Monday, October 12, 2009

Phillies Take Candy From The Mets...Again!

The Phillies have won three straight division titles. If you hear it from some of their philthy mouths, you'd think they were about to break the Braves' record of 14 consecutive division titles.

However, division titles and last year's World Championship just aren't enough to satisfy them. Just like a spoiled brat, if the Mets have something, the Phillies want it.

When the Mets brought out Mr. Met as their mascot in 1964, the Phillies wanted some of that and debuted the Phillie Phanatic in 1978.

When the Mets won the division title in 2006, the Phillies wanted it and now they've won three consecutive NL East titles.

When the Mets chose not to re-sign Pedro Martinez, the Phillies snatched him up (and then Pedro pitched well against the Mets and mostly everybody else).

Now the ultimate slap in the face has occurred. The most hideous thing a Phillies player could have done to a Mets player has become reality.

Chase Utley has erased Kevin McReynolds from the record book.

That's right, Mr. Greasy Scalp himself, Chase Utley has erased Kevin "Hee Haw" McReynolds from the major league record books.

You see, in 1988 Kevin stole 21 bases for the Mets. In stealing those 21 bases, Don't Call Me Walter (McReynolds' first name is Walter. Kevin is his middle name) was not thrown out. His 21-for-21 season represented the most stolen bases in a single season without being caught stealing.

Now it's 2009 and the potty-mouthed Utley has decided to take candy from the Mets again. Utley stole 23 bases this season and was not thrown out, erasing McReynolds from the major league record books.

When Studious Metsimus approached McReynolds for comment, the usually reserved K-Mac had this to say:

"Please let me eat my Egg McMuffin in peace."

It was clear from his well thought out comment that the former Mets legend was perturbed that Utley had taken his baseball immortality away from him. However, since McReynolds is a gentleman as well as a renowned hunter, it is possible that he might want to congratulate Grease Face with a duck hunting trip in the secluded Arkansas woods and a special meet-and-greet with hunting buddy and expert marksman Dick Cheney.

Chase Utley is still playing baseball in October while the Mets are not. We've gotten used to seeing that over the past three seasons. Good for him. His team survived the 162-game schedule and is now being rewarded for it by playing on the frozen tundra of Coors Field.

However, to take away a record from the most famous #22 in club history (with apologies to former World Series MVPs Donn Clendenon and Ray Knight, but Mr. NRA was tops for Studious Metsimus) is taking it a little too far. Enjoy your record, Mr. Utley and enjoy your hunting trip. I hear the bears are quite hungry in Arkansas this time of year.


Anonymous said...

My mom loved Kevin McReynolds. He was a good hitter and outfielder. (And she thought he was nice looking ???) I don't know where you get your creativity and quick wit/humor from but I loved reading this!!!

Ed Leyro said...

Have Mom read the blog as well so she can reminisce about him and the good ol' days (when the Phillies were still bad and the Mets were still competitors).

Joe D said...

Those damn Phillies love to stick it to us. Very good reading Ed!