.)

Do you remember a little ditty by Smash Mouth from 1999 called "All-Star"?  Sure you do.  After all, it was absolutely everywhere then.  When you weren't "Livin' La Vida Loca" watching the Mets during their unforgettable 1999 season, you were humming the chorus to "All-Star".  (You better not have been humming "Summer Girls" by LFO.  LFO was LFAwful...)

So in honor of R.A. Dickey's outstanding start to the 2012 campaign, I present to you a reworking of "All-Star" by Smash Mouth.  It's not a true song parody.  Consider it an homage, if you will.  An homage to the classic song and to R.A. Dickey's classic performances on the mound.  I'm not even giving it a title.  Just enjoy it for what it is, a tribute to a great song and a great pitcher.


Somebody once told him he doesn't have an ulnar
The ligament that all pitchers have
It cost him a big bonus, so then he put the onus
On getting to the big leagues himself

Well, the years kept tickin', and he wasn't stickin'
He changed teams more than Wade Boggs ate chicken
Didn't make sense but he was having fun
His brain was smart and he wasn't done

So much to do, so much talent
So why couldn't he throw strike three?
The knuckler was the way to go
If he was to stay in the show

Hey now, he's an All-Star, got his game on, R.A.!
Hey now, he's a rock star, and now he's gettin' paid
All that flutters is gold
Dig those nails in and break the mold

New York's a cool place, but with him, it's just cooler
His knuckleball's floatin', it's quite the hitter fooler
But if any of them beg to differ
He'll wipe them up like a human Swiffer

The ice in his veins will never get thin
No one else used the Missouri for a swim
He won't yet retire, so come get yours
That's the way he likes it and he's ready for more

Hey now, he's an All-Star, got his game on, R.A.!
Hey now, he's a rock star, and now he's gettin' paid
All that flutters is gold
Dig those nails in and break the mold

Hey now, he's an All-Star, got his game on, R.A.!
Hey now, he's a rock star, and now he's gettin' paid
All that flutters is gold
He's a knuckle-star...

Somebody once asked if he'd throw a hitter gas
He said "I do when they lean over the plate"
They said "Yep.  I can accept
That you'd want the inner half for yourself
Or else you'd get hit all over the pla-a-a-a-ace."

Well, the years stopped tickin', and now he's stickin'
He not changing teams, but Boggs still eats chicken
Now it makes sense; he's still having fun
His brain's still smart; he still isn't done

So much to do, so much talent
Now he can't stop throwing strike three
The knuckler was the way to go
Now he's a fixture in the show!

Hey now, he's an All-Star, got his game on, R.A.!
Hey now, he's a rock star, and now he's gettin' paid
All that flutters is gold
Dig those nails in and break the mold

All that flutters is gold
Dig those nails in and break the mold...