Song Parody Time: I Want Ollie Demoted

Anyone who knows me is well aware that I consider the Ramones to be the greatest American band ever. The early deaths of Joey Ramone (above right), Johnny Ramone (second from right) and Dee Dee Ramone (above left) have done nothing to erase them from the public consciousness.

Whenever the Mets need a rally, the Citi Field speakers send out the classic first four words of "Blitzkrieg Bop". "Hey ho, let's go" has preceeded many rallies, not only at Citi Field, but in ballparks around the country.

Therefore, I would like to apologize to the Ramones for what I'm about to do. I'm about to write a song parody based on their classic track "I Wanna Be Sedated". It's not the parody itself that I'm apologizing for. It's the subject of the parody, Oliver Perez. It's no secret that Ollie has been the $0.36 man instead of the $36 million man this season. As he prepares for season-ending surgery, which should have taken place in April, let's all bop till we drop to the latest Studious Metsimus song parody, entitled "I Want Ollie Demoted":

When he, when he, when he goes out to throw
I want Ollie demoted
Hasn't a clue and has no control
I want Ollie demoted

Just get him to the airport
Put him on the plane
Hurry, hurry, hurry
Before we go insane
He can't control his pitches
He can't control the game
Send him to Buffalo

When he, when he, when he goes out to throw
I want Ollie demoted
Hasn't a clue and has no control
I want Ollie demoted

Just put him in a wheelchair
Take him to the O.R.
Hurry, hurry, hurry
And make him an All-Star
But you can't perform miracles
Meds haven't come that far
It's off to Buffalo

Bam, bam, ba-bam, pitch for the Bisons
I want Ollie demoted
Bam, bam, ba-bam, I want your millions
I want Ollie demoted
Bam, bam, ba-bam, sing with me, Mets fans
I want Ollie demoted
Bam, bam, ba-bam, we've done all we can
I want Ollie demoted