To Survive 2010, Mets Must Follow Zombieland Rules

Way back when, Studious Metsimus was known as Zombies and Comics and Bears...Oh My! It wasn't a very catchy title and nothing about it suggested that it was a blog about the Mets. Therefore, the change was made to Studious Metsimus and this silly little blog grew in size and popularity.

Now we have a film in theaters that would be perfect to talk about if this blog still had its original name. You know what? That's exactly what I'm going to do.

For anyone who hasn't seen Zombieland, I won't give you any spoilers. One of the recurring themes in the movie is the "rules to surviving a zombie attack". These rules don't necessarily have to apply to zombies. They could apply to the Mets as well. Read on and you shall see what I mean.

Rule #1: Cardio

If the Mets had practiced better baserunning, they wouldn't have lost games to the Dodgers (see Ryan Church) and Angel Pagan would have been a lock for an everyday position next year. Also, Jose Reyes and Carlos Delgado wouldn't have added a zero to the end of the 15 in 15-day disabled list.

Rule #2: Double Tap

Much had been made of Citi Field's dimensions as a reason why the Mets hit so few home runs there. They only hit 49 home runs in 81 home games. If that was the case, their opponents should have been equally affected. Not so, Cotton Eye Joe. Mets' pitchers gave up 81 HR at Citi Field. For the season, the Mets were out-homered 158-95.

A legitimate power hitter is a must for the Mets next season. However, more importantly, their pitching staff must give up much fewer home runs. If the Mets can turn those home runs allowed into doubles, they can tap into more success in 2010.

Rule #4: Seatbelts

Some injuries can be avoided quite easily. Just ask vehicularly challenged players from recent seasons, Duaner Sanchez and Tom Glavine. Also, using two hands when going down dugout steps can do the same for Luis Castillo and the Mets as seatbelts could have done for Sanchez and Glavine.

Rule #17: Don't Be A Hero

The 2010 Mets should learn from the mistake Jose Reyes made this season. There was no reason for him to come back in 2009. He tried anyway. Now his hamstring is worse than it was before and will require surgery. Reyes says he'll be 100% by Opening Day, but how sure can he be? Smiles will only get you so far. Not being a hero will get you further.

Rule #18: Limber Up

One should always be prepared when coming up to bat. Perhaps if David Wright had been more limber, he could've avoided Matt Cain's head-seeking missile. Perhaps if Carlos Delgado had worked out his hips a little more, he wouldn't have missed the last five months of the season. This may be the most important rule for 2010.

Rule #32: Enjoy The Little Things

Sure it was a lousy season. Even so-called experts could not have predicted a 70-92 season for the Mets. The team suffered through injuries and poor performances from certain players. But look on the bright side. No one died.

Seriously, Jeff Francoeur was a breath of fresh air, both on and off the field. The late season performances of Nelson Figueroa, Pat Misch and Tim Redding gave the Mets solid options in case of more injuries next year. Things will get better and we'll be able to enjoy them together. Let's Go Mets in 2010 (and go watch Zombieland, in theaters now)!

Separated At Birth: Studious Metsimus Style

The 2009 baseball season will soon be coming to an end. That will leave Studious Metsimus with no on-field Mets news to talk about. What is a fledgling blogger to do?

Well, I figured since I've analyzed so many games over the 2009 season, watched endless game films and inhaled all the pop-culture a person can legally subject himself to, I'd do a "Separated At Birth" blog. I've seen enough players on the Mets and other teams to notice some similarities between them and various other personalities. Let's see what you think:

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Tim Redding and Rob Halford:















Tim Redding started off poorly, went to bullpen in early July, returned as a starter in late August and has been rolling ever since.

Rob Halford started out beautifully, left Judas Priest in 1992, returned to the band in 2003 and has been rocking ever since.

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Felix Millan and John Oates:










Felix Millan played second base on some good and bad Mets teams in the 1970s.

John Oates played second fiddle to Daryl Hall on some good and bad Hall & Oates songs in the 1980s.

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John Rocker and Gene Simmons:











John Rocker played baseball for the Atlanta Braves and is a shameless self-demoter.

Gene Simmons plays bass for the band KISS and is a shameless self-promoter.

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Shane Victorino and John Travolta:














One is among the best actors of his time and played Vinnie Barbarino.

The other one likes cheese with his "whine" and is Shane Victorino.

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Cole Hamels and A Smiling Ass:












One of these is good looking, dependable, does what's expected of him and keeps his mouth shut at the right times.

The other one is Cole Hamels.

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Well, those are the similarities I found. If any of the SMFs can come up with any other athletes on the Mets or on other teams, please leave a comment with those who were separated at birth. I'll gladly give you credit in the next episode of Separated At Birth.

Time to prepare for a little Saturday Night Fever of my own (the doppelganger of Shane Victorino will NOT be a part of the festivities) by watching the Mets game. SMFs, I wish you all a great weekend!

Pedro Hammers The Final Nail In; Mets Lose 1-0

In 2007, the Phillies took the division from the Mets on the last day of the season after the Mets held a 7-game lead with 17 games to play. Pedro Martinez faced the Phillies once in those last 17 games and the Mets lost that game.

In 2008, the Mets held a 3½ game lead over the Phillies with 17 games to play. Pedro Martinez faced the Phillies once in September and the Mets lost that game.

In 2009, Pedro Martinez is now on the other side of the rivalry. The Phillies are now the team with 17 games left on their schedule. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Pedro Martinez pitched tonight in a Mets-Phillies game and the Mets lost.

Martinez was brilliant tonight as he pitched eight strong innings and threw 130 pitches in the Phillies’ 1-0 victory over the Mets. The loss officially eliminated the Mets from playoff contention and also guaranteed that their streak of four consecutive seasons with a winning record would not be extended.

There aren’t too many highlights to report in this recap. There certainly was one huge lowlight. Oh, Mr. Murphy, would you care to explain why you tried to take third base when the ball trickled away from the catcher with two outs in the eighth inning? Have you been hanging out with Angel Pagan again? This has happened way too many times this season and if Keith Hernandez was watching, he would immediately be calling for the proper “fundies” from the Mets. With one out, you take that chance, but not with two. Murphy’s baserunning faux pas (that’s French for “faux pas”) took the Mets out of their last good scoring opportunity.

Not everything went badly for the Mets in the game. After giving up a run in the first inning, Tim Redding matched Pedro Martinez pitch-for-pitch. Redding was brilliant in his six innings of work, allowing one run on only three hits, while walking two and striking out three. He did not allow the Phillies to lengthen their lead and at one point, he retired 14 consecutive batters. Unfortunately, just like John Maine lost Game 1 of the day-night doubleheader despite allowing only one run, Redding pitched even more effectively before ultimately suffering the same fate. He was surely a hard-luck loser tonight.

But alas, this was Pedro Martinez’s night to shine. This was the Pedro the Mets hoped to see on the day he signed his four-year deal back in 2005, when he thought he was going to take the Mets to the promised land. Now he has a chance to take the Phillies there, while the Mets watch them playing in October. Again. Somewhere in the distance I can hear Alanis Morissette asking “Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?”