The Final Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Steadfast

All good things must come to an end.  And with this week's news that R.A. Dickey was traded to the Toronto Blue Jays, that means the non-weekly Dickeypedia Word of the Week has reached its final installment as well.

Before he left the bright lights of New York for the poutine of Toronto, Dickey left us with three heartfelt tweets:

Now that its official, I want to say that I don't have the words to express how grateful I am to you for the steadfast support and...
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

Encouragement I received from all of you.Ive always felt that there was a connection beyond the uniform.Thank you for making me feel wanted
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

Looking forward to a new chapter with the Jays.
— R.A. Dickey (@RADickey43) December 17, 2012

It was a wonderful gesture by a classy pitcher like R.A. Dickey to thank his fans in New York.  It was also wonderful to see him use the word "steadfast" in one of his tweets.  As most casual baseball fans know, that word is not one that's dropped very often in cliché-filled post-game interviews.  In fact, according to our soon-to-be-put-away-for-good volume of Dickeypedia, here is the definition of the word:


steadfast:

• fixed in direction; steadily directed.
• firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment, etc., as a person.
• unwavering, as resolution, faith, adherence, etc.
• firmly established, as an institution or a state of affairs.
• firmly fixed in place or position.

All I got from those definitions is that firmness has something to do with being steadfast.  Perhaps if we used the word in a sentence, it might clear things up a bit.

To do that, we did what we always do in these situations - we contacted a member of the Mets organization.  We've never showed much concern for whether or not we enlisted the services of a current Met or a former Met.  We just needed someone who was breathing and could give us a sentence or two.  That's not much to ask for, right?

So for this final Dickeypedia segment, we went to the Grand Poobah himself.  The chief cook and bottle washer.  The Big Kahuna.  That's right, loyal readers.  We went to Fred Wilpon, affectionately known around these parts as Papa Smirk.

Papa Smirk was more than happy to enlighten his paying customers with a sentence or seven using Dickey's firm word so that no one would be confused by its meaning.  He used it in his reflection of former players that have called Citi Field home:

"I did everything I could to keep players around as they were approaching free agency.  But we had to trade Carlos Beltran after some schmuck overpaid him to come to New York based on one playoff series.  We finished in fourth place with R.A. Dickey winning the Sandy Koufax Award; we can finish there without him.  And Jose Reyes thought he would get Carl Crawford money, but he's had everything go wrong with him.  Perhaps had he steadfast and healthy, we would have signed him.  I'd rather use that money to buy more Sandy Koufax autographed game-used Dodger boxers instead.  Mmmm, I love the smell of Koufax in the morning."


Uh, on that note, perhaps it's a good thing we'll never be doing another Dickeypedia Word of the Week piece.  Some of those sentences have gotten a little too personal for our tastes.

As we wrap up this final Dickeypedia segement, we'd like to thank all the former Mets who contributed with their vocabulary skills.  Players such as Gregg Jefferies, Bobby Bonilla and Victor Zambrano, to name a few, all taught us how NOT to use certain words in Dickey's lexicon, even if they thought they were showing off their linguistic skills.

Good luck to R.A. Dickey in Toronto.  And thank you for being so steadfast and loyal to your fans!


Even though he is no longer toiling for the Mets, you can still follow R.A. Dickey on Twitter by clicking here.  For more vocabulary assistance, please read the following Dickeypedia entries:

Feb. 22, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Narrative (featuring Gregg Jefferies)
Feb. 25, 2011: A Double Dose of Dickeypedia (Rudiments, Vernacular) (featuring Armando Benitez)
Mar. 10, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Syntax (featuring Bobby Bonilla)
Apr. 2, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Asphyxiation (featuring Oliver Perez)
May 15, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Fortitude (featuring Victor Zambrano)
Aug. 14, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Fodder (featuring Jeff Kent)
Sept. 3, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Hyperbole (featuring Lenny Dykstra)
Jan. 8, 2012: Dickeypedia Word of the Week: Acclimatize (featuring Mike Scott)

Dickeypedia Words of The Week: Sexual Abuse

As regular readers of Studious Metsimus would know, we have occasionally counted on R.A. Dickey to give us words of wisdom for the Dickeypedia Word of The Week piece.  The Mets' knuckler even gave us his blessing and promised to provide us with more fodder for future pieces.

The Dickeypedia Word of The Week is usually a humorous piece.  But there is nothing funny about today's word (or words, in this case).

In his new book, "Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest For Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball" (written with Wayne Coffey), Dickey talks openly about many topics, including his painful memories of being sexually abused as a child.  Although it was difficult to share such intimate details of his life, Dickey did so for those who are unwilling, embarrassed or afraid to discuss similar experiences, to let them know that what happened to them was not their fault.  Dickey goes on to say,

Photo by Simon Bruty/SI

"I hope sexual abuse is never looked at in the same way, as far as something that is taboo to talk about, or something that is tough to discuss."

Sexual abuse is not something that should ever be taken lightly.  In fact, the definition pretty much says it all:

sexual abuse:

• 1. the forcing of unwanted sexual activity by one person on another, as by the use of threats or coercion.
• 2. sexual activity that is deemed improper or harmful, as between an adult and a minor or with a person of diminished mental capacity.

Many times, especially in the case of children, sexual abuse is never reported.  The child keeps the details of the violation to himself/herself and it ends up having a devastating effect on his/her development and interaction with others.

R.A. Dickey was abused at age 8.  The experience caused him to feel "ashamed and alone", and he even felt that "there was something terribly wrong" with him.  But after a quarter century of keeping it all in, he finally found the courage to tell his wife, Anne.  Since he revealed the news to his wife, their relationship has gotten stronger and now, with his book, he hopes that fellow victims will have the courage to share their stories in the hopes that they will be able to strengthen their personal and interpersonal relationships.  Dickey explains,

Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty

"I have spent so much of my life running and hiding, and I wasn't going to do that in the book.  What would be the point in doing that - perpetuating untruth.  It was important to me to tell the truth, to be completely authentic.  Sharing the pain I went through is part of the healing for me, a catharsis in many ways."

R.A. Dickey is expected to be one of the top pitchers in the Mets' starting rotation.  Because of this, his teammates will look up to him to help lead them to victory.  But after sharing the story about his abuse as a child, many other people will now look up to him, and hopefully for these people, they will be victorious in the struggle to cope with their similar life experiences.

Athletes are viewed upon as role models for children, but sometimes children mistakenly refer to their favorite athletes as their heroes.  The dictionary definition of a hero is a person who is admired for courage or noble qualities.  Make no mistake about it.  R.A. Dickey is a true hero.  And hopefully, his words will help others and encourage them to do the same.


"Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest For Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball" by R.A. Dickey (with Wayne Coffey) will be available for sale on March 29, 2012.  Do yourselves a favor and pick it up.  It's essential reading.

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Acclimatize

Greetings, salutations and any other polysyllablic words that can serve as a synonym for hello.  Some time has passed since our last Dickeypedia entry, but we thought that now was a perfect time for our virtual tome to receive an update.

As many of you are aware, (and if you're not, where have you been?) R.A. Dickey is in the process of climbing to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro.  At 19,341 feet, it is the tallest mountain on the African continent and the tallest freestanding mountain in the world.  Dickey is not doing this for fun or because there's a secret Stormtrooper reunion waiting for him at the summit.  Rather, he is climbing the mountain to raise awareness for the Bombay Teen Challenge, which is an organization that rescues and treats sexually abused and exploited girls in Mumbai, India.

(Editor's note: If you would like to make a donation to support R.A. Dickey and the Bombay Teen Challenge, please click here to be taken to the donation page.)

Our fav'rit knuckleballer and wordsmith has been writing reports of his climb for the "Bats" blog in the New York Times.  Earlier today, amongst the plethora of Bilbo Baggins references, Dickey used a word that would even confound J.R.R. Tolkien.

In discussing his ascent to the next camp on the mountain, Dickey cooked up this delicious piece of verbal fondue:

"Tomorrow we will have only a short hike to Shira 2 camp to continue to acclimatize.  After that, the real test begins."

For many readers, including a particular former Met (more on him later), the real test would involve defining the word "acclimatize".  It's not a word that's used in everyday language and it's certainly not a word that's sprinkled liberally in a baseball clubhouse.  Looks like it's high time to dust off our Dickeypedia to find the definition:

acclimatize:

• 1. to become acclimated or adapted.
• 2. to adapt (oneself), especially to environmental or climactic changes.

Clearly, Dickey was referring to the second definition of the word, as he and his climbing team are going to have to adjust to the obvious changes in air pressure and temperature as they continue to scale the mountain.  But not everyone believes that's the proper definition of the word.

We asked former Met killer (and former Met) Mike Scott to use the word in a sentence.  As you may recall, Scott did not do very well for the Mets during his four years in New York, making 60 starts and finishing his Mets career with a 14-27 record.  (By comparison, it only took R.A. Dickey 39 starts to win his 14th game as a Met.)  However, once he left New York for Houston, Scott scuffed his way to a no-hitter, a Cy Young Award and 110 more victories.

Considering Scott's uncanny ability to deceive all those who came into contact with him, we thought he would be the perfect choice to use acclimatize in a sentence.  After doing a few pre-definition stretches and sharpening his fingernails for a few moments, Scott tackled the challenge head on, saying:

"In 1986, Gary Carter was adamant that I was scuffing the baseball.  But I think when Carter was behind the plate, he was asking Sid Fernandez to do the same thing.  Carter claimed my pitches would sink unnaturally to the left and right when I threw them.  Sid Fernandez?  His pitches would leave his hand and acclimatize through the strike zone.  It takes one to know one, Gary!"

Mike Scott and his Rainbow Brite uniform have been out of baseball since 1989, but he still has a way to make people scratch their heads when he takes center stage.  He failed miserably as a Met, had to cheat to become a success, and is now stretching the boundaries of the English language as wide as Mount Kilimanjaro is high.

If Mike Scott wanted his balls to flutter legally, perhaps he should have learned how to throw the knuckleball like R.A. Dickey has.  Instead, he had to scuff his way to the top.  I guess he couldn't acclimatize to failure.


You can follow R.A. Dickey on Twitter by clicking here.  You can also follow Dickey's blog posts for the New York Times by clicking here.  For more vocabulary assistance, please read the following Dickeypedia entries:

February 22, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Narrative
February 25, 2011: A Double Dose of Dickeypedia (Rudiments, Vernacular)
March 10, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Syntax
April 2, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Asphyxiation
May 15, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Fortitude
August 14, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Fodder
September 3, 2011: Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Hyperbole

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Hyperbole

Greetings, Mets fans!  It's time for another edition of the Dickeypedia Word of the Week, which is a misnomer since this is not really a weekly piece.  But it did give me the opportunity to use the word "misnomer" in a sentence.

For those of you new to this non-weekly segment, we use a quote by Mets' knuckleballer extraordinaire R.A. Dickey, define one of the words used in the quote, then have a former Met use that word in a sentence.  Of course, the former Met is usually someone who wasn't very popular with the fans or had a lexicon comparable to one used by the Incredible Hulk.

Last night, the Mets defeated the Washington Nationals by the final score of 7-3.  Our hero (no, I'm not talking about the Incredible Hulk) pitched six innings, allowing three runs on nine hits to pick up his second consecutive victory.  The win came on only three days rest, as Dickey started for the Mets on Monday during the doubleheader sweep of the Florida Marlins.

After the game, R.A. was giving his usual post-game interview, when he spit out this verbal nugget:

"It's not hyperbole to say that my knuckleball was putrid.  I had to find a way to eat up innings and keep us in it."






Forget about the fact that Dickey used the word "putrid" in a sentence, although that is also a word not usually uttered by a professional athlete in a sentence (unless if they're referring to what the bathroom smells like after Angel Pagan uses it, but that's another story).  He also used the word "hyperbole", which caused us to reach for our Dickeypedia for the definition:

hyperbole:

• 1. obvious and intentional exaggeration.
• 2. an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally.

Even with the definition, some people still might have a tough time ascertaining what a hyperbole truly is.  Therefore, we found former Met and business expert Lenny Dykstra.  Although Dykstra has been in the news recently for many reasons, he is still quite excited about two things: the upcoming college football season and the privilege to appear in a Dickeypedia piece.

When we e-mailed Lenny to ask him if he would use the word "hyperbole" in a sentence for those who were confused by its actual definition, he was more than happy to oblige our request and share a little of his college football knowledge with us.  Take it away, Lenny!

"Last year, there were many high-scoring bowl games.  For example, Tulsa beat Hawaii 62-35 in the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl.  Also, Texas Tech edged Northwestern 45-38 in the TicketCity Bowl.  I think if the NCAA really wanted to give the fans something they'd enjoy, they would take the winners of the highest scoring bowl games and have them play on an Arena League field.  They'd each score 100 points easily!  And what would the NCAA call this game?  Why, the Hyper Bole, of course.  Now give me some more Twizzlers.  I'm starving!"

There you have it, Mets fans and vocabulary enthusiasts.  Straight from the mouth of Nails himself, yet another reason why you should stay in school.

R.A. Dickey stayed in school, and he translated his education into a schooling of major league hitters while performing his craft on the mound.  Lenny Dykstra?  Not so much.  But there is one thing we've learned from this exercise.

It wouldn't be hyperbole to say that Lenny isn't very good at anything anymore, including his master plan to improve the college football bowl season.  Like R.A. Dickey's knuckleball against the Nationals last night, Dykstra's pretty putrid at anything he gets himself into these days.  At least Dickey emerged victorious last night.  Too bad we can't say the same thing about Lenny Dykstra.

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Fodder

R.A. Dickey is a man who is not limited to one talent. He is a father, husband, author, pitcher, Christian, adventurer, Star Wars nerd, reader and cyclist. How do I know this? Because the man said so himself on his Twitter page. (You can add tweeter extraordinaire to his long list of credentials.)

Earlier today, I decided to send R.A. a pleasant morning greeting in 140 characters or less, while at the same time sharing a past Dickeypedia piece with the man who so lovingly named one of his bats "Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver".

Not only was he quick to respond to my tweet, but he gave me permission to continue writing Dickeypedia pieces, saying:




@Studi_Metsimus of course. I'll try to give you more fodder.






(You can read the entire conversation between me and R.A. Dickey by clicking here. Sorry, there was no discussion about Orcrist the Goblin Cleaver, or whether the bat used in the photo above was indeed Orcrist.)

For those who do not have a dictionary handy, I will provide you with a definition to the word that made up the last six characters of R.A.'s less than 140 character Twitter response (seven if you include the period).

fodder:

• 1. Feed for livestock, especially coarsely chopped hay or straw.
• 2. Raw material, as for artistic creation.
• 3. A consumable, often inferior item or resource that is in demand and usually abundant supply.

Of course, now that I have provided the link to R.A. Dickey's Twitter account, he will most likely be followed by all 4½ of our readers, a number that might grow to 5½ if the rumors are true that former Met malcontent Jeff Kent has occasionally read our work. (He claims he reads it for the pretty pictures.)

The second baseman with the mustache that should have landed him a role in "Boogie Nights" found out that Dickey was a fan of Star Wars and sent us an e-mail trying to convince us to tweet his love of the force to R.A. He seemed very pushy, especially after the tenth message. Finally, we gave in, basically as a way to prevent Kent from overloading our inbox and because we felt sorry that he had to go through life with that 'stache.

Anyway, in his effort to prove to R.A. that he was a big fan of his knuckler and the Star Wars films (I won't mention that he claimed his favorite character was Jar Jar Binks to spare him the embarrassment), he wanted me to pass along his favorite Star Wars quote to the Mets' hurler. Take it away, Jeff!





"Hey, R.A.! Remember that famous line in 'The Empire Strikes Back' when Darth Vader said "Luke, I am your fodder"? Remember that? That was awesome. Okay, bye!"






Sigh. Not only does Jeff Kent not know any of the proper definitions of the word "fodder" (or the reason why Mets fans disliked him so much), he even misquoted the line from the climactic scene in Episode V.

Any real Star Wars fan would know that Darth Vader said "no, I am your father" to Luke Skywalker after Luke was led to believe by Obi Wan Kenobi that Vader was his father's murderer.

Now of course, Kent might actually have said "father" instead of "fodder". It was actually tough to tell because he refused to take that bubble gum out of his mouth. However, there was no mistaking the fact that he clearly did not know his Star Wars trivia. For all we know, Kent didn't know the difference between the Imperial March and the Ides of March.

Et tu, Darth Vader?

It's a good thing we have R.A. Dickey around, who is not only capable of weeding out fake fans such as Jeff Kent (who's probably just a disgruntled Trekkie), but is also supportive of the Dickeypedia Word of the Week.

It's guys like R.A. who make it easy for bloggers such as myself to provide fodder for our 4½ readers!

You can follow Studious Metsimus on Twitter here: @Studi_Metsimus
You can follow R.A. Dickey on Twitter here: @RADickey43

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Fortitude

R.A. Dickey has not been himself lately. His record for the season is 1-5 and he's leading the National League in hits allowed, giving up 64 safeties in 51.1 innings. Although his game has suffered a bit this year, his vocabulary has not.

After his latest loss yesterday, our fav'rit wordsmith did not have anything to hide in his post-game interview, saying:

“You try not to be too hard on yourself, but this game will really challenge your internal fortitude when you have outing after outing, and balls are finding holes, and you feel like you’re making pretty good pitches.”

Never mind that Dickey's balls are finding holes. That's something that can be corrected with a change in his grip. What we're more concerned with is his internal fortitude, as Dickey is admitting that he is feeling challenged in that department.

Anytime a man feels challenged, it's always best to let things out. One person who never backed away from a challenge was Victor Zambrano. He was the Mets' version of a Timex watch. He took a lickin' and kept on tickin'. Okay, so maybe he took more than just one lickin', but he did keep on tickin' until he tore a tendon in his right elbow, preventing him from tying Mets' legends Kevin Appier, Jerry DiPoto, Tom Gorman, Mike Torrez and Wally Whitehurst for 87th place on the franchise's all-time wins list.

Zambrano was challenged by the fans every time he stepped onto the mound at Shea Stadium. The Studious Metsimus staff felt that Zambrano would be a perfect subject to discuss fortitude with, so we tried to contact him via e-mail. When he responded that he was unsure what the word "fortitude" meant, we sent him another e-mail with the following definition:


fortitude:

• mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.

Unfortunately, we received one of those annoying "not deliverable" e-mails as soon as we clicked the send button, making us think that Zambrano changed his e-mail address, so we decided to move on and find another former Met to discuss fortitude with.

However, the following day, we were surprised to find an e-mail from Zambrano in our inbox. He claimed he never received our last e-mail, but felt bad that he used the "I don't know what 'fortitude' means defense", so he tried his best to discuss the topic with us in his e-mail. Perhaps it would been better served if he had received our second e-mail before answering, as Zambrano responded:

"It was tough when I was a member of the Mets from 2004 to 2006. But once I got booed for the fortitude time at Shea Stadium, I knew there was nothing I could do to win the hearts of the fans."

R.A. Dickey won more games for the Mets last year in three-quarters of a season than Victor Zambrano won from 2004 to 2006. Dickey has also been a beloved player ever since he first put on a Mets uniform. Zambrano was booed so much at Shea Stadium, even Phillies fans felt sorry for him.

Dickey and Zambrano couldn't be more different as Mets. But they both know what it feels like to have their balls squeeze their way into open holes. At least Dickey can correct his problem. Zambrano's entire Mets career was a stinker. I guess his fortitude was more of the intestinal variety.

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Asphyxiation

After not being heard from in a few weeks, R.A. Dickey has provided us with another nugget that required the use of Dickeypedia to decipher.

According to a recent New York Times article by David Waldstein, Dickey revealed that he plans to scale Mount Kilimanjaro during the off-season. The knuckler (who is donating money to charity with this endeavor) claimed that his inspiration for the climb was the Ernest Hemingway book, "The Snows of Kilimanjaro", which he read as a junior in high school.

Dickey is aware that the Mets might not want their recently re-signed starter to perform such a dangerous activity, but also noted that there is no specific clause in his contract that prevents him from climbing a nearly 20,000 foot mountain.

“There is some risk involved that we won’t summit. There is oxygen asphyxiation, there can be rock avalanches, boulders falling. Someone could fall and break a wrist. All of those are attributable factors for why people don’t summit. But I don’t anticipate those will be problems for us.”

There is no language in Dickey's contract that would disallow him from attempting his climb. There is also no language to define Dickey's language in the above quote. But with one quick check of Dickeypedia, we came up with the definition to "asphyxiation":

asphyxiation:

• 1. the condition of being deprived of oxygen (as by having breathing stopped).
• 2. killing by depriving of oxygen.

Well, that's something different. In the past, Mets pitchers have sometimes caused their fans to stop breathing. Now R.A. Dickey is willing to do something that could cause him to do the same.

Speaking of not being able to breathe, the recently released Oliver Perez (We haven't heard from him on Studious Metsimus in at least an hour. What's wrong with us?) was asked if he could use the word "asphyxiation" in a sentence. Surprisingly enough, Ollie said yes to this request, but only when we assured him that it was not a fancy term for "minor league re-assignment", which he most certainly would have declined. Take it away, Ollie!

"When I was a child, I had a pet donkey. But my family was concerned because they thought she would give birth to many donkey babies. We tried taking her to our family doctor, but he said he couldn't fix animals. Therefore, to get her fixed, we had to take her to a donkey doctor, where he performed the asphyxiation."

There you have it, Mets fans. Oliver Perez couldn't fix his career by throwing strikes, but apparently, he thinks "asphyxiation" will fix his ass.

Hey, at least when R.A. Dickey attempts to climb to the summit of Mount Kilimanjaro after the season ends, if he needs a donkey to carry his provisions, Oliver Perez has one that won't get pregnant along the way. It looks like Oliver Perez might finally be of use to the Mets' starting staff after all!

Dickeypedia Word of The Week: Syntax

R.A. Dickey. It's not just his initials that are rad. It's everything about the Mets' knuckleballer.

As one of the few Mets with a higher GPA than ERA (Dickey's grade point average as an English Literature major at the University of Tennessee was 3.35; his earned run average for the Mets in 2010 was 2.84), Dickey has used his extensive vocabulary in numerous interviews and while doing book reviews.

Yes, R.A. Dickey reviews books, and we're not talking about Vanilla Ice's autobiography (Ice By Ice: The Vanilla Ice Story In His Own Words, in case you wanted your own copy). We're talking about some of the best tomes in modern and classic literature. Here is one such review, as Dickey discusses Yann Martel's novel, "The Life of Pi", in Sunday's edition of the New York Post:

"Pi and his mom are in a shipwreck — he runs an animal circus — and this is about their journey. The oceanliner sends two reps to interview Pi, who tells an outlandish story that’s basically the story you’re reading. He also gives another version, and the reader has to choose. One story has a religious component, and that’s the one I chose. It’s beautifully written — I love the language, the structure, the climax, even the syntax."

At Studious Metsimus, we love how R.A. uses language and structure in his book reviews. We also approve of Dickey's (ahem) climax. But syntax? Well, let's just knuckle our way over to the dictionary and see what Dickey means by that:

syntax:

• 1. the study of the rules that govern the ways in which words combine to from phrases, clauses and sentences.
• 2. the arrangement of words in a sentence.

Got that? No? Okay, we'll give that one to you. It's not the easiest word to define. Even the definition needs a definition. So who better to use the word "syntax" in a sentence than a former Met who knows a thing or two about it.

In 1993, Bobby Bonilla became the fifth Met to hit as many as 34 home runs in a single season, following Frank Thomas (1962), Dave Kingman (1975, 1976, 1982), Darryl Strawberry (1987, 1988, 1990) and Howard Johnson (1987, 1989, 1991). Seven years later, the Mets bought out Bonilla's contract, agreeing to pay him an earplug short of $1.2 million per year for 25 years beginning July 1, 2011.

Syntax was very important for the former Bronx tour guide in his contract, so before anyone falls asleep, let's hand it over to Bobby Bo. Wake up, Bobby!

"I can't wait to collect my first paycheck from the Mets on July 1. Then I can go to Las Vegas with Rickey Henderson to play poker without any of you guys in the media writing about it. Wait a minute. If I win any money in the Sin City casinos, do I have to pay a syntax?"

Um, yeah. Perhaps we were mistaken in thinking that Bobby Bonilla would be able to clarify the definition of "syntax". Maybe we should just have His R.A.D.-ness define his own words instead of going to a misinformed malcontent like Bonilla.

While we're at it, perhaps Dickey can suggest an accountant for Bonilla as well - one who won't try to collect a syntax from him come tax time. After all, past and present Mets should always help each other in times of need. You never know. Dickey now has $7.8 million coming to him over the next two years. He may need someone to show him where to buy a nice house in the Bronx...

A Double Dose of Dickeypedia

There are times when R.A. Dickey's words of wisdom cannot be contained. They can come at you from every direction, just like an Oliver Perez fastball. So it should come as no surprise that Bill Madden's article on the Mets' knuckler/wordsmith in today's Daily News touched upon a topic that made us consult Dickeypedia.

In 2005, R.A. Dickey was coming off his second consecutive poor season for the Texas Rangers. As a result, Dickey was asked by the Rangers to consult knuckleball guru (and former Ranger pitcher) Charlie Hough so he could learn the nuances of the nomadic pitch. In discussing Hough's influence on Dickey's career-saving pitch, the Mets' righty professed:

"Charlie taught me the rudiments of the knuckleball. He changed my grip to help with the consistency and make it mechanically more compact."

Later on, Dickey discussed how he went to Atlanta a few years after studying under Charlie Hough. There he met the Pai Mei of knuckleball instructors, Phil Niekro. After some time in the film room, Niekro made some minor changes to Dickey's delivery, evolving the pitch into what it has become.

Dickey came out of the meeting with Niekro as a new man with a devastating new pitch. So overjoyed was Dickey that he let his extensive vocabulary describe the feeling:

"Only a few people have the knuckleball vernacular. But as Phil told me, the one design of the pitch is to get people out."

R.A. Dickey learned how to throw the knuckleball so he could get people out. However, his penchant for spitting out SAT words as if they were sunflower seeds has gotten people's dictionaries out as well.

For those who only got credit on their SAT for spelling their names correctly, here are the definitions for the words "rudiments" and "vernacular":

rudiments:

• 1. the elements or first principles of a subject.
• 2. a mere beginning, first slight appearance, or undeveloped or imperfect form of something.

vernacular:

• 1. the native speech or language of a place.
• 2. the language or vocabulary particular to a class or profession.

R.A. Dickey showed us the proper way to use those words in sentences. To show you how NOT to use these words properly, we decided to contact former Met closer (and receiver of fan wrath) Armando Benitez to give us his input. In less time than he used to take to blow a crucial save, Benitez came up with these wild pitches of wisdom.

"I don't understand why Mets fans were always booing me. I always went out there and gave 100%. If that's not good enough, then tough. I won't be disrespected, so they better not be rudiments to me."

If that isn't enough for you, Benitez decided to reflect on one "disrespectful" moment in his Mets career. You might remember it as the ninth inning, game-tying, three-run homer he gave up to San Francisco's J.T. Snow in the second game of the 2000 NLDS.

"After that game, I was confronted by a Mets fan who was at the game, but couldn't get tickets. He decided to watch the game from across McCovey Cove. He told me that from where he was, he didn't even need vernaculars to see that I had just served up a meaty pitch for Snow to hit."

If only Armando Benitez had consulted Dickeypedia first, he might not have made a fool of himself when talking about Mets fans who weren't happy with his version of 100%. Then again, we are talking about the guy who put the "BS" in Blown Save...

That's all for this edition of "Dickeypedia Word of the Week". Be here next time as we proceed with your education while former Mets continue to suffer their humiliation.