National Crisis Averted

With a little help from the bats of David Wright and Ike Davis, plus the right weather conditions for R.A. Dickey’s knuckleball to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, the Mets avoided being swept in Washington and the greater embarrassment of coming home after a winless road trip against the division rivals directly ahead of them in the NL East standings.

How bad was this road trip before Thursday’s finale?  I’ll tell you how bad it was.  Davey Johnson offered some of his traditional dugout snack food (Rolaids) to Terry Collins to help him deal with the heartburn, heartache and heart stomping going on between the foul lines since the All-Star Break.

Okay, so the sharing of the Rolaids between past and present Mets skippers might not be entirely accurate, but after watching and listening to the team before and after their games this week, perhaps it should be the fans who start raiding Davey Johnson’s medicine cabinet for some vintage 1986 antacid tablets.

For example, on Tuesday Jordany Valdespin put on his Air Jordanys and sent a Tyler Clippard pitch flying into the night.  Valdespin had come into the game as a pinch-hitter for Jason Bay.  So did Terry Collins reward the ‘Spinster for his late-inning heroics?   Nope.  The next day, Jason Bay’s name was once again on the starting lineup card, while Valdespin was once again keeping Bay’s seat on the bench warm.

Then, on Wednesday, after the Mets had cut Washington’s lead in half, Collins gave the ball to Saturday’s starting pitcher, Miguel Batista to keep the Mets within a run of the Nationals.  That’s not last Saturday’s starter.  That’s this coming Saturday’s starter, as in three days after his relief effort.  So of course, Batista allowed two runs to the Nats, which ended up being the winning runs after the Mets hit two solo homers off closer Tyler Clippard in the ninth.  But of course, when Batista was interviewed after the game, he claimed the Mets were not only better than the Nationals, but that they were THE BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL!

Let me rewind that.

Batista, who gave up the runs that proved to be the winning tallies, doesn’t think there is any team in baseball better than the Mets.  Now I know Batista is a published novelist and poet, but I don’t think his poetic license extends to post-game interviews.  I mean, was he waxing poetic or was he just a poet who gets waxed by other hitters?  Seems to me as if the latter has been true more often than not, and by Terry Collins giving him a start on Saturday on two days rest, perhaps Batista is writing the final chapters of his Mets career.

Let me set the record straight.  The Mets are not the best team in baseball.  They’re not even the best team in New York.  Heck, I think a little league team or two in Queens might argue that the Mets aren’t even the best team in their own borough.  But they are a good team.  And sometimes that’s all you need to crash the postseason party.   But when they lose five straight games to teams that are standing behind the velvet rope checking for their IDs … well … let’s just say the Mets are going to have a tough time proving they should be invited to their exclusive shindig.

Terry Collins has to make better decisions as the manager.  The relief corps has to stop being the relief corpse.  And they should stop making stupid statements when they come off the field.  The only statements fans need to hear are ones made by the bats, gloves and arms between the foul lines.  That’s it.

By winning the series finale against Washington on Thursday, a National crisis was averted.  For now.  The Mets could once again be in crisis mode when the Nats visit Citi Field for a crucial three-game series next week.  But only if they fail to play the way we know they can play.  With heart.  With cojones.  With a desire to win.  With the passion they showed during the first half.  Are those Mets still with us?  Let’s hope so.   

The Worst Team Money Could Buy: The Sequel

Back in 1992, the Mets added four new faces to the team in the hopes that they could recapture the glory days of the recently concluded 1980s. In new manager Jeff Torborg, first baseman Eddie Murray, outfielder Bobby Bonilla and pitcher Bret Saberhagen, the Mets thought they could knock off the two-time NL East champion Pittsburgh Pirates from their perch atop the division.

Not only did they not dethrone the Pirates, they completely fell apart, finishing the 1992 season with a 72-90 record. That was good for a fifth place finish in the NL East, 24 games behind the three-peating Bucs.

The 1992 Mets employed many high-priced players and fading veterans. They also had quite a bit of turmoil in the clubhouse. That combination of poor play and off-the-field distractions served as the impetus for the book by Bob Klapisch and John Harper called "The Worst Team Money Could Buy: The Collapse of The New York Mets".

So why is this relevant now in 2010? Because the last Mets team to begin their season with a 2-6 record was the 1992 Mets. That start has now been duplicated by the 2010 Mets.

Jeff Torborg was never the right man for the job in 1992. The 1992 Mets had to deal with injuries and players bouncing in and out of the lineup. Only Eddie Murray, Bobby Bonilla and Dick Schofield (yes, he was actually the Mets' shortstop that year, forming a double play combo with Willie Randolph!) collected over 400 at-bats in 1992. Sound familiar?

Now we're in 2010. Jerry Manuel's leadership skills are being questioned and the Mets are playing musical chairs with their lineup on a daily basis. There appears to be no continuity from game to game and the Mets have not established anything other than their position in last place.

The team appears lost and is allowing pitchers like Greg Smith and Tyler Clippard to do their best Cy Young impersonations against the high-priced bats the Mets send up to the plate day in and day out.

Although the "it's still early" mantra can still be used, the Mets are showing no sign of wanting to get out of their early season funk. There is no fire burning in the eyes of the players and they're running out of excuses. They can't use the "when we get healthy" excuse because the Phillies have Joe Blanton, J.C. Romero, Brad Lidge and now Jimmy Rollins all on the disabled list, yet they're still sitting pretty atop the division with a 7-1 record.

The Mets are only eight games into the 2010 season and they're already five games behind the first place Phillies. I don't want to give up on the season so early, but the Mets have not shown me anything that could give me even a sliver of hope that they're going to turn this sinking ship around. To borrow the team slogan, I'd like to believe the team will come back this year, but for now, it's beginning to look a lot like 1992. The 2010 Mets are probably not the worst team money could buy, but they sure aren't doing much to play like the best.

No Wonder Tyler Clippard Is A Met Killer

Tyler Clippard made his major league debut against the Mets on May 20, 2007 at Shea Stadium. The bastard child of Ron Howard and Sloth from "The Goonies" started the finale of the Subway Series, a series the Mets were attempting to sweep. The sweep did not happen, as Clippard pitched six tremendous innings, holding the Mets to just three hits and striking out six batters.

After making six appearances (all starts) for the Yankees in 2007, Clippard was traded to the Washington Nationals for the man whose name I love to yodel, Jonathan Albaladejo.

Sloth Howard made two uneventful starts for the Nationals in 2008 before Washington converted him into a reliever in 2009, a position in which he has flourished. Since his transition to the bullpen, he has pitched in 44 games and has a 2.43 ERA and a 1.09 WHIP in those games. He has also struck out 75 batters in 66.2 innings and held opponents to a .188 batting average (39 hits in 227 at-bats).

Yes, he has been good, but he has been exceptionally good against the Mets. In yesterday's game, he faced 10 batters and struck out seven of them. The seventh inning was Clippard's most impressive inning. He struck out the heart of the Mets order (David Wright, Jason Bay and Jeff Francoeur) on only 12 pitches. All three batters struck out swinging.

Is it steroids? No. Despite the fact that Clippard's balls are clearly enlarged (see photo, right), his body takes after Ron Howard's side of the family, not Sloth's side.

Is it the pitching coach? Please! The Nationals' pitching coach is Steve McCatty. He was a .500 pitcher when he played for the Oakland Athletics from 1977-1985 (63-63 career record).

McCatty was known for two things. He's known for his miracle 1981 season, when he went 14-7 with a 2.33 ERA and finished second in the Cy Young Award balloting. He's also known for the fact that he couldn't strike anyone out. McCatty struck out only 541 batters over a career that spanned 1188.1 innings. He rarely even got to two strikes on any batter. He had no problems getting to four balls, as he walked 520 batters. This is the man we're supposed to believe turned Tyler Clippard into the über-pitcher he has become? No.

The reason why Tyler Clippard has become the Met killer whose large balls strike fear into the bats of the orange and blue is simple. He studied at the academy with the quiet name, PSSST, which stands for Pitching School of Smiley, Smith and Tomlin. That's right, Mets fans. I'm talking about former Pirate pitchers and Met killers John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin.



The fearsome threesome was contacted by Tyler Clippard to help him strike fear into the hearts of the Mets. As any long-time Mets fan would know, John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin were three lefties all called upon by then-Pirates manager Jim Leyland to shut down the Mets offense. And shut them down, they did!

Here are the stats compiled by the founders of the PSSST Academy over their careers, followed by what they did against the New York Mets:

• John Smiley (career): 126-110 record (.550 winning pct.), 3.80 ERA, 1.23 WHIP
• John Smiley (vs. Mets): 14-10 record (.583 winning pct.), 3.11 ERA, 0.99 WHIP

• Zane Smith (career): 100-115 record (.465 winning pct.), 3.74 ERA, 1.34 WHIP
• Zane Smith (vs. Mets): 10-9 record (.526 winning pct.), 2.26 ERA, 1.10 WHIP

• Randy Tomlin (career): 30-31 record (.492 winning pct.), 3.43 ERA, 1.25 WHIP
• Randy Tomlin (vs. Mets): 9-0 record (1.000 winning pct.), 2.05 ERA, 0.95 WHIP

As you can see, the Mets appeared to be the one team that kept these guys in the major leagues. They were merely pedestrian against all other teams, but turned into Juan Marichal (who won his first 19 decisions against the Mets) whenever the Mets stepped into the batters box.

Apparently, the motto of PSSST (Beat the Mets, beat the Mets, step right up and defeat the Mets) was ingrained so well into Clippard's psyche that he decided to extend it to apply to other major league teams. He not only beats the Mets now, he handles every other team as well.

It is for this reason that PSSST kicked him out of their academy. They were upset that Clippard did not ONLY defeat the Mets. Their policy of pitching well enough to defeat the Mets but no one else apparently didn't sit well with Clippard and so he was politely removed from the academy and went back to the Nationals.

The Mets never did well against John Smiley, Zane Smith and Randy Tomlin. Now one of their former disciples is doing the same to the current team. Tyler Clippard is a Washington National, a division rival of the Mets. The Mets will face Washington 18 times this year. The Mets will have to make some noise against Clippard or the student of PSSST will continue to silence their bats.

Joey's Soapbox: No More Mr. Nice Bear

You may know me as the cute half of the Studious Metsimus staff. I'm the roving reporter and the culinary expert of the staff. I write about all the fun aspects of being a Mets fan, like meeting players and eating chicken nachos at Citi Field.

But I was at Saturday's game against the Washington Nationals and witnessed many things that made my fur crawl. That's why the poofball hat is coming off. It's no more Mr. Nice Bear!


Willy Taveras

If you look up the word "slap hitter" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of Willy Taveras. He makes Luis Castillo look like Albert Pujols (a permanently limping Albert Pujols). Before Saturday's game, Taveras had accumulated 2,609 at-bats in the major leagues and had only driven in 124 runs. To say Taveras is a good run-producer is like saying Ted Nugent is a good spokesman for PETA.

So what did Willy Taveras do against Oliver Perez and the Mets on Saturday? He drove in all four Washington runs! Needless to say, it was the first time in Taveras' career that he collected four RBI in one game.

Willy Taveras batted eighth for the Nationals during the matinee. In 2008, Taveras led the National League with 68 SB (breaking Jose Reyes' three-year reign as NL stolen base king). Why would a team bat a speedster in the eighth spot? BECAUSE HE CAN'T HIT! Taveras is like the modern day Willie Mays Hayes. All flash and dash, but no hits and grits. On Saturday, Taveras showed some grit and came through in two different RBI situations. Because Oliver Perez wasn't more careful with the man batting directly in front of the pitcher, he was burned by the one-dimensional Taveras.

Strike one!


Tyler Clippard

In 2007, the Mets were playing the Yankees in an interleague series at Shea Stadium. The Mets were coming off their first season since 1988 that they were playing baseball after the Yankees had played their final game. After taking the first two games of the series, Mets fans were poised for a sweep of the hated Yankees.

When the Yankees announced that Darrell Rasner would not be making his scheduled start because of a broken finger, Mets fans salivated at the thought that some no-name by the name of Tyler Clippard would be starting. (Yes, I know it's a contradiction to say he's a no-name and then name him, but is this blog called "Studious Metsimus Reader Soapbox"? No, it's called "Joey's Soapbox", so I don't want to hear anyone correcting me!)

Of course, the Yankee Clippard pitched beautifully in his first major league start, giving up only three hits over six innings and the Yankees avoided being swept by the Mets.

On Saturday, Clippard (who was voted by his high school classmates to be the one most likely to play Sloth in "The Goonies" remake) faced the Mets again, this time as a member of the Washington Nationals.

Clippard faced them in relief of starter John Lannan, after Lannan pitched five shaky innings. Maybe he used some of One-Eyed Willy's treasure, (this is different than One-Dimensional Willy, who was mentioned earlier. Pay attention, people. That was just another "Goonies" reference.) but Clippard was outstanding against the Mets once again, pitching three scoreless innings and striking out seven batters.

Perhaps Tyler should change his last name from Clippard to Klippard, because he seemed to corner the "K" market at Citi Field. No Met batter struck out during the first four innings. Then Sloth came into the game and made the Mets whiff early and often. As if Citi Field wasn't windy enough, the Mets' bats had to generate more wind from all the swinging and missing!

Strike two!


Willie Harris

Even a casual Mets fan should know who Willie Harris is. He is the outfielder's version of umpire Angel Hernandez, meaning he lives to screw the Mets. First, he made this game-saving catch as a member of the Atlanta Braves on August 9, 2007.

The ninth-inning shot hit by Carlos Delgado would have been a dramatic game-tying home run. Instead, it became a long out and helped preserve a 7-6 Braves victory. In a season where the Mets lost the division title (and the wild-card) on the final day of the season, any additional victory could have sent the Mets into the playoffs. Willie Harris' catch might have been just as crucial to dashing the Mets' postseason hopes as any of the million games they lost after the "17 games to go" point of the season.

Then on May 15, 2008, Willie Harris made this catch against the Mets, this time as a member of the Washington Nationals, but also at Shea.

The catch on a ball hit by Ryan Church helped preserve a 1-0 win by the Nationals, spoiling a brilliant effort by Mike Pelfrey, and led to Billy Wagner's infamous "you should be talking to those guys over there...oh, they're not here...big shock" post-game comments.

By the way, the Mets lost the wild card to the Brewers on the final day of the 2008 season. One more victory during the season, yada, yada, yada...you know where I'm going with this.

Fast forward to Saturday's game against the Nationals. Josh Willingham had started in left field for Washington and had failed to make this catch on a ball hit by David Wright.

Since Willingham is not known for his defense, Willie Harris was inserted into the game as a late-inning defensive replacement. In the ninth inning, the Mets loaded the bases with two outs. Up came Rod Barajas, who had hit two home runs against the Nationals in the series opener on Friday night.

This time, Barajas smoked a line drive to left field that Gary Cohen immediately called as a base hit on SNY. The only problem was that it wasn't. Willie Harris was in left field, not Josh Willingham. There's no need to post a picture of what happened. I think you already know.

Why do I hate Willie Harris more than the average Mets fan? Perhaps the photo below will explain it for me.

That's right. I was at all three games where Willie Harris snatched potential victories away from the Mets. There are no words for how I feel about Willie Harris. In fact, I will say nothing else about him other than...

Strike three!


I want to be a nice bear. My fans expect that from me. But sometimes the Mets make it impossible for me to keep the cuteness façade up. Saturday was one of those days.

My Studious Metsimus colleague tells me that I should remember that the 1986 Mets also started out with a 2-3 record before they turned it around and ended up winning 108 regular season games and the World Series. He might be right, but those Mets never had to face Willy Taveras, Tyler Clippard and Willie Harris.

All I know is that if the Mets continue to lose games they should win, Mr. Nice Bear might never come back. Be afraid, be very afraid.