Ollie, Ollie, Axe Him Please!

All throughout the winter, Oliver Perez has tried to regain what used to pass for his fastball. He went to the Mexican League and became a Tomato Picker (No, seriously. If you don't believe me, click here.) That failed.

He showed up early at Port St. Lucie for Spring Training and talked to Terry Collins and Sandy Alderson about his desire to start ballgames. Blah, blah, blah.

For approximately 15 minutes, he fooled Sandy Alderson into thinking that he had recovered the ability to throw strike one before ball four. Nice try, Ollie.

Now, he's been given until March 10 to prove to pitching coach Dan Warthen and the Mets why he should be a part of this team. If he fails to do so, he will either be demoted to the bullpen or given his outright release.

You'd think El Perez-idente would take advantage of the umpteenth opportunity afforded to him to prove that he can still earn at least one dollar of his $36 million contract. Right?

So today Ollie hops, skips and jumps his way to the mound in the Mets' exhibition game against the Braves. He's given two innings to try to save his career and our sanity. What does he do with the chance? I'll spell it out for you in six short sentences that even Ollie could understand:

• Two innings pitched.
• 12 batters faced.
• Four runs allowed.
• Four hits allowed (three singles, one double).
• Three bases on balls.
• .583 on-base percentage against him.

Never mind the fact that he also struck out three batters. Those were sympathy Ks by the Braves. They know that if they make him look good by racking up a few strikeouts, they make the decision to cut Oliver Perez far more difficult for Mets management.

Mets fans have put up with this poor excuse for a major league pitcher ever since he put his "x" on the three-year, $36 million contract in 2009. The day he left his John Hancock on that contract was the last time Oliver Perez was able to put something where he was told.

Do us all a favor, Mr. Alderson. That March 10 deadline for Oliver Perez? Ignore it. Make it February 27. Cut him now. If you don't, you risk having Terry Collins actually having to bring him into a game during the regular season when Ollie won't be facing players who will give him sympathy strikeouts.

Jesus saves. Too bad Oliver Perez's career has already gone to Hell.

We've had enough. In your short time as GM, you should be fed up as well. Increase your popularity rating with the Mets 46-fold by ridding the team of No. 46. In fact, just retire the number while you're at it. No one should be forced to wear the most unluckiest of numbers after Ollie's negative energy has permeated it.

Simply stated, "Ollie, Ollie, Axe Him Please!" At least if the season goes badly, that would give us one highlight to celebrate.

Izzy Lightning In A Bottle?

Jason Isringhausen was one of three members of Generation K, the triumvirate of young pitchers who were supposed to be the '90s version of Seaver, Koosman and Matlack. Isringhausen had the most success after his initial call-up to the majors in 1995, going 9-2 with a 2.81 ERA in 14 starts.

However, injuries took their toll on Izzy and he was dealt to Oakland at the trade deadline in 1999 for reliever Billy Taylor. Taylor's career with the Mets lasted all of 18 games, as his 8.10 ERA probably had something to do with the length of his stay in New York. Meanwhile, Isringhausen went on to become an All-Star closer with the Athletics and Cardinals, saving 293 games over the course of his career.

Had Isringhusen stayed in New York as a reliever (he picked up one save for the Mets in 1999), perhaps Mets fans would never have been subjected to watching Armando Benitez, Braden Looper or Luis Ayala putting the BS in Blown Save. However, that was then and this is 2011, a year that has brought Izzy's baseball odyssey back to New York.

This has happened before, when a pitcher who made a splash with the Mets went elsewhere, made the postseason repeatedly, including a World Series championship, and then came back at the end of his career in an attempt to close out his career where it all began.

David Cone pitched for the Mets from 1987-1992 and had some of the best seasons of his career in Flushing. But after being traded to the Toronto Blue Jays for the underachieving Jeff Kent and Ryan Thompson (whose sole claim to fame was hitting a grand slam off John Smoltz in 1994 that preceded a bench-clearing brawl when Smoltz intentionally hit mighty mite John Cangelosi with his next pitch), Cone had his greatest success in the majors. He won the Cy Young Award in 1994 with Kansas City, threw a perfect game as a member of the Yankees in 1999 and won a total of five World Series rings (one with Toronto in 1992 and four with the Yankees in 1996, 1997, 1998 and 2000). He then came back to the Mets in 2003 and surprised everyone by making the team out of Spring Training. However, his comeback was short-lived, as he went 1-3 with a 6.50 in five games (four starts).

Jason Isringhausen, on the other hand, pitched for the Mets from 1995-1999 before his trade to Oakland in July of 1999. Because of the trade, he missed out on the Mets' first playoff appearance in 11 years. But beginning the following year (2000), Isringhausen would become a staple in the playoffs.

In 2000, the A's won the AL West and in 2001, Oakland made the playoffs as a 102-win wild card team. After signing with the Cardinals as a free agent, Izzy helped St. Louis win the NL Central division title in 2002. The Cardinals failed to make the playoffs in 2003, but then won three straight division titles, winning the National League pennant in 2004 and the World Series in 2006.

Injuries took their toll on Isringhausen following his last successful season as the Cardinals' closer (2007) and he required Tommy John surgery in June of 2009, while a member of the Tampa Bay Rays.

Now Isringhausen is back on the Mets, and he is impressing the coaching staff to the point where he might pull a David Cone and make the team out of Spring Training. Mets' pitching coach Dan Warthen has monitored Isringhausen closely in camp and had this to offer on his progress:

"I've seen a lot more than I expected at any time. The ball is coming out of his hand great. He still has the Izzy curveball, and he's added a nice little cutter and changeup. I couldn't be more pleased. If Izzy can come in and continue to do exactly what he's doing right now, he is a major part of this."

If Isringhausen does make the team, he may be wearing his old No. 44 (which symbolizes the fact that he was a 44th round draft pick in 1991). Right now, Jason Bay is currently wearing the number, but he has only worn it since being traded from the Pirates to the Red Sox in 2008. When Bay was making a name for himself in Pittsburgh, he wore No. 38. Although he hasn't said that he will go back to wearing his old number with the Pirates (currently new acquisition Chris Capuano is the wearer of No. 38), he has said that he would gladly give up No. 44 to Isringhausen:

“I’ve tried to hit against him and I know how good he is. I hope he makes it because he’s a great pitcher and he’ll make our team better. And if he does, I’m giving him the shirt. It’s his. I want him to have it.”

David Cone tried to recapture some of his old magic when he broke camp with the Mets in 2003 after not pitching in the major leagues in 2002. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't able to come back successfully. Jason Isringhausen didn't pitch in the majors in 2010 while recovering from Tommy John surgery. Will Izzy be able to make the team and succeed in the bullpen? If so, the Mets might have found lightning in a bottle.

There are less than five weeks to go until Opening Day. If there is something left in Izzy's tank, now is the time to prove that he is still capable of helping a big league team. With the departure of Pedro Feliciano and Hisanori Takahashi, the Mets are going to need all the help they can get in the bullpen. Jason Isringhausen might be one of those relievers, and if he is, lightning will have indeed struck twice for Izzy in New York.

Jerry Manuel To Jenrry Manuel: "Mejia Love You Long Time"

Jenrry Mejia is among the top prospects in the Mets organization, but if you hear Jerry Manuel and Dan Warthen speak, you'd think Mejia was going to be the fifth Beatle, adding his name to the Fab Four who will be inducted to the Mets Hall of Fame on August 1.

According to Mike Puma in the New York Post, Jerry Manuel was so impressed with his boy's pitching performance on Friday (Did you know Jenrry Mejia's full name is JENRRY MANUEL MEJIA? I kid you not.) that he was considering the 20-year-old Mejia as a potential reliever for the Mets when they break camp in four weeks. This comes on the heels of Papa Manuel's announcement last week that Junior's cutter reminded him of the one thrown by Mariano Rivera.

Pitching coach Dan Warthen also claimed that "it moved" (and he wasn't referring to Mejia's cutter; you figure it out.) when he witnessed Mejia's 2 1/3 inning performance in which the young hurler struck out four batters while not giving up any hits. On northjersey.com, Tara Sullivan reported that Warthen was comparing Mejia to a young Doc Gooden and called him "a major league pitcher today."

I have two words to say about the comments made by Manuel and Warthen and those two words are...

ARE THEY F**KIN' CRAZY?

Mejia pitched well on Friday, but how many established major leaguers did he face? Hanley Ramirez did not play for the Marlins, but no-names like Michael Stanton, Brett Hayes and Danny Richar did. Apparently, this was enough for the proud papa to say that Mejia might be good enough to bypass AAA and go straight to Citi Field.

And to pitching coach Dan Warthen, the man who "coached" the Mets to their next-to-last finish in walks allowed, here are the stats for Dwight Gooden in his final year in the minor leagues: 19-4 won-loss record, 2.50 ERA, 300 Ks in 191 innings.

What did Jenrry Mejia do last season in the minor leagues? How about a 4-6 won-loss record with a 3.14 ERA and 91 Ks in 94.2 innings. But apparently, visions of Doctor K are what Warthen sees.

Jenrry Manuel Mejia is a very good pitcher. He appears to be on track to be a starting pitcher in the major leagues at some point. But he is not a major league pitcher right now. Even if he continues to blow away career minor leaguers in Grapefruit League games, he should be a Buffalo Bison in April, not a New York Met.

It's too bad Manuel and Warthen have gone sweet for Oh Jenrry. If they get their wish to have Mejia on the major league roster come April, his development could go sour.