Joey's Soapbox: My 2017 Not-At-All Biased LCS Picks

I feel like I've been here before.  I think the Cubs have been here before, too.

Hey, everyone!  It's just me, Joey Beartran.  And I'm back to tell you what will undoubtedly be the correct World Series matchup.  For about a nanosecond, I thought the Nationals were actually going to join the 1981 Expos as the only team in Montreal/Washington history to win a playoff series in the franchise's 49 seasons of existence, but then I remembered we're talking about the Nationals here.  To paraphrase an old saying, Washington is first in war, first in peace and first to make golf plans when the NLCS is being played.

In the Senior Circuit, we have a rematch of last year's semifinal series, but this time it's the Dodgers who finished the regular season with the best record and home field advantage, while the Cubs will be faced with playing a potential Game Seven on the road.  Over in the American League, the Houston Astros will attempt to become the first team to win pennants in both leagues, but to accomplish that feat, they'll have to defeat the team with the most pennants in history.

Will Los Angeles advance to the Fall Classic for the first time since they defeated the Mets in the 1988 NLCS?  Will Chicago become the first National League team to win consecutive pennants since the 2008-09 Phillies?  Will Houston stay strong all the way to baseball's greatest stage?  Or will that other New York team rise to the occasion?

There are only two ways to find out.  One is actually watching the games, but since they're all taking four-plus hours to play, you'll probably fall asleep before they end.  The easier way is to read my fearless predictions, because you know they're going to be correct.  And they certainly won't be biased.  At all.


American League Championship Series


New York Yankees vs. Houston Astros

In 1986, the Mets defeated Houston to advance to the World Series.  Nine years later, a certain Yankees employee named George Costanza told Astros executives that "no Yankee is ever coming to Houston."  Well, he was right for a little over 20 years.

                

Video courtesy of YouTube user thejog2k and his television set

The wild card Yankees have already knocked off the overachieving Twins and the underachieving Indians in the postseason to make it this far, while Houston coasted to a division title and made things look easy against the Red Sox in the division series.  The Yankees lost five of seven to the Astros during the regular season, but then again, they also lost five of seven to the Indians before taking three of five from Cleveland in the postseason.

Houston has two aces in its rotation in Dallas Kuechel and Justin Verlander.  Both pitchers have been successful against the Yankees in the postseason, as Kuechel and Verlander have combined to go 3-0 with a 2.83 ERA versus New York in five starts.  If they combine for four solid starts in this series, the Yankees won't be going to the World Series for the 41st time.

Even if the starters are ineffective, the Astros' bats can pick them up.  Jose Altuve, also known as the only player in baseball who's my height, will probably have as many hits in the series as Aaron Judge has strikeouts.  Marwin Gonzalez and Carlos Correa are both .300 hitters with power.  And you can bet former Yankees Brian McCann and Carlos Beltran are going to want to show their former team a thing or two about going far in the postseason.

I promise you I'm not being biased at all, but I'm convinced that not only will Houston defeat the Yankees in this series to advance to the World Series, they'll make it look easy.  As easy as Wally Backman was able to rattle Charlie Kerfeld over three decades ago when the Astros couldn't do to the Mets what they're about to do to the Yankees.

Prediction: Astros in 5.


National League Championship Series


Chicago Cubs vs. Los Angeles Dodgers

This is the Dodgers' fifth trip to the NLCS in the last ten seasons.  They've yet to win four games in any of their previous four appearances.  Meanwhile, the Cubs are making their third consecutive voyage to the NLCS, defeating L.A. last year after being pulverized by the Mets the year before.

Eventually, the Dodgers have to win a pennant, right?  After all, they've been to the World Series a total of 18 times in their proud history.  Well, eventually the Cubs had to win one as well.  And until last year, they went over 70 seasons without a World Series appearance.  The Dodgers can wait a little more before they consider themselves a long-suffering franchise.

Chicago just played a hard-fought series against Washington, eventually prevailing in five games.  Los Angeles made short work of the Arizona Diamondbacks and have been collecting dust waiting for the winner of the Cubs-Nationals series.  All that dust is going to make them cough a little through the early part of their series against the Cubs.

The North Siders pitched beautifully in the division series against the hard-hitting Nats, save for Game Five, when no one on either team could get anyone out.  They'll figure things out against the Dodgers and will take an early lead in the series.  But will they be able to close out the series and advance to defend their World Series title?  As long as they silence Justin Turner in the series (I can't believe I just said that), they shouldn't have a problem against the likes of Austin Barnes, Logan Forsythe and Yasiel Puig, who somehow combined to put a ridiculous .464/.531/.714 slash line in the Arizona series.

Clayton Kershaw isn't starting all seven games for the Dodgers, and even if he did, he'd probably give up another four homers like he did in his one start against the Diamondbacks.  Wait till next year, Dodgers.  Wait till next year.

Prediction: Cubs in 7.

After this NLCS, cubs like us might become Public Enemy No. 1 in Los Angeles.

This Weeks' MOOKIE Goes To...

Greetings, my fellow SMFs * and welcome to our first player of the week feature, also known as the Mookies! The entertainment world might have the Emmy Awards, the Grammy Awards and the Tony Awards. Heck, they even have the Razzies and the Bammies.

Studious Metsimus will not be left behind! The Mookie was created in honor of the man responsible for the greatest at-bat in Mets history. In Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, Mr. William Hayward Wilson tantalized the baseball world with a ten-pitch at-bat. Pitch #7 resulted in the game-tying wild pitch and pitch #10 resulted in the "little roller up along first". As a result, it should come to no one's surprise that this award had to be named after him. Besides, the Keithies, Dwighties and Darrylies didn't have the same je ne sais quoi as the Mookies.

Honorable mention goes to George Costanza. After consulting with his good friend, the Bubble Boy during a spirited game of Trivial Pursuit, they agreed to disagree on the Moopies as a possible name for the award. George submitted his suggestion inside a folder marked "The Pensky File". We at Studious Metsimus did not know what to make of the folder it was sent in. However, we do thank George for his contribution, even though it's obvious that his suggestion must have been a typo and he really meant to say Mookies.

Here are the candidates for this week's Mookies:

Angel Pagan

Angel has been running wild on the bases over the past seven days. From August 21-27, he hit at a .345 clip. His ten hits included three home runs, including the first inside-the-park home run in Citi Field history. He also scored seven runs as the Mets' leadoff hitter, drove in four more and swiped two bases.

However, he was also spotted at a Clay Aiken concert (see photo, above left) in a drunken stupor (which probably explains why he was at a Clay Aiken show). The photo also showed some unnamed Mets in attendance with him. Clearly, this was an up and down week for Pagan.

Luis Castillo

Louie Louie continued his torrid pace over the past seven games. His streak of consecutive multi-hit games ended at six, but he still managed to hit .385 and remembered to use two hands on the field and on the dugout handrail.

All this was overshadowed by his decision to grow a goatee in the shape of a baseball (see photo, above left). He has said that he will not shave until the team reaches the .500 mark. Expect him to have a softball goatee by the time spring training opens. A Met who decided to remain nameless wondered aloud if Luis knew that he had a ball on his chin.

Jeff Francoeur

Frenchy was an extra-base machine over the past week. He hit .346, but more than half of his hits went for extra bases, resulting in a .654 slugging percentage. He smoked three doubles and a home run. He also added a triple to his extra-base collection.

However, the only triple Mets fans will remember was the triple play he hit into last Sunday. Representing the winning run in the bottom of the ninth inning, Francoeur lined the ball into the glove of Eric "E-4" Bruntlett, who was covering second since the runners were running on the pitch. Bruntlett's fortunate positioning led to the first unassisted triple play to end a game in National League history.

So who gets this week's Mookie for his performance on the field? How about...

NONE OF THEM!

At Studious Metsimus, we demand perfection from any recipient of the coveted Mookie. This week's nominees had fine offensive weeks, but were not perfect, especially Angel Pagan. His off-the-field exploits were simply unforgivable!

Therefore, Mookie Wilson will hold on to his award for the time being. Perhaps next week, we will have a worthier candidate. If any current Mets player expects to be given a Mookie without completely earning it, he's in for a rude awakening!

*By the way, you may have noticed a star at the beginning of this post. That was not a George Costanza-influenced typo. That was intentional. It was meant to lead you down here. You may have noticed the term SMF and wondered what it meant. No, it does not stand for Sexy Mother F [shut yo mouth], as Prince suggested in his song from 1992.

It's the new term coined for readers of Studious Metsimus. After all, you're here because you're fans of the site. Therefore, you're all Studious Metsimus Fans, or SMFs for short. Have a great weekend, my fellow SMFs! Don't do anything embarrassing like this week's Mookie nominees did!