Sunday, October 25, 2009

ESPN 2: Embarrassing Steve Phillips News (Part 2)

As reported here on Friday night by Studious Metsimus and all the other news outlets who can type faster than we can, former Mets GM Steve Phillips got in hot water for his latest affair with a woman. Now when he introduces himself to the next woman he meets, he can just say, "Hi, I'm Steve Phillips, unemployed."

Baseball's resident Ladies' Man has been fired by ESPN for conduct that had become a detriment to himself and to the network. ESPN released a short statement earlier tonight making the announcement of Phillips' dismissal, saying that it had become evident that it was time for the network to part ways with him.

So now Phillips is in baseball limbo. He has no wife (filed for divorce), no mistress (although he does have a stalker) and no job. His weakness for squeeze plays, the ones that don't bring in the runner from third, has done him in.

He shouldn't worry too much. If he needs a job, I'm sure once Keith Hernandez steps down as Just For Men spokesman, Steve Phillips can step right in and do a smashing job. If not, there's always Viagra commercials.

Shame on you, Steve Phillips. You may love baseball, but you're no contact hitter. All you've done is strike out wherever you go. It's back to the minors for you. Hopefully, you won't get called up anytime soon.

And one more thing. You were hired as a baseball ANALYST, not a baseball ANAL-ist. There's a difference. Once you get that straight and you put away the Courvoisier, maybe you'll get some respect back. Thank you and I'll see you on the unemployment line.

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