Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Michael Sergio Is The Key To Canceling The World Series

Do you remember Michael Sergio? He was the man who parachuted into Shea Stadium during Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. He made a perfect landing near the pitcher's mound unscathed and then was taken into custody without any further incident. No harm, no foul. He was escorted to the 109th Precinct and was released soon after his unexpected visit to Shea.

Does anyone have his phone number? Studious Metsimus would like to call him and his pilot to see if they can help cancel this year's Doomsday Series.

You see, life was simpler back in 1986. It was a time when Mets fans could run onto the field to celebrate division titles and not have to worry about police officers on horses trying to stop them.

Now if you try to do that, you'll get thrown down by dozens of police officers and security officers and YouTube will only show the most embarrassing parts of your romp on the field.

1986 was also a time when you could afford to take your entire family to a game without having to sacrifice an arm, a leg, one of your kidneys and your next child. Even World Series tickets were affordable.

If you were one of the fortunate souls who was able to score some tickets to Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, you spent no more than $40 for your seat. As shown by the picture to the right, field box seats (a.k.a. the most expensive seats in the house) for that game were only $40 each. You could have brought your entire family to the World Series and spent less money on your tickets than you would have spent on one of those new-fangled VCRs.

Of course, parachutist extraordinaire Michael Sergio must have been priced out of the World Series so he decided the watch the game from a less expensive seat.

Times have changed. Because of today's security concerns, if Sergio tried to do this now, he'd be...wait a minute. That just gave me a goofy, but brilliant idea.

If you know me or if you read this post written by my doppelganger at Mets Merized Online, you would know that I don't care who wins the World Series. I hate both teams involved. Maybe my dreams of a double forfeit can come true if I can get Michael Sergio to reprise his stunt at Yankee Stadium.

If he can fly over the Bronx and skydive into Yankee Stadium, maybe he'd raise some security concerns and the World Series would be canceled because MLB wouldn't be able to gurantee the safety of its players. After all, how can they know he's not armed?

Paging Mr. Sergio. Come in, Mr. Sergio. Would you like to help your fellow Mets fans out? Studious Metsimus can't guarantee that we can keep the fighter jets from shooting down your plane, but you can't worry about a few professionally trained military pilots with a full supply of ammunition when millions of Mets fans need you! Save our season, Michael Sergio! We're counting on you!

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