Friday, October 23, 2009

ESPN: Embarrassing Steve Phillips News

Steve Phillips stuck his foot in it again (and that wasn't the only thing he stuck somewhere). His latest extramarital affair with an ESPN production assistant has caused him to take a leave of absence from his undeserved job with the sports network. This is not the first time Steve Phillips has embarrassed himself. Let's take a look over the years to see how Steve Phillips: Baseball Anal-ist got to be where he is today:

In 1997, Steve Phillips became the Mets' general manager. He celebrated his promotion by trading for Mike Piazza in 1998 and by having numerous affairs with women, one of which led to a sexual harassment civil suit that was settled out of court.

Apparently, the woman thought she was having sex with SNL alum and "Wayne's World" star Dana Carvey. When she tried to get Phillips to say "schwing", he said "not gonna do it". That's when she realized her mistake and brought about the suit.

In perhaps the high point of his career, the players signed and traded for by Phillips (Al Leiter, Mike Piazza, Robin Ventura, Mike Hampton) led the Mets to the team's first World Series appearance since 1986.

After winning the pennant, numerous companies were looking for Mets players to endorse their products. As always, Phillips stuck his foot in his mouth when he removed his cap during the champagne celebration in an attempt to get a spot for Just For Men.

Unbeknownst to him, the bubbly had darkened his hair and the commercial eventually went to Keith Hernandez. This marked the beginning of the end for Steve Phillips and his career with the Mets.

The Mets lost the World Series to the Yankees that year, but Phillips had a chance to redeem himself in the offseason when Alex Rodriguez's name came up. However, he claimed that A-Rod was a "24-plus-one" player who wanted a special tent to sell his merchandise and would therefore not be a good fit for the Mets. In the nine seasons since Phillips' assessment of A-Rod, all Rodriguez has done is hit 394 HR, which is 142 HR more than any Met player has hit in franchise history. It's okay, though. At least Phillips made up for it by signing Mo Vaughn in 2002.

Bobby Valentine was always a fan favorite. In his six-plus years as Mets manager, he became the only man to guide the team to back-to-back playoff appearances, including the 2000 World Series. His 536 victories as Mets manager ranks second behind Davey Johnson's 595 wins. Why is this relevant in a blog about Steve Phillips? Because naturally, Steve Phillips couldn't stand Valentine.

Although Phillips claimed he didn't fire three of Valentine's coaches in 1999 to send a message to the manager, Valentine always viewed the firings as a personal attack on him. Eventually, Phillips did fire Valentine after the 2002 season and replaced him with legendary Mets manager Art Howe. Valentine made sure not to lock the door on his way out as Phillips soon followed him out on June 12, 2003.

Studious Metsimus was able to uncover the one happy moment in the Bobby V - Stevie P relationship. Phillips thought Bobby V was laughing at his "a horse walked into a bar" joke when in reality, he was laughing at the previous night's episode of Seinfeld.

In 2005, Phillips was hired by ESPN as a baseball analyst. He appeared on Baseball Tonight and SportsCenter as well as the network's Wednesday Night Baseball telecasts. In 2009, he joined Jon Miller and Joe Morgan in the Sunday Night Baseball booth.

He also joined FEMA, but in his case, the letters stood for Frequent Extra Marital Affairs. When he decided to break things off with his latest conquest, an ESPN employee named Brooke Hundley, poop really hit the fan for Phillips. The latest fling for the Sexaholics Anonymous dropout caused his marriage to end and may affect his ESPN career. It's amazing his mouth is big enough for him to constantly be able to stick his foot into it.

Who knows when and where Steve Phillips will pop up next? Is his career with ESPN over due to his latest embarrassing moment? His wife surely doesn't want him back. Should anyone?

One thing's for sure. The man who brought Mets fans the return of Bobby Bonilla has a long history of embarrassing moments. Wherever he does wind up, I'm sure his foot will be ready for its next insertion into his mouth.

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