The Magic Fortune Cookie Predicts the 2019 Mets Season

Last season, the Mets produced a Cy Young Award recipient in Jacob deGrom.  They also saw Zack Wheeler finally turning the corner and Noah Syndergaard emerging victorious in 13 of his 17 decisions.  And that's not to mention Michael Conforto setting career highs in home runs and RBI, Jeff McNeil continuing to rake at sea level after tearing up the Pacific Coast League and Brandon Nimmo reaching base in over 40% of his plate appearances, all while making a good case to play Guy Smiley in a live action Sesame Street movie.

What did all this individual success get them?  Just a measly 77-85 record and a fourth place finish for the sixth time in the Citi Field era.

But new general manager Brodie Van Wagenen insists that this year's Mets will be different than the previous two seasons.  This year's squad has All-Stars galore in new additions Robinson Canó, Edwin Díaz and Wilson Ramos.  Throw in Jeurys Familia, Jed Lowrie (when his boo boo heals) and the greatest first baseman in Mets history who still hasn't played a game at the major league level, Pete Alonso, and the Mets should easily tack on a few wins to last year's total, especially if none of their games against Derek Jeter's Marlins are postponed and not made up.

Of course, I'm not an expert on anything.  But I do know a good Mets prognosticator when I see one.  That's why, back by popular demand, I give you our resident Studious Metsimus soothsayer.  Please put your hands together for the one and only Magic Fortune Cookie.

Why would you say that?  I just paid you a compliment and if people want to applaud you for being good at what you do, you shouldn't tell them not to do so.

Because you're a fortune cookie.  Got it.  Well, I think you're great.  Except when you're insulting me.  Which I'm sure you won't be doing this time around, right?

I'll try to not ask silly questions then.  Let's begin.  How do you feel about Jacob deGrom finally being given the contract extension that every big leaguer and their mothers were getting this off-season?

Wait, what?  What kind of answer is that?  That has nothing to do with my question.

Well, you certainly did that.  Now can you answer my question?  And please leave the insults back at the restaurant.

Thank you for your honest response.  And why do you think it needed to be done?  Were you afraid he'd take a dip in the free agent waters after the 2020 campaign without the extension?

Moving on to his fellow moundsman, do you feel Noah Syndergaard or Zack Wheeler will ever put up a season similar to the one deGrom completed last year?  And if so, which one has the potential to parlay such a season into a similar nine-figure deal with the team?

And how can you be so certain it's Thor and not Wheeler who gets the big payday from the team?

It most certainly isn't.  Moving on to the bullpen, is the one-two punch of Jeurys Familia and Edwin Díaz going to mean lights out for the opposition if the Mets have the lead through seven innings?

Hate to break it to you, but the 2010 team wasn't very good.  Not only that, but they didn't really have an eighth inning guy.  I mean, nearly half of Fernando Nieve's relief appearances that year came in the eighth inning and his ERA was an even 6.00.

Well, that was an unfortunate and embarrassing incident in club history.  Speaking of unfortunate and embarrassing, what do you think about the Wilpons' decision to finally have a Tom Seaver statue at Citi Field, announcing the news after his family revealed that he was retiring from the public life and would not be able to join his 1969 teammates for their 50th anniversary reunion at the ballpark?

I can understand your feelings for Seaver, but why do you feel happy for the men who caught Seaver in 1969?

Travis d'Arnaud probably won't be pleased to find out that you believe a couple of septuagenarians and an octogenarian are currently better equipped to handle the team's backup catcher's position.

Fair point.  Let's continue talking about up-the-middle players.  Why do you think Fred Wilpon agreed to take on the contract of Robinson Canó?  He's usually allergic to spending money.  Why did he change his ways for Canó?

I don't get it.

Oh, now I get it.  Papa Smirk was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan growing up.

Har-de-har-har.  Let's move on to the outfield.  Michael Conforto and Brandon Nimmo had strong seasons in 2018.  But teams need three outfielders.  Who will see the bulk of the playing time as the team's third outfielder?

Uh, you do know that Céspedes will start the season on the injured list and may not play until very late in the season, if he plays at all, right?

I suppose that could happen.  At least you didn't say Dominic Smith, so I can breathe a sigh of relief there.  And while I'm on the topic of first basemen, what numbers do you think Pete Alonso will produce at the position?

That's not very impressive.  Loney and González combined for just 15 HR and 60 RBI during their time with the Mets.  Pretty much any first baseman can produce those numbers over a full season.

That's promising news indeed!  Next-to-last question.  Do you think new hitting coach Chili Davis will help the team improve their putrid .234 team batting average, which was the Mets' lowest mark since the 1972 campaign?

Wait, you're not a sportswriter.  How does a fortune cookie have sources?

That was awful.

Your predictions might be good, but your jokes - for a fortune cookie - are a little stale.

Fine.  Last question.  What do you think the Mets' final record will be and where will they finish in the National League East?

And here I was, thinking the Mets had improved their team enough to make it into October.

Well, I oughta...

On that note, I'd like to thank the Magic Fortune Cookie for doing the best it could at making difficult predictions about an unpredictable team.  I'd also like to thank myself for exhibiting the self-control needed not to break open the fortune cookie every time it insulted me.  There's only so much a non-sleep inducing blogger can take.

Until next time, I hope you enjoy Opening Day, the 1969 reunion weekend and the rest of the season.  And remember, if the Mets purchase the contract of Kirk Nieuwenhuis from the Long Island Ducks, we're all in trouble.

LET'S GO METS!!

Hey, kids!  Prior to last year's hiring of the Magic Fortune Cookie, it was the Magic 8-Ball that was making predictions for Studious Metsimus, doing its job every season since 2010, the year Jason Bay first soiled us with his presence.  To see what the Magic 8-Ball said prior to each of the eight seasons it was on the Studious Metsimus payroll from 2010 to 2017, and what the Magic Fortune Cookie said in its debut in 2018, please click on the links below:

2018 Magic Fortune Cookie Predictions

2017 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2016 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

2015 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2014 Magic 8-Ball Predictions
2013 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

2012 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

2011 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

2010 Magic 8-Ball Predictions

Studious Metsimus Presents The Happy/Crappy Recap For 2017

It's the end of another calendar year, Mets fans.  And with just six weeks or so remaining until pitchers and catchers report to Port St. Lucie, it's time to look back and reflect.  No, we're not reflecting on all the injuries that seemed to be Ray Ramirez's fault in the eyes of the fan base.  (Okay, maybe we'll reflect on one or twelve of them.)  We're here to share what was happy and what was crappy about the 2017 season.  And if you followed this season as closely as the Studious Metsimus staff did, you'll probably expect the "happy" part to be as long as a Jeff Wilpon interview and the "crappy" part to be of a similar length as a modernized version of "War and Peace".

You know what?  You may be right about that.

But despite everything that a 70-92 record might suggest, not everything was crappy for Mets fans in 2017.  We got to see the Nationals make another first round exit, which means all of Daniel Murphy's postseason celebrations continue to be with him wearing a Mets uniform.  We also saw the Yankees complete an eighth consecutive season without winning a pennant.  (Hey, we hadn't seen that occur in over two decades.)  And of course, future Hall of Famer Carlos Beltran went out as a champion, winning a World Series ring with the Mets' 1962 expansion mates a full 13 seasons after his epic postseason run with the Astros led to him becoming the greatest free agent signing in Mets history.

As Mets fans, we can take comfort that things other than the Mets can give us pleasure.  Sometimes it's all we have.  And with that, I think it's time to delve into this year's Happy/Crappy recap.  I promise it won't depress you as you read it.  After all, we wouldn't want you to end up wearing a leg boot because of a depression diagnosis.

So what was happy about the 2017 season?

(Crickets...)

Seriously, what can we look back on and remember as a good thing that happened this past season?

(More crickets, getting louder...)

Anything at all?  Bueller?  Bueller?

(Crickets quieting down, mainly because they're all shaking their heads...)

Okay, so it wasn't easy to find something to be happy about when looking back at the 2017 campaign.  I mean, the team needed a win on the next-to-last day of the season to avoid their first year with fewer than 70 wins since Art Howe's crew "battled" their way to a 66-95 record in 2003.

Everyone except Ray Ramirez got hurt at some point of the season.  I mean, Jay Bruce was traded to Cleveland with almost two months left in the season and still had the third-most plate appearances on the Mets.  Michael Conforto got hurt swinging the bat.  So did Wilmer Flores, who found a way to foul a ball off his face.  Both players appeared to be heading toward career years, as Conforto was on pace to hit 35-plus homers and Flores had already established career highs in home runs (18), batting average (.271), slugging percentage (.488) and OPS (.795) before the invisible magnet in his nose attracted a fastball off his bat.  Even Noah Syndergaard, who was expected to contend for the Cy Young Award, missed the majority of the season recovering from a lat injury.

Hey, but at least he got to woo Mrs. Met on Twitter as part of his all-out war on Mr. Met.

The injuries, as well as the selling off of the team's veteran players (and by veteran, I mean the guys who made the most money and were in the final season of their contracts), allowed the Mets to call up their top two minor league prospects, Amed Rosario and Dominic Smith.

Aha!  We've reached the bright side!

Rosario and Smith had flashes of brilliance, but neither took the baseball world by storm, as both posted OBPs south of .300 and OPSs under .700.  Still, Rosario just turned 22 last month and Smith won't be 23 until the anniversary of the Midnight Massacre.  And yet, some people are calling for Smith's days as a Met to be terminated before he's gotten a chance to prove himself.  Why?

The two neophytes combined to produce a .223/.266/.395 slash line, which isn't that for off from Noah Syndergaard's career slash line (.200/.273/.345).  That may not sound impressive, but consider the following.

Rosario gives the Mets speed they desperately need.  The swift Dominican finished second on the team behind Jose Reyes in triples and stolen bases.  If Reyes doesn't return in 2018, Rosario will be the only dependable source for steals and extra-base hits that don't come to a screeching halt at second base.  Plus, he'd be the best candidate to go first-to-third on a single.  Without Reyes and not including Rosario's totals in two months with the team, the Mets would have finished the 2017 campaign with 17 triples and 27 steals.  That's fewer than Lance Johnson had by himself in 1996 (21 triples, 50 SB).  Rosario should become the go-to guy to get the go-go signal from his coaches.

Meanwhile, Smith may have batted .198 with 49 strikeouts in 183 plate appearances, but he was an excellent hitter with runners in scoring position.  On a team that occasionally struggled offensively, Smith batted .283 with an .871 OPS when a teammate was 90 or 180 feet from crossing the plate.  That explains why he drove in 26 runs in those limited plate appearances.  In fact, he was more likely to drive in a run last season than the 110 Million Dollar Man, Yoenis Céspedes, as Smith averaged an RBI every 7.0 plate appearances, while Céspedes drove in a run every 7.6 PA (42 RBI; 321 PA).

All I am saying is give Smith a chance.

That was the good that came out of the 2017 season.  Now it's time for the bad and the ugly.  Can we have some orange and blue toilet paper, please?

Okay, we've gone over the injuries ad nauseum.  We've yet to discuss the pitching staff posting the highest team ERA since 1962, but doing that would just get us ad nauseous.  So let me tell you a story about something that happened with the one team expected to do worse than the Mets in 2018.  I'm talking about the Miami Marlins.

The Marlins have a new co-owner/CEO/gift basket giver.  To protect the not-so-innocent, let's call him Dirk Jitters.  Mr. Jitters was part of a group that purchased the team, then decided to enrage the dozens of Marlins fans in South Florida by trading the one player who made them come out to Marlins Park on a nightly basis; Giancarlo Stanton.  But faster than you can say "most overrated shortstop in the history of baseball", Mr. Jitters also found a way to trade slugger Marcell Ozuna and speedster Dee Gordon and is now supposedly looking to unload the contracts of Christian Yelich and J.T. Realmuto in this liquidation sale.

One can only imagine what he would have done with Jose Fernandez had he lived.

But Mr. Jitters did also something that was very unexpected.  He attended a town hall in which Marlins season ticket holders were invited to ask questions about the direction the team was taking.  Mr. Jitters calmly answered questions from the gathering of disgruntled fans, including Marlins Man, who left his seat behind home plate at a nationally televised road game to attend the meeting.

In doing so, Mr. Jitters was able to address the paying customers in person and made him more than just a guy in a suit with a closet full of gift baskets.  Which means he's already done more as a Marlins executive than the Wilpons have done with Mets fans.

Dirk Jitters has more balls than both Wilpons combined.

When was the last time you say Papa Smirk and Little Jeffy address the media or the team's fans?  They don't need to.  That's why they hired Sandy Alderson.  The Wilpons are the most hands-off owners in baseball except when someone wants to get their hands on their piggy banks.  To most fans, they're just urban legends as most of the team's supporters have never seen them in person.

The Studious Metsimus staff once attended a similar gathering of season ticket holders in 2013, which allowed fans to ask questions to members of the front office.  Alderson was there.  So were his merry men (John Ricco, Paul DePodesta and J.P. Ricciardi).  Who wasn't there, you might ask?

Fred, Jeff and Saul.

The Mets' owners once had no problems giving out money to the top free agents and to re-sign their own players.  They gave newly-retired world champion Carlos Beltran a seven-year, $119 million contract.  They traded for a guy currently on the Hall of Fame ballot for the first time, Johan Santana, then proceeded to sign him to a six-year, $137.5 million extension.  Then a con man "made off" with their money and apparently their public appearances as well.

As long as New York keeps signing low-risk, high-reward players for pennies on the dollar and get low performance and high injury rates from these players, the fans will continue to revolt.  They'll continue to come to the ballpark (blame the food) and watch the games on SNY (blame Gary, Keith and Ron), but they'll always be figuratively throwing darts at photos of the Wilpons.  Maybe not so figuratively in some cases.

With little chance of the club acting like a large-market team and with the owners continuing to avoid breaking open their piggy banks for a proven commodity in his prime (Céspedes notwithstanding), the fans might have to endure a lot more of the crappy before the happy returns to Citi Field.

And that's it for 2017.  For most Mets fans, the year couldn't come to an end any quicker.  For the cast of crew of Studious Metsimus, we're not ready to give up on the year just yet.  At least not until we thank those who inspire, educate and amuse us.

Respected and long-running blogs such as A Gal For All Seasons, Faith and Fear in Flushing, Mets Merized Online, MetsMinors.Net, Amazin' Avenue, Metstradamus, Remembering Shea, The Daily Stache, Mets360, Rising Apple, Mets Plus, Good Fundies, MetSilverman, Converted Mets Fan and Mets Daddy, just to name a few (or 15, to be exact) always have interesting stories to share, day or night.  Check them out some time.  I'd say "tell 'em Ed sent you" but I'm not sure all of them know who I am.

From all of us here at the corporate office of Studious Metsimus, which is quite literally a desk with a computer, an iPhone and a cat who swipes at us whenever we need to use "his" bathroom, we'd like to thank you for your continued support of this site and wish you a safe and happy New Year.  And by "we", I mean Ed Leyro (the dude at the computer), Joey Beartran (the roving reporter/culinary expert with the iPhone) and Taryn "The Coop" Cooper (the chick getting swiped by the cat).

And remember, Mets fans.  It's not how you play the game.  It's how much money you saved by not signing the top free agents on the market and hoping to get similar production from lesser players coming off a subpar season, then hoping to get a game-winning single from them once a month.  (This paragraph was approved by Fred and Jeff Wilpon.)

Hey, Dirk Jitters?  If you could get rid of this monstrosity in Marlins Park, you'd be doing your fans a great service.

The Worst Team Money Wasn't Spent On

"What do you mean, I won't spend money?  I got you four months of Chris Young, right?"  --Papa Smirk

Going into today's matinee with the Miami Marlins, the Mets have managed to score just 520 runs in their first 137 games.  That averages to 3.8 runs per game.  At that pace, the Mets would cross the plate 615 times this season, which would be four fewer than their run total from 2013.

So how far back do we have to go to find the last time the Mets scored fewer than 615 runs over a full 162-game season?  You have to set the arrival time on the DeLorean to 1992, when New York scored 599 runs.  If you recall, that 72-90 squad was more famously referred to as "The Worst Team Money Could Buy."

That team, full of superstars and a major league high $45 million payroll, batted .235 and was the last Mets team that didn't register 600 tallies in a non-strike shortened season.  And prior to 1992, the last time the Mets scored fewer than 615 runs (the pace they're currently on for the 2014 season) was in 1983.  That year was the seventh straight season the team averaged fewer than 3.8 runs per game.  Long-time Mets fans would recognize that seven-year period from 1977 to 1983 as the Grant's Tomb era - the period in which Mets fans abandoned Shea Stadium almost as quickly as former team chairman M. Donald Grant abandoned his senses, his wallet and his ability to field a winning team.

So basically, the 2014 Mets are scoring at a pace that's been seen just twice by the franchise in nearly 40 years.  And both low-scoring periods have been associated with some of the lowest moments in the club's history.

But not all is gloom and doom.  On the flip side, this year's pitchers have allowed just 533 runs, putting them on pace to give up 630 runs in 2014.  That would be the lowest total in a non-strike shortened season since 1990, when the team allowed 613 runs en route to a 91-71 campaign.

Although pitching wins championships, a little hitting and run-scoring helps as well.  Both the 1969 and 1986 championship teams boasted pitching staffs that allowed fewer than 600 runs.  Of course, those two teams combined to outscore the opposition by 296 runs.

The 1992 squad was the last team to score as little as the 2014 club has.  That was known as "The Worst Team Money Could Buy".  This year's squad is about to become "The Worst Team Money Wasn't Spent On".  The front office has a lot of work to do during the off-season to make sure future Mets teams don't have "The Worst Team" moniker attached to them, regardless of how much money can or won't buy.

The Convenience of Rain Before A Nationally Televised Game

On Friday night, the Mets and Braves were about to start the ninth inning of a 5-5 game when the drizzle failed to fizzle.  The downpour caused the umpires to call for the grounds crew to put the tarp on the field, where it remained until the game was suspended just before midnight.

There would be no fireworks at 4am, no Keith Hernandez making six outs and still hitting for the cycle (although Ike Davis was making a bid for six strikeouts) and no Rick Camp exhumation for an unlikely homer in the 18th inning.

No, that was in 1985.  The 2013 umpires are a tad more reasonable (except for Angel Hernandez) and they decided to resume the game on Saturday at 6:10pm, approximately one hour before the regularly scheduled game at 7:15pm.

Why was a suspended game the best case scenario for Papa Smirk and Little Jeffy Wilpon?  It's all about the national TV audience.

The conveniently-timed suspended game is sure to turn the Wilpons' frowns upside down.

Tonight's regularly scheduled game was picked up by FOX.  The Mets have other games on the FOX Saturday schedule this year, but this was to be the only night game aired by the network.  It's also the only Saturday night game scheduled at Citi Field this year.

According to mets.com, any fan who was in attendance at Friday's suspended game can exchange their ticket stubs for both the conclusion of the game and the regularly scheduled game (seats subject to availability).  They are also entitled to the John Franco bobblehead giveaway and the post-game pyrotechnics display, which was originally set to go off last night before the rains served as a natural extinguisher.

Putting two and two together (no, we're not adding Ike Davis' daily strikeout totals there), that means fans who went to last night's game and fans with tickets to tonight's game have the right to occupy seats at Citi Field tonight.  So the ballpark is going to be more packed tonight than it would usually be, especially with the dozens of fans who are sure to brave the elements once again.

Hmmm, I wonder if the Mets' decision to allow fans from the first game to stay for the second game has anything to do with those national TV cameras that will also be in attendance covering the game for the FOX network?  I mean, it would surely make the team look really good for the national TV audience to see more fannies in the seats, don't ya think?

Rainouts are never a good thing for the players, umpires and fans.  But suspended games can be wonderful for a team's image.  And the timing of last night's called game and tonight's resumption has everyone involved saying "how convenient".  Maybe that'll wipe the smirk off Fred Wilpon's face once and for all.

Live from New York, It's Saturday Night (at Citi Field)!

Heartbreaking Transactions: A Mets Valentine's Day Special

Mets chief cook and bottle washer Fred Wilpon has announced to the world that the team is no longer in debt and can spend on free agents if there are good players to be had.  Papa Smirk made the announcement yesterday as pitchers and catchers have been trickling in to training camp in Port St. Lucie.

The news was meant to coincide with the comments made by manager Terry Collins and general manager Sandy Alderson on the state of the team.  However, at Studious Metsimus, we know better than that.  We know that Wilpon wanted to make the announcement in time for Valentine’s Day, a day known for spending money on unnecessary gifts, an intense outpouring of love, and a famous massacre.  And who knows more about spending money on unnecessary things (Luis Castillo, Oliver Perez, Jason Bay), unconditional love (Sandy Koufax) and massacres (damn you, M. Donald Grant!) than the Mets?

In honor of Papa Smirk’s Valentine’s Day announcement, let’s take a look at what the Mets have done over the years when they’ve spent money for players they thought fans would love, only to see them revolt when those players failed to live up to expectations:

I'm in the mood for love...

In the 1970s, the Mets boasted wonderful starting pitching and a woeful offense.  Throughout the decade, the Mets tried to acquire a top slugger.  Joe Foy and Jim Fregosi were supposed to improve the offense.  Instead, they became answers to trivia questions about the worst trades in Mets history.  The closest they ever came to acquiring a top hitting talent was when they traded for Rusty Staub in 1972.  Of course, after the 1975 season, one-month wonder Mike Vail pushed the team to trade Staub to Detroit for Mickey “The Refrigerator” Lolich.  One can only imagine that if Twitter had existed in the mid-1970s, that deal would have been referred to as the #LOL-ich trade.  Have another donut, Mickey.

So the 1970s didn’t quite work out with regards to trading for a top hitter.  But once Frank Cashen came on board with his pedigree for winning (Baltimore won several American League pennants under his watch), it was assumed that the Mets would finally sign a premier slugger to give them a legitimate power threat in the lineup.  They thought they added that punch when they signed former home run champion George Foster to a five-year, $10 million deal in 1982.  A .300, 30 HR, 100 RBI season was commonplace for Foster in Cincinnati.  As a Met, he never hit .300, never hit 30 HR and never drove in 100 runs in a season.  Foster was as punchless at the plate as he was on the field.  The leftfielder refused to participate in a bench-clearing brawl against his former team in Cincinnati, citing that it would be a bad example for kids.  This, of course, from the same man who thought “Get Metsmerized” would be a hit rap album.

"I'm George Foster and I'm here to say - if there's a fight, on the bench I'll stay."

Cashen did well after learning from the George Foster fiasco.  But his replacement did not.  After Cashen’s departure in the early 1990s, the Mets tried to put together the best team money could buy, signing former All-Stars like Eddie Murray and Bret Saberhagen, as well as manager Jeff Torborg.  They also brought in the Bronx’s most famous tour guide, Bobby Bonilla.  Just as the Mets made Foster the highest paid player in baseball in 1982, they did the same one decade later for Bonilla.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  Bonilla spent his hard(ly)-earned money on a wonderful pair of earplugs in four so-so seasons with the Mets.  Bonilla actually did reach the 30-HR mark that eluded Foster, but he also surpassed the ‘80s “slugger” in boos and phone calls placed to the official scorer.  Bonilla should have just stuck to being a tour guide to authors and reporters.  At least he was pretty good at that.

Sometime between being picked before Roger Clemens and Lenny Dysktra in the 1981 June amateur draft and being accused of sexual misbehavior as an ESPN baseball analyst, Steve Phillips was the Mets general manager.  Phillips continued the once-a-decade tradition of trying to upgrade the offense in a year ending in the number “2”, signing and/or trading for Mo Vaughn, Roberto Alomar, Jeromy Burnitz, Roger Cedeño, Shawn Estes, Jeff D’Amico and Pedro Astacio.  Had Stifler’s mom been available, he probably would have made a run at her, too.  (Rumor has it that she was already locked up in a deal with a relative of former Met phenom Sidd Finch.)  Phillips eventually took care of his sexual frustration when he became ESPN’s resident lothario.  His class of 2002 gave Mets fans a different kind of frustration.

Finally, Omar Minaya didn’t wait until a year ending in “2”, acquiring Pedro Martinez, Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, Orlando “The Dookie” Hernandez, Duaner Sanchez, Roberto Hernandez, Oliver Perez, Guillermo Mota, Luis Castillo, Julio Franco, Moises Alou, Johan Santana (see a pattern forming here?) and honorary “Los Mets” players Paul Lo Duca, Billy Wagner and Jason Bay.  Under Minaya, the team had what can now be called a fluke season in 2006, claiming the NL East division crown with a league-best 97 wins.  Unfortunately, the 83-win Cardinals led the National League in World Series championships that year with one.  After two late-season collapses by the rapidly aging team in 2007 and 2008 and two injury-riddled sub-.500 campaigns in 2009 and 2010, Minaya was relieved of his duties.  He can now be seen signing players left and right on Metstradmus’ Facebook page and Twitter account.

Omar Minaya just gave Don Kelly a 3-year $39 million contract.
— Metstradamus (@Metstradamus) June 30, 2011

For many years, the Mets were content to toss money at players, hoping they would produce in Flushing the way they produced with their former teams.  But for every player that actually does well after coming to New York (we miss you, R.A. Dickey), there are a handful of players that don’t (Vincenzo Grucci – you may know his as Vince Coleman – comes to mind).

According to Fred Wilpon, the team now has money to spend, which it will most likely do in 2014.  Wilpon made this announcement as a pre-Valentine’s Day gift to fans who have been forced to sit through four straight seasons of fourth place finishes.  We’ll see if Wilpon really does have money to spend or if he was just yanking our chains to get us to come back to Citi Field for something other than Pat LaFrieda steaks.  If we find out that he cut back on Valentine’s Day flowers and chocolates for high school sweetheart Sandy Koufax, then perhaps this time we might have to believe him.

Smooch, there it is!

The More Teams Change, The More The Mets Stay The Same

I try to look at the MLB Trade Rumors site as often as I can to see what the Mets and their division rivals are up to.  More often than not, I find what their fellow NL East residents are doing long before I find any new information on the Mets.  Today was no exception.

Sandy Alderson has wanted to add a new arm in the bullpen (since most of the new arms he added last off-season pitched so miserably), a new starting pitcher to replace the Cy Young Award winner he traded away, and a major league outfielder to add to the Quadruple-A players the Mets already have.

So of course, I woke up this morning hoping to find something new on MLB Trade Rumors.  I found their "Week In Review" segment and perused the list of transactions and rumors for all major league teams.  This is an example of what I found.  (Thanks to Daniel Seco at mlbtraderumors.com for his thorough work.  For the complete "Week In Review" list, please click here.)

• The Rangers agreed to a five-year, $55MM extension with Matt Harrison. The contract contains an team option for a sixth year in 2018 that can become a vesting option if Harrison pitches certain innings plateaus.
• The Nationals agreed to sign free agent closer Rafael Soriano to a two-year, $28MM contract. Soriano posted a 2.26 ERA with 9.2 K/9, 3.2 BB/9 and a 35.9% ground ball rate for the Yankees this past season.
• The Red Sox and Mike Napoli reached an agreement on a new contract. Napoli gets $5MM plus incentives for the one-year deal that could reach $13MM.
• The Mariners, Nationals and Athletics combined on a three-team trade that will send Michael Morse to the Mariners, John Jaso to the A's and a three-player package to the Nationals that includes minor league right-handers A.J. Cole, Blake Treinen and a player to be named from the Athletics. 
• The Diamondbacks agreed to sign J.J. Putz to a one-year extension that will keep him in Arizona through 2014.The LSW Baseball client will reportedly receive a $7MM salary in 2014.
• The Pirates agreed to sign right-hander Jeff Karstens to a one-year deal worth $2.5MM.
• The Rockies signed Miguel Batista to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training. Batista, 41, posted a 4.61 ERA with 6.2 K/9 and 5.6 BB/9 in 52 2/3 innings for the Mets and Braves last season. 
• The White Sox agreed to sign Matt Lindstrom to a one-year contract with a club option. Lindstrom, 32, pitched to a 2.68 ERA with 7.7 K/9 and 2.7 BB/9 in 47 innings for the Orioles and Diamondbacks last season.
• The Indians signed Ryan Raburn to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training. Raburn averaged 15 home runs per season from 2009-11 and owns a career batting line of .256/.311/.430.
• The Phillies signed right-hander Juan Cruz to a minor league contract with an invitation to Spring Training.
• The Marlins signed Austin Kearns to a minor league deal with an invitation to MLB Spring Training.

Austin Kearns, International Marlin of Mystery

I see where the defending NL East champion Nationals traded away outfielder Michael Morse to Seattle and signed closer Rafael Soriano to a two-year deal.  I also see that the Phillies signed reliever Juan Cruz and plan to invite him to Spring Training.  Heck, even the frugal Marlins signed outfielder Austin Kearns to a minor league deal.  I see many teams in the majors mentioned here.

I don't see the Mets.

Well, if you want to be technical about it, the Mets are mentioned, but only because the Rockies signed Miguel Batista off the Mets' scrap heap.

Almost every team in baseball is wheeling and dealing, signing and refining, moving and improving.  The Mets, on the other hand, are not doing anything worthy of a rhyme.  In fact, they're not doing anything at all.

Since trading R.A. Dickey to the Blue Jays on December 17, the Mets have done the following:

• Dec. 28, 2012: Signed LHP Aaron Laffey to a minor league contract.
• Jan. 3, 2013: Signed OF Andrew Brown to a minor league contract.
• Jan. 6, 2013: Signed INF Omar Quintanilla to a minor league contract.
• Jan. 18, 2013: Signed C Landon Powell to a minor league contract.
• Jan. 21, 2013: Signed LHP Pedro Feliciano to a minor league contract.

Never mind the fact the MLB Trade Rumors didn't mention anything about the Mets making a transaction last week (Landon Powell).  All the Mets have done over the last month is sign journeyman players, including a former Met who hasn't pitched since the last time he was a Met in 2010 (Pedro Feliciano).  Sure, they've re-signed some of their own players, like Tim Byrdak and David Wright, and avoided arbitration with Bobby Parnell and Ike Davis.  But that about sums up their activity.

The Mets say they're interested in starting pitcher Carl Pavano.  They would like to remain in the mix for outfielder Michael Bourn.  They gave a look-see at closer Brian Wilson.  But I wouldn't bet all the money in Papa Smirk's piggy bank that either of those players will be receiving their fan mail at Citi Field in 2013.

"Seriously, why do you call me Papa Smirk so much?"

Sandy Alderson is asking the fans to be patient.  Although he claims that he is not sacrificing 2013 for the future, he also hasn't been doing anything to make the upcoming season more than just a battle for fourth place with the Marlins.

Alderson has acquired some good young talent since he came on board prior to the 2011 season.  Through shrewd trades, he's been able to add a number of top prospects, like Zack Wheeler, Travis d'Arnaud and Noah Syndergaard, to name a few.  But the major league talent at Citi Field still leaves a lot to be desired.

Scott Hairston is a good outfielder and a fine hitter.  Against lefties, he's as good as they get.  It should be a no-brainer for Alderson to bring him back into the fold.  But he's waiting ... and waiting ... and waiting some more, just to get Hairston to bite on a one-year deal.  If Hairston really is seeking a two-year deal worth somewhere in the $8 million range, why wouldn't Alderson take that chance?

He already doled out two-year contracts to relievers D.J. Carrasco and Frank Francisco, but he can't do the same for an outfielder (a position the Mets desperately need to fill) who actually has produced during his time with the team?  As a famous entertainer once said, "what up with that?"





Say Hairston is signed by the Mets to a two-year deal worth $8 million ($4 million annually).  And say he doesn't produce as well as he did in 2012.  Given his history against left-handed pitching and the team control until 2014, as well as his relatively low annual salary, wouldn't he be a valuable trade commodity?  What team wouldn't want him at that price?  But if the Mets were to give him a one-year deal, he'd just be a rental for a potential playoff contender.

For the Mets, it should begin with Scott Hairston.  Then they should add pieces who are ready to contribute at the major league level.  Then, and only then, will I believe the Mets are doing something to make this season more than just a competition with the Marlins for fourth place.

Frank Cashen had a five-year plan for the Mets when he came aboard as the Mets general manager in 1980.  By year five, the team was competitive.  However, Cashen inherited a team that hadn't won 70 games since 1976 and needed a complete overhaul.  The current Mets, despite their shortcomings, have won at least 70 games in each of the last four seasons and have been in the playoff mix at the All-Star Break every year.  But they've fallen apart every season after the break and haven't truly shown any type of improvement in the last four years.

Year five for Sandy Alderson will be in 2015.  Will the Mets have what it takes to contend for an NL East title by then?  We know the teams around them aren't going to be steadfast with their major league rosters.  It's time for the Mets to change.  We already know what happens to them when they remain the same.

The Final Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Steadfast

All good things must come to an end.  And with this week's news that R.A. Dickey was traded to the Toronto Blue Jays, that means the non-weekly Dickeypedia Word of the Week has reached its final installment as well.

Before he left the bright lights of New York for the poutine of Toronto, Dickey left us with three heartfelt tweets:

Now that its official, I want to say that I don't have the words to express how grateful I am to you for the steadfast support and...
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

Encouragement I received from all of you.Ive always felt that there was a connection beyond the uniform.Thank you for making me feel wanted
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

Looking forward to a new chapter with the Jays.
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

It was a wonderful gesture by a classy pitcher like R.A. Dickey to thank his fans in New York.  It was also wonderful to see him use the word "steadfast" in one of his tweets.  As most casual baseball fans know, that word is not one that's dropped very often in cliché-filled post-game interviews.  In fact, according to our soon-to-be-put-away-for-good volume of Dickeypedia, here is the definition of the word:


steadfast:

• fixed in direction; steadily directed.
• firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment, etc., as a person.
• unwavering, as resolution, faith, adherence, etc.
• firmly established, as an institution or a state of affairs.
• firmly fixed in place or position.

All I got from those definitions is that firmness has something to do with being steadfast.  Perhaps if we used the word in a sentence, it might clear things up a bit.

To do that, we did what we always do in these situations - we contacted a member of the Mets organization.  We've never showed much concern for whether or not we enlisted the services of a current Met or a former Met.  We just needed someone who was breathing and could give us a sentence or two.  That's not much to ask for, right?

So for this final Dickeypedia segment, we went to the Grand Poobah himself.  The chief cook and bottle washer.  The Big Kahuna.  That's right, loyal readers.  We went to Fred Wilpon, affectionately known around these parts as Papa Smirk.

Papa Smirk was more than happy to enlighten his paying customers with a sentence or seven using Dickey's firm word so that no one would be confused by its meaning.  He used it in his reflection of former players that have called Citi Field home:

"I did everything I could to keep players around as they were approaching free agency.  But we had to trade Carlos Beltran after some schmuck overpaid him to come to New York based on one playoff series.  We finished in fourth place with R.A. Dickey winning the Sandy Koufax Award; we can finish there without him.  And Jose Reyes thought he would get Carl Crawford money, but he's had everything go wrong with him.  Perhaps had he steadfast and healthy, we would have signed him.  I'd rather use that money to buy more Sandy Koufax autographed game-used Dodger boxers instead.  Mmmm, I love the smell of Koufax in the morning."


Uh, on that note, perhaps it's a good thing we'll never be doing another Dickeypedia Word of the Week piece.  Some of those sentences have gotten a little too personal for our tastes.

As we wrap up this final Dickeypedia segement, we'd like to thank all the former Mets who contributed with their vocabulary skills.  Players such as Gregg Jefferies, Bobby Bonilla and Victor Zambrano, to name a few, all taught us how NOT to use certain words in Dickey's lexicon, even if they thought they were showing off their linguistic skills.

Good luck to R.A. Dickey in Toronto.  And thank you for being so steadfast and loyal to your fans!


Even though he is no longer toiling for the Mets, you can still follow R.A. Dickey on Twitter by clicking here.  For more vocabulary assistance, please read the following Dickeypedia entries:

Feb. 22, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Narrative (featuring Gregg Jefferies)
Feb. 25, 2011: A Double Dose of Dickeypedia (Rudiments, Vernacular) (featuring Armando Benitez)
Mar. 10, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Syntax (featuring Bobby Bonilla)
Apr. 2, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Asphyxiation (featuring Oliver Perez)
May 15, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Fortitude (featuring Victor Zambrano)
Aug. 14, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Fodder (featuring Jeff Kent)
Sept. 3, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Hyperbole (featuring Lenny Dykstra)
Jan. 8, 2012: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Acclimatize (featuring Mike Scott)

DJ Joey B Presents: A Charlie Samuels Top Ten List

What's up, everyone?  Welcome to the party!  And why exactly are we throwing this party?  I'll tell you why!   This is the 500th Studious Metsimus post!  So throw your hands up in the air and wave them around as if you had no concerns!

For those of you who just crashed the party, allow me to introduce myself.  My handle is DJ Joey B and I'm here to put my spin on things.  Today, I have a special 500th post countdown for you.  If you've been listening to your Mets-related news this week, you might have an idea where this countdown is going.

Yesterday, former Mets' clubhouse manager Charlie Samuels pleaded guilty to the Queens Supreme Court, admitting that he made off with over $2 million worth of team memorabilia.  Samuels will be spared having to take a walk down the blue and orange mile, as he will not have to serve jail time for his crime.  However, as part of his punishment, he will be placed on five years probation.  He will also have to pay a total of $59,000 to the Mets, the city and the state, as well as return his collection of autographed items.  Furthermore, he has been banned for life from Citi Field, joining the tens of thousands of fans who have already decided to do the same thing.

In honor (or dishonor, in this case) of yesterday's verdict, I'd like to count down the top ten items Charlie Samuels would have sold if he was still into that "betraying trust/greed is good" thing.  This top ten pretty much spans every era in Mets history, proving that Samuels was an equal opportunity leech.

So get out your leisure suit and put on those boogie shoes.  I'm not just saying that because Charlie Samuels will try to swipe them to list them on eBay.  I'm saying it because we're ready to count things down!


Top 10 Things Charlie Samuels Would Have Sold... (...if it wasn't kinda sorta illegal for him to do)


10. Casey Stengel decoder ring

Have you ever watched old footage of Casey Stengel?  The "Old Perfessor" proved to be one of the best multi-taskers in club history, as he served as both team manager and team butcher (of the English language).  Therefore, it should come as no surprise that a Casey Stengel decoder ring would fetch quite a haul if it were to be sold.  Fans of the original Mets would scoop it up faster than you can say "Metsie, Metsie, Metsie."


9. Signed contract where M. Donald Grant sold his soul to the devil

In 2004, Cubs fans blew up the Steve Bartman ball in an attempt to change their fortunes.  Mets fans should follow suit by burning the contract signed by M. Donald Grant in which he sold his soul to Beelzebub.  The highest bidder for the parchment would get the opportunity to do just that in the hopes that erasing the name of the man who traded away Tom Seaver and was lurking behind the scenes in the Nolan Ryan deal would finally allow the Mets to record their first no-hitter (both Ryan and Seaver accomplished the feat after leaving New York) and their next Hall of Famer (Seaver is the lone player in Cooperstown wearing a Mets cap on his plaque).


8. Lee Mazzilli's game-used pants (circa 1979)

What woman in the late '70s didn't want to be in Lee Mazzilli's pants?  Unfortunately, those pants were tighter than Fred Wilpon's wallet, making it impossible for anyone other than Maz to fit in them.  Therefore, those pants would go to the woman (or man) with the highest bid.  It goes without saying that the pants would look lovely alongside that person's collection of Scott Baio posters and Leif Garrett albums.


7. Nino Espinosa's afro

Do you remember Nino Espinosa's afro?  Charlie Samuels sure did.  Trying to cash in on the latest craze of televising ballplayers' haircuts, Nino's noggin would be shaved in a televised special, with the Brillo Pad locks being sold to the fan with the deepest pockets and the weirdest fetish in recorded history.


6. Doug Sisk pitching video (on Beta)

Here's a little known fact.  Before Tom Emanski became a household name for his defensive drill videos, Doug Sisk tried to do the same with his pitching video.  Two things got in the way of this becoming a must-have video for all baseball fans.  First, although it was recorded in 1984 (when Sisk was still good), it wasn't released until the spring of 1985 (when Sisk was anything but good).  Second, it was only released on Betamax, not VHS.  As such, it has become a rare item that would net a pretty penny and would make a fine addition to anyone's collection.  (Act now and as a bonus, you'll receive the George Foster-helmed masterpiece, "Get Metsmerized", on vinyl or 8-track.)


5. Bret Saberhagen Clorox commercial

It might only be 30 seconds long, but it's half a minute of heaven.  Bret Saberhagen, who once had a squeaky clean image, was spotted doing a squeaky clean ad for Clorox Bleach soon after signing with the Mets in 1992.  Although bleach became synonymous with Saberhagen later on in his Mets career for other reasons, owning this 30-second video (which we're happy to say is NOT on Beta) will brighten anyone's day.


4. Copy of "The Worst Team Money Could Buy" w/special autograph

It's common knowledge that a book signed by its author will be more valuable than a John Hancock-less book.  But what about a book signed by one of its "characters"?  In what was sure to be a true collector's item, Charlie Samuels was looking to part with a special copy of "The Worst Team Money Could Buy", signed by Bobby Bonilla in Bob Klapisch's blood.  No tour guide should be caught dead without one.


3. Moises Alou's unused toilet paper

Prior to becoming a Met in 2007, Moises Alou admitted that he would pee on his hands to toughen his skin.  Therefore, although his pantry was full of toilet paper, he never had any use for it, choosing to use his "handy wipes" instead.  Unlike other players' memorabilia, Alou gave Samuels full permission to squeeze his Charmin from his pantry.  Samuels added a little color to the unused TP to make it a must-have for any Mets fan, especially the flatulent ones.


2. Jonathon Niese's old nose

After Jonathon Niese took plastic surgery advice from a now-former Met who has a big mole on his face, the lefty's old nose became a hot collector's item.  From Joan Rivers to Toucan Sam, celebrities from New York to Sollywood have inquired about the availability of Niese's old schnoz.  Charlie Samuels was expecting this (which is why he asked that former Met to subtly "suggest" rhinoplasty to Niese) so he could reap the benefits from selling Niese's old honker.


...and the No. 1 piece of memorabilia Charlie Samuels would have sold if it wasn't just a little bit illegal right now is...


1.  Fred Wilpon's Sandy Koufax souvenir cup

It's not a surprise that Fred Wilpon has many collectibles of his high school sweetheart.  His closet is full of Sandy Koufax Brooklyn Dodger jerseys and his night stand and medicine cabinet have their share of Sandy Koufax souvenir cups.  Although Samuels was not able to say whether or not the items were game used, he was certain the only place they were found were in Papa Smirk's night stand and medicine cabinet, right next to his collection of Sandy Koufax Kleenex boxes.