The Wait Is Over! Mets Clinch Fourth!

September 20, 2009 is a day Mets fans will always remember. After a season filled with four thousand injuries, three Fernandos, two chicken nachos and a partridge in a pear tree, the Mets finally got to celebrate something today.

Their season-long goal (and by season-long, I mean their goal for the past two days) of finishing in fourth place has been reached. Fans, take Jesse Orosco's lead and throw your glove up in the air and shoot silly string like you just don't care.

The Mets needed two wins this weekend against the pesky Nats to bury them in last place and they did just that. It wasn't easy. Early on in the season, Washington appeared to be on pace to set the all-time record for losses in a season, also held by the Mets. Not wanting to have the legendary 1962 team removed from the record books, the Mets allowed the Nats to take two out of three against them in late July. After it looked obvious that Washington was not going to lose the 120 games the Mets lost in their inaugural season, the quest for fourth place began in earnest.

This year, there would be no choke. The Mets put the Nationals on their knees and spanked them into oblivion. Now that they've clinched, they have a new goal in sight. They want to finish 71-91. Why that record? Allow me to 'splain with a brightly colored example.

• 1974: Mets finish 71-91; 1975: Mets improve to 82-80.
• 1996: Mets finish 71-91; 1997: Mets improve to 88-74.
• 2004: Mets finish 71-91; 2005: Mets improve to 83-79.

In their first 47 seasons of existence, the Mets finished with a 71-91 record three times. All three times, they finished with a winning record the following season. Therefore, since history always repeats itself whenever Studious Metsimus talks about it, a 71-91 record in 2009 bodes well for the 2010 season.

Clinchers. They're always a special moment for any baseball team. Studious Metsimus has been fortunate to have representatives at the 2006 NL East division clincher and the 2009 fourth place clincher.

Please note that in 2006, upper deck seats for the clincher cost $9.00 per ticket. Three years later for the 2009 clincher, similar seats in Citi Field's Promenade Level were $25.00 per ticket. Then again, look how aesthetically pleasing this year's tickets are compared to the drab 2006 tickets.

We hope to be at the 2010 clincher as well. Maybe it can be a third-place clincher (with a winning record, of course). Then we can all pop open the wine coolers in celebration!

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Special Edition of Joey's Soapbox:

After celebrating the clincher at Citi Field today with a Mets cannoli (mmm, blue and orange sprinkles), I did some research on wine coolers in the event the Mets need them for a possible third-place finish in 2010. Here's what I discovered:

The official wine cooler of Major League Baseball is Bartles & Jaymes. You may remember the ads from the late 80s and early 90s featuring two elderly gentlemen pitching their product. One of them spoke and the other one didn't. (Jay & Silent Bob and Penn & Teller owe EVERYTHING to them!) The catchphrase at the end of each commercial was "thank you for your support". Now do you remember? Well, just say that you do so I can move on!

Anyway, teams that clinch third place spray Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers on each other in the clubhouse after the last out of the clinching game. It has come to my attention that Bartles & Jaymes has followed the current trend of shortening its name to initials. This trend is what led Kentucky Fried Chicken to shorten its name to KFC, Gatorade to shrink its name to G and is also rumored to be the reason for the Film Actor's Guild's decision to shorten their name in the Team America movie.

As seen by the picture to the right, Bartles & Jaymes has decided to jump on the name-shortening bandwagon by referring to themselves as B & J. They have also changed some of the flavors. Some players have complained about both the name change and the lack of manly flavors. They refuse to use these new wine coolers in their third place celebrations.

Studious Metsimus was able to use our media credentials to acquire some of these bottles. We wanted to give B & J a chance. After removing the protective cover, we put our lips around the rim and took a little of it in. Then we had too much, some of it spilled and it ended up being very messy.

The bottom line after going ahead with B & J...IT SUCKS! For some reason, that seems quite appropriate to me, but I don't know why. After all, I'm only five years old. I don't know everything yet!

Time to get off my soapbox before my mouth gets washed out with soap!