Friday, August 7, 2009

Injured Player of The Week Award: Week of 8/1-8/7

The ZCB Injured Player of The Week Award could go to any number of candidates. As usual, there was no shortage of injuries over the past seven days. Let's take a look at this week's nominations:

Luis Castillo: After grounding out on August 4, he took a stumble down the dugout steps, injuring his leg. He has not played since he became acquainted with the dugout floor.

Jonathon Niese: He covered first base awkwardly during a failed attempt to complete a double play on August 5. After throwing his first warmup pitch to test his leg, he collapsed in a heap on the mound. Niese had to be helped off the field and will now miss the rest of the season after suffering a complete tear of his upper right hamstring tendon.

Gary Sheffield: Sheffield hit a line drive off the left field wall at Citi Field on August 5. What appeared to be an easy double turned into a painful single, as Sheffield aggravated the hamstring injury that put him on the 15-day DL in July. Although he has been able to take batting practice, he has not started a game since Wednesday.

So who wins this week's award? Although Luis Castillo's injury gave him a pretty cool nickname (Luis "I now use two hands, but not on the handrail" Castillo), this week's award goes to...


SEAN "NO NECK" GREEN!

In a shocking upset, Sean Green is the recipient of the IPW award. He came into the game on August 4 in the tenth inning. The game was tied 7-7, with the bases loaded and two men out. Mark DeRosa was Green's first batter as Albert PooHoles salivated on deck. One pitch later, DeRosa went ouchie as Green forced in the go-ahead run with a hit batsman. With the bases still loaded, Green was left in the game to pitch to PooHoles, who feasted on an 0-2 pitch by launching it into the left field seats for a grand slam. Green did not watch the pitch leave the ballpark as he has no neck.

Green then forgot about his secret identity as the masked adventurer, Captain Obvious, when he offered this quip to reporters after the game:

"That's not how I had it planned out."

For his achievements in giving Mark DeRosa a boo boo, giving Mets fans a brain cramp and inadvertently revealing his secret identity to the world, ZCB presents Sean Green with the Injured Player of The Week Award. He may not be physically injured right now, but he should be.




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