Mets chief cook and bottle washer Fred Wilpon has announced to the world
that the team is no longer in debt and can spend on free agents if
there are good players to be had. Papa Smirk made the announcement
yesterday as pitchers and catchers
have been trickling in to training camp in Port St. Lucie.
The news was meant to coincide with the comments made by manager Terry
Collins and general manager Sandy Alderson on the state of the team.
However, at Studious Metsimus, we know better than that. We know that
Wilpon wanted to make the
announcement in time for Valentine’s Day, a day known for spending
money on unnecessary gifts, an intense outpouring of love, and a famous
massacre. And who knows more about spending money on unnecessary things
(Luis Castillo, Oliver Perez, Jason Bay), unconditional
love (Sandy Koufax) and massacres (damn you, M. Donald Grant!) than the
Mets?
In honor of Papa Smirk’s Valentine’s Day announcement, let’s take a look
at what the Mets have done over the years when they’ve spent money for
players they thought fans would love, only to see them revolt when those
players failed to live
up to expectations:
 |
| I'm in the mood for love... |
In the 1970s, the Mets boasted wonderful starting pitching and a woeful
offense. Throughout the decade, the Mets tried to acquire a top
slugger. Joe Foy and Jim Fregosi were supposed to improve the offense.
Instead, they became answers
to trivia questions about the worst trades in Mets history. The
closest they ever came to acquiring a top hitting talent was when they
traded for Rusty Staub in 1972. Of course, after the 1975 season,
one-month wonder Mike Vail pushed the team to trade
Staub to Detroit for Mickey “The Refrigerator” Lolich. One can only
imagine that if Twitter had existed in the mid-1970s, that deal would
have been referred to as the #LOL-ich trade. Have another donut,
Mickey.
So the 1970s didn’t quite work out with regards to trading for a top
hitter. But once Frank Cashen came on board with his pedigree for
winning (Baltimore won several American League pennants under his
watch), it was assumed that the Mets
would finally sign a premier slugger to give them a legitimate power
threat in the lineup. They thought they added that punch when they
signed former home run champion George Foster to a five-year, $10
million deal in 1982. A .300, 30 HR, 100 RBI season
was commonplace for Foster in Cincinnati. As a Met, he never hit .300,
never hit 30 HR and never drove in 100 runs in a season. Foster was as
punchless at the plate as he was on the field. The leftfielder refused
to participate in a bench-clearing brawl
against his former team in Cincinnati, citing that it would be a bad
example for kids. This, of course, from the same man who thought
“Get
Metsmerized” would be a hit rap album.
 |
| "I'm George Foster and I'm here to say - if there's a fight, on the bench I'll stay." |
Cashen did well after learning from the George Foster fiasco. But his
replacement did not. After Cashen’s departure in the early 1990s, the
Mets tried to put together the best team money could buy, signing former
All-Stars like Eddie
Murray and Bret Saberhagen, as well as manager Jeff Torborg. They also
brought in the Bronx’s most famous tour guide, Bobby Bonilla. Just as
the Mets made Foster the highest paid player in baseball in 1982, they
did the same one decade later for Bonilla.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. Bonilla spent his
hard(ly)-earned money on a wonderful pair of earplugs in four so-so
seasons with the Mets. Bonilla actually did reach the 30-HR mark that
eluded Foster, but he also surpassed the ‘80s
“slugger” in boos and phone calls placed to the official scorer.
Bonilla should have just stuck to being a tour guide to authors and
reporters. At least he was pretty good at that.
Sometime between being picked before Roger Clemens and Lenny Dysktra in
the 1981 June amateur draft and being accused of sexual misbehavior as
an ESPN baseball analyst, Steve Phillips was the Mets general manager.
Phillips continued the
once-a-decade tradition of trying to upgrade the offense in a year
ending in the number “2”, signing and/or trading for Mo Vaughn, Roberto
Alomar, Jeromy Burnitz, Roger Cedeño, Shawn Estes, Jeff D’Amico and
Pedro Astacio. Had Stifler’s mom been available,
he probably would have made a run at her, too. (Rumor has it that she
was already locked up in a deal with
a relative of former Met phenom Sidd Finch.) Phillips eventually took care of his sexual frustration
when he became ESPN’s resident lothario. His
class of 2002 gave Mets fans a different kind of frustration.
Finally, Omar Minaya didn’t wait until a year ending in “2”, acquiring
Pedro Martinez, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Orlando “The Dookie”
Hernandez, Duaner Sanchez, Roberto Hernandez, Oliver Perez, Guillermo
Mota, Luis Castillo, Julio
Franco, Moises Alou, Johan Santana (see a pattern forming here?) and
honorary “Los Mets” players Paul Lo Duca, Billy Wagner and Jason Bay.
Under Minaya, the team had what can now be called a fluke season in
2006, claiming the NL East division crown with a
league-best 97 wins. Unfortunately, the 83-win Cardinals led the
National League in World Series championships that year with one. After two
late-season collapses by the rapidly aging team in 2007 and 2008 and
two injury-riddled sub-.500 campaigns in 2009 and
2010, Minaya was relieved of his duties. He can now be seen signing
players left and right on Metstradmus’ Facebook page and Twitter
account.
For many years, the Mets were content to toss money at players, hoping
they would produce in Flushing the way they produced with their former
teams. But for every player that actually does well after coming to New
York (we miss you, R.A.
Dickey), there are a handful of players that don’t (Vincenzo Grucci –
you may know his as Vince Coleman – comes to mind).
According to Fred Wilpon, the team now has money to spend, which it will
most likely do in 2014. Wilpon made this announcement as a
pre-Valentine’s Day gift to fans who have been forced to sit through
four straight seasons of fourth place
finishes. We’ll see if Wilpon really does have money to spend or if he
was just yanking our chains to get us to come back to Citi Field for
something other than Pat LaFrieda steaks. If we find out that he cut
back on Valentine’s Day flowers and chocolates
for high school sweetheart Sandy Koufax, then perhaps this time we
might have to believe him.
 |
| Smooch, there it is! |